Kibum's POV

You know what hurts? Seeing the love of your life with someone else but you don’t want to interfere because she’s happy.

She’s happy, and that’s all that should matter. I should put her feelings first before anything else because her happiness... her happiness is mine, too. I’m not sure what’s keeping me into loving her, and I’m not asking for an answer.

I’m not asking Eunji for anything, really.

One way love. She’s leaving and I’m staying.

Eight years have passed by but still, I kept hoping that one day, she’ll come back to me. I kept holding myself back from telling her how I feel, because I want her to be happy even if it’s with him, with Baekhyun.

But still, there’s a tiny part in my brain that kept wishing and believing that one day, everything will change and we will live happily ever after.

I’ve done all those things, not because I want to, but because I can’t choose to not love her. And I still do. I still love her. So much that it kills to know that I have lost her because in my attempt at getting over her, I dated another girl. I feel sorry for myself for not telling her I love her when I know I did.

Jung Eunji, she’s my could’ve been, should’ve been but never was and never will be.

I heard a voice nearby, and my head nodded up. Before I knew it, Eunji was right in front of me.

“Enjoying the night, Kibummie?”

“Y-yeah.” It was all I could voice out.

“Why are you here?”

I didn't respond and just looked past her, staring intensely at the spot a few meters behind.

“Hey, are you okay? You look sick.”

“I’m okay.” I faked a chuckle. “By the way, what are you doing here? The bride isn’t supposed to be with the best man, you know.”

 “No—the question is, what are you doing here in the garden alone, stupid. I was just checking up on you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I want to. You’re my best friend, remember?”

Bestfriend. I stared at Eunji while everything faded into blurred messages. “Eunji?"

"Oh?"

".... are you happy?”

“Yes, I am. I am the happiest right now.” Eunji responded quickly, offering me a big smile.

Her voice was so joyful, and my heart ached with the sound of it.

“That’s great. B-because when you’re happy, I'm happy too.” My voice was sullen and also slightly breathless, and I can’t hold back a little sob as I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “If anything, or something happens, Kibummie’s just here, alright? You can tell me anything. I'll always be here. Always.”

"Thank you for helping us on our wedding. I am not sure what would have we done without you..."

"It's not a problem."

"It is, I know it is. I know you're busy with your job, with your own life, but you still... you are great. Thank you from the deepest pits of my heart."

I said nothing and she continued.

"Hey." Eunji pulled me into a bone crashing hug. She spoke slowly, her words seeming to be the only thing to calm me down. "I love you, Kibum."

She loves me.

"You'll always be my bestfriend..."

It snapped me back to reality. Back to the fact that as a friend, I will always be just that, a friend. My job is to love her from afar and not hope for something that's now impossible. My eyes started filling up some wet substance I didn't want to acknowledge, tears brim my eyes and that moment, I knew that crying was inevitable.

I had to blink repeatedly to unblur my vision.

I had no idea about what to say until we heard a slow song starting up to play from inside the hall. I tilted her face upwards to mine, and stared into her eyes.

"Remember our senior ball?"

Eunji nodded.

“I never got the chance to dance with you that night.”

I stared at her sparkling brown eyes.

“Will you do me a favour?" Instinctively, one of my hands brushed her cheek as she nodded again in response. “Dance with me tonight, please?” For the last time.

“Sure.” Eunji smiled and took my hand.

She scrunched her eyes shut while I held her close as we swayed gently back and forth on the side. I closed my eyes, my heart pounding frantically fast against my chest. I held her tighter than usual and took each second in the embrace deep into my heart. Each second is precious.

"I'm leaving, Eunji." I whispered, my throat threatening to close up.

"The party isn't over yet---"

"I'm leaving for London." I forced out, scrunching my eyes tightly shut.

"What? Why? When? Why is this so sudden?"

 My breathing slowed down as my heart broke even more. "I have to." Move on.

"Care to explain why?"

"I will be in London for at least three years." I said before clearing my throat. "But hey, time flies fast, right? Go and make beautiful babies and have a stable life with Baek, spend your Christmas and vacations happily, and in no time I'll be back."

"Kibum..." Eunji whispered, moving her hand up and slowly wiping my tears away. "You go to work and change people's lives, go date and find someone who'll make you smile again. Someone who'll make you laugh and brush puke out your hair when you get sick. You move on... and learn from what we had. Find the person you are meant to be with." She choked out.

"I can do that, some of that. Work, that I can do. But the rest..."

"Kibum."

"The person I am not meant to be with already has my heart." I said softly that I was not sure if she even heard what I said. It was not a fair thing to say, but I just can't help it. 

The pain of truth settled over me for the nth time. I hate how weak I sounded, but I've got no defenses left.

Eunji looked down. "You need someone to be there for you. Someone you can pick a fight when you're scared, Just.. someone to be there. And I can't do that anymore. I can't be who you  need." She sighed shakily, her words like knife through my already shattered heart.

"I know. As much as it hurts, I know."

"Promise me you'll move on one day from this." She whispered softly. "Promise me you won't become a crazy manwhore, alright?"

"Oh, Eunji." I weakly chuckled. "I won't make a promise I can't keep. You deserve more than that. So, I won't promise you that I'll move on because I'm honestly not sure I ever will. But I promise you that I won't turn into someone you won't recognize, someone you wouldn't like, ok?" I croaked out, wondering if it is really possible to die of a broken heart.

"Let me know when you're leaving for the airport. We'll be there."

"Okay." I tried to sound upbeat but failed miserably.

The song faded out we stayed where we were for another few seconds before I pulled back, Eunji adjusting the position of her head so that we are making eye contact again. 

I slowly let her go and forced a smile. I closed my eyes again as I spoke the next words, maybe the most difficult of this entire conversation. "Go, don't keep your husband alone there inside." 

"Will you be okay here?"

"Of course."

"Sure?"

"Yes, I will be okay here."

"Kib--"

"Just go." I replied, my voice was shaky and unsure as I gently pulled myself away from her. My hand reached up to come to rest on the back of my neck with best efforts of not breaking down any moment now

"Bye, Kibum."

"Goodbye."

It took a few seconds later before I could hear her lone steps walking away and the sound of my heart breaking all over again. 

Be happy, Eunji. You deserve it.