4 years later..

 

Dara POV

Time really flies isn't it?.. It come and go so fast that it feels like when you wake up on this morning, you realize that everything has changed. That all the things that had happened, now only served its purpose only as memories...

I've also already got a job now. It's been 1 year now. I'm working in a marketing team in a small company. Tomorrow, it's the company annual new year dinner. I look forward to it but I also don't want the dinner to take place because for me, everything is too fast-paced and I hate the fact that I'm still stuck in between the moments.. 

 

Jiyong POV

Tomorrow, I'm going to Sulli's company dinner but I feel like not going but because of her plead, I've got to go since I hasn't attend any of her company function before when she asked me and one more reason it's her father's company. So, I've got no choice, aren't I?

Eventhough a lot of times has passed by, nothing much has changes. It's hard to put it into words, it's like there's a hollow in my heart. An emptyness I couldn't figure out since that day but I just kept it all to myself, hoping that someday this feeling will fade...

 

Dara POV

Being an awkward person is a disadvantages at times like this. Here I am at the company dinner, supposedly enjoying this moment. Like this a golden opportunity to get to know new people and make some friends. But, I'm just squirming uncomfortable at my seat while fiddling with my fingers. 

After some time finally, the buffet is ready and I quickly go to the buffet area and fill up my plate. When I'm still eating, I heard my name is called.

'Park Sandara!!' I almost chocked on my food when the MC announce my name and everyone looked at me. 

'Come on up on the stage, Miss Park. You've been chosen to sing atleast 2 songs on this lovely evening!! Come on you all give her some claps!!' The MC spoke with great enthusiasm. I couldn't refuse anymore since everyone is waiting for me now. 

I feel quite nervous when all eyes are on me. I didn't dare to look at the audience so I just stare at the MC in front of me. She handed me the microphone and then I chose a song to express my feelings about someone that is still there in the back of my mind even after so long. I want everyone in that room to know what I truly feel eventhough they will thought that well, I'm just an emotional person with an awkward personality. Somehow, I want him where ever he is at, he could listen to this songs that have the only question I want to ask him badly. With a bit of confidence, I started to sing the song with all of my heart. I hope this song will reach you heart where ever you are.. 

 

Jiyong POV

I look at the petite figure that is up on the stage. It is really her. I almost couldn't believe it. I try to supress this whatever feeling I had in my heart.But she didn't even notice me eventhough I sit at the most upfront table with Sulli and her dad. My eyes couldn't leave her face as I listen to the song lyrics..

'Have you thought through the word that you just spit out?

Do you know that you can't turn back things easily?

I hate that you look happy as if you were waiting for this, waiting for the day when we'll finally break up...'

The wounds in my hearts is now ripped open by the song lyrics she just sang then the chorus makes my chest even tighter.

' Will you be alright? If you know I always cry?

You said that you can stand at the thought of me being sad and cried...

Will you be alright? But I know you'll do just fine,

You can live your life without me, But I'll always stuck in our memories..

Baby, think of it twice. Think through it again.

If you leave me, will you really be alright?

Because I won't be fine and I'm going to miss you every single day...'

I only realized that the song is over when the crowd cheer and ask for one more song. I look up at her and that is the moment when our eyes met...

 

Dara POV

'Jiyong...' My heart felt like it want to burst when our eyes met.

I keep wearing that fake smile on my face as I say half jokingly, ' I might cry when I sing this another song later. Please excuse me...'

I fake a laugh and all of the people laughed with me. I take a glance at Jiyong and he didn't even notice me as he is busy talking with a girl next to him like I'm invisible to his eyes while I'm holding back the tears that has threatened to fall down by laughing with everyone at my own jokes.

'Yesterday, I came to know oh... to know how you are, that you're doing pretty well, right?..

Now, your smile is not the same as not long ago, it only has happiness to show...

With a little bit of regret, if it's like this I should've never let you go, all of that has happened since we met,

Memories that will be hard to forget...'

I took a deep breath and close my eyes before singing the chorus, trying to blink the tears away but then my then the tears ran down my cheeks nonstop as I sing the chorus.

'If I ever get to miss you, so goodbye goodbye,

If I ever want to see you, I'll just hold on, I'll just hold on,

Because that is all I can do...

If I miss you even more, so goodbye goodbye,

if I think of you even more, I'll just hold on, I'll stay away, I'll be okay,

if you are happy this way..'

I take a look at Jiyong and I can see his emotionless face. It reminds me the day when we last talked and he got angry at me. It break my heart all over again but I fake a smile at the audience and continue singing my favourite part of the song.

'Like a nightmare that I can't wake up from,

it feels like I'm heading to a place I don't want to go to,

like I'm in a bad dream, where everything I had is breaking,

if I try to reach you, will you go away,

why are you going away?...

 

Just to let you know, before I had to let you go,

I really love you with everything I had and I thought I was the only one on your mind,

the only one you dreamed about, guess I wasn't right... 

 

I know that when I miss you whenever I think of you,

I'll hold on even more and I'll stay away then I'll be okay...

If you are happy this way...'

The song ended and all of the workers cheered louder than before. My tears didn't stop flowing eventhough I tried to wipe it several down. I bowed and smiled to them after that I quickly go away from there and head straight to the toilet. 

This feel is too much. Seeing him once again, it takes my whole being to control myself from breaking down in front of him. It makes old wound becomes bleeding again. My sobs become louder and my legs feel weak. Luckily there's no one outside the hall. Memories... How much I love and hate them...

 

Jiyong POV

I know that those tears are real. She can't never fake things like that.

'Woww... It's incredible how she can deliver those emotion that is in this song. Like the things she sang is what she truly feels.' It's because they're real, Sulli. How I wish everyone know that Dara is really hurt..

And I know that I was the cause of it. Why, Dara? Why?.. Why are you trying to hurt yourself?..

I keep on an emotionless face to show Dara that none of the things she try to express using the song lyrics will change anything. Then, I met her eyes again. 

Tears started to fall again. I look away from her because if I look at her any longer I might.. I might lose control there. At the last lyrics of the song, I know that she's been hiding, burying and holding all of the feelings she had inside. But.. It's been 4 years.. Maybe this is all about other guy... Pain struck my heart when I think about it.. But, she deserved her own happiness. A guy that'll love her like she is his queen. Wait.. Why am I getting teary now?..

I saw Dara walked down the stage and heading straight to the door. I quickly excused myself from Sulli and Sulli's father that I need to go to the toilet.. I walk quickly to catch up with her...

'Dara...' I called her as soon as I see her walking heading towards the toilet. She didn't turn around and walk even more faster from me.

I run towards her and hold her at the shoulder. She turn stiff but still she doesn't want to turn around. I slowly turn her body facing my direction.

'W-w-what?..' She ask me.. It breaks my heart to see her like that. She's nowhere near the Dara that I used to know..

'Dara... Please don't cry...' I try to comfort her.

'Please stay away from me.. I beg you.. ' She pushed me away.

 

Dara POV

I pushed him away knowing that I might go crawling back to him if he continue to comfort me..

'Tell me the jerk who make you cry. Let me punch him in the face..' He ask me as he curled up a fist.

I just shook my head and brush his hand off me.. ' You will never want to know...' I thought to myself.

 'Dara, please...'

'It's you...' He hug me tightly after I said that he was the cause of all this. Who make me turn out to be this way.. 

 

Jiyong POV

'I'm sorry...' I whispered into her ears. I miss her. The warmth of her body. Just everything about her.

 

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Soo this is the chapter 4! I'll be updating my other fanfic later, see if I'm not lazy... Hehehe. The lyrics are from 'When I Miss You' and 'Will you be alright?' by Beast. Theres a cover for the When I Miss You english ver. Her covers are all so great. Try to look for M1k4chu if I'm not mistaken. As for the other song, the original eng. lyrics with some changes here and there. Thats all I think and please susbscribe! :) Btw, thanks to people subscribing to this story... :D

Here's the link to the song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ss43rVKYfc