Hi guys.

So I'm sure you all heard about the news (who hasn't?) by now. Baekhyun and Taeyeon, Baekyeon...wow. I still can't belive they're dating. I'm happy for them, honestly I am, but I hate the fact that they're hurt because of this; they're losing fans left and right. And now that it's been confirmed, I don't quite know what to do with this fic. I feel like I'm expected to make this all BaekYeon now and I just...I really don't know. So I've decided to discontinue it. I'm sorry, but I need a break from these ships, fandoms--everything. Maybe I'll write about them again someday, maybe I won't, but I'm just really sorry. This is the end.

Ha! I'm kidding! Of course I won't quit on this story; I won't quit on you guys! To those who ship Taeyeon with the others: fear not, I won't just focus on BaekYeon. Nothing about this fanfic will change, all ships will be treated equally (unless, of course, a ship just outright slays them all.) Because, as you know, fanfiction is our world, our own little reality. Isn't that what's great about it, having our OTPs and fantasies come true at least even in writing? I'm here for you guys ♥

"Can someone please tell me why we're doing this at—" Sehun glanced at the clock "—six o'clock in the morning? It's Saturday."

Taeyeon barely looked up at him from behind the kitchen counter. She, like everyone else, was busy cleaning the flat. "Because Jessica's coming over in a few minutes and we want her to like you." She glanced from one guy to another. "All of you."

"It's Saturday." He repeated matter-of-factly. Sehun, it seemed, turned into a vampire every weekend—asleep in the morning and lurking in 24/7 bubble tea houses at night. Taeyeon rolled her eyes and went back to work.

"I don't understand, what does having a spotless place have to do with her liking us? She some clean freak or something?" Baekhyun asked, his voice barely heard above the loud roar of the vacuum.

"I still don't know what a Sicapocalypse is." Luhan mumbled.

Taeyeon abruptly stopped wiping and sighed. "Sicapocalypse. Noun. The event in which one must face the wrath of Jung Jessica. An event similar to the apocalypse where one must dodge meteors and avoid earthquakes—metaphorically—that said female brings. Also known as Sergeant Sica's Military Nightmare."

Everyone stared at her with their jaws hanging open. For a few moments, only the vacuum could be heard. Baekhyun was the first to speak up, "Uhh, why do I feel like you've said that numerous times before?"

"Because I have"

Luhan was staring at her curiously. "Why, exactly?"

"Because she does this all the time." Taeyeon said with a roll of her eyes. "You wouldn't believe how she scared off the guys I dated."

"Guys?" Kyungsoo wrote on his whiteboard. He really went through with the dare—Luhan, too—but Taeyeon felt like it was only because not doing it meant he'd have to eat Jongin's cooking. And Jongin's cooking . No seriously, you wouldn't know if you were eating rice or rocks.

"Yes, guys. It's like this initiation."

"Then that must mean..." Taeyeon could almost see the imaginary light bulb that flicked on in Baekhyun's mind as he pointed a finger at himself, "You're planning to date one of us?!"

Everyone turned to her in shock. It was the first time Taeyeon saw statue-Sehun with the same expression as smiley-Luhan (though they all looked like everyday-Kyungsoo; except for Kyungsoo, of course, who looked like an upgraded version of himself.)

Taeyeon faceplamed. She literally facepalmed. Such flower boys, much stupidity.

"No, for crying out loud! As if I'd ever date one of you, pfft. She's just trying to test you guys. And if you fail, which I pray to the heavens you don't, she'll make me move out!"

A chorus of "ah's" was heard.

"Wait, she can do that?" Luhan asked, biting his lip. He looked like a puppy being scolded. 'Aww, cute'

Taeyeon cleared , "Yeah, so you guys better be prepared! Remember the training, okay? She's going to arrive in a few—"

Knock, knock. Everyone snapped their heads toward the door. 'Speak of the devil"

"Quick! Pretend like you weren't just cleaning!" She threw the feather duster at what she hoped was not Luhan's face (a low "ow" indicated it was Sehun's), rushed to the front door, and flung it open.

"Hey," her best friend greeted coolly, dragging her luggage behind her as she walked in without any invitaion. "I'm here for the sleepover." More like "I'm here to torture the poor souls you call flatmates. Sup?"

Taeyeon walked behind her best friend as she made her way to the living room. 'She seems oddly calm...' There, all four of her flatmates were already lined up. Their backs were as straight as rulers and their faces showed no emotion; she had trained them well.

Jessica turned to her with an eyebrow raised, to which Taeyeon only shrugged, biting back a proud smile. She gave her best 'I-have-no-idea' face.

Then, something unexpected happened. Her best friend smiled. Jessica. Jung Jessica. Her best friend, Jung Jessica, actually smiled-—during the Sicapocalypse! Maybe there wasn't even a Sicapocalypse; maybe all she really wanted was a sleepover.

"Hey, Taetae, I see you briefed them this time, unlike the others." Her smile grew bigger and more evil before disappearing entirely. Taeyeon felt her heart drop. Her chin in the air, that posture—Sergeant Sica was back in business, and she was going to give them hell. She walked over to the guys and stared them down one by one.

Up first was Baekhyun.

"Name," Jessica said, giving him her best glare.

"Byun Baekhyun, sir—I mean ma'am!" He sputtered out nervously, arm nearly hitting Sehun as he gave a sloppy salute. Taeyeon groaned. 'Not a good start'

Jessica glanced back at her, her eyes relaying a message Taeyeon didn't quite understand, before she turned to poor Baekhyun who looked like he was going to wet himself.

"Mhmm, carry on then."

[Byun Baekhyun = CLEARED]

Next was Sehun.

"Na—"

"Oh Sehun, ma'm," he replied in a monotone voice. Sehun didn't look anything close to scared (or even interested). Jessica looked impressed, though, and raised her eyebrow before smirking.

"Okay then...bubble tea boy. Carry on."

Taeyeon failed to see the red stain on his cheeks as Jessica moved on to the next victim guy.

[Oh Sehun = CLEARED]

"Name?"

Kyungsoo held up his board. "Do Kyungsoo, ma'am." was written; there was even a half-erased smiley face at the bottom. Taeyeon didn't know whether to laugh or sigh.

Jessica glanced at his board then at him and back again. "Really." It wasn't even a question.

"..."

"Are you a walking mugshot or..." When he didn't respond, she just rolled her eyes. "Nevermind, carry on."

[Do Kyungsoo = CLEARED]

Jessica took one look at Luhan's hair and sighed. "Do I even want to know?"

"It'll only be for three days, ma'am! Luhan at your service, ma'am! Kyungsoo's dare will last for three days as well, ma'am!" He said enthusiastically while Kyungsoo nodded.

Jessica glared at the latter, stopping him mid-nod, and turned to the pink-haired boy. "Do you not have a last name?"

"Actually, it's—"

"YO YO YO, WASSUP HOMIES?! The Jonginator is back and ready to bring some iness into your lives! Go Jongin, it's your birthday! Go Jongin, it's your birthday! Can I get a what...what?"

Oh. Dear. Lord.

Taeyeon knew she was forgetting something, she just knew it. And that something was currently standing at the entrance of the living room, arms thrown above his head and hip frozen to the left. For the second time that day, Taeyeon facepalmed. 'Dammit, Jongin!'

Jessica stared at him--half shocked, half-horrified. Taeyeon would've laughed at her face if she wasn't feeling as horrified as her. 'And everything had been going semi-well...'

Everyone was completely silent. Jongin really knew how to shut people up.

Jessica composed herself and gave him the evil eye. "Let me guess, you're Kim Jongin, the extra one."

Said guy straightened himself up. "The extra one?"

Taeyeon signaled to Jessica with her eyes, 'Don' t! They don't know about my theory!'

'Still?' Jessica squinted back.

'I haven't found time to say it.'

'But—'

"Umm," Jongin looked confused. Whatever it is the two of them were doing (though to him it was suspiciously similar to eye telepathy), it looked serious. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Taeyeon said, perhaps too quickly since he looked taken aback. She faked a cough, "Anyway, Jongin, why are you—"

"Taetae," Jessica cut her off. She was staring at Jongin even as she spoke, "I forgot to buy the ingredients for lunch."

Confusion was written on Taeyeon's face. "What? But Kyungsoo already made Kimchi spaghetti, you don't need—"

"Taeyeon." Jessica's voice was serene, like the calm before a storm. "It would seem impolite for me to just barge in here—"

"You just did, a few minutes ago."

"—and not have anything prepared. So will you please just go to the grocery store and buy me what I need?" Jessica was looking at her now and Taeyeon could clearly read her eyes. She wanted to be alone with the boys. And despite the fact that she just used please in a question, Taeyeon knew she couldn't refuse.

"O-kay, then. Off to the grocery I go." She quietly grabbed her bag and looked at the boys; they were still in attention. As much as she didn't want to leave them with her scary best friend, she had no choice. She just wished they'd survive whatever challenge Jessica threw their way. Taeyeon raised her fists and whispered, "Good luck!" before leaving.

As the door clicked shut, the air around the flat changed. Jessica—emitting murderous vibes—smirked. Taeyeon knew her well, but what she didn't know was that Jessica liked having her prey all to herself. Finally, they were.

"And so the fun begins."