‘What are you trying to say?’ Minwoo asks. His hands trembling. His face has turned pale. Donghyun’s eyes look harsh and distant.

‘I’m breaking up with you.’

Flashback:

Donghyun knocks on the door in front of him. Before he knows it the door is being opened. ‘Ah, Donghyun. Come on in.’ His homeroom teacher invites him. Donghyun follows him inside and takes a seat in front of his teacher.

‘I have very good news for you.’ His teacher says, with a big smile on his face. Donghyun looks at him with question marks in his eyes. The man gives him a big envelope. Donghyun takes it and starts opening it after his teacher gives him a nod of approval. He is surprised when he sees the Japanese kanji on the papers he pulls out.

‘You have been accepted to the Tokyo university of arts and music. Isn’t that great?’ His teacher asks, smiling brightly. Donghyun’s eyes widen in surprise. ‘Really?’

‘Yes, I already discussed with your parents about getting a scholarship. Because you told me you were concerned about the costs I did some research for you. With your grades and experience in the artistic field of music I think applying for a scholarship is indeed a good plan.’

‘Wow… that is… amazing.’ Donghyun says, a bit dazed. ‘What? Are you not happy?’ His homeroom teacher asks. He laughs when he doesn’t get a response. ‘Well, it was like a dream to get into the university but I guess dreams do come true. Just talk about it with your parents first. Give yourself some time to realize the fruits of your effort Donghyun ah.’ His teacher says, laughing.

~

Donghyun takes the first bite of his dinner. He watches how his parents eat in silence. Sometimes, his mother glances at him. Donghyun sighs, realizing he has to start the subject by himself.

Mom, dad, I heard I got accepted for the university. Why didn’t you tell me?’ He asks. Both his parents seem shocked by the sudden question.

‘We wanted you to receive the news from your teacher, dear.’ His mother says. Donghyun’s father nods. ‘We were really glad when we heard you could get a scholarship. I would’ve felt incredibly guilty if I hadn’t been able to send you off to a good university.’ He says.

‘But dad, is it really okay if I go to Tokyo?’ Donghyun asks. ‘Of course not dear!’ His mother interrupts. ‘It has been your dream to work with music in the future. I know we haven’t been supporting you well until now… but we were wrong. We didn’t know you were this talented.’ His mother admits. Donghyun smiles weakly. ‘Don’t sweat it, mom. It’s fine.’ He says. His mind becomes blank. He had expected this reaction from his parents but now the harder part is coming.

‘Mom, dad, maybe I should just go to a university in Seoul.’ He says. His parents seem shocked by his words. ‘Why?’ His   asks, totally confused. Instead of his mother, his father’s eyes light up in recognition. ‘Minwoo?’ He asks. Donghyun nods silently. His mother lets out an annoyed sigh. ‘Darling… this is a once in a lifetime chance. This is important.’ She says. ‘I agree with your mother, son. You should consider your own feelings but I think it is better if you go to Tokyo. I don’t know if this means breaking up because I don’t know about how strong your relationship is.’ His father explains. Donghyun nods again. He then shoves his place farther away and stands up. ‘I’m not hungry anymore. I need some time to think. Can I go first?’ He asks. His parents nod and Donghyun leaves the dining room.

 Only in bed he starts to realize what going to Tokyo really means. If he works hard his dream of doing music for his whole life may come true. But honestly, it is unbearable to know Minwoo is far away from him, doing things Donghyun doesn’t know about. Slowly becoming a different person as the two won’t see each other. He could even fall in love with another person! Donghyun would never be able to handle that kind of situation. He loves  Minwoo way too much for that. This is how he draws to a conclusion. 

End of flashback

‘Why so suddenly?’ Minwoo asks, looking at his boyfriend.

‘I am going to Tokyo. That’s why I think it is better if we break up.’ Donghyun says. Minwoo looks at him like he just heard the most ridiculous statement in his whole life. ‘Why is that a reason to break up?’ he asks. Donghyun seems to be uncomfortable with all the questions the younger fires at him but Minwoo doesn’t care. He’s upset Donghyun reached a conclusion about ending their relationship without even asking for Minwoo’s opinion.

‘I won’t be there to look over you. We may become strangers as time passes. Or some other guy comes over and seduces you…’ He says, when Minwoo shows with his whole body and expression that his reason is crap. ‘You don’t even trust me with that?’ Minwoo asks, he now looks disappointed. ‘No!’   almost yells. He’s embarrassed when people on the street look at them because he was being too loud. ‘I trust you. I just don’t trust other people.’ He says. Minwoo watches his boyfriend with pity. ‘You’re a grown-up. Why are you saying such childish things?’ He asks, walking up to his hyung and hugging him. Donghyun sighs deeply and wraps his arms around Minwoo.

‘It’s be

Donghyun gets accepted for a university in Tokyo as this is his final year. He hesitates because he loves Minwoo a lot but his parents tell him to think about his future. He decides it’s not possible to survive if he can’t stay by Minwoo’s side to protect and makes the decision to break up with him. ‘I am going to be honest with you. I don’t want to break up with you just because you are going to Tokyo.’ Minwoo says. Donghyun hugs his boyfriend tighter. ‘Please allow me to, Minwoo. Otherwise I think I won’t be able to go. I really don’t want to leave you behind.’ Donghyun is almost begging Minwoo at this point. Minwoo starts to feel slightly bad for him. ‘Do you really want to break up with me?’ Minwoo asks. Donghyun nods. ‘Yes.’ He says, sounding so confident that Minwoo’s heart feels like it breaks in 2 perfectly shaped pieces. He starts to tear up. ‘But I like you. I really like you.’ Donghyun adds.

‘Why do you like me?’ Minwoo asks, tears flowing down his cheeks.

‘I like you because you’re you. there’s no other reason. To me you are the most handsome even if you turn bald or fat in the future.’ 

In a rush Minwoo pecks Donghyun on the lips. Donghyun smiles and wipes away his tears. ‘Why are you crying?’ He asks, looking at the younger like he is the most precious jewel in the whole world. ‘Because we’re breaking up. So don’t you dare looking at me like that.’ Minwoo says. Donghyun’s eyes widen and he immediately wraps his arms around his boyfriend again. ‘Thank you, Minwoo. I’m sorry. I love you.’ He whispers.

‘I love you too.’

~

Youngmin and Hyunseong wait until Donghyun is done checking in his luggage. ‘Where are the others?’ Hyunseong asks.

‘Well, Jeongmin is preparing for his debut and Kwangmin has the final rehearsal for his performance.’ Youngmin explains. ‘How about Minwoo?’ Hyunseong asks, whispering.

‘He said he didn’t want to come.’ Hyunseong and Youngmin are startled by Donghyun suddenly standing behind them. ‘WOW!’ They both yell at the same time. ‘That surprised me.’ Hyunseong says softly, feeling embarrassed about talking behind Donghyun’s back. ‘Why didn’t he want to come?’ Youngmin asks. ‘He said he didn’t want to make a scenario at the airport. Especially not with his ex.’ Donghyun explains. The other two laugh when they see that Donghyun is alright. ‘Do you really not regret this hyung?’ Youngmin asks, still a bit worried. Hyunseong’s break up with Jeongmin was, even though he doesn’t like Jeongmin at all, a shock to him. It came even more unexpected when Kwangmin told him Minwoo had come to his room, crying about breaking up with Donghyun.

Donghyun nods. ‘We made this decision together. We still call each other and we’ll see what happens as time passes. I think it is better than feeling guilty all the time for leaving or forgetting about each other.’ Donghyun says. Hyunseong and Youngmin nod in understanding.

‘Ok, I’m really going now.’ The three boys high-five each other with bright smiles, wishing each other good luck and promising to keep in contact. After that, the three of them part ways.

~

Jeongmin is in bed. He can’t believe he is preparing for his debut. It will be soon, he’s counting the days. 15 more days. When he’s lying in his bunk bed like this he suddenly feels lonely. Even when there are 3 other members in the same room. He takes his phone and looks for his favourite picture. It is one that he took with the other guys in Jeju-do. He has his one arm wrapped around Hyunseong’s waist and the other around Kwangmin’s shoulders. Youngmin looks at him in disgust. Donghyun and Minwoo are standing next to each other, smiling. Jeongmin’s eyes wander back to his own face. He lost weight since taking that picture. He also became more mature. It has been a while since he’s seen pictures of him with different people then his future group members. He can suddenly feel the tears stinging behind his eyes. I wonder why we all look so much happier in this picture, compared to now. He thinks.

‘Hyung? Are you crying?’ The person below him has woken up. It is the maknae of the group. He is incredibly talented in both acting and rapping. He looks like a little hamster and reminds him of Minwoo every once in a while.

‘Sorry, I woke you up.’ Jeongmin says, desperately wiping his tears. Before he knows it the younger has climbed up the stairs to his hyung’s bed. ‘Jeongmin hyung, can I ask you a question?’ The younger asks. His hamster-like face is exactly like Minwoo’s. Jeongmin loves this guy and couldn’t wish for a better group member but at these times the other makes him sad. He misses his friends, and what he had with them. He misses the freedom of fooling around at karaoke with his dongsaengs, dating with Hyunseong, fighting with Youngmin. All of it seems so far away.

‘What do you want to ask dear?’

‘Are you unhappy with me, or the others as your members?’ He asks, softly. Jeongmin shakes his head. ‘I am the happiest person in the world and I am lucky to have met talented people like you guys. I just regret some things. I had to give up very precious people to get here and now that are debut is coming closer I feel bad about this. I’m always thinking about how I could’ve done better to my friends and to my…’ He wanders off to his own thoughts. ‘To who?’ The boy asks. ‘Were you in a relationship?’ Jeongmin sighs and nods. His dongsaeng’s eyes become bigger, hearing this. ‘Really? But you said you didn’t!’ He exclaims. Jeongmin silences him with a stern expression. He checks if he didn’t wake the other members but their breathing still sounds stable. He continues: ‘That is exactly why the two of us broke up. My lover couldn’t handle my lie, hiding their existence. I realized now I have been a selfish brat to try to keep that person to myself, while I was being busy as a trainee.’ He says. He looks up and looks the younger straight in the eyes. ‘Don’t ever do, what I did. Don’t selfishly force someone to stay with you when they are actually suffering.’ He says. The younger nods. ‘I’m sorry, hyung. I totally misunderstood your feelings. I thought you didn’t like us.’ The boy admits. Jeongmin smiles and ruffles the boy’s hair. ‘Of course not. I just need to move on. And there is only one way to find out if I did.’ Jeongmin says. The boy looks at him with question marks in his eyes. Jeongmin unlocks the screen of his phone and shows the younger the picture. ‘The moment I smile like this again. You can reassure that you and the others aren’t only my friends, but my family.’ He says. They boy looks at the picture with big eyes. ‘I hope one day, our group will look like that.’ He admits. Then he smiles brightly. ‘This is my new goal!’ He says. Jeongmin smiles back at him. ‘We should make it our goal with the whole group.’ He proposes.

‘Sounds good.’ 2 other voices exclaim. Jeongmin and the maknae laugh. ‘So you guys were listening!’

______________________________________________________

Updating because it feels like people didn't give up on me ^^