Twine Time
Block B's Big Road Trip Flop [hiatus]"SWEEEEEEEEET HOOOOOOOOOME ALABAMA!" Jaehyo and Taeil screamed, rolling down the RV windows, allowing the ear-shattering music to blast out into the highway.
"They're the main vocals! How can they sing so bad?!" Minhyuk wailed, covering his ears with his hands. Unfortunately, the power of Lynyrd Skynyrd was too great and countryful that it invaded all of the members' ears, whether wanted or not.
"I think I might die." Jihoon whispered, huddled up in a ball on the couch. To say the least, Jihoon had been the most affected by the country music.
"You won't die." Jiho patted Jihoon on the back, smiling feebly, the music so loud that it blurred the boy's vision.
"Yes he will. Haven't you heard of SUCS? Southern American Country Syndrome? First your eardrums bur-" Kyung was shut up by Yukwon, who shoved his iPod into Kyung's mouth.
"Too. Early." Yukwon muttered with sleep-bunched hair, shoving his earbuds even deeper into his ears, dubstep blaring out.
"Are we there yet?!" Minhyuk shrieked, trying to make cereal. Unfortunately for the elder bandmate, he was absolutely horrible at cooking, and had burnt water on many occasions. A couple of smoking bowls of cereal later he stumbled out of the kitchen, choosing to drink orange juice instead, because really, you can't mess up a glass of orange juice. That is until Minhyuk realized he had poured cereal into the bottom of his orange juice glass.
"LORD IM COMMIN' HOME TAH YOU!" the two vocalists shrieked, ignoring their fellow bandmates' yelps of pain. It was currently nine o'clock AM, and the boys had been speeding along the road for four hours straight, blaring country music way too loudly over the RV's poor little speakers.
"JAE-HOE! WHERE ARE WE GOING?!" Kyung screamed, turning off the radio. Jaehyo slowly turned to face Kyung, looking at the younger the same way a predator looks at it's prey before it tackles it and does whatever predators do.
"How dare you turn off the gorgeous sounds of Lynyrd Skynyrd? Sweet home Alabama is my jam. You are killing my jam, Kyung." Jaehyo narrowed his eyes, preparing to tackle the shorter boy.
"Just tell me where we're going! We're in the middle of nowhere Alabama! Where could we possibly going?" Kyung growled, glaring at the beautiful man in the passengers seat. Meanwhile, Taeil whistled Taylor Swift in obnoxiously loud tones as he drove at 110 miles per hour down the freeway.
"Didn't you listen to me, cucumber boy? We're going to the second largest ball of twine in America." Jaehyo sighed, grabbing his makeup bag and applying foundation.
"The second? Why not the first?" Jiho asked, now curious on why they were going to such a low-class place.
"Because the largest one is too far away!" Jihoon yelled, watering his aloe vera. The young boy had been keeping an extremely close eye on his beloved baby since Minhyuk almost gave it to a stripper on their second day in Louisiana.
"How does this guy know?" Yukwon asked, pulling one earbud out of his ears. The music he was playing was so loud that it could make bats go deaf.
"I research about giant balls of twine. Its one of my hobbies!" Jihoon chirped proudly, puffing out his chest.
"That's really odd." Minhyuk said, now a little worried about Jihoon's mental health.
"What the actual , Jihoon. What did we see in you?" Kyung asked as the entire RV fell silent, everyone staring at Jihoon.
"What?"
----
"And here it is, our city's pride and joy, our biggest accomplishment, our crown jewel, the Second Largest Ball of Twine!" an old lady who a missing a tooth (or five) crowed. The seven boys clapped in fear that if not they would be turned into frogs by the possible witch.
"I'm going to take a selca with it!" Yukwon yelled in Korean, jogging off to the huge ball of twine happily. He was planning on texting a photo to Sunhye the next time he could find wifi (and he barely had any bars out here in the desolate desert of Alabama).
"Just be sure not to unravel it!" The toothless possible witch crowed out, leaning on her old cane that was decorated with carved snakes.
"I'm going to climb to the top!" Jihoon squeaked, running off towards the huge ball of twine, which was only protected by a rather measly fence.
"That sounds like a horribly stupid idea. I'm in!" Kyung yelled and took off in the same direction as Jihoon, laughing as psychopathically as he could.
"I'm going to put this in my scrapbook!" Taeil exclaimed brightly, pulling out a Polaroid camera to take photos.
"Scrapbooking is a cry for help." Jaehyo sighed, closing his eyes and leaning against a tree.
"Y'all are lame." Jiho sighed, sitting down to watch he chaos around him unfold.
"Did you just say y'all? That's so... ratchet." Jaehyo opened one eye to cast a judgmental glare at Jiho, who was finding the grass very comfortable.
"How is y'all ratchet? How are we speaking English?" Jiho asked, coming very close to breaking the fourth wall. The Author was getting very annoyed with him.
"It just is. Also, Jihoon is most likely going to do something stupid soon. You better stop him before he breaks his face or something." Jaehyo sighed and plopped down in he grass, sunbathing in the early summer sun.
"You're older than me, you do something!" Jiho yelled back in Korean, getting a little more than worried as he stared at the boy who was gearing up to climb the giant ball of twine.
"You're the leader. Put that brain to good use, my bb cream won't solve this problem." Jaehyo rolled over to give Jiho the middle finger, the universal sign for "fix your own damn problem".
"Too late! Man overboard!" Minhyuk yelled from inside the ball of twine. How the hell Minhyuk managed to get in there the world will never know. Minhyuk claims that it involved the last piece of watermelon and a lot of mayonnaise but you can never trust a dancer. Jiho learned that the hard way.
"Dear god no!" Kyung screamed from the top as he watched the twine unravel below him. And in one great thump the world's second largest ball of twine dissolved. All eight people present stared at the lot where the twine used to be.
"I couldn't do anything about it!" Jiho screamed to no one in particular, just hoping he wouldn't take the blame. He could see it now, "Block B Kills Twine Ball" all over naver and allkpop. He would start his military service early and Kyung or Jaehyo would end up being the leader and... the rest was too horrible to think of.
"Out. Out now. You horrible hoodlums, you hooligans! You destroyed seventeen years of hard work and years of fine twine making. You deserve to be shot out of a cannon into glass!" the toothlacking possible witch screamed and Block B got the hell out of there as fast as possible.
Author's Note
I have returned! This fic is back, better (or worse) than ever! I have survived the harsh mountain hikes of west Texas, only to bring you this installment of Block B's roadtrip failures.
I updated my oneshot, Luhan, Pothead Extrordinaire a couple of days ago, so check that out for more crack. Anywhoodle, my question for y'all is: what is your favorite snack food? Answer in the comments below, along with any ideas/questions/comments and/or criticisms you may have (really yo, I love y'all's comments, silent readers are lame).
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