TITLE: (5/5)

It is my first time coming across a title like this, so I guess it is a bit original, and readers are more likely to find out what this means. Reading and saying it over and over again sounds nice, too.

DESCRIPTION + FOREWORD: (3/5)

Personally I think that it was a bit frank and plain, but at least we got the idea of what the story’s going to be like. There wasn’t a bit of a spark in there. And I got a bit off-guard when you put that “xD” there. Usually stuff like those goes in the author’s notes.

But then it’s good that you have a couple of notes there to avoid confusion while the readers are already into the story itself. It is also well stated there on what “Sarinja” means.

Now, about introducing the characters beforehand the actual story, usually people would give first impressions on these characters, and usually this is not recommended. Woohyun’s role stated here, he is best friends with Sunggyu who is trying to help Sunggyu in finding out the murderer. In your earlier description, there is nothing about Woohyun trying to help Sunggyu. Also, my first impression was “Huh, Woohyun might not be the murderer after all” but who knows but you, right? There’s this idea of a plot twist. Maybe that is what would probably make readers be interested in your story, asking questions like “Gasp, what if Woohyun was the murderer?” and wanting them to stick to the story.

PLOT: (-/15)

It barely started, so… let’s just omit this part.

ORIGINALITY: (10/10)

Let me just say that this is quite original, since the murderer seems to be one of his friends, and then one of his friends can sense Sunggyu who is apparently dead. It’s not like I always see these kinds of plots or ideas in a story in Asianfanfics.

FLOW: (5/10)

Chapter 1 was a wee bit okay, but then, when going to Chapter 2 and Chapter 3, it seemed like a rush although it was really just a memory. Take time in describing each event. It was also full of conversations that I couldn’t quite follow what each of the characters is doing in each scene.

Those before the accident and after the accident took me off-guard, as well. Why not compile all of the before-the-accidents first then come the after-the-accidents? Or possibly just let it be that way but one could be in a different font from the others.

CHARACTERIZATION: (9/10)

It barely just started (I say this once again), so I have to be fair in this.

So let me enumerate the Infinite Members: Sunggyu, Woohyun, Dongwoo, Myungsoo, Sungyeol, Hoya, and Sungjong. It is said that the supporting members are Dongwoo, Myungsoo, Sungyeol, Hoya, and Sungjong. Their roles so far are well brought out and you can really tell that they are supporting characters. You can also see that Woohyun and Sunggyu have great importance in this.

WRITING STYLE: (6/10)

You have a tendency to repeat those letters, for example: “Guuuuyyyss?”.  It doesn’t look neat that way and what I usually understand from this is that the letters that are repeated means that their sounds are prolonged. I tried saying that guuuuuuyyyyssss a lot of times and I don’t know it seems quite annoying, so avoid doing that.

You seem to put a line break after every other sentence. Avoid doing that, too, since it’s not really the proper convention in writing in here and it doesn’t look neat that way. If sentences seem to be related to each other, then put them all in one paragraph.

Like what I mentioned in the Flow, you could put the before-the-accident in a different font so that it’ll be easier to identify the event.

GRAMMAR + SPELLING: (15/15)

So far, you seem to be doing quite well in this rubric.

ENJOYMENT: (-/10)

It really barely started (again), so since I don’t exactly know what I’m feeling here, let’s omit this part, too.

Just a personal comment, though, this is my first time reading something with only Infinite in it, so I'm hoping that this will turn out well. :]

TOTAL: (53/65) = 81.53%

© arcadiyan
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