Prologue – Hoseok’s Notes

01.

‘He is too pale and fragile’ was the first impression from me to him. Yoongi, Min Yoongi. He always sits on the back corner of the class, alone, with his own world. No, he isn’t crazy or retarded, he just doesn’t interact that much to other people. People would flinch away every time he spoke, as if he brought viruses and germs with him anyway. So I assume it is why he doesn’t speak too much and also the reason why he sits on the back all alone. Somehow it hurts me seeing that. It’s not like I pitying over him, it’s just I don’t like to see people to be treated differently.

02.

Today was the first time I actually happy and glad to get scolded by teacher. I am noisy and hyperactive person –not literally-, you might say. I can’t keep silent for much time; it’s just too hard and annoying. I am a talkative person, I just want to interact and interact to other people, and I get bored easily when there are no voices. I feel horrible and lonely, and I hate those feeling. Then as a punishment, I was ordered to sit at the back of the corner, which means that I should sit with that silent people. He looks even paler when I see him closer.

When I walked closer to his table, he just kept his head down. I walked slowly and timidly to the chair beside him. I did greet him, just a simple hi, though, but it doesn’t mean that he should reply it with a super-simple hum. Then I finally couraged myself to say my name, and it worked! He said his name back with super soft, slow, and sweet voice without even bothered to look up. At least I got his name.

Since, as you know, I’m never a silent person, I just kept bubbling without gave a damn whether he listened to me or otherwise, which I assumed the latter. But suddenly, I heard his laughter, it was breath-taking; its sound was so pure, clear, bliss and I don’t know how to describe. This is the most stunning one; he turned his head to face my face, still smiling, not meaning to be cliché or whatnot, I felt like I was in heaven because I saw an angle’s smile. His sweet and gummy smile plastered on his pale face, and his eyes narrowed forming a down-curve; smiley eyes, and then he said I was so cute. CUTE! No, it isn’t like I don’t like it, if anything I feel honored and happy. Like finally, the most silent classmate I ever have is smiling, to me, to boot. One thing that I know so much damn well, I don’t feel like sharing his smile to the others. I want to be the one, and the only one, who can make him smile like that.

03.

I love him.

It’s all started when I didn’t want to change my seat. I love being near of hyung; yes, he is older than me. I learned it through the day I already passed with him. And now I know that he is not that silent. He is not cold and scary guy like rumor says. If anything, he is so sweet and lovable guy. I learned that he loves to rap, he loves to play basketball; despite on how short he is, he loves to hang out, he loves fashion, he loves drawing; you should see his draws –perfection-, and he didn’t pass his test, and forcefully should retake his class, was because he was sick. Yeah, he is pale for reason, right? But oddly, he never brings up that topic or changed it immediately whenever I brought it up, and I just shrugged it off because as much as I want to know, I didn’t want him to see me as an anoyying nosy guy. So, back to the main topic, according on those reasons, I love him. Yes I know that being gay is something. But he is as sweet as sugar and as cute as a girl. So, I’m straight. Should I confess to him? Should I? How if he hated me? But the entire signals he gave to me were something that no other usual people did. Should I? GAAH~

04.

I’m going to confess, no matter what. I just hope it doesn’t turn awkward if he rejects me. By the way, I feel concerned about him. He looks paler than usual. Is he okay?

05.

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! HE ACCEPTED ME!

He was so cute when got the confession from me. He widened his eyes cutely when I told him about my feeling. Then he blushed madly as he said that he had same feeling toward me, and he acted all cute; like playing with his fingers, keeping his head down, and biting his own lips. He was illegally cute you know? I still couldn’t believe that he is elder than me. His body felt so warm when we hugged each other, and then he smiled happily while muttering thanks, I didn’t know what for, because the only mattered to me that time was only the fact that he acepted me. I craved for seeing that smile every day. I promise that I will keep that smile to be always plastered on his face.  I promise, I am his, and he is mine, forever mine.