Vengeance|Chapter 3

Bom’s party took place in the bar that she owned, the Azul, it flashes on different colors of neon lights and just from the outside you’ll already hear the heavy thumping beats of the music.

“You ready?” Dara asked me as she shut down the car’s engine.

“Yeah.” I said, as I looked at the bar and at the group of people that were going in and out. “Let’s go?” Going out of the door, I walked slowly but confidently as I didn’t leave my gaze at the entrance.

What am I going to do if I see him? I thought, as I felt a sudden twinge of edginess at my chest at the thought of seeing him again, feeling Dara beside me, I took a deep breath and kept my composure. ‘You can do this Lee Chae Rin.’

“Just continue on what you’re doing! You’re good.” she said, smiling genuinely at me, as if feeling my anxiety, before I entered myself into the pandemonium that I made.

“Lee Chae Rin?!” Bom cried out as soon as she saw me, well, add to the fact the she really needs to shout ‘cause where in a bar.

“No other!” I said, as I gave her a hug.

Park Bom is a friend of mine since high school, and as for Dara, they met in her club when Dara and her friends went in Azul before and frankly, I seriously don’t know how they ended up being close.

“You look striking!” she gladly said, looking at me earnestly.

“Thank you!” I said, giving back the same emotion “Happy Birthday!”

“Happy Birthday!” Dara said, giving her also a hug.

“Thank you Dara-yah! Do you want some cocktails?”

“Oh! Later!” Dara said “I’ll just go around for a moment!” smiling at her “Oh! And take care of my cousin!” she added before going and getting herself lost in the crowd.

“Seriously, I didn’t expect that you’ll be coming. I haven’t seen you for years! So how have you been doing?”

“Getting myself rich!” I said cheerfully, like I am not going through something excruciating, but in some ways, my statement was true.

 “So that explains why you look like a million dollar baby!” she said, laughing “But really…” her tone changing to a serious but gentle one “I missed you.”

“I… missed you too.” I said, forcing a smile “That’s why I came right?!” suddenly trying to get the happy mood back.

“Well, I know that you don’t want to talk about it, but… I’m sure the others will be happy to see you, especially Minji!”

“I’m sure of that!” I said, getting back my equanimity once again when unexpectedly, I heard a familiar voice.

“Bom-ah!” the guy said, hugging her “Happy Birthday!”

“Thank you!”

“Chae Rin-ah.” he said, as he laid his eyes on me for the first time… again. There he was, in front of me, and there was still something in the way my name rolls in his tongue that sends a wave of chills down my spine. Then suddenly, it was just like me and him again, the thumping music gone, the crowd of people gone, everything, just me and him… again.

 I tried to fight back the swarm of nostalgia that surrounded me and exultantly gained my sagacity.

“Kris.” I said, smiling enthrallingly at him. For the first time in years, I didn’t expect that I’ll be able to say his name again… and that I’ve been able to say that without breaking down.

“It was nice to see you again.” he said, smiling back at me, that smile that was always meant for me and never fails to make my heart soften “And… you’re dazzling.”

“Same here.” I said “And thank you.” then out of the blue, a girl came, linking her arms with his and turned her attention to Bom.

“Hello Bom.” she said “Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks.” she replied, forcing a smile.

“Uhm…” Kris started, clearing his throat “Chae Rin-ah… this is Jessica, my… girlfriend.”

“Hello.” I said, forcing a captivating smile and looking at the girl for the first time. So there she was, standing in front of me, the very reason why the guy that I loved the most left me.

“Jessica, she’s Chae Rin.”

“Hi.” she minimally said, looking at me from head to toe then back, giving me a fake smile, and that was just exactly the trigger that I needed, within a couple of seconds, all the hatred that was buried down by the sorrow and pain just rose up inside of me, then swiftly, what I was feeling changed, the apprehension, the reminiscence, gone… all gone… it was all altered into hatred, repugnance and the need for revenge.

“It’s nice to finally meet the girl that the guy that I loved…” I said, looking at Kris Wu straight in the eye and enunciating every word venomously “so much, the guy that I was willing to give everything, left me for.” adding a vindictive smile for the both of them and turning my attention at Bom who was watching the scene in full astonishment.

“Why don’t you show me around Bomi-yah? I think I have a lot of catching up to do, don’t I?” I said, as I turned my back and gave both of them a spiteful glance.

“Chae Rin-aaaaaaah!” Minji exclaimed as expected, as soon as she saw me.

Gong Minji is also my friend since high school, together with Bom, and now there are four of us, together with my cousin, Dara.

“Oh my God, look at you!” she said, as she scanned me from top to bottom “You’re gorgeous!”

“Everyone’s been saying that since I got here!” I said “I’m drowning in praises already!”

“Oh you deserve them!” Minji said.

“Right.” Bom agreed.

“So, how are you?” Minji asked me.

“I’m fine. All fine.” I said reassuringly, when I know, that what I said is a huge lie.

“She was busy making herself rich that’s why she didn’t even bother to call us!” Bom said.

“Look, I’m sorry, I promise to make it up to you, guys.”

“We’re girls.” Minji said.

“Oh whatever!” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“Hey!” Dara said, suddenly emerging out of nowhere “I found a good place.” eyeing me skeptically “Shall we? And Bomie! I’m hungry already!” adding a childlike smile.

Following her, I found out why she said that she found a good place and why she was eyeing me hesitantly, for the table that she had chosen was the table next to Kris and her y girlfriend. I don’t know why but at that time, I felt a pang of happiness emerge from me, and by the time that we sat there, with me just a few inches away from him, that was unerringly when it all started.

“You sure you ok here?” Minji whispered at me.

“Yeah.” I answered coolly. ‘This is exactly what I just wanted.’ I thought.

“Okay.” she said, nodding skeptically.

“Bomie- yah!” Dara said “Where’s the food?”

“You wait. I already asked for some.” Bom replied, and just after saying it, came in a waiter bringing luscious dishes.

“Thank you.” she said. “Dara- yah, here they are.”

“Thank you Bomie.” Dara replied, already preparing to eat.

“Why don’t we join the other table here and share the food with them.” I suggested, surprising them all, and loud enough for Kris, her y girlfriend, and their friends that a few I knew, hear me. “Besides, Kris is a friend also.” looking at Kris who was already staring at me, his expression confounded “Right?” giving him a smile. “I don’t see anything wrong with my suggestion anyways.”

“Uh… su…sure!” Bom said, failing to force a smile to hide her surprise.

“What about the table here?” I said, glancing at the other table’s occupants, Kris, her y girlfriend, Jessica, and two other girls that I don’t know, Kris’s friends, Tao, Sehun, Kai, and Chanyeol.

“Sure!” his friends replied instead.

So there it was, two tables joined, and our sitting arrangement changing a little, on my left was Minji, on my right was Kris, her girlfriend, the two other girls that I learned the name were Tiffany and Yoona, then sitting in front of us from the left were Tao, Sehun, Chanyeol, Dara and Bom.

“We haven’t seen you for years!” Chanyeol said cheerfully “How are you Chae Rin?”

“I’m absolutely fine!” I answered, trying to reflect the same emotion that he was emanating. “What about you Kris? How are you doing since we broke up?” making them all quiet in surprise.

“I was fine.” he said, forcing a smile.

“Oh come on!” I said, breaking the discomfiture that hung in the air “It was two years ago! It would be just ok to talk about it right? If it’s just ok with your girlfriend here!” looking at her.

“Yeah, of course.” she said, but I was sure that it wasn’t alright with her, even if I was in her place, it wouldn’t be also ok for me, but that was exactly what I wanted her to feel, I wanted her to feel goaded.

“So it’s settled then, there’s no problem, so obviously, you two are going strong?” I said, sounding curious, but deep inside me, I was suddenly feeling aggravated, there they were, two years of getting their relationship strong while I, in a painful turmoil.

“Chae Rin…” he said hesitantly, barely a whisper “We really don’t have to talk about this.”

“Why not? I just wanted to know how you have been doing since the last two years, there’s nothing wrong with that!”

“There is something wrong with that.” he replied, leaning forward  and looking at me straight in the eye “I don’t know what you’re up to Lee Chae Rin, but I think I’m not gonna like it.”

“I’m not up to something.” I said lying and reflecting back the stiff emotion that he was giving me, it’s a good thing that by that time, the others had already lost themselves in their own conversations, leaving Kris and I, alone.

“I don’t know how you are doing for the past two years but please let’s not talk about it anymore. The past is in the past Chae Rin-ah. If you still hadn’t moved on then move on. Please. Please leave me and Jessica alone.” and with that said, he turned his back on me and laid all his attention to his girlfriend, leaving me staring at the ground.

From the way his tone changed from a cold one to a pleading one when he said to me to leave them alone, I felt a pang of jealousy rose inside of me making me even more provoked. I don’t know how Jessica did it but it seems like alluring Kris Wu was harder than I thought, especially when he hasn’t this kind of special feelings for you. It was like Jessica is the center of his world now, and I’m nothing but an interloper.

Grabbing a glass of wine from the table, I swallowed all of its contents straightly, without noticing that I was gripping at the glass toughly, almost causing it to break, but I didn’t care, I felt so ashamed about how the way he treated me, until Minji’s voice drifted in my ears.

“Wanna go out?” she whispered at me.

For the first time, I found myself suffocating, and immediately, I was finding a need for fresh air.

“Sure.” I replied. We stood up and prepared to leave, saying to Bom and Dara that we’re just going to get some fresh air and that we’ll be back within a couple of minutes and before we let ourselves get drowned in the midst of the people’s revelry, I looked at him again, but only got myself more thwarted when I saw that he’s still busy with that girl of his, completely oblivious from the other people surrounding him.

Standing in the balcony and hearing the faint thumping of the music from the inside, I breathed in the warm breeze of Seoul fleeting through us.

“Let me get this straight.” Minji said plainly, causing me to look at her and gain my attention. “I know what you are doing Lee Chae Rin.”

“What do you mean?” I said, giving her a confused expression.

“You’re trying to get back, aren’t you?” she said, looking at me straight in the eye, and before I could answer back, she already continued “You still haven’t moved on, after all these years, and now you’re trying to get even with him, I don’t know what plans you’ve got, but I’m telling you to stop this.”

“So I’ll also get this straight.” I said, moving closer to her, then I let it all explode. “Yes. I still haven’t moved on, and yes, I’m trying to get back! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH SO DON’T TELL ME TO STOP THIS! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MESS HE MADE OUT OF ME! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HE RUINED MY LIFE! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HURT I WAS! UNTIL NOW! AND YOU DON’T KNOW HOW AGGRAVATED I AM SEEING HIM WITH THAT Y GIRLFRIEND OF HIS! THAT VERY GIRL THAT HE LEFT ME FOR! WITH ALL THAT ATTENTION HE WAS GIVING HER AND ALL! AND HOW HE TREATED ME LIKE I WAS JUST A SIMPLE PART OF HIS STUPID PAST! HOW HE TOLD ME TO LEAVE THEM ALONE! I HATE IT ALL! I’M DONE LOCKING MYSELF UP WITH THAT STUPID SOLITARY WORLD OF MINE! I WANT TO GET BACK, GONG MINJI! I WANT HIM TO SUFFER THE WAY I’M SUFFERING NOW! I WANT HIM TO FEEL THE PAIN THAT I AM FEELING NOW! AND WHEN I HAVE DONE IT ALL SUCCESSFULLY, THAT’S THE TIME THAT I’M GOING TO SAY THAT I HAVE REALLY MOVED ON! WHEN HE’S BROKEN APART INTO PIECES, THAT’S WHEN I’LL LEAVE HIM ALONE!”

“And you think you can really do all that?! Have you even thought of the possible consequences of your actions?! What if everything doesn’t go well with your plan?! What if everything backfires on you?! You can’t turn back time Chae Rin-ah! If everything goes wrong, you won’t know if you’ll still have the chance to make them right again! Stop this before you hurt someone! Before you hurt your very own self!”

“I’m already damaged inside out!” I replied, feeling my chest ache in pain again. “And don’t worry! I won’t put you in this mess!”

“I’m not talking about me Lee Chae Rin! I’m talking about the other people that might get involved with this stupid revenge of yours!”

“To you this is stupid but for me it isn’t! I already made my decision! I’ll do this!”

“Lee Chae Rin! Just… just move on peacefully. We’re here. We’ll help you go through this.”

“No.” I said, shaking my head “No. I’ve had enough. This is just… too much Minji-ah. I just want to make him suffer the way I did. That’s all. I won’t let anyone get involved with this.”

“Seems like there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. I’m just worrying about you. If you say that you’re already damaged inside out, I’m afraid that in the future, you won’t be just damaged, but rotten inside out.”

‘But rotten inside out.’ Her words echoed in my mind that I wasn’t able to say something back; I was staring into void thinking about what she said that I did not notice that she was already on her way back inside the club, until her voice pulled me out of my abstraction.

“Chae Rin-ah.” she said, stopping for a while in her tracks to face me again, with her eyes looking at me sincerely “Just remember that I warned you. And… and please think about this again. We love you Chae Rin-ah. We hate seeing you like this, and we’ll hate it even more to see that you can’t be whole again, and that we can’t do anything anymore about it.” and with that she turned her back at me until she drifted away from my view, leaving  me staring into the gloomy night sky, with the stars twinkling remorsefully at me.

I stayed like that for a couple of minutes, watching the city lights from my view, thinking about what Minji said, when a voice spoke behind me.

“So you’re just here, to think that I’ve spent 5 minutes on finding you.”

Turning around, I saw the voice’s owner and said “Jessica.”

“Chae Rin.”

“What do you want?” I said, as she advanced toward me.

“What do I want?” she asked in a sarcastic tone. “Maybe I should be the one asking you that. What do you want from MY BOYFRIEND?”

“YOUR BOYFRIEND?” I said, smirking. “To think that YOU have just STOLEN YOUR BOYFRIEND away FROM ME!”

“And now you want to get him back? Is that what you’re doing?” she said, stopping in front of me.

“And what if yes?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t you dare…”

“Dare what?! I was just getting back what used to be mine! Now if you would excuse me, I don’t want to waste my time talking to a little piece of like you.” I said as venomously as I could and started to walk away from her when she suddenly grabbed my arm, her nasty, red nails digging into my skin.

“I love him so much Chae Rin-ah, and I’ve worked so hard to get him away from you, of course I’m not a fool to let you have him back, we’re happy for the last two years, and I won’t let you ruin it.

“The way you ruined us?!” I said, jerking my arm from her and eyed her cruelly “I’m also not a fool to let you keep him.” and in a blink of an eye, her hand came flying towards me, it was a good thing that I have good reflexes and I was able to hold her arm instantaneously before it landed with a hard slap on my face. I was about to speak again when a voice stopped me.

“Jessica, what are you doing?” Kris said, as he suddenly emerged behind her and started to walk towards us, while I let go callously of Jessica’s arm.

“How long have you been there?” Jessica said, her tone in alarm.

“Long enough to know that you were trying to hit her, what were you thinking, Jessica?!”

“I… I…” she stuttered, not knowing what to say, when I grabbed this chance to have Kris’ attention on me.

“I was just here alone when she came and said rude things at me.” I said, trying to sound pathetic as I could “Then she tried to slap me, she even grabbed my arm and dug her nails into it. See? It’s bleeding.” I said, showing him the bleeding four small cuts where her nails hollowed out in my arm that her ty girlfriend grabbed, and that really got his attention, in a second, he was already by my side, holding my arm and taking a look at them.

“I’m sorry about this Chae Rin-ah, I’m going to make sure that this won’t happen again. I’m going to tell your friends that you’re here to fetch you, I’m sorry but I need to go. Take care Chae Rin-ah.” and with that said, he let go of my arm and turned to face Jessica, who was glaring at me viciously. “We need to go Jessica… and talk.” he said to her then they’re gone.

Maybe if Jessica didn’t came there and talked to me that way, maybe if I was just left alone the entire time there, on Azul’s balcony, thinking about what Minji said, then maybe I could have changed my mind, but no, Jessica came, and through her, I earned Kris’ attention again, his concern for me, even just for a couple of seconds, and I thought that if I have done it, then I could do it again, but… if it really didn’t happen, then maybe I wouldn’t be rotten now inside out, just like what Minji said.