Bears, Beer and es
Block B's Big Road Trip Flop [hiatus]"Look what I got from the library!" Taeil yelled, running into the RV and nearly tripping over Jihoon, who was on the floor in an intense Pokemon battle on his DS. Jihoon would have looked up at the younger to stick his tongue out at him, but his blastoise was about to be knocked out, and that was much more important. He could always ask Kyung about the concept of vengeance anyways. Jihoon had a lot of questions to ask Kyung, like where babies came from, since the elder could speak English and knew a lot. Jaehyo seemed oddly against him asking Kyung for some reason, something about misinformation and "corrupting".
"Since when do you go to the library?" questioned Jiho, who was currently dancing to "gangsta rap". That is, if Nicki Minaj qualified as "gangsta rap".
"Just translate the flyer, Kyung. It looks interesting." Taeil sighed, plopping down on he couch next to the younger, who was reading a book titled "how to posses your roommates" or something like that.
"Free beer making sessions, June twenty-nineth. Help be part of the North Carolinian tradition of beer making and brewery for a day. Your hard work and efforts will be payed off with a nice glass of scotch or two at the end of the day.... A must-do for a native or a tourist.... You know what? This actually does sound fun!" Kyung grinned, gripping the flyer tightly. He had been excited about getting to drink real whisky, or really conniving Jiho into drinking whisky and watching the leader walk around drunkenly.
"For once I agree with him. I'm in." Jaehyo smiled, kicking the DS out of Jihoon's hands. The younger scrabbled around on the floor, trying to grab the lost electronic without getting up.
"Since Jaehyo's in, I'm in." Yukwon smiled, generally trusting Jaehyo's integrity, judgement and character. The ulzzang usually aired on the side of good, at least when his fellow bandmates were involved.
"Beer is manly. Girls like manly men. I'm in." Minhyuk smiled happily, dreaming of all the women he could date someday. For now he was just stuck spending his nights sharing a room with Jaehyo and Taeil.
"Since Taeil suggested it, it should be fun!" Jihoon grinned, much too innocent for his age. Jihoon still thought whisky was the name of a horse, scotch was tape and believed in the tooth fairy. Last time they checked, Jihoon was still terrified of The Brave Little Toaster.
"Six against one. Jiho's automatically in." Jaehyo said, slamming the radio off and grabbing Jiho by the scruff, throwing the leader on top of Kyung. Jaehyo pulled some sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and looked at the flyer's small map. He revved up the RV's engine and smiled.
"Time to rock n' roll baby."
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"Damn." all of the bandmates, excluding a confused Jiho, uttered, staring at the owner of the brewery. The six boys just stood there, staring at the lady's humungous s. She was your classic southern belle, wavy auburn hair that fell to her waist, a charming smile that complimented a gorgeous figure, cat eyes and unshaved legs. Well, the whole unshaved leg thing was odd, but it was still hot since she was smoking (smoking hot, not actually smoking).
"Howdy y'all. Are you the seven recruits for our beer brewery?" The lady smiled, her southern accent making Minhyuk's eyes turn into hearts. He had a thing for southern women (though really, Minhyuk had a thing for anyone with two legs and no mustache).
"Yes m'am." all seven males saluted to the beautiful woman. She smiled and nodded, leading each to a station. Jaehyo was brought to a large tank that was equipped with a hair-dryer esque device. Kyung was brought to a milling machine, and Jiho was brought to a large filtering tank. Jihoon was told to crank a very large machine, while Yukwon and Taeil had to watch over ridiculously large vats. Minhyuk was lead down into a dark basement that Jihoon was convinced was a dungeon.
"I love this!" Kyung screamed happily, cranking the machine at a break-kneck pace, mushing all the germinated hops. His friends rolled their eyes, finding it obvious that the small guy loved destruction.
"Poor seedlings. They had so much to live for." Jihoon sobbed, turning the mashing device. To Jihoon, all plants were sentient beings who he loved and cared for as their maternal figure. Imagine watching all your babies die, Jihoon had told many a variety show on interviews. Unfortunately, Korean television stations did not understand the complex emotions of plant-love, and did not interpret Jihoon's heart felt speech as very heart felt.
"YOU THINK THAT'S BAD?!" Minhyuk yelled, walking up the stairs of the dungeon basement with an abnormally large keg of beer, which he then attached to Jiho's odd steam-punk looking machine.
"You- BLEARGHCK." Yukwon interrupted himself by puking into the vat of beer, which smelled horrible as he was stirring the boiling mixture. All of his bandmates made gagging noises afterwards, grossed out by the smells and Yukwon's puking.
"Keep up the good work boys!" The brewer smiled, showing off her perfect teeth. Once again, all the men, with the exception of Jiho, ogled at the amazing lady.
"So there is hope for humankind...." Taeil muttered, staring at her as he stirred his vat of beer absentmindedly. Why care about beer when there's the most gorgeous lady in all of North Carolina on a sunlit balcony?
"Is she really that hot?" Jiho asked, puzzled. He didn't get where all the hubbub was coming from. "I mean, she's really pretty but, she's nothing special."
"Are you really that gay?" Kyung asked, concerned that Jiho was going blind.
"Even gay guys think she's hot! Just ask Jaehyo." Yukwon smiled, stirring his large vat. The mixture inside smelled like alcohol, fish guts and kombucha.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's smokin'. And she gave me the best job ever! It's like using a blow drier." Jaehyo grinned, aiming the blow drier gun-thing at the germinated hops.
"You're killing my children." Jihoon sobbed, his salty tears falling into the beer.
"You're killing my brain cells. You don't make any sense, Jihoon!" Kyung yelled, still milling the seeds, which were grinding at record pace, causing Jihoon to cry more.
"You're killing my back!" Minhyuk screamed to no one in particular, holding another enormous keg of beer above his head, looking minuscule in comparison.
"YOU'RE KILLING THE BEER! SALT RUINS IT! SIC 'EM, BOYS!" The brewress, crossing her rather hairy legs, crowed. All of the boys stopped what the were doing to look confused. The "boys" in question soon revealed themselves as specially trained attack bears flew out of the secret doors in the steampunk brewery.
"Run for your lives!" Taeil screamed, grabbing Jaehyo's hand and sprinting out the main door. His other five friends followed quickly after. The seven bandmates never looked back, and didn't stop running until they were as safe and sound as they could be in their RV. The rest of the day was spent watching Mean Girls and playing Duck Duck Goose.
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Author's note
I had this inexplicable fear of the Brave Little Toaster when I was tiny. I could not make it through the movie without curling up into a small ball of fear and sadness when I watched it. Actually I still haven't finished it yet XD. That and the Upside-down Rock from Winnie the Pooh. Those are the things that terrify small children.I had to do some actual research before writing this chapter. I got to study the ancient, not-so-secret art of brewery. It's probably the last thing I've learned this school year.
Anywho, this chapter was on the short side, since I've been juggling a million other fic ideas along with writing a graphic novel and a storybook for school. School is just trying to with me right before I end middle school. Homie don't play that.
Well, it's that time in the chapter. The time where I ask you this week's question. Since the brewress in this chapter had hairy legs my question for y'all is: What do you think about women who don't shave their legs? Tell me your opinions/ideas/comments/criticisms/hate mail in the comments section below. I run on y'all's comments, yo.
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