T A O  P O V

"Zitao-ah...are you okay?"

Yifan ge was sipping his beer. Both of us were at a bar inside the hotel. All of us EXO-M were in Beijing at that time. It was 10 PM and we were heading out here just to relieve our stress after the practice for the whole day.

"Huh?" I responded. "I'm okay, ge. You must be thinking that I look so tired and souless, isn't it?"

Yifan ge chuckled and gave me a smirk. I smiled at him as I keep on watching him drinking beer so seriously.

"How was your checkup at the hospital?" I asked. Earlier before we go out together, Yifan ge had just returned from the hospital.

"It's getting worse...I seriously need to rest fully for days. And I might be staying at the hospital at times too."

Yifan ge sighed as he kept on sipping his beer. When I looked at him was losing a bit of his control drinking, I stopped his hands from reaching out for his glass.

"Ge, please stop. Don't drink too much ok? You know you have symptoms of possible myocarditis. Let me buy you a fruit juice instead." I try to convince him. I immediately ordered a juice from a waiter. Yifan ge looked upon me and gave me a serious stare.

"Then why didn't you stop me from ordering beer?" He questioned me.

"Because I know that you needed something to heal your emotional pain. You're having such a hard time on yourself. That's why I let you have only one glass of beer."

A few minutes later, the waiter came to our table with the fruit juice that I ordered. He put it next to Yifan ge. Yifan ge said thank you to the waiter as he sipped his juice. Then, he started to gaze deeply into my eyes. After awhile, he turned away from me as his eyes started to form tears. While he was staying in that position, I captured him with my phone's camera. He didn't realise what I was doing since I made my phone silent.

"Ge, you know that you can always depend on me. You always shared your problems with me and I understand everything that you feel. Us Chinese members know how much you feel all this while and I know how unconfident you are trying to tell the Korean members about your problem. It might take a while for them to understand this..." I said.

"Zitao-yah...I'm sorry. You're the only one who knows about my condition. At least in the group there shall be one person who can listen to my story. I didn't have the courage to tell Luhan and Yixing yet, but in any case in the future, please tell them about this." He said as he wiped away his tears.

"I'm sorry...you mean what exactly ge? Your health problems?" I didn't fully understand what Yifan ge meant just now.

He was keeping quiet for awhile before he continued. "Yes...my health problems. If anything happens to me sooner, please tell Luhan and Yixing only about it."

"But...how about Suho hyung and the rest of the Korean members?"

"I'm just not confident with the Korean members. I'm probably sure once you can confidently tell everything about my condition to Luhan and Yixing, they will try to convince the rest of EXO. Especially Luhan...I trust him that he can convince the rest of EXO more than I did."

"Ge, why didn't you directly tell Luhan ge and Yixing ge about this matter?" I wondered why.

"I'm sorry Tao...it's difficult for me to explain about that. I don't think they are ready to accept this reality. The reason why I let you know earlier because I know how emotionally unstable you are and you need some time to heal yourself compared to Luhan and Yixing. That's why I let you experience apart of my pain a little. If someday this news broke out in the media, you can still be able to heal yourself from the emotional pain in a shorter time." He explained as he took a glance from my eyes.

For some reason, there were a lot of things that he hid from me and the rest of EXO members. Even if I ask why, he always said that he will be all fine and okay. I know that he did everything just for our sake and he didn't want to hurt anyone other than his own self.

That long serious conversation on May 9th 2014 made me realised that he wanted to drop off the hints of what was happening today.

After all of us already arrived at our dorms, we gathered together as EXO at the living room. We have a practice later at the company for our first solo concert by next week. Our managers haven't arrived at the dorm yet as they have some things to handle at the company. Suho hyung asked us to sit closer together at the sofa while enjoying the snacks that we bought from the airport earlier.

I sat next to Suho hyung as for now I can only rely on him. The absence of Yifan ge since this morning makes me feel heavy and uneasy. It's like my own older brother had just disappeared simply like that.

"We have gathered again for a family meeting as EXO." Suho hyung started. "This meeting is to discuss about Kris absence."

Everyone in that room was serious and quiet. I can feel the pain of being a leader in a group. Such pressure was hard for Suho hyung to handle. That's why EXO will always become much more stronger if Yifan ge are always be right here next to Suho hyung.

I remembered during the interviews, Yifan ge always said that he is the appa of EXO while Suho hyung is the umma. Indeed, Yifan ge was right. He will never disappoint us EXO and especially to me, since he always said to me that he will protect me and love me as his own younger brother.

"Actually..." Suho hyung started but he seemed to look so nervous at that moment.

"What is it hyung?" Chen hyung asked, breaking in the silence.

"Kris absence...I...I know...what's happening..." Suho hyung continued.

"What do you mean?" Luhan ge asked. "Did you know something that all of us didn't know?" He continued with a serious tone.

"Is it because he's sick...isn't it?" Yixing ge said. "But then if he was sick, shouldn't he follow us back in Seoul together this morning?"

"Yes...Kris hyung doesn't seem so well. These few days at China he looked so ill. I'm really worried if something happens to him..." Chanyeol hyung said. And yet, I agree with him.

"Guys...I'm going to tell you guys something here. But, please listen until the very end. After you have listened to what I'm saying, please refrain yourselves from talking about this matter in the company. If we needed to talk about this, please discuss this between us only. Don't involve with the manager as well. You guys understood me isn't it?" Suho hyung sounded like he was giving a warning to all of us.

"Ne...we understand." All of us said together.

"Starting from now, this is our beginning as EXO. And starting from now, our company is patrolling us even stricter than before. So, please listen carefully everything that I have to say from now on..."

Author's Note: So, here's another update. To all EXO stans and also Kris stans, I know how much hurt you guys are. Including my own self, I've been hurt since Kris was my bias for 2 years and it's hard for me to see him leave EXO. But let's gather our strength together and keep on supporting both EXO and Kris from now on. I'll update soon and comments are highly appreciated.