The buzzing of the cellphone against the wooden surface of the coffee table break the silence in the living room, making the tall brunet that was sitting on the soft carpet, with his back leaned against the couch, darted his eyes from the book he was holding in his hands to the electronic device. Taking it in his hand, he unlocked it. The now lighten screen showed a named that brought a bitter smile to his plump lips, he was debating between feeling happy or sad at the sight of Eli’s name and the seven word message he had sent him.

           [Can I go to your place today?]

           A small lump formed in his throat, he wanted nothing more than agree to meet the raven right away, he always wanted to see him and more in that moment when it had been more than a week since the last time Eli had granted him with his company. Kiseop was missing him. He couldn’t recall a moment when he hadn’t felt the longing for Eli’s presence, even when they were together he felt emptiness in his heart, like Eli wasn’t completely there, but at those moments he at least could feel the other’s warmth, his arms around his slim body making his aching heart to calm down. But unfortunately this time the brunet will have to continue bearing with missing Eli. Tapping quickly, he sent him a negative answer.

           That night Jaeseop would be coming back from his work trip and Kiseop couldn’t risk him finding Eli there. Even if they seemed to have a good relationship at AJ’s eyes, it had never looked like they were as close as for Eli to be visiting Kiseop while he wasn’t home. And the main reason for that was so Jaeseop wouldn’t find out about what was really happening between his friend and his brother.

           Just a few minutes after, another coming message made his cellphone vibrate again.

           [I need to talk with you, it won’t take long. We can meet at some café if you don’t want that I go to your apartment.]

           Something behind those words made Kiseop nervous. Their relationship wasn’t exactly innocent, they had never done the lovely-dovey stuff all other couples usually do because they actually weren’t a couple. They just met in some hotel room or occasionally his or the elder’s apartment and spent almost the whole time in bed without clothes. The fact that Eli wanted just to talk, and in a café no less, didn’t give Kiseop a good feeling.

           With a racing heart and a slight tremor in his hands he wrote his answer, agreeing to the meeting and letting Eli to choose the place where it would take place.

           [I will pick you up at 5.]

           Half an hour had passed since that last message and Kiseop was trying to concentrate on the school work he was doing before the small conversation with Eli had happened, but the noisy ticking of the minutes passing by kept distracting him, remembering him that 4 pm was getting close with each tick tack and clouding his mind with worries and fears.

           A tired sigh left his lips as he left the book on the table. Kiseop was worn out of this situation, but at the same time he didn’t want it to end, and for some reason he felt like those messages were announcing exactly that, the upcoming end of this distressing relationship. Something he had always known it will come eventually, but as much as he hated the current situation between him and the raven he was sure of something, he wasn’t ready for letting Eli go, he would rather continue longing for him but spending even the smallest time with him, than not be able to be in his arms anymore.

           Sulking in his thoughts the brunet failed on hearing the front door of the apartment opening and a loud yelp left his lips when a pair of arms circled his shoulders from behind the back of the couch.

           “What a scaredy cat you are Seoppie.” Kevin laughed at the other’s reaction.

           “You are an idiot Kevin.” Kiseop snapped detangling his friend’s arm from him. “What are you doing here?” Clearly annoyed Kiseop stand up and walked into the kitchen with Kevin right behind him.

           “Well, today AJ is coming back so I thought to come and wait for him here. It’s that a problem for you?” The blond ask, leaning against the counter.

           Taking a can of coke from the fridge Kiseop let out a laugh. “Are you going to torture him since the mere moment he put a foot in Korea? You won’t even give him a day break?” The brunet teased Kevin completely ignoring his question.

           “I will assume you are still annoyed for scaring you and I would ignore that.” The slim boy glared at Kiseop while walking towards him, earning a hardhearted laugh from his friend. It had been sometime since Kevin had heard that warmly laugh that transmitted happiness to everyone around Kiseop. And he missed it. Lately the only kind of laugh he could hear from Kiseop was a cold and listless one. He knew Kiseop was going through a hard time, particularly related to his love life, related to Eli, and that was affecting the brunet in various ways, he was the kind of people that got carried away for his thoughts so much that forgot about everything else, his grades wasn’t as good as before and Kevin was sure he wasn’t eating properly either. “Did you eat something?” He questioned.

           “Yes, I ate some ramen.” The brunet shrugged.

           “When are you gonna eat real food, Kiseop?”

           “Ramen is real food!”

           “Not if it’s instantaneous!”

           “Who say it was instantaneous?” Kiseop mocked with a hand resting on his waist. Kevin just threw him a deadpanned look and signaled at the empty ramen container that was still on the counter. “Okay. It was instantaneous, but I wasn’t that hungry.”

            “You need to eat better.” The blond sighed poking at Kiseop’s stomach. “You are losing weight.”

           “You brought all this?” Completely discarding Kevin’s comment the elder started to look inside the bags resting in the kitchen table.

           “Yes, I was thinking on doing dinner for AJ.” Kevin smiled cutely taking out the things he had brought.

           “Are you intending kill him with your cooking or something?”

           “You’ve been eating my food the past days and you’re not dead!”

           “Yet.” Kiseop teased.

           “Why are you so bitter today!?” Kevin inquired.

           “Sorry Kev.” The brunet said. “I will let you alone to surprise your boyfriend.”

           “Are you going out?”

           “Yes, I’ll let you two have some time alone.” Kiseop winked. “I think that it will also be a good idea don’t come back for tonight.” Stretching and he headed to his bedroom.

           “Can I ask where are you going?” The blond frowned.

           “Nope.” Was the simple response he got before Kiseop disappeared from his sight. At that just one thought crossed his mind. He’s going to see Eli again.

❇ ❇ ❇ ❇

           The dark car parked in front of a tall building, from inside Eli was looking intently at the brunet standing next to entry of it, too distracted by his cellphone to notice the vehicle. Just at the sight of him the memory of the three words he had said rushed into the raven’s mind.

           “I love you”

           He had noticed the way his body reacted to Kiseop, his heartbeat became hectic just hearing his voice, at his scent, reading his name on his cellphone when he sent him a message, looking at his beautiful sleeping face, at the sight of his ravishing smile, at the simple thought of the beautiful boy. But he had adjudicated all of it to his hormones, as he always had done, he didn’t imagine it could be love until he uttered the words. And still now, after a week of pondering about it, he didn’t believe it was love, or he didn’t want to. He was in love with Misako, he couldn’t love anyone else, it didn’t make sense. But nothing had made sense since the both of them had met.

           Eli had never been the type of cheating; always being faithful to the person he was dating and devoting only to her. It had always been like that until a beautiful, entrancing and endearing boy step into his life and turned it upside down.

           Kiseop had always had a strange effect on him; he always lost control over himself around the brunet. He lost his morals, he forgot his promises, he forgot about everything happening around him. The world just shut off if Kiseop was with him or in his mind, every bit of his attention every, every thought was just directed to him. It had been like that since the beginning, he had fought out the urge to get close to Kiseop but at some point it became unbearable to stay away him and all had become the complicate mess that they were affording now.

           Even now he was breaking a promise just by meting Kiseop again. Eli lost the count of how many times he had promised to himself he wouldn’t go to Kiseop’s apartment anymore, but he always found himself lying about going to train to be able to see him, touch him, claiming him in every way it was possible, but when all the lust was gone he just could feel guilt. He was cheating on the person he had once thought was his one and only love, and hurting another person, he was sure, loved him in the process, because he knew Kiseop loved him. With just a look at the smile he showed him every time they met and at the sorrow in his eyes every time the raven said goodbye anybody could see Kiseop’s love for Eli. But the warmth feeling Eli felt because of that love just ended sinking him more into the guilt, because as well as he knew about it he knew he was hurting Kiseop.

           But now he had a stronger and more serious promise to keep, one that couldn’t be ignored, and after a lot of thinking about everything he had made a decision. That was why he wanted to talk with Kiseop that day, to end this relationship that was hurting the brunet so much. He would hurt Kiseop one last time to end his suffering, but the simple thought of letting Kiseop go made his heart ache. But if letting him go meant he wouldn’t suffer again Eli would do it, they couldn’t be together because Eli was in love with Misako and had promised to be with her for the rest of their lives.

           Eli couldn’t help but wonder how different the story could be if he had met Kiseop before Misako. To prevent thinking more about that he sent Kiseop a quick message to make him know he was there, just a minute after the tall boy was opening the door to sit on the passenger seat.

           “Hi.” Kiseop smiled slightly, his sweet scent filling the car, his mere presence making Eli’s heart race, leaving him just able to articulate a breathless ‘hey’. After a time without a word said, and blushing under Eli’s gaze, Kiseop decided to talk again “S-So where are we going?”

           Startled by the sound of the other’s voice, Eli noticed he was staring and returned his look to the front of the car. “For a milkshake and strawberry cake? It’s that okay for you?” He suggested with a smile that reflected the happiness he was feeling just by being able to see Kiseop again.

           Kiseop nodded and beamed at him. It was true Eli was just a kind of ‘friend with benefits’ but he knew him really well, sometimes even better than Jaeseop or Kevin, and that just made him fall even more for Eli.

           They had a relationship practically based on , but Eli had managed to know a lot about him. The memory of night talks with Eli after they had made love, because for Kiseop it had always been that, snuggling together in bed, in that magic place where just the two of them mattered, filled his mind.

           Eli just stole glances by the corner of his eyes, not wanting to pronounce even a word that would make him lose the opportunity of seeing such a beautiful smile he couldn’t see so often and let the silence to surround them. Just when they had reached the café he talked again. “Let’s go.”

           Once inside the Café, they took seats in one the most secluded tables to have privacy and be able to talk without restrictions, but the talk didn’t began right away both them were trying to delay it the more they could. One of them not ready to say the words he had to say and the other not wanting to hear the possible lines that could come out from the other’s lips.

           But after they had ordered Kiseop decided to make the question he was sure will regret. “So…what did you want to talk about?”

           Taken back from his thoughts, thoughts of the boy in front of him, at the sound of Kiseop’s voice Eli cleared his throat before answered him. “Let’s eat first, then we talk.” Eli wanted to enjoy a time talking with Kiseop before saying the real reason he asked to meet him, he wanted to enjoy his first and last date with Kiseop.

           “Okay…”

           They spent a long time talking and each minute that passed Eli felt like his heart was going to leave his chest from the frenzied pace of its beating. Everything about Kiseop ignited his being his expression had never been so lovely or maybe it was that he was seeing another side of the gorgeous brunet he had never seen before. And when he felt the time to say what he had intended to say approach he found himself unable to utter the words and looking for any other thing to talk about that will delay the moment or make Kiseop forget about the fact that he had asked meeting him to tell him something important.

           “…So because of my good grades they offered me a scholarship to study in Japan.” Eli had asked Kiseop about his studies and what he had just said take him by surprise.

           “And…are you going?”

           “I don’t know…”

           “It’s a good opportunity, isn’t it?”

           “Yes but I’ve never live by my own and I’m not sure if I could. I would miss Jae and Kevin” Kiseop hesitated a little before continuing. “I would miss you.” He said looking into Eli’s eyes and feeling how his hand like it had own will tried to reach Eli’s, but when the raven retreat his a sharp pain crossed his chest and left his hand still in place. “Besides it’s not bad to continuing my studies here.” He said, trying to dissipate with those words the awkward atmosphere.

           Just when Eli had decided to take Kiseop’s hand the ringing of his phone interrupt him. Excusing himself, he went to the washroom area to answer the call, but when he saw the name of his girlfriend he decided against it, entering to the washrooms instead. He washed his face trying to cool it down. Back on the table he didn’t let Kiseop take his hand because it would make him lose control again, all he wanted for almost two hours was to close the gap between Kiseop and himself and braced him in his arms and kiss him, feel his soft lips again. He missed Kiseop’s lips but he couldn’t take them, he had to end this relationship. He should end it but while walking back to their table and looking once again at Kiseop he knew he didn’t want to lose him. If he lost Kiseop he would lose a part of himself.

           Wanting to forget about the reason they had met and not wanting to Kiseop asking about it he asked: “AJ was coming back today right?” Once he was in his seat again.

           Drawing his eyes from the window to Eli, Kiseop smiled at the thought of his brother. “Hmm. Yes, he must be landing in half an hour or so.”

           “Are going to go pick him up?”

           “No, actually today I was thinking of not coming back home.”

           “Why?”

           “Well, Kevin was home and he will surely stay to spend the night so…”

           “Oh~ I understand now.” Eli laughed, receiving a cute one from Kiseop.

           “Kevin doesn’t really contain.” Kiseop said between a laugh. Quickly realizing what he had just said and widening his eyes he added. “Don’t say him that I say that!”

           That whole scene for Eli was the cutest he had ever seen, and made him wonder how the man that could be and sound so y in bed could also be this cute. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything, but it’s not difficult to figure out that.” A whole hearted laugh escapes Kiseop lips that one Kevin missed so much and one Eli had never heard before. He couldn’t help but wonder again why he hadn’t met Kiseop before Misako. He surely loved her and wasn’t willing to throw away all their years of relationship so easily, but what he felt in that moment, with Kiseop, was something unique, different.

           “Eli!” He was so consumed on his thoughts that he hadn’t realized Kiseop was talking to him.

           “Hmm?”

           “I was asking you what do you wanted to talk about.” There was the feared question but Eli had an excuse to not say the words now and something that was also true.

           “Nothing really, I just wanted to spend some time with you.” He answered honestly, and smiled when he saw the slightly pink color adorning Kiseop’s cheeks.

           “Uhm…well…if-if you don’t have to say anything I think I would better if I just go.” The later said, feeling uneasy, Eli’s words had really surprised him, he surely wasn’t expecting that but he also didn’t want to believe in that, he knew he would ended hurt when they part ways again. “We should pay and go.” Kiseop said, wanting to run away from what he had just heard from Eli before he believed in that.

           “I invited you so it’s on me.” Standing as well Eli got close to Kiseop.

           “No, it’s ok-“ A hand gripping his chin interrupted Kiseop mid-sentence and made him raise his gaze to find himself locking his eyes with Eli.

           “Really Kiseop, it’s on me.” Eli had given up on avoiding touching Kiseop, his control was lost from the moment Kiseop sit on his car, it was useless to keep avoiding something he was dying to do. Brushing his thumb over the other’s bottom lip he felt how his world was spinning around the brunet in front of him again. Kiseop was like gravity for him, always drawing him near the brunet. 

           Kiseop moved slightly away, enough to break the grip on his chin. “Thanks.” He said, grabbing his jacket. “I would go first, then.” He rushed past Eli.

           “Kiseop, wait!” Quickly Eli left enough money on the table for all they had eaten and followed Kiseop, reaching him at the exit of the cafe. “Kiseop!” Grabbing him by his arm he turned him around. “Why are you running away?”

           “I-I…I needed to head home early” Kiseop lied bluntly.

           “You’re lying you say wouldn’t come back to your house today.”

           “W-Well I change my mind, I want to see Jae.” The brunet exclaimed, trying to yank his arm from Eli’s strong grip.

           “You’re running away from me?” Was Eli’s next question.

           “No. Why I would do that?”

           “I don’t know. You tell me.” Eli told him, grabbing his other arm and tugging him closer to him, just a few inches separating them.

           “E-Eli…we are on public…” Kiseop complained, looking to his side, avoiding Eli’s powerful gaze.

           “Then let’s go to some place where we can be alone.” Eli suggested. Snuggling one arm around the brunet’s small waist, bringing him closer, his lips ghosting over the other’s while he talked making Kiseop shiver. All forgotten again, all lost, the only thing in his mind was how much he wanted Kiseop. How much he wanted to kiss his whole body, touch him and making him his one more time. It was a need. Eli needed to feel his lips against his, his soft skin, his heat. He was letting his needs to take over him once again, his need of Lee Kiseop and he didn’t want to stop them. He just had to hear one more word from Kiseop to satisfy them.

           “Okay.” Kiseop whispered. He had also lost all his will of stay away from Eli and again, he succumbed under the raven’s touch, leaving all his worries and logic to fade away.

❇ ❇ ❇ ❇

           The door of Eli’s apartment burst open as the kissing couple made their way inside. Unable to resist one more minute, Eli had captured Kiseop’s lips the moment the lift’s metallic doors had closed and just released them for the short distance between it and his apartment.

           When the lack of air was too strong Kiseop broke the kiss and Eli latched his lips on the brunet neck want more. “Let’s go to your room.” Kiseop said, slightly under Eli’s ear.

           Grabbing the back of his neck Eli pulled Kiseop towards him and captured his plump lips in a heated kiss. His hands moved down, reaching his thin thighs, he lifted him up, he wanted more of him and now. Kiseop instantly tangled his limbs around Eli’s body, letting Eli carried him to their magic place.

           A small whimper left Kiseop’s abused lips when his back made contact with the mattress, but it was soon engulfed by Eli’s lips. Their tongues danced together inside his mouth as his arms circled Eli’s strong shoulders tugging him closer, he wanted to feel more of Eli’s body, much more. The lust had completely taken over them and in just a few seconds their clothes were landing on the floor.

           “Why have you to be like this?” Eli murmured, looking straight at the man beneath him, his desire for Kiseop clearly etched on his face. “Why has your skin to be so soft?” Kiseop shivered at the feeling of the raven’s hand caressing his inner thighs. “Why has your body to be so enticing?” He kiss all the way down Kiseop’s body, taking some time to tease his s, making him arched his back, until he felt the roughness of the fabric of the only piece of clothes remaining on Kiseop. “And your lips,” he said moving upwards, “why are they able to drive me crazy with the smallest touch?” Eli nibbled on Kiseop’s bottom lip before capturing them in a slow breath-taking kiss that initiated the upcoming passion of their heated night.

           Yes, Eli knew he should put a stop to this relationship, for Misako, for Kiseop, even for himself, but for this night he was going to let himself get lost in the passion and enjoy the time conceded with this amazing and addictive man.

It took me too long to update this u.u sorry,
but this chapter didn't want to be writen.
Hopefully next won't take that long ^^
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And I hope you enjoyed it.
See you~