I woke up at 6:21 am with swollen eyes and realized that I fell asleep in the lab. The whole table was a mess. I sighed deeply for I was tired with all the work these past few days. At some point, I think that I’m doing this whole “research” thing for nothing. There were still a few papers to be reviewed, and I’m not so certain on what page I trailed off. Confused, I stood up and prepped the table. Suddenly, something fell from the stack of books.

It was our family picture.

Well, I don’t really know if I should still consider ours as one…but deep inside, I know we were once considered a family.

I picked it up and placed it inside the drawer. I said to myself, “Too much thoughts will kill you, Ragi. C’mon, get your together.” and sighed deeply. The cold morning breeze made me shiver and sent chills to my tired body.

I found myself inside my bathroom, preparing for a fresh bath that I’m dying to take. As I rid myself of the worn out clothes suffocating my skin, the doorbell rang, disrupting  the culmination of my most awaited momentum and leaving me frustrated.  I rushed through my room and grabbed my soft pink robe inside the cabinet.

“And who the hell is this person visiting me so ing early in the morning?!” I cussed under my breath. I checked the small monitor right next to the door and found out that it was Watanabe. I pressed the microphone on.

“So what brings you here?” I asked.

“Uh, did you forget it?”

“Forget what?”

“You’ll be seeing Mr. Jung today, Ms. Ragi.”

“Oh my God.”

Dang, I forgot that I’ll be seeing Father today. And yeah, he doesn’t like it when I come late. I faced the monitor and told him to give me 20 minutes to prepare myself. I saw him nod at the screen and then I ran hurriedly upstairs to prepare myself.

Disappointed about the events earlier, I took a peek of the view outside the car window and let myself let go of such uncertainties. We passed by the Hangang River and saw the beautiful scenery at that time. But something puzzled me and I looked straightly at Watanabe.

“Why are we passing by the river? Isn’t it the other way around? Or did Father switch houses again?” I questioned him.

“No, I just changed the route for you. You look so stressed, my lady. A beautiful scenery might help you feel a bit relieved.” He answered.

I silently replied an “oh” at him. Sometimes, I don’t know if he’s just being sweet or if he’s just acting like a big brother to me, but I’d like our relationship to only be formal. Nothing more, nothing less.

We arrived at the penthouse before 8:00 am. I’m glad I made it on time…and, well, it’s all thanks to him. I hopped out of the car and almost tripped because of the heels I’m wearing. Footwear like these are totally out of my league, but I have to wear them because my Father loves to see me wear such “elegant” styles that ‘suit’ me well. Watanabe left the moment I started walking up the marble stairs.

With nervousness controlling my hands, I rang the doorbell which is at my right. I heard the familiar “ding dong” my Father always wanted to hear. A few moments later, a maid opened up the door for me and greeted me shyly. I smiled back at her and she accompanied me to Father’s lounge. As usual, some things were changed, just like the placement of the sofa and if I’m not mistaken, he bought a new television set again. I scanned the room and felt like it’s been a long time since I went here. A familiar voice got my attention and I paced quickly from where it came from.

 “Good morning, my dear lady,” Father greeted.

He was wearing a Giorgio Armani suit accompanied by a black tie and a pair of Martin Dingman suede black shoes, his favorite brands of men’s clothing line ever since. Moving on, we simply hugged and asked each other perhaps the most overused question in small talk: “How are you?” I told him that I was alright, that nothing much happened in my life. He didn’t forget to ask about the research though; luckily, I was about to finish it so I told him that it’s almost there.  But, there’s a question that struck me the most:

“So, how’s your condition?”

He asked, looking me straight in the eye.

“I’m absolutely doing fine.” I hissed.

“No trails of-“ I cut him off before he could manage to completely say what he was going to say and uttered, “Yes.”

“You should go to the doctor, Ragi. They won’t eat you, you know.”

“I’m sorry, Father. But no matter what happens, I won’t face any one of them.”

“You really are like him, as always. Well, if you insist to suffer then do so.”

My heart sunk deep inside. I knew all along that I was just afraid to confront it. I’m such a ing coward to face this horrible condition. Slowly, tears started to cloud my vision and I tried my best to stop them. I excused myself for a moment and went to the comfort room.

I looked at the huge fancy mirror, stared at myself and lurked into my thoughts. Seeing my reflection is a big no-no for me, even though I know that my facial features that I got from the genetical of my parents are admirable. Well, I could say I’m pretty but I definitely cannot say I’m beautiful. I mean, there’s a big difference between those two adjectives. I collected my thoughts, set off to go back and whispered some words of encouragement to myself as I unlock the door.

“Everything’s going to be alright.”

Tons of delicacies were served right in front of me as me and Father savored this lunch together after a year of not seeing each other. He still managed to ask some questions despite me managing to eat everything I could.

“So, how is school?”

“It’s fine, but it’s kinda boring.”

“Well, I’m proud that they hired you as their researcher. He might be happy for you.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t even get the point of doing it.”

“How about your class standings? Are you at the top or whatever they call it there?”

“I’m not stupid, alright. They won’t hire some pinheaded person to do a school research. Anyways, I’m proud to say I ranked 3^rd.”

“3^rd? I bet your Mother won’t love to hear that.”

Disappointed, I moved my head away and looked into the other direction, facing the huge glass window with the gentle gleam of the rays of light. I knew it all along that my Mother will never appreciate everything I do. I hate the fact that I always give my best but still, she demands so much more. I hate it so much up to the point that I wanted to disown her as my Mother. Cutting me off from my thoughts, Father started to converse with me again after the awkward silence.

“Tell me, what are your plans in the future?”

Blank. My head was blank. I don’t know what to answer because I myself am not so sure for what I really want in the future.

“Graduate high school, go to college and be someone that my course says so?” I lied.

“What more?” he persists.

“I don’t know.”

“As far as I’m concerned, my dear, you should  fix yourself up. You can’t say ‘I don’t know’ forever.”

My face is starting to react by itself but I don’t want to show my annoyance to my Father. I don’t want to ing spoil this moment.

“What are you implying, Father?” I said bluntly.

He looked me straight in the eye with a serious look on his face that made me feel all nervous.

“Well, it’s easy, my dear Ragi. If you can’t fix your on your own, then I’ll fix it for you.”

Watanabe came right on time and assisted me in hopping inside the car. He bowed to my Father and drove me away. I leaned my lifeless body over the window and surrendered myself to the calls of slumber. Slowly my eyes drifted, leaving all my thoughts, and that one thing I’ve been dying to know.

To know the meaning behind the words, ‘I’ll fix it for you.’

[Author's Note]

So we meet again! I'm so sorry for not updating for a long time! (I was so busy doing other stuff and exo is being so UGH) But here it is! Still quite boring though haha but I still gave some hints! I'll promise to update every other day because this story is quite long, so please stay tuned and comment me anything! Subscribing into my story is very very appreciated. Thanks again to my ever wonderful editor, Patrice. I also want to say thanks to the 1000+ views on the foreword and the first 2 chapters! ♥