03.

If at least you’re happy, it’s a happy ending- Happy [2NE1]

And so he thought and thought about it until he fell asleep. At least he fell asleep with a determination that he already chose. And he had to do that tomorrow. He gonna tell Hoseok everything, everything.

---

After he finished taking care his little brothers, it was already 11 a.m. He was almost useless as he can’t do things right. His mind simply clouded by his giddiness, nervous, insecurities about what will wait him next. But no matter what, he needed to tell Hoseok about the truth.

And so, with that determination, Yoongi made his way to Hoseok’s house, using his own car. It would take one chapter alone if we were about to talk about his wrongs on driving. And the honks he received were countless, not to mention the glare they gave directly to Yoongi. Yoongi just not in the right mind at the moment.

It took 20% faster than usual, and with all the near-death experience in the past 10 minutes, he miraculously arrived in one piece. He pressed the bell nervously. He was always nervous no matter how many times he visited the house. But with current intention, the amount of mixed feelings were enormous, and nervous kept on adding its own kind coiling inside Yoongi body.

It didn’t take a long time before he heard a vague footstep from the inside. The door opened and Portia got out from the house. She smiled as greetings as he walked closer to the gate. She opened the gate wide enough to give a gap for Yoongi to get in.

“Where is Hoseok?” She asked confusedly.

“Uhmm… I would like to ask you the same thing.” He said uncertainly. He sighed internally. When he was so sure and determined to tell, why the hell he can’t be found easily. He could feel the will inside him to tell were losing from time to time. He was about to say goodbye when he heard someone called his name.

“Yoongi-yaa” Hoseok’s mom walked fastly as she was in a rush on telling a very important news. She panted when she stopped, and Yoong had to take a step back out of shock. His mind was still hazy and so when she asked if he was okay or not, Yoongi just nodded absentmindedly.

“Hoseok seemed upset yesterday when he came home. You’re both not arguing right?” Yoongi got back to his senses and sighed at Hoseok’s mom question.

“It was my fault. You know that I… I lied to Hoseok, right?” Hoseok’s mom nodded, “He somehow found it. Well, not literally know all, but he knew I was hospitalized. Well, I’m here to explain, actually. But he wasn’t at home so-”

“Hoseok would love the explanation, and so you need to tell him.” The look that Mrs. Jung gave to him was able to calm him down and gather all the courage he almost lost. Mrs. Jung smiled warmly at him.

“Thank you, mom.” Yoongi was so grateful for having Hoseok as his lover. Not all parents would be able as acceptable and understanding as Hoseok’s parents. And this relationship really filled him as a whole. He was able to feel the warmth and love of having parents.

“Now. We will through this sweet moment later,” She said as she tapped Yoongi’s shoulder, “Now you just need to talk with him and he will understand for sure. Just go straight from here, the first intersection go left, and-”

“It’s okay, I know where is it.” Yoongi let out a small chuckle, “I played there several times before.” And so with that Yoongi excused himself and bade goodbye to Hoseok’s mom.

---

Hoseok sat on the side of the basketball court, panting as to catch some breath after games he had. He was completely exhausted from the game he had earlier. But he needed that exhaust. This was probably the most positive way to distract him from his unstoppable mind he had inside his brain.

It confused the hell outta him. Why the hell Yoongi didn’t want to spill it? Why can’t he just trust him? Why did Yoongi can’t feel safe around him? Why did Yoongi always put himself last? And main question now, what the hell was happening to Yoongi. Hoseok slipped his fingers between the strain of his hair and groaned softly. It was less than 3 minutes after he finished his game, and those thoughts were, again, creeping inside his mind. He was restless, that is.

Sometimes, by looking on Yoongi’s  conditions; fatigue, hard coughs, short breath, and any other symptoms, made a little part of Hoseok believe that there was something really bad was going inside Yoongi body. He already pushed the elder to go to the hospital, together, but the elder always found a very good reason to avoid that. And it would be ended up Yoongi went to the hospital alone. So Hoseok didn't have a choice but to believe.

What if his notion were coming true?

Hoseok shook his head, trying to pull those assumptions out of him. He needed to calm himself before sorting this out and talked with Yoongi.

Suddenly, from the corner of his eyes, he caught a figure sat beside him. From the sickeningly strong perfume the figure had, he believe that she was a girl and she really smelt like trouble that Hoseok most likely would avoid. Without even taking a single glance, he knew this was either Raegan or Hyori. Because well, they both were everyone’s bit- uh bish. Hoseok secretly moved away a bit. It was just the reek of perfume that continuously hit his nostrils made nausea coiling inside his stomach.

He heard a slight of her voice. Hoseok couldn’t forget those sickening voice that accompany him every frigging second of his school life. Raegan. It was an open secret that she had this so called big crush on him. People loved her, her appearance to be precise. Well, to be truth, Hoseok himself find her appearance was good, yeah she was pretty, has a nice body that every uh heteroual guys longed for, but inside, she was like a total rotten bish. She was a selfish brat that craved for attention, yes attention , a bully, and many sickening attitude that made her so NO.

Raegan moved closer, too close for Hoseok’s sake. Hoseok pretended not to notice. He was so close to get up but then that very sickening voice called him. Too bad, he wasn’t as bad as to ignore her. No matter the rumor he got, this girl hadn't done anything that was upsetting to Hoseok, directly.

“What's up?” She said way too friendly and Hoseok hated that.

"Nothing." Hoseok answered with the hint of irritation in his tone. While on the other hand, this brick face of her didn't know what it was being in shame. She shamelessly continued the conversation by ranting unstoppably about how tired she was now. And Hoseok couldn't help but scoffed. Hell, she was only laughing in the side of the court. Well it would be a laughstock if she played, though. Her outfit right now was enough to make her a clown in this place. Her top was covered by a freaking crop top and a really short jeans covered her small part of her legs. Hoseok couldn't comment any further about this.

When Hoseok back to his senses, Raegan was not even close to finis her ranting, and Hoseok thought that he was nice enough now so it was proper to leave. And so without minding her point, Hoseok stood up abruptly, averting her further chants. When he was about to scoot away from there, a grip on his wrist preventing him to do so. He looked back, but not able to say a thing as the main character of our topic just before was standing a bit too close … no, way too close. Hoseok moved his face back enough to give him space.

Before he was able to ask or even let out a single word, his mouth was pressed into an unpleasant slick thing. Mhm. Raegan’s lips. He bulged out his eyes and pushed the girl with all his might. Raegan fell flat on buy Hoseok just couldn't pay attention to it. His stomach knot unpleasantly, it was disgusting and he couldn't help the upset nausea twirling inside his stomach. The taste of her lip-anything lingered on his lips despite the continuous wipes Hoseok did and it made him wanted to puke out.

He was about to cursed the hell outta that but the sight that caught by the corner of his eye was leaving him astonished and frozen. He saw something that he wanted to see the most but now, in this very situation, in the very situation that just happened, it was the very least thing he wanted to see. The sickening twirl inside his stomach went wilder. His mind seemed to be hazed by this one word.

, , , , .

He didn't want to believe his own two eyes, but sadly, he had to. Without minding the chaos that was blurred out now by his senses, his legs ran out of reflect and just focus on how to chase that damned thing if he was running by his foot and it was running by its rodes.

Shoot. Yoongi most likely saw that, and ugh .

Hoseok stopped chasing it and made his way to his house. He needed a car to chase a car, wasn't it?

.

Car. Yoongi’s car.

---

Yoongi widened his eyes in shock. His eyes wandered everywhere but the scene he just witnessed. His mind was blank due to the shock. All of his senses were shut down but not the hurtful pain on his chest. His sight started to get blurred gradually. Playing staring games on his own so the tears won't fall down. He knew the best that he would start crying mess once one tear fell.

He needed to leave, but all his muscles just limped out and he couldn't seem to get his senses back.

Hobi kissed a girl, or or the girl kissed him. Doesn't matter, their lips touched each other, that's matter.

His brain started unstoppably spouting nonsense. The last thing he saw the girl was flat down on the ground and Hoseok eyes landed on his direction. He swore their eyes met, well blocked by his front window but the point Hoseok knew he was there. So abruptly he turned his wheel as soon as he could gain his consciousness back.

He drove hastily, his phone started ringing and buzzing nonstop. But he can't, he can't answer anything just yet. He needed to sort things out. He could see Hoseok running from the rearview mirror.

It hurts like , damn.

But he can't cry, not now. Nevertheless, he needed to concentrate on the road now, he can't just wallowing here and now. Yoongi fastened his car. He didn't want to meet Hoseok just yet. Not now. He bit his lower lip harshly until he could taste a glimpse of metal taste like lingered on his tongue. At least it prevented him from crying.

He could say the trip from the court to his house was planted inside his head. The earlier trip was dangerously blurry for Yoongi. He was so familiar until his hands, feet, eyes, and anything was moving on its own. But at least he arrived in one piece and there was no sign of Hoseok. He really wished Hoseok will just stop and give up. He needed time from himself now.

Due to the haste and the trail of nervous inside his senses, he couldn't even properly the key to the keyhole.

“Shoot dammit, faster.” He mumbled to himself. His hand was shaking so it took longer than usual, but at least in matter of time he finally could get into the house. Without minding to take off his shoe, Yoongi directly made his way to the living room and rested his body to the nearest couch. He kept bumping his legs due to the enormous nervous that coiling inside him. He unconsciously started biting his nail. His phone kept on screaming to get his attention but not even a slightest was given. He needed to sort this out.

Why? Why did Hoseok do that? But no matter how you looked at it it was the other way around. Well, the girl was flat on her own , it could be mean she was the one who initiated it.

His mind started to work on its own.

Hoseok has reason… yeah, he must be has reason. But what? If that girl who kissed Hoseok, then Hoseok wasn't the one who wrong. But if Hoseok were the one who kissed her, what's his reason? And why the girl is being pushed?

Suddenly a vague thought flashed his mind and it was the turning point of his all thoughts. “Or it… or it was all, all because of m- me?” He couldn't help but thought it out loud. He stopped biting and his leg stopped bouncing as the train of ridiculous realizations running inside his system.

I made him upset yesterday. I was lying and hiding things to him. So the first assumption, his motive is because he was upset and wanted to take revenge. But then why he chased me?

Second assumption, he was a perfectly healthy normal teenager. After all the time we dated, we never shared a proper kiss. Well just chaste ones and pecks. So maybe he needed those once in a time? We haven't have the next step of… uh… I mean mhm yeah that.

And Yoongi could feel his face got hotter gradually. He unconsciously started imagining things.

Stop dammit not the right time. Point is, I should be grateful that he isn't doing that. Or so I hope… no! I believe Hoseok wouldn't do such thing…

Ughhhh… it was so frustrating. Yoongi ruffled his own hair. The deeper he thought the ridiculous his idea got.

Suddenly he heard harsh knocks banging on his door. It took several times to make Yoongi got back to his senses. He absentmindedly moved his feet to the door. He wiped his tears when he realized his cheeks were wet.

Here we go.

---

Hoseok ran to his house as fast as he could. He really needed to get his car if he wanted to chase Yoongi. He knocked the door immediately. He had to explain everything. He hoped Yoongi didn't get that angry. He didn't even accept any calls so probably he was mad. If he was mad, this would be the first time. Well like really mad. Yoongi had get angry once in a time but not a real mad.

He was about to call Yoongi’s name when the door was being opened. Hoseok saw the poor state Yoongi now. His long sleeve sweater wrapped his body crookedly. The boy’s eyes was hugged by a red rimmed color, the obvious evidence of him crying. His nose red too and there also a hint of dry skin exfoliated around his red nose. His condition right now made Hoseok felt even guiltier. He had this strong urge to engulf him but how could he? He was the reason of him in this state after all.

"Yoongi,-"

"Hoseok,-" they both spoke simultaneously.

"Wait, Yoongi lis-"

"No, I'm sorry..." again, they said simultaneously.

"-ten..  what?" Surely something was wrong with Hoseok’s ear.

"I'm sorry..." Or maybe something was wrong on how Yoongi thinking.

"B-but…” Hoseok frowned. He closed his eyes and let out a harsh sigh. Yoongi was unpredictable, and so Hoseok needed to know what was inside his mind, “let's go inside first." Hoseok said, his exhaustion just flew away like that. They both sat on Yoongi’s couch.

“Now,” Hoseok started when he saw Yoongi was in remorse mode, “why do you feel sorry? I mean, shouldn’t I’m the one who should apologize?” Hoseok reached Yoongi hand in his.

“No… I mean you must have a reason to do that… and maybe… maybe I know the reason.”

“And what was that?” Hoseok said softly. He knew that Yoongi way of thinking was a mess. All of his old memories were most likely was the reason, and Hoseok planned to fix that. His insecurity was no kidding.

“Maybe… I’m assuming… it was because you… you need replacement?” Hoseok bulged out his eyes, “but.. but.. you aren’t that type of guy. I mean I believe you won’t do that… but maybe-” Hoseok cupped Yoongi face so he stopped wandering his eyes here and there and just looked at him. Hoseok smiled when Yoongi stopped wandering his eyes. See? You couldn’t predict Yoongi way of thinking. But now Hoseok could take a guess on why the hell the boy in front of him felt sorry.

“maybe?” Hoseok cued.

“No…” Yoongi pouted a bit, and the sight completely threw Hoseok out of his mind. Hoseok playfully squished his cheek even more and he started laughing softly.

“No?” He said between his surpassed laughs.

“I’m sorry, okay?”

“For?”

“Thinking that you might do that on your own will.” Yoongi said and muffled since he was not in the right state to talk. Between those little hiccups and the squished cheek, mind you.

“You might be even sorrier if you hear my reason.” Yoongi frowned at Hoseok’s word. What would be his reason?

“She is Raegan.” Yoongi bulged his eyes while Hoseok was laughing his heart out.

“Next joke, please.”

“I wish this was a joke.” Hoseok rolled his eyes boringly. But the winning smirk never left his face.

“That Raegan? Really?” Yoongi made a face.

“That Raegan, really.”

“No way.” Yoongi moved his face away and slumed his back on the armrest of the couch.

“Yes way.” Hoseok deadpanned as he moved closer to Yoongi. He trapped the elder body with his two arms, “Stop it,” he said before Yoongi spouted another nonsense. Hoseok moved closer, giving them spaces really, literally only for breathing. Their nose almost touched each other, “You know you have to give me more than a sorry.” Hoseok said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Stop it.” Yoongi cringed at the sight he had witnessed.

“Nope. Give me some credit for being so forgiving to you.” Hoseok still wiggling his eyebrows and it irritated the hell outta Yoongi. But he was wrong and felt bad for thinking that about him and yeah, as Hoseok said, he felt even badder when he knew that that mi was Raegan.

So in short, he needed to give what Hoseok wanted to get rid that annoying cocky face off him.

“Fine.” Yoongi gave in, making Hoseok smirked even wider. “What do you want?” Hoseok’s eyes glitched in excitement. He was really resembled of a big, super big , puppy that was given a choice between meat or bone.

“Uhmmm. I want your kiss, obvs since I need to get rid the trace of her lips.” Yoongi snorted, that is? Almost too easy. Yoongi was about to give a peck to the younger but before he even moved his face forward, Hoseok stopped him,

“That was the first.”

“There's second?”

“There might be third, fourth, fifhpft-” Yoongi shut his mouth using his palm.

“Don't get ahead of yourself.” And now Hoseok looked like a very sad and lost puppy abandoned by his favorite owner and get splashed by dirty mud… okay well it was too much sprinkle.

“I will just give you three wishes.” At least Yoongi made that pitiful face a little brighter.

“So second, hmmm… I will use this later. And the third-”

“Wait.” Yoongi frowned confusedly, “why the hell you skipped the second but continue the third?”

“Just because I liked it, now shush.” Yoongi rolled his eyes. He forgot his lover was a dumber in dumb and dumber, an airhead, an eccentric, a weirdo, and his only one.

Ew. The fact that it crossed his mind was cringeworthy. He cursed himself internally. Hoseok’s cheesiness was surely contagious. He blamed Hoseok for that.

“And now the third is,” Hoseok’s face went serious and calm and it scared the hell outta Yoongi. The air between them was thick and full of seriousness out of the blue, “you really need to tell me what's actually happen to you.” Hoseok deadpanned.

And with that Yoongi remembered the purpose of him come meet Hoseok. But he didn't want to ruin it by telling the truth or telling the lies. He knew no matter what, he will ruined it.

“Hobi listen. What I'm going to tell you is the truth, partially maybe, but I surely didn't tell you the whole.” Yoongi said in serious tone. Suddenly it felt suffocating for both of them. Hoseok wanted to snap but ever since he arrived, he did nothing but had quarrels with Yoongi. He thought maybe Yoongi really did have a strong reason for keeping this. So with that, Hoseok nodded. At least a little hint will help him.

“There's something wrong with me. I'm sick.” Hoseok eyes widened, “but wait,” Yongi said hastily before Hoseok could spill a word, “I can assure you that I'm doing fine. I'm okay.” Hoseok face became stern and looked like he was holding something back. Seeing that, Yoongi scooted closer and put Hoseok’s lanky arm around his body. He put his both legs across Hoseok’s and laid his body to Hoseok’s chest.

“It's fine. Really. Soon, when I'm ready, I will tell you.” Yoongi said before he put a soft kiss to Hoseok’s chin. Hoseok face softened and looked to Yoongi face.

“Fine,” Hoseok planted a soft kiss to Yoongi forehead, “ I will let this go, but you really have to tell me soon, got that?” Yoongi smiled and nodded.

He promised to himself that he will tell Hoseok soon.

---

Yoongi now having his leisure time on his very own bed. It's 8 p.m. and his little brothers were already asleep. They were surely exhausted after playing nonstop with Hoseok. He felt fluffy all of sudden. It made him happy to see his loved ones playing here and there and not having any drama.

Suddenly, his phone rang, interrupting his mind palace, and he hated anyone that dare to do that. Grumbling, he snatched his phone from the nightstand beside him.

Despite that early grumbles, Yoongi stretched his lips and formed a wide smile, showing his teeth. The fluffy feeling inside his heart was increasing time by time.

From: Hoseok

Yoongi-ya, Goodnight <3

Yoongi replied back with a simple 'nighty night!’. He couldn't believe that Hoseok still did that. They were surely like a newborn couple. No matter what Hoseok did, he was cheesy. The pale boy put his phone back to the nightstand.

He closed his eyes, ready to sleep. He was pretty relief not getting any call or message from Kris. Since it would be pain in the to receive scolding. Suddenly a ring of bad luck hit him in the face.

From: Kris

    How? He must be okay with that. Looks like you didn’t have any problem on telling him huh? Lol.

He was annoyingly a caring person. Yoongi sighed. Why the hell he remembered that and actually put his problem to him mind? He was touched but still annoyed. Yoongi called Kris immediately.

“Hello?” the other line answered it at second ring. It was pretty creepy sweet, seeing Kris cared for him that much.

“I haven’t tell him yet” Yoong said to the point.

“What now?” Kris asked after he left long, frustrated sighed.

“Well I told him, partially. Pretty much ruckus this day. It was discouraging me.” Yoongi reasoned.

“And what kind of ruckus this time?”

“Hoseok got kissed by a girl.” Yoongi muttered softly, with hope the elder just shrugged it off. But well his bad luck didn't end when the elder messaged him, apparently.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Yoongi flinched slightly, “Are you okay now? Should I take revenge on him,” Kris sighed. These damn cheesy, cringe worthy people around him. Yoongi felt sweetness overflowing on his life.

“No, OMG. Calm down. It's fine now. I already talked to him. And I did something wrong too. It was fine already.” Yoongi was frantic. The hell with revenge.

“Why?” Kris said, slightly annoyed. Not with unreasonable reasons again.

“Why what?”

“Don't play dumb.”

“No . Seriously what?”

“Tch. What did you do wrong?”

“Uhm…” Yoongi was nervous now; Kris was never been like this before. He didn't usually got upset this much. It pressured him and despite his act now, he was actually shrinked down.

“I lied to him you know, and I didn’t tell him when he asked me what happened to me. So he was sulking and the next day, when I'm determined to tell him, he was currently playing basketball, to distract himself. And so that bish came.” Yoongi explained in one breath.  

“And I still can't comprehend why the hell you're in wrong this time.”

“Uh well, if it weren't me lying to him, he wouldn't go to that basketball court right?”

“Not that he can act like this, right?” The elder argued. He really can't get even a bit how Yoongi’s way of thinking. He knew, he knew it very well, that Yoongi had this big over fear about disturbing, bothering, burdening, and hurting his friend, lover, and brothers. But this was overmuch.

“But he never intended to do that. It was that girl who made the first move.” Yoongi defended.

“Yes! I know, because if he intended it, I will certainly kill him. But,” he emphasized the last word, “can you at least make your pride a little higher?” as soon those words came out from Kris mouth, there was a vague sound of Chanyeol exclaimed ‘Yifan!’ from the phone.

As for Yoongi, it was like a train of realization came to his mind. Those words were like a dead bomb dropped right onto his face. He froze at the sentence and not daring to say anything. On the other hand, it might because of he was upset or in the bad mood, but Kris didn't stop.

“are you always have been this low, craving and begging Hoseok’s love?” Kris said venomously. That’s it, Yifan. Stop!, Chanyeol’s another exclaim. Then there was a sound of phone being snatched off.

“Yoongi, Yoongi, it is okay. You’re not low; forget yi—Kris hyung had said to you okay?” Chanyeol reassured the younger one.

“I’m o—okay, hyung. I’ll hang up now, hm?” Yoongi reassured back with not-so convinced tone. But Chanyeol knew that letting him alone was the best choice now, so he agreed anyway. After saying goodbye to each other, they ended the call almost simultaneously.

---

Chanyeol pressed the end call button harshly and stomped out his foot to go back inside the house. He threw the phone to the bed and folded his hands in front of his own chest. He made a displeased face and glared to his lover angrily.

“Wu Yi Fan. Are you crazy, stupid, narrow-minded, or just being a jerk now?” the tone was firm, coming through his gritted teeth.

“What? I’m being realistic now.” The elder pointed out.

“You know the best that Yoongi has this overmuch insecurities feeling, and your words weren’t even helping a bit. If anything it's only make everything worse.” He said.

“But you know too that letting him like this over and over wasn’t going to change anything. Anyway, what could get worse? Now he is in the state where he is actually blaming himself for the fact Hoseok got kissed by a girl. We need to do something to change him.” Kris hated arguing with his own lover, but he, too, needed to help his best friend, Yoongi, to get out from his pathetic situation.

“And being a jerk is definitely not one of those ways too.” Chanyeol said after let out a long sigh. Without waiting the elder’s next words, he brought his way toward the door, and before he closed it, he said, “Calm your mind! And don’t even think that I’ll be back before you can think with your sane head.”

---

Yoongi sat on his own bed as he nibbled his lips softly. He couldn't help but replying Kris’ words inside his mind. He continuously tried to push the thought away. But those ill thoughts really had it way to manage to push back.

Was he really that low?

He shook his head harshly. No, he was only being less-troubling. But anything he said and thought about now, was not even clicked to each other. He couldn't find the purpose of his thinking and he got confused now.

His mind was like a tangled web that couldn't find any right way to untangle himself. He didn't know anymore and he didn't want to know either. It was just too confusing. His stomach knotted unpleasantly. All those endless thought drained his stamina.

He sighed for the nth times to calm his mind down and laid down with his flat back. His breath slightly hitched. He tried to lift his hand but the tinge of pain stop him from doing so. He grabbed his phone to make an appointment with Dr. Lay for another scheduled check up.

From: Dr. Lay

Yoongi-ssi, I think tomorrow will be great to visit me on hospital. I want to check you up. ☺

He replied it with a short okay before he shifted his body slowly to get a comfortable angle to sleep. He was on his way to count the sheep when suddenly a ring buzzed from his doorbell. Confused, he groaned and dragged his way to the door.

Who the hell come at this hour? He couldn't help but protest.

When he opened the door, he was greeted by a familiar tall figure in front of him. He was slightly trembling due to the night wind, not to mention he didn't even use a proper garment to wrap his body.

“C-Can I come in?” His voice sounded trembled.