02.

You say you love me but why do you keep making it so hard for me?- Love is Ouch [2NE1]

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A/N: You know what? I know I've been a jerk writer in here. I lost my passion on writting I guess.But making up stories still my favorite.It's just I really can't form a good sentence. Even if I thought my story is worth to be written, my ability on writing it into a good story is :(

But I still really want to finish this chaptered story. I mean, I neglected it for almost 3 years (or already?) and so I feel really guilty about it. I must say my vocabs and grammar wasn't good at all, and still is actually.But I guess now at least it is understandable, or so I hope. I don't think there still many of you (subscribers) are active, but I will try to finish.

Ah, importantly, I changed few bit of the story. Well, I'm not changing the whole thing or the big part, but I guess It was better to read it again.:') I changed my way on writting too. I didn't use uncertain tense now T.T, I use past tense. and I didn't change the chapter 1 because it will take time again (It takes 2 weeks on revising the chapter 2) I hope I will be able to update faster to make this fiction finished soon :(

ONCE AGAIN, I'M SORRY :( 

--

There’s a sound of door being open and at the ajar, he can see Hoseok and his dad talking. They walked out from the door and go closer to the two figures that sitting on the couch. Yoongi stands up abruptly and bows his head to Mr. Jung, Hoseok’s dad. Hoseok places himself beside Yoongi while his mom still sits with a boring face plastered on her face.

Mr. Jung reached out his hands to pat Yoongi’s shoulder as he formed a big gummy smile as the greeting.

“Aayy… Don’t be so nervous and formal, sugar!” Hoseok and his mom rolled their eyes boringly while Yoongi, politely showing his pearl-like teeth and bowed slightly.

“Whaaat? I’m here being friendly?” Mr. Jung defended after noticing the disregarded look he got from his son and wife.

“How are you now? Better? You looked horrible before, but seem that you’re a lot better than before.” Mr. Jung asked casually. Yoongi bit his lower-lips nervously. Looking for help, he secretly stealing glanced to Hoseok’s mom in hope she catched the signal. Hoseok sure sensed something was weird,  but what?

Got the signal, she stood up and pulled his husband in clingy way.

“Honey, help me served the snack please?” She said sweetly. Hoseok had to roll his eyes in disbelief. His parents are already old enough to stop on doing this, really. Beside him, Yoongi released a relief sigh. Well, let's hope this boyfriend of him notice nothing suspicious.

“Yoongi, take a good rest okay? Don't let your fatigue consumed you. I don't like seeing you a...AW!” Mr. Jung looked at his wife with furrowed eyebrow. Without getting a chance to continue, he was being pulled along.

Surely Yoongi sighed too soon, and there was a really small chance to get away from this one. Because even right now, without even looking, he could tell the piercing gaze beside him, that directed especially to him, was Hoseok’s.

The nervousness was unbearable. He chose to push his hopeless luck by trying to be innocent by throwing clueless smile and awkwardly turned around. The main word is trying. Hoseok wouldn't buy his crappy acting.

“Let—”

“Was I missing something important, hmm?” Hoseok quickly interjected. Folding his arms, he shot a serious and questioning gaze directly. Adding up the tense and yeah, Hoseok did look intimidating now. At least in Yoongi’s eyes.

There was a brief twitch on Yoongi’s face, but it was so quick that Hoseok didn't notice, fortunately. His usual face slipped as quick as he twitch.

“Nah,” he said casually with a short chuckle, more to calm his nerves. “I don't think so. What would be important anyway? And why did you think that?” Actually his words were a bit a mess and rash but, he did his best.

“I don't know, maybe because my father said something like ‘rest well’ which he didn't usually say randomly.” His eyes was bored, and yeah he was tired of all the effort his boyfriend make to deceive him.

“Ah that. Maybe it was because your dad also notice that I become thinner and paler, who knows?” Yoongi was getting steadier, “you and your mom also said the same thing right?” His voice and face were composed. He shrugged his shoulder as if nothing matters. Sometime he did way too good on lying and it made him ashamed of himself. But darn! All his lies were white lies… no?

“Are you sure?” Despite the frowned on Hoseok’s forehead was getting deeper, despite the confused in his eyes, despite the skeptical looked he gave, despite the cheap lies Yoongi gave, despite all of that, Hoseok was starting to gave in. And Yoongi knew that the best.

Just one or two pushes and bam! He would be saved from all his lies.

“You worried too much, you know? I’m okay. As you see now, I’m perfectly fine.” Yoongi said with convincing smile, “don’t frown too much. It doesn’t fit you” he said as he patted the younger forehead softly.

“Snack is ready! Come here, you two!”  Mrs. Jung shouted, interrupting the two boys’ conversation.

‘Saved by Mrs. Jung… I guess’ Yoongi thought to himself.

‘Something is definitely wrong’ Hoseok thought to himself.

But despite that,  they both walk heading to the dining room as Hoseok shouts ‘coming!’

---

 

Yoongi had his laying on the edge of bed while wandered his eyes around. The silence was unusual. The ball of talking was usually talked nonstop. He finally landed his eyes to Hoseok. From his silent behaviour right now, he thought that maybe his earlier lies didn't buy him even a bit. He still deemed that Yoongi hid something.

He sighed internally. He felt bad for not telling him. He knew sooner or later Hoesok would notice this damned tumor and would know the truth laid behind all of his body. He knew that best. But he just couldn't tell him. The hype ball in front of him was a total worrywart and seeing him worry would put Yoongi in unease.

Just see now, today was supposed to be a happy day. Like hell they were finally meeting each other in flesh after a long time. And not just them but so he and his parents, his friends, and his whatsoever. But now he upset because of, again, him, Yoongi.

He stood up from his place and walked toward Hoseok. Yoongi patted his shoulder to gain his attention and said,

“Hey, where’s my key? I need to go home. I can’t leave my brothers alone for so long.” He said softly.

“Wait, I’m going with you.” Hoseok replied back.

“Err, how about your parent? I mean they miss you so much you know. Don’t you need to accompany them?”

“I’m going back tomorrow, it’s okay” Hoseok still gave the bag his full attention.

“No, it’s not.” He replied sternly, “After all, what’s so wrong about me driving myself to the house?” Yoongi asked in the desperate tones.

“I’m worried about you Yoongi-ah…” Hoseok said as desperate as Yoongi. He even looked up to meet Yoongi’s eyes to emphasize his worry. Closing his eyes, he turned around and start fiddling with his bag again.

“Just… I’ll be back to my house this night, after I send you home.” See? Even without Yoongi telling him what was actually happened, Hoseok already worried thus much toward him.

“Then by what will you go back?”

“I don’t mind taking bus” Yoongi sighed at the younger’s answer.

“Just go with my car. It’s okay. You can give it back to me tomorrow.” Yoongi ended their argument and Hoseok nodded.

---

Due to the fact that Yoongi’s little brothers were alone at home, and they were small enough to be concerned, Yoongi and Hoseok decided to head off right away. While Hoseok started the engine and drove, Yoongi called his two brothers about him heading there. After the small talk, Yoongi decided to take a brief rest by resting his head on headrest.

He thought that he could take his mind to a short rest. But seemed it didn't what his body planned. Out of the blue, he sensed something started to get wrong. His breath was getting shorter and shorter, it completely felt like his lungs were getting forcefully pressed by his own ribcage, or the other way around. The point is, he was currently having a hard time to breathe.

Please not now

But then the second he took a breath, it sounded like hitches. And damn, it clearly unavoidable to Hoseok’s ears. Hoseok turns his head hastily to the elder. Looking up his state, he quickly parked the car to the nearest sideway.

“What's wrong?” His attention was full to Yoongi but he failed to comprehend as to where should he place his hands. And not even a single hint to help him grasp the situation now. He only randomly grabbed the elder’s hand and drew circle to soothe the elder.

On the other side, Yoongi, was none any better. His mind was busy on locating his memories.

What should he do in a case like this?

He was unmistakably believe he read that article somewhere before. Despite the panic person beside him that continuously asking and his panicked body and mind, he finally remember a way. While his sweaty hand shakingly found his way to the handle to lean back his seat, he closed his eyes and mouth and start breathing deeply through his nose. 2 seconds after, he would breathe out slowly through his mouth. Hoseok was calming down and so his breathing. His breathing pace was back to normal and there's a speck of relief building inside him.

The only matter now is,

“Are you okay?”

Yoongi cursed internally. He was in the worst place and time to get that symptoms. Giving his best, he just stated the truth right now. Inhaling a big amount of air, he answered,

“Mhm. I'm okay now.”

“What the hell did just happen?” His composed self was back as he could regain all his senses.

“I was… It just happened.” His words messed up due to the lack of preparation on lying.

“Min Yoongi.” The sound of it made Yoongi flinched slightly; it was strict and firm. Yoongi bit his lower lips nervously. I can’t tell him, I can’t. But I can’t lie to him as well.

“Uhhm…--“

“Don’t feed me with all of your s. There’s no ‘I’m okay’ that will be accepted from you again. I won’t believe you with those words.” Hoseok interjected Yoongi quite harshly. Yoongi knew that this might be time where Hoseok reached his limit. But he couldn't get any clue what should he say, in time like this. What excuse would be reasonable enough?

Hoseok’s anger was building up each second wasted when Yoongi was thinking. Still not getting any ing word from Yoongi’s lips, he snapped,

“ this!” He banged his hands to the steering wheel in front of him. Yoongi flinched at the sudden sound and grimacing when the thought of Hoseok’s poor palms crossed his mind.

They sat there quietly. An awkward, no, eerie for Yoongi, silence engulfed him. Not to mention the feeling of thick tension were all around them. Yoongi daren't to say a thing. He was partially sure it would only add fire to… Fire. Or more like gasoline to fire. He fidgeted his fingers that started to seem more intriguing.

Hoseok on the other hand was having complicated will. On the other side, he wanted Yoongi to just tell the hell what was wrong. But on the other, he knew anything Yoongi said would only irritate him more. He was starting to lose believe on anything the boy beside him was spouting about.

He really needed to calm his mind. Or else anything happened now would be disaster for both of them. He took a deep breath and harshly let it out before he started to ride again.

I’m sorry… I’m sorry for making you upset. I’m sorry for lying to you.

Yoongi put his head down and bit his lips hardly to prevent him crying. At least, please, not in here.

---

Hoseok stopped the car right in front of Yoongi’s house. Not daring to move an inch, Yoong just sat there still in silence. He was so confused currently. Hoseok did say that he would be back at night, which practically meant that he would pay visit. But after all had happened, was Hoseok still wanted to pay a visit?

Hoseok was more or less the same. His heart was still raging in anger. His silence was a form of tantrum. It still irritated the younger that Yoongi didn't tell him even one ing thing.

Suddenly he heard the older muttered something. It almost sounded as thank you, but who knows? Hoseok stayed still, not moving, not even an inch. His aura showed that one single touch and he will be unfathomable bomb. You could sense ‘grit’ when you looked at him. His body seemed just holding everything.

Yoongi, due to the scared feeling engulfing him right now, decides to break the frozen ice between them. He moved a bit to open the door. As he grabbed the handle to open the door, Hoseok came across to prevent him doing so. The closeness between them made Yoongi’s heartbeat accelerated twice faster. Mostly because of the nervous.

Without moving from his current position, he looked directly to Yoongi. Their face was only a few centimeters apart. They could feel each other breath hitting rhythmically. Hoseok couldn't help but notice the shallow breathing Yoongi was having.

“You,” Hoseok broke the silence. His voice seemed to drop an octave lower. With the harsh voice, Yoongi’ nerves screaming danger. After a (seemingly) long gap, Hoseok continued, “really don’t wanna tell me what happened?

His voice was so dark and full of venom. Those menacing eyes that dig hole to Yoongi wasn't helping either. It successfully sent shiver through Yoongi’s spine. Completely.

Not hearing any single word surely boiled Hoseok’s even more.

Without any warning, Hoseok slammed his lips right to Yoongi’s. The latter widened his eyes and automatically his hand clutched the younger’s clothes, in reflect.

He was trying to push the younger away; he was clearly not on the prime state to accept any breath blocking, including kiss. On the other hand, getting rejection was not something acceptable to Hoseok’s state now. It angered him more than he already was. He pushed himself deeper and forced his tongue to get inside. Due to lack of air, Yoongi unconsciously opened his mouth and Hoseok’s tongue found its way. Yoongi could feel his face got heated and his sight hazed by white cloud. Hoseok finally let go but that was the last thing Yoongi could remember.

His started to lose his conscious not long after he closed his eyes.

---

Hoseok walked back and forth worriedly. He was damn panic but fortunately he was able to get his composed-self back. He almost went crazy when he saw Yoongi closed his eyes and not waking up. He was cursing a lot, as far as he could recall, and the first thing that crossed his mind was Kris and Chanyeol. They always helped him out, anyway.

Totting Yoongi inside the house, he knew he had to face a drill of Yoongi little brother’s questions. Jungkook and Taehyung, namely the little brother, were crying to see their unconscious brother and started babbling nonstop.

After laying the fainted body on his own bed, he called Yoongi’s friend, as he planned before. Kris was unexpectedly calm when he was told the news. Kris directed Hoseok to lay Yoongi on the bed and opened the window to let the fresh air filled his room.

He sat on the chair inside the room waiting the elder to come. He bit his lower lips and kept on bumping his knee in fast pace. The urge of banging his own head really crossed his mind. All his anger and his care were all the cause of this. If you were about to ask why did he kiss the elder, well simply it was because he just wanted to let out all his feelings but with a little bit of anger, boom! He made a terrible mistake.

Taehyung and Jungkook were unexpectedly stay in silence, and Hoseok appreciated that, by a lot.

“Taetae, what if he needed to go to the hospital again? I don't want to be left alone.” Jungkook whined to his elder brother. Hoseok perked up his ears to hear more. He never heard about this.

“I hope too, Jungkookie-ya… But I guess this is less scary than before.” Taehyung clasped his hand with Jungkook, supporting each other.

On the other hand, Hoseok frowned his forehead in confusion. But before he could ask any further, the doorbell rang.

---

Kris asked for Hoseok to follow him inside while Chanyeol waited on the outside with Jungkook and Taehyung. Inside, Kris practically did nothing that impelling. He was only checking Yoongi’s position mostly.

“Is he okay?” Out of concern, he asked the elder. Kris seemed to know everything and be casual over this event. Kris nodded without leaving his gaze to the unconscious boy in front of him.

“Is it usual for him to be in this state? I mean you and Chanyeol-hyung were being so familiar with this.” Kris kept silence. There were no sign of upset in his words, but inside he could feel a slight of irritation crossed his feeling. No matter what, it really felt like being left out for Hoseok.

“I have no right to answer deeper than ‘I'm his close friend’ really.” Kris said after a short gap, “i don't mean to upset you by that answer, though I believe that feeling would be inevitable. But really,” Kris turned his head to face Hoseok, “I really not in a place to answer that.”

This surely was suspicious.

And Hoseok needed to know that.

However, Hoseok knew that Kris really can't tell him behind this eventful moment, even if he wanted to. So instead of asking any further questions, he only nodded in understanding. And Kris really appreciated that.

---

Chanyeol and Kris finally decided to leave after the situation in the house was calmed down. Hoseok knew that neither Kris and Chanyeol were able to tell him a thing. But he knew too that Taehyung and Jungkook can spill one or two informations to him.

So with that belief, he got closer steps to the two little boys.

“Taetae, Jungkookie… “ he called them out. The two little heads turned around and those big doe eyes were looking the elder. Gaining the attention he wanted, Hoseok crouching in front of them.

“Did Yoongi really got hospitalized and in a worse state before this?” The two boys looked to each other and then nodded.

“Do you know why he got hospitalized?” They took a brief moment before they shook their heads. Hoseok only nodded in understanding and ruffled their head affectionately.

---

“Chanyeol hyung, earlier, Hoseok hyung was asking us about why Yoongi hyung got hospitalized, can we tell? “

“Do you guys tell him that Yoongi hyung was ever get hospitalized? “

Taehyung and Jungkook furrowed their forehead and bulged out their eyes slightly.

“I said… “ Taehyung said weakly. He didn't know that he should shouldn't tell.

“It's fine. If he asked again, just said that you guys didn't know the detail as to why Yoongi hyung got hospitalized, mkay?” They both nodded simultaneously.

Soon the door was opened, revealing Kris and Hoseok.

---

Hoseok closed the door behind him ever so silently. He let his foot walked him to the laying figure on the bed. He sighed desperately. He really hated this situation. Situation where he saw, he knew something was wrong but he could do nothing. He knew nothing when he was in a position where he was supposed to know the best. It frustrated the hell outta him.

He pulled the chair beside the bed and sat. Yoongi was pale, and paler than before. His breath was short and in a fast tempo. Surely the sight was heartbreaking for Hoseok to see. He reached out his hand, caressing Yoongi’s soft lock. He smiled a bit when Yoongi scrunched his nose. Despite the odd breathing, Yoongi looked so peaceful when sleeping.

“I'm sorry… Hyung,” Hoseok muttered as he moved his hand from hair to hand. He played Yoongi’s fingers and it, oddly, lulled him to sleep. And so he fell asleep.

---

Yoongi’s eyes fluttered opened. A familiar ceiling was the first thing his eyes caught. He still felt a little be dizzy, but the air right now really made him a whole lot better. His brain quickly registered about what happened. He blushed slightly remembering the incident. That was freaking embarrassing for him. And ever more, he needed to explain why he passed out. Suddenly he felt so restless about this whole secret he kept.

He turned around (just because) and saw Hoseok was sleeping in his seat. He got shocked for a moment but smiled the second after. He could feel the stinging sensation behind his back he arched his body a bit to reduce the pain, but nothing actually change. His face showed a total pain he was having. He held his breath unconsciously. When he got the perfect position, the least painful position, he closed his eyes and felt the pain gradually subdued.

The guilty inside him was unbearable. Somehow Yoongi had this belief where he couldn't be a proper boyfriend for Hoseok. He couldn't share a kiss (longer ones), and hell! Forget about the other, deeper, things. His face warmed up at the thought.

“Hobi, wake up, sleep here.” Yoongi pulled the younger’s t-shirt weakly. The said man just hummed as response.

“Hobii, move up.” Yoongi whined softly. With his half-lidded eyes, Hoseok woke up and slept beside Yoongi. They both faced each other and smiled foolishly.

Secretly, Yoongi moved forward and gave soft peck to the other boy. Hoseok’s smile got wider and Yoongi let out a chuckle.

“Sleepyhead, wake up.” He whispered softly. Hoseok still closed his eyes.

“Another kiss and wake up, deal?” Hoseok frowned, showing that he was considering the offer. After a moment, he showed his two fingers. Yoongi chuckled again.

“Okay, how about I'll give you three,” Hoseok opened his eyes immediately, acting like a child anticipating his candies, “but you'll have to massage my back cause it's hella aching.” Yoongi had to surpassed his smile when Hoseok’s face fell.

“Deal.” Finally he let out his weak, hoarse voice.

---

“Upper… slightly right… ah! Ah! There!...” Hoseok just did the elder’s plea obediently while chuckling. Yeah Hoseok got his price he had to do his job. Yoongi now sleeping on his tummy while Hoseok massaging him on the side.

“Yoongi…” Hoseok muttered slowly after a short silence between them.

“Mhm?” Yoongi responded lazily.

“I'm sorry.”

“For wha— Ah…”

“I'm —”

“Don't!” Yoongi interjected quickly. He could feel his face heated, “don't apologize, really.” His voice was muffled by pillow. They both laughing softly at the end. It was an awkward mistake after all.

“Really forget it. I mean it was partially my fault too so… “ Yoongi now felt his muscle and bone all better, he laid on his back again, and so Hoseok.

“Now, Yoongi.”

“Hmm?”

“You got hospitalized, don't you?” Yoongi got tensed up.

. Where did he get that? Yoongi cursed internally. So what do he do now? Another lie? But from what it sounded, Hoseok knew that already.

“You seem troubled…” Hoseok stated the obvious, “let me change the question then,” he said as he turned his head directly toward Yoongi, “why did you get hospitalized?”

“I got sick.. That is” Yoongi mumbled uncertainly.

“Here we go Mr. Obvious.” Hoseok totally unsatisfied on the answer. But there's still no answer from the elder. The anger that he kept, found its way to build another wrath.

Hoseok closed his eyes to hold it all up. He took a deep breath and  released it harshly. He sat up and Yoongi copied it. They were reluctant to face each other. One due to guilty and one due to anger. Yoongi knew how depressed Hoseok was, but he just couldn't take risks. He really didn't think telling the younger would change a thing and worse, it would troubled him.

“Why?” Hoseok cracked the silence, “Why are you so persistent on not telling me?” Yoongi kept on his silence.

“I guess even Kris hyung and Chanyeol hyung knew better than me.” Hoseok sighed again, as he stood up, “so exactly what am I to you?” He said and scoffed at the taste of his own words. Still not hearing any response from Yoongi, he chose to leave the room.

Yoongi sat there, still well-planted on the side of bed. He daren't to move, not even an inch. He knew, any answer he gave would only made the situation worse. Because he won't tell the answer that Hoseok want.

Yoongi threw his body on the bed effortlessly. He grabbed a pillow and muffled his desperate scream with it. Slowly, tears were trailing on Yoongi’s cheek, and he didn't try to stop it. It was so frustrating, and crying and screaming healed everything.

After calming down, he decided to get down. He really needed a distractor, anything. Or else he would most likely spend his night by wallowing on his own guilty.

“Taetae, Jungkookie… “ Yoongi called out. The two said boys ran their legs to Yoongi. At time like this, spending time by spoiling them was the best choice for Yoongi.

---

It was 10p.m and the boys had finally asleep. Yoongi head to his own room. He checked his phone and saw 2 miscalls and 2 messages.

Hoseok:

I'm arrived, I used a bus and the key is on top of the table.

Kris:

How's you? Are you okay? Chanyeol said that Taetae told Hoseok that you got hospitalized. Hmu.

And the two miscalls were all from Kris. He knew that Hoseok probably still angry with him and he can't blame him for it.

Yoongi really needed someone to talk to. And so he decided to call Kris. He folded his knees upto his chest and tapped the numbers he knew by heart. The ring came out, indicating it came across and so he waited the other line to pick up

“Yoongi, hey, how are you?” Deep voice greeted him.

“Kris, what should I do? And I'm fine, by the way.”

“It's a good thing right?”

“Where the hell is the good thing?” Yoongi heard Kris sighed.

“Yoongi, you really need to tell Hoseok what is laying behind your lung.

"A big no, hyung." Yoongi heard desperate sigh from across the line. He bit his lower-lips nervously.

"What is your reason not to tell Hoseok, I mean, it won't bother him that much, believe me."

"For how many times I should tell you this, hyung? First, it will bother him. Second, I don't want to him feel pressured when he wants to break up with me; well, if he knew it, it would be hard when he wanted to break up because of guilty and sorry feeling. Third, it will make him feel like uncaring person, when actually he isn't, if he found it and could do nothing. And fourth, I don't want to lose him yet." Yoongi blabbered. Those reasons were already plastered on his brain and he remembered it like we all know our hair will get shorter if we cut it. And it wasn't their first time doing this conversation, if anything, this was their daily conversation.

"Okay then here again my answer, “ Kris said in unwavering tone. Same as Yoongi, his answers were all sticked on his brain and heart. “It won't bother him, because he hella loves you a lot. And no, he won't break up with you, hell! It's not like you'll die any sooner. Yes, he will feel like one, so please, tell him sooner, so at least he can make you happy. No, you won't lose him Yoongi. Hell! He loves you from the deepest of his lung. And don't use I want him to success his dream kind of reason, because as long as I remember it was your reason when I told you to tell Hoseok but it was so happen that he will go soon that time. And considering on he is already free, you should tell him." The man lets out an exaggerated sigh when he finished his sentence. Yoongi, on the other hand, is feeling hubbub shuddered him. Well those reasons were obviously right. He didn't doubt Hoseok's love. He just denied it. Because he scared, yes scared that Hoseok will sad if he found there's frigging shadow on Yoongi's lung’s x-ray.

"Well, you really think that it is the right, no, perfect time to tell him? I mean, he just finished his... school? For the lack of greater word, and I wasn't supposed to ruin it right?"

"It definitely, obviously, clearly, unmistakably is the perfect time. Okay? Go tell him and explain everything. And you won't ruin it, go." the deep-voiced man eagerly, almost forcefully, said. Well it wasn't like he hated hearing Yoongi's insecurities, he was just overjoying about how Yoongi finally can tell the truth.

Yoongi's insecurities was decreasing each time the man in the other line voiced out his motivating words.

"Thank you, Kris-hyung, for everything"

"Now it sounded like so much melancholy" Kris said as he huffed.

"And you ruined it" Yoongi replied back, sounded nonchalantly.

They laughed and ended their conversation by bid their goodbyes to each other. Yoongi put his phone down and thought to himself what should he do. Yes, there wasn't any reason for Yoongi to feel guilty about telling Hoseok, since Hoseok already finished his study. And yes, he knew Hoseok loved him so much so there was no need to worry about Hoseok will leave him. But if Hoseok loved him that much wouldn't it worry Hoseok so much too?

Yoongi messed his hair frantically.

Should he keep this secret, or tell it?

And so he thought and thought about it until he fell asleep. At least he fell asleep with a determination that he already chose. And he had to do that tomorrow. He gonna tell Hoseok everything, everything.

---