Notes From Reviewer

Title (9/10)

I definitely think that this is a good title for the story. After reading the story I see where it comes from, and it makes sense. However, I think that its  not embedded enough as a motif within the story. Its so much more than an advanced form of teasing, maybe in the beginning it was a game, but it becomes so much more, and unfortunately your title doesn't encapsulate that. It is a title that would grab viewers attention and draw curiosity to your story which is what you want.  

Description & Foreword (15/20)

Description is short and sweet, excerpt should probably be part of description in my opinon and maybe think about re-writing it, rather than just pasting your chapter in there. True, its to start off the story for those who might not want to subscribe yet, but I feel like if could be better if you give a more detailed overview. For me, foreword is supposed to be the author talking to the readers only, its only minor thing though. 

Originality (7/10)

Kinda reminds me of coffee prince but with a twist, which is certainly interesting. There were plot twists here and there, and it was nice to see them work through their problems, but they are very normal problems in terms of fanfiction problems. So it was too unpredictable, but there was certainly some nice plot changes. 

Story Line (17/20)

To me, it felt like it dragged on for a little too long, in terms of their fights and what not. Passion seemed to consume them all the time, but their own pride held them back from making up, which reflects a lot on reality actually. Unfortunately, it felt like they were always arguing about the same thing throughout the story, which is Kai not opening up and Sehun being frustrated about it. So it got a little repetitive after a while. 

Baekhyun's problems with Chanyeol also seemed to reflect Sehun's problem and when Baekhyun gave Sehun advice it seemed so ironic which was nice. However, there wasn't any real point for me to really know Baekhyun and Chanyeol's love life because it was quite intertwined enough. Especially the cameo from Kris and Tao, that was even more random, to me, everything needs to be a connected, and them being friends and giving advice is a meh connection. You could do better by networking the friends together. The bond between other member (Kai's side), was not clearly defined enough to warrant their cameo I feel. 

Don't get me wrong though, I enjoyed their cameos especially nowdays, not that many people want to write about the M side of EXO which makes me a little sad, so kudos for writing about them :)

Grammar and Spelling (9/10)

Pretty much perfect, a little weird with grammar and incomplete sentences here and there, but nothing that was terrible and disrupted the story. 

Characterization (10/10)

Both Sehun and Kai were explored deep enough, which I throughly enjoyed, even though the character themselves annoyed me a little at times, but that means that you're consistent with your mannerisms in the characters, and even if you didn't mean to embody them that way. It's good that you were able to elicit a annoyance response. Any response is better than none eh?

Flow (9/10)

Flow was good, nothing was particularly disruptive, I admit I read this a while ago, during exams and I merely haven't had time to write due to exams and work, but I'm pretty sure nothing was too extreme. To me, the only thing was that their fights were always the same, and it felt a little stretched out at times.

Personal Enjoyment (7/10)

I enjoyed the story, but didn't love it. Sure it was interesting, though is kinda my thing, gay is a little more meh. Don't love that stuff, though its written well. A little repetitive in the triggers and what not, but that's pretty normal. The constant repetitive fighting about the same thing annoyed me, so yeah, nothing you can raelly change there, its personal opnion. 

Good story overall, I think most people would enjoy your story. 

Overall (83/100)