If someone would have told Jongdae that he would end up spending the night of the party kissing Kim Joonmyeon, he wouldn't believe them. He would've told them that they were stupid and delusional and would drop the conversation, because, who would kiss Jongdae? The Jongdae with the cat lips, the Jongdae who wasn't Jongin.

Jongdae had to remind himself during it that there were no strings attatched and he was simply aiding Joonmyeon in getting some release. They'd spent an hour or so kissing already, and nothing had changed Jongdae's views. He pulled away and stared at the ground, "Why're we doing this?"

Joonmyeon watched Jongdae and shrugged, "Like I said, you're cute. Nobody'll know, if that's what you're worried about. Besides, if they did, being the president of the student council has it's perks."

"You don't know anything about me," Jongdae muttered, burying his head in his hands, "If you did you might not find me so cute."

Joonmyeon cocked his head, "You're Kim Jongdae, twin brother of Jongin, younger brother of Hyoyeon and Kibum. Your father, Ryeowook, is a leading person in the Super-Infinite enterprises. You're the class clown, also called troll and from talking to my friends it seems you have strong relationships with your sister and cousin, Jonghyun."

Jongdae glanced up and Joonmyeon and blinked a few times, studying the older's satisfying expression. It would seem he had been observing him, or at least taking notes of everything he heard about the younger. Jongdae coughed and looked back down, "You don't know me."

"But I do," Joonmyeon pressed, edging closer to Jongdae, a hand ghosting over the younger's shoulder ready to comfort him if needed, "You're one of the most amazing guys in the school."

Jongdae flung himself off the bed and paced around the room slightly, "No - I'm not."

"But you are! Your jokes have the class in sti-"

"You just know my name Kim Joonmyeon, not my story."

Jongdae turned to the door and began to take quick steps towards it, stopped only by Joonmyeon grabbing onto his shirt sleeve, pulling it up slightly. Cold air rushed to the first few scars on his arm, causing Jongdae to pull his arm back quickly, hiding it behind his back. His breathing became unsteady as he glanced at Joonmyeon, watching the other boy's confused yet worried expression. Jongdae could feel his face flushing and he could only imagine what thoughts that could and probably would be going through Joonmyeon's mind.

'He's a freak.'

'It's quite funny really.'

'Wow I wasted my time for someone who probably can't feel anything.'

All possible thoughts that Joonmyeon could hold rushed into Jongdae's own mind, a sick feeling growing in the bottom of his stomach. He honestly expected Joonmyeon to laugh or yell at him to get out and how he didn't speak to freaks, instead, the older walked fowards slowly, aiming not to freak Jongdae out. He held out a hand, "C-Can I see your arm?"

Jongdae looked down at the outstretched hand and then at his shoulder that belonged to his arm, "No....No you can't."

Joonmyeon didn't hesitate and took another small step closer, "Jongdae-ah, just show me your arm, I won't judge you."

Jongdae stood still for a few moments, staring at Joonmyeon's face, hand and his own arm. He swallowed the lump in his throat down and began to reveal his arm. He turned it so his wrist would be facing upwards and he placed his other hand on the cuff of the shirt, ready to pull it back. Joonmyeon noticed how shaky Jongdae's hand was and he placed his outstretched hand underneath his arm, smiling warmly at Jongdae in an attempt to calm him, "Don't be scared."

Jongdae found himself nodding, despite what his own mind wanted him to do. He wanted to run away, from Joonmyeon, the house, the city. He wanted to run away to somewhere where nobody knew him, where nobody could judge him. The lump in his throat had reformed as he pulled away the fabric, revealing messy rows of red lines that criss-crossed across his pale arm. As the air touched the scars he winced. He looked at Joonmyeon who's attention was captivated by the lines. 

"Can I?" Joonmyeon asked, eyes not leaving the younger's arm.

"Do what?"

"This."

Joonmyeon brushed a finger across the first scar, causing Jongdae to wince. It hurt at first, but then a soothing feeling seeped through. An unknown feeling filled him up as he watched Joonmyeon do it again on the same one, the pain no longer being there, instead the feeling of warmth filled his arm. Joonmyeon's eyes looked up to Jongdae's face, "Can I?"

Instead of questioning it Jongdae nodded, tensing his arm expecting pain. Joonmyeon ran his fingers up the pale arm, leaving no scar untouched. Each one tingled with the soothing feeling, each one experiencing love. Joonmyeon guided Jongdae over to the bed again and wrapped an arm around Jongdae's shoulder. 

"Why?"

Jongdae blinked at the question. He'd been asked it before by Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Hyoyeon but unlike them where he couldn't formulate an answer, he found himself yearning to tell, "I'm not Jongin."

Joonmyeon raised an eyebrow in confusion, "What?"

Jongdae turned his head away, "I'm not Jongin, not the guy everyone wants. I'm his stupid twin brother, the one people barely remember."

Joonmyeon chuckled lightly under his breath and Jongdae took it as the older finding him pathetic. He looked down and a tear rand own his cheek. The chuckle was replaced quickly by Joonmyeon's soft and comforting voice, "You're not Jongin. You're Jongdae, the better twin."

Jongdae rubbed his eyes as he looked back at Joonmyeon, "Who says?"

"Me."

"You're only saying that because you feel sorry for me," Jongdae breathed, his eyes filling with sadness which Joonmyeon watched.

The older shook his head, "If I found Jongin better, don't you think I'd get him to be my partner in science? It sounds so stupid but I really wanted you to be my partner because I like you. I know you saw me blushing and yet you still don't believe me? I just made advances and you don't get it?"

Jongdae knew what Joonmyeon was telling him, but the conflict within him prevented him from processing it. Part of him screamed that he was lying and he just wanted to see him suffer, whereas the other, larger part of him wanted to make Joonmyeon admit it, to feel loved from someone other than his friends and family. Jongdae let a cheeky smile, a proper one, sit on his lips, "Get what?"

Joonmyeon groaned as he smiled and threw his head back, "Ugh. Kim Jongdae I like you. I've liked you since those rumours came out because I saw how strong you were."

"Where're you exactly going with this?"

Joonmyeon ran a hand through his hair and laughed, "I guess I'm asking you if you'd go on a date with me. Just one. If I can prove to you that you're amazing, we date. If I don't, we forget that today ever happened."

Jongdae thought about it for a second, "Deal."