Chapter 30: Understanding

Kwangmin,

I’m sorry about what happened just now…

Youngmin pushes the backspace with force and rubs his hand through his hair. Idiot.  He thinks.

‘Iinchõ, I’m done with the questions.’ Yukari says. Youngmin quickly puts his phone down and takes them from her. ‘Let’s see. You’re doing much better already.’ He says as he checks the answers. ‘You’re such an amazing teacher. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be able to follow class.’ She says. ‘I’m not that great, but thank you.’ Youngmin says, smiling at her. Yukari’s cheeks turn pinkish as she takes the paper from him. ‘Did you fight with your brother?’

‘It wasn’t about anything special. We are both in charge of the athletic competition so we both have a big desire to win it. That’s why we fought.’

‘Well, I guess it’s good about nothing very important then.’

‘Yeah.’

~

‘Why did you watch a video of her dancing? Do you like her or something?’

‘SO YOU’RE SAYING YOUR PRESIDENT POSITION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME?!’

Youngmin can’t make the image of the hurt and tired Kwangmin in front of him disappear. It was never about the competition. It was about them and their relationship. Youngmin doesn’t know what he’s supposed to text in a situation like this. Kwangmin is not trusting him. Kwangmin is thinking that Youngmin will leave him behind. And that is exactly what Youngmin worries about. The moment their thoughts become different. The time they won’t understand each other anymore and the only thing left will be pain and distrust.

Youngmin gets up and takes his wallet and phone from his desk.

I won’t allow that to happen. Youngmin thinks as he runs towards the bus stop through the pouring fall rain.

~

Kwangmin is lying on his bed with his eyes closed. His arms cover his face completely. He listens to the rain ticking on his window. The wind that makes the leaves on the trees shake. Kwangmin’s whole body shivers and he quickly gets up to get a hoodie. Just when he has pushes his head through his phone rings. He quickly runs towards his bed and picks up the phone with his left arm, that still hasn’t entered the warmth of the hoodie.

‘Yes?’

‘Kwangmin, it’s me Youngmin. Could you come outside for a little bit?’

‘What? Where are you?’

‘Right outside your dormitory.’

‘I’m coming.’ Kwangmin forgets to hang up the phone and immediately runs through the hallway, down the stairs. The dorm head calls after him, asking where he’s going but Kwangmin doesn’t even hear. He shuts the door behind him and the moment he turns left he can see Youngmin, standing near one of the pillars that support the roof of the building.

‘Sorry to call you out this late.’ When Kwangmin comes closer he sees his brother is completely drenched from the rain. He’s shivering from the cold. His adorable sneeze snaps Kwangmin out of his daze. ‘Quickly come inside, you’ll catch a cold.’ Kwangmin says as he takes his brother’s hand. ‘It’s alright. I just came to talk.’ Youngmin says. ‘Don’t talk back to me. We can talk when you’re warm.’

‘What’s wrong Jo Kwangmin?’ The dormitory head asks when two people enter the building. ‘I’m sorry sir. My brother came to tell me something urgent but he forgot his umbrella. Is it alright if I let him take a shower and lend some of my clothes?’ Kwangmin asks. ‘Of course but make sure he doesn’t stay too long.’

‘Thank you sir.’ Youngmin and Kwangmin say at the same time bowing. The dormitory head laughs at how they’re in sync and dismisses them with a gesture of his hand.

Youngmin follows Kwangmin up the stairs. He’s surprised to enter a clean room, knowing Kwangmin’s 4d personality the best. He doesn’t get time to look around as Kwangmin pulls him into the bathroom. ‘Go take a shower first.’ He says. Youngmin watches him from the doorstep as he rushes to his closet and gets a pair of training pants, a t-shirt and a hoodie. ‘Change into this.’ He says. Youngmin takes them and before he’s able to say something Kwangmin throws the door shut. ‘I’ll talk to you after you take a shower.’ Youngmin can’t help smiling. The way Kwangmin cares for him makes him feel embarrassed sometimes.

~

Kwangmin’s heart is thumping in his chest lake a madman. He can’t believe Youngmin came to his house after such a small fight. Kwangmin was already getting sulky from not getting a text with an apology. He hears how the shower stops running and suddenly becomes nervous. What if he’s not going to apologize? What if he’s going to tell me he’s dating that first year girl. He had seen her look and that was definitely one asking for a fight over Youngmin. Or what if he says he likes Junghwa? His nervousness gets even greater. He said she was amazing himself. , he’s going to break up with me. I don’t want that. I’m not going to let him! Never! Kwangmin thinks, determined.

He hears the door opening and when he turns he sees Youngmin wearing his clothes, still drying his hair. ‘Why didn’t you put on the hoodie?’ Kwangmin asks. ‘It’s way too hot after a shower.’ Youngmin complains. Kwangmin gets up with a sigh and walks past his brother towards the bathroom and grabs the hoodie.

‘Hands up.’ He says. Youngmin watches him with raised eyebrows but Kwangmin’s pout makes him put his arms up, defeated. Kwangmin pulls the hoodie over Youngmin’s arms and pulls it down his upper body. When Youngmin’s head appears they immediately face each other. Kwangmin quickly averts his gaze but Youngmin grabs his chin with his thumb and index finger and forces him to look at him. Kwangmin whimpers from the force but Youngmin doesn’t untighten his grip.

‘Don’t avoid my eyes. I’ll feel even worse.’ Youngmin says in a stern voice. Kwangmin just looks at him with his pupils big and frightened. Youngmin sighs and removes his hand to put his two hands on Kwangmin’s shoulders. ‘I’m sorry about what happened today, Kwangmin. I didn’t mean to make you jealous. I put my own opinion before your feelings and I feel really bad about that. Can you forgive me?’ He asks. Kwangmin nods but then shakes his head. ‘What?’ Youngmin says, kind of nervous by Kwangmin’s gestures. ‘Don’t put all the blame on yourself. I was overreacting because I thought you were falling for other people than me. The things you said were right, I was being selfish.’

‘Kwangmin…’ Youngmin says, dazed by the boy in front of him. Kwangmin smiles at him and  takes Youngmin’s hands from his shoulders. ‘I’m really worried I’m going to lose you to someone else. That first year also likes you so I felt threatened when she interrupted us.’ Kwangmin says. ‘She likes me? Are you sure about that Kwangmin?’ Youngmin asks and the other nods. ‘Is it better if I shouldn’t have told you?’ He asks. Youngmin laughs and shakes his head. He intertwines their fingers and bumps his forehead against Kwangmin’s. ‘I fell in love with you Kwangmin. I fall in love with you again every day. So don’t worry about other girls and if you worry you should tell me like you did just now, okay? I will make all of your worries go away.’

‘How?’ Kwangmin asks, pouting.

Youngmin smiles and slowly leans his face even closer. ‘I will make you feel my love for you.’ Youngmin’s lips brush against Kwangmin’s as he talks. Kwangmin closes his eyes automatically and before he knows it Youngmin captures his lips with his own. They kiss passionately without stopping. Their hands tightly together. They kiss for so long that Kwangmin has to pull back to catch his breath.

‘I’m losing the strength in my legs.’ He announces, panting like crazy. Youngmin smirks and immediately takes Kwangmin by the neck to kiss him again, this time he immediately puts his tongue inside. He on Kwangmin’s tongue lightly which makes Kwangmin moan and he sticks closer to Youngmin’s body. As a payback for the embarrassment Kwangmin bites Youngmin’s lower lip and with that he draws a ragged breath from the older. Youngmin attacks him even more forcefully and Kwangmin realizes there’s a big chance they go further this time. They’re alone in his room and he can’t remember if they ever kissed with this much passion before. He immediately regrets putting the hoodie on Youngmin. Just when he musters up the courage to attack Youngmin’s clothes the older breaks the kiss. He keeps their faces close and both of them pant heavily, facing the ground. Youngmin Kwangmin’s neck with his fingers as he tries to catch his breath. Kwangmin looks up and their eyes meet again. ‘You’re beautiful.’ Youngmin whispers. ‘Why? Because I’m your twin?’ Kwangmin asks. Youngmin smiles. ‘Are you still mad about that? I just said that not to let you know my real feelings for you.’

Kwangmin makes an o shape with his mouth which results in Youngmin blushing. ‘What kind of emberassing things am I saying?’ He mumbles. Kwangmin giggles cutely and pecks Youngmin on the lips. ‘They make me happy. My trust in you is going up!’ Kwangmin says, immediately putting his arm up in the air. ‘All the way to space!’ He says with a bright, adorable smile. Youngmin laughs and fixes his boyfriend’s bangs. ‘Thanks. I’m going to go now.’

‘Yeah… Good night hyung.’

‘By the way, there’s going to be another meeting before the competition so we’ll be able to see each other earlier.’

‘Really? But it’s just for work… can’t we go do something together after the athletic competition?’

‘Sounds good to me. We can treat ourselves once in a while when we’re working hard like this.’ Youngmin says. ‘I’m off.’

‘Yes hyung.’  Kwangmin says. When Youngmin leaves the room he realizes their goodbyes are still incredibly awkward.

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Two chapters today as my apology I guess..

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