TITLE: (4/5)

It seems really mysterious and full of angst and that’s probably what made it seem intriguing. At first glance, though, it seems like a plain title, but reading it over and over again, it gave off that intriguing feeling.

DESCRIPTION + FOREWORD: (3/5)

The first sentence talked about their comparisons with each other. However, the following sentences made me confused a bit. I couldn’t see how these sentences would be connected to the first sentence. The sentence “Two very different girls yet both are similar in more ways than one” could stand as a lone sentence since the next sentence talks about a comparison between monsters and humans, so the second sentence could be the start of a new paragraph.

The sentence “monsters are human, evil and vile.” got me confused as well. I’ve read this over and over again and I think this would be better if it was written as “Humans are actually monsters: evil and vile” since what I think you’re trying to portray here was that some humans really are monsters.

The thought of this, however, seems interesting to enough to lure readers into your story. It had that mystery and angst feel.

I’m usually not into those descriptions that already describe the characters beforehand, since I personally would rather find out the characters myself in the story itself and identifying them myself but the way you describe them makes readers want to go on and find out how these characters would develop in the story.

LAYOUT: (9/10)

The colors fit the idea of your story: dark. It gives off that angst feeling and at the same time, romance could be dark. Your poster is nice, but one thing that bothers me a bit is the quote, since I believe it should be written as “Ties were meant to be… unbreakable” since I felt like it was supposed to have a longing feeling.

Font styles seem to be suitable, so no problems there.

PLOT: (15/15)

Nicely done plot, to be honest. I could see where the monsters in their life are from, and how their past would really affect them that much. There are some intriguing and interesting parts as well, and it’s really set for a romance type of story.

ORIGINALITY: (8/10)

One thing I don’t find quite original is when everything started with just a tutorial. Plus other parts seem like a typical romance story here in Asianfanfics, but then it seemed original at the same time because of Tiffany asking about a question both of them had something in common about their past.

FLOW: (7/10)

You could probably put some little symbols to indicate that  there was a change of setting in the event, such as in Chapter 1 wherein Taeyeon left Tiffany after talking about tutoring  and then Taeyeon calling Tiffany at around 10.

Portraying their feelings and actions seem to come out of nowhere and they seem so sudden, such as when Tiffany out of the blue asked that question in Chapter 1, Taeyeon then gave out her answer, and instantly Tiffany knew the real Taeyeon. Probably because it could have taken sometime to fully get to know one person. Or maybe when Tiffany slept with Taeyeon. I don’t know, but it really happened so suddenly. These parts seem rushed, in my opinion.

Nonetheless, each event could be fine to get along with.

CHARACTERIZATION: (10/10)

No problems, here, really. You give the main characters, Tiffany and Taeyeon, equal attention and their pasts and roles were nicely defined. 

WRITING STYLE: (10/10)

You are amazing in this rubric, really. The sentences seem simple, but they give off heavy feelings: sadness, angst, darkness, and etc. I have no problems on other criteria for this, either.

GRAMMAR + SPELLING: (14/15)

The grammar’s quite fine, and there are just few (very few) errors in terms of spelling, and there’s the occasional error of the use of “your/you’re” and “their/they’re”. I don’t need to correct all of them since they don’t seem to be much of a bother to me.

ENJOYMENT: (10/10)

Shorter than expected, again. OTL I'm so sorry.

Two of my favorite SNSD members!! And it’s honestly my first time reading a story about them. This is what I like about reviewing, though: discovering new kinds of stories that are not on my usual “searching for stories to read here” criteria (usually and most of the time stories with Chanyeol or KrisYeol //bricked).

But then I feel like I could get along with this story as well, even if I just read about death in Chapter 1. Death is something I think of every night, actually. Like what I  said in the Writing Style, I like how heavy this brings out for the feelings.

TOTAL: (90/100) = 90% = ★ featured!!

© arcadiyan
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