“Five years… five years!” Hongbin whispered into Leo’s hair, still clutching the small creature in his arms. Leo could hear by his voice that he wasn’t the only one crying, gently he patted the human’s head, his own tears starting to cloud his vision.
After a few moments like that Hongbin took a step back and looked at the Sandman standing on the desk. “I was certain you were a dream…” he carefully poked Leo, as if to check he was really there. This gesture made the Sandman smile, it was such a wonderful sight, seeing his human, even though he looked a whole lot different. Hongbin had grown a lot, almost a full sized human, and Leo, well being the Sandman he was, was only the size of a small child. He had brown straight hair, and Leo noticed the dimples he had as a child had accompanied him into his pre adulthood.

Look at you, all grown up. Leo couldn’t resist the comment. Hongbin broke into a smile, tension seemed to flow off him, puzzled the Sandman tilted his head. “It has been so long, since you spoke into my head, my dear Sandman…” the human explained. Ah, right. “Five years… and yet you don’t seem to have grown a bit!” Hongbin reached out and patted Leo’s head, earning him an evil glare, “By my calculations you should be ten, I mean that is pretty young, but you look like you’re five!”
Stupid child! Leo snapped insulted, making Hongbin only laugh more. We Sandmen are made mature already, I am far older then you! And would you dare pat an elder on his head?!
That made Hongbin hesitate “You’re older than me? How are you older than me?? Wait how does age even work with Sandmen?! Please don’t tell me I played fighter jets with an old man!” Leo smartly reached out and smacked him, but being so small it wasn’t sore but silenced the human never the less.
Sit down and pay attention! Now you are I suppose more mature, let me explain! Leo commanded, the other following obediently, taking a seat at the desk and looking as the Sandman paced up and down, over notes and books.
We Sandmen are something like partly immortal creatures. So we live forever, surprise. However we do die at some point only that point is far, far away, thus only partly immortal. New Sandmen appear in the cloud, you remember the cloud? Hongbin nodded, resting his head on the desk, look up at the Sandman with curiousity. We kind of just are there, no mother, no father, no love from anyone and with the knowledge of a young teenage- “So that would make you 22 if a young teenager is twelve years old!” Hongbin piped up, Leo his heel and glared at the human, silencing him further.
I hadn’t thought about it like that, but maybe I am 22 maybe 23. Who knows…
There was a small pause, “Leo… why didn’t you come earlier? Five years is a long time… “ the human asked quietly. Now it was Leo’s turn to hesitate.

Time passes a bit differently for Sandmen, we start at a higher level but with our almost immortal nature, we kind of… well time passes really fast for us. The mortal things, humans, life pass us really… fast…-

“Why didn’t you come earlier?” Hongbin spoke more firmly this time.
We have policies, I told you as you were small, I took care of the children of Seoul…
“So with me turning thirteen I wasn’t a ‘child’ anymore?” Leo nodded at the question, he was now sitting on the desk right in front of Hongbin’s face, trying to read the expression of the other.

“But couldn’t you have come visited me?!”
There are policies, about being seen by a human

“That hadn’t stopped you before!”
We aren’t allowed to tend to any human but those in our duties! If one of the other Sandmen saw…
“Excuses!”
I tried!

“Well apparently not hard enough!!”
I was kicked out of the cloud because I wanted to see you!! Leo was on the verge of tears again, for swearing never to cry again, today was definitely not his day. Hongbin had been looking at him with accusation in his gaze but that had now turned into shock.
“Kicked out of the cloud? What does that mean?! Tell me!!” and with that the little Sandman told him of that one night. The human listening carefully to what was being told, a concerned expression on his face. In the end Leo couldn’t help it, everything came out, the longing to see his human child but also the fear of being seen. He told him everything, the times he had tried to visit him, the dreams being the only things keeping him going, everything.

“So you were also having a hard time… I’m sorry for yelling at you” Hongbin sat up and reached out taking Leo back into his arms, the Sandman sniffing a bit as he sat there in the humans arms.
Well, I’m sorry for … erm… thought yelling at you… They had to laugh at that.
“Have you ever tried speaking? Try yelling that helps?” Leo shook his head, since leaving Hongbin he hadn’t spoken a word, let alone ‘yell’. As he told this to the human, Hongbin looked at him in mock shock, “You should try it. It gets all the frustration and anger out of your system. Like this” To demonstrate the human leant his head back and let out a might cry, Leo covered his ears in surprise, but he saw that some kind of energy seemed to flow off Hongbin. “See like that! My vocal trainer taught me to do  that! Now your turn, you might be out of practice but go for it!” the encouraging smile he gave Leo, gave the Sandman a new determination.
Why not?!

Screw the other Sandmen, screw the policies!! Screw not being able to visit Hongbin the last five years!!
Throwing back his head the little Sandman let out a mighty roar, frightening Hongbin quite a deal, “Wow! For such a small thing you, that never talks, you sure have a loud voice box!!” This made Leo feel really chuffed about himself.

Say, what did you mean ‘also having a hard time’? … You know now what happened to me… tell me what happened to you…Tell me! Hongbin sighed, looking down at the creature in his arms, his Sandman. It brought back some painful memories, he thought he didn’t have to deal with anymore.
“Where to begin…”
____
The night after Leo had stayed with him, Hongbin had excitedly saved a piece of cake for the Sandman and diligently left him a note, saying that it was chocolate and if he didn’t like it he could get him a strawberry piece tomorrow. However the next morning he was a bit surprised as both cake and note were in their exact same position as before. Strange, maybe Leo couldn’t visit him that night! Next night, he set up the cake again, this time with a fork and one of his plushies guarding it. A whole week, he had set out that piece of cake, until in the end he had come home from school and found it gone, confused he had run to his parents, who admitted on throwing it away, due to it standing around so long being unhealthy.
This had broken Hongbin’s heart, what was he going to do?! He wanted to give Leo a piece of cake. He had failed his Sandman, what should he do? He was absolutely devastated, shocking his parents as he started crying. They were very confused how emotional their son was over a piece of cake, not knowing the full story.
So, without a cake and a heavy heart Hongbin weighted that night for Leo in their little fort. He sat there brandishing his dinosaurs, already planning the battle of the torch. It was going to be brilliant. When he heard a movement in the room, here comes Leo! He excitedly darted out, prepared to surprise the Sandman, however there was no beautiful black hair, no soft smile. The thing in front of him was larger than Leo and wore no smile. “You’re not-“ was all he managed before a sudden surge of sleep washed over him. As he woke the next day, he was shocked and frightened. That thing in his room hadn’t been Leo! What was going on? Was Leo sick? That must be it! Leo was sick and that other person was substituting him.

With that thought in mind he had set up cookies and a note to ‘Get well soon, cookie monster!’ but like the cake the note and cookies weren’t moved for a whole week. Hope was one of Hongbin’s strong points, so he just told himself Leo was really really sick and he should just wait a bit longer.
Two months later, there had still not been a sign of his Sandman. All the theories he had come up with: Leo was sick, Leo had gotten lost; had all lead to nothing. Where was Leo? What was going on?
That night he set up camp in the fort, he needed to get to the bottom of it! It was late, when he finally heard movement in the room, he clutched the pillow tight, heart beating wildly. For Leo, were his last thoughts as he dashed out, whacking the thing in his room, hard, making it stumble back a bit. Damn, he was too slow, he thought, as he whacked out another time. Missing it completely, the creature was too fast and before he knew it he was in dreamland.
The next morning he woke with tears in his eyes, this wasn’t supposed to happen, dammit! He wanted answers! Again that night he lay in wait in his fort, but as he heard a sound and dashed out to confront the strange Sandman, he realized too late that the creature knew he was coming and had placed itself differently in the room. “Noo!” he yelled before sleep took him once again.
This went on for a while, sometimes Hongbin would hide in other places in the room, sometimes he was put out right away. Each morning he would wake up crying, frustrated at the failure of the night before. He felt he was failing Leo. Need to get stronger! Faster! Must know what happened to Leo.
After a few months seeing their son crying in the morning and growing more agitated as days past his parents had confronted him, but he wouldn’t tell them anything. It made them restless, Hongbin, their sweet, smiling Hongbin had lost his smile and joy. They didn’t like it! So, they had sent him to a therapist, to whom he had grown close with, and in the end told him everything. His naïve heart had opened up and told this stranger everything, that was how desperate he had been, the therapist had told his parents he had an imaginary friend and that with growning older it was beginning to become more difficult to imagine that friend. That that was the cause of their son’s distress. They had bought it, and done everything to get Hongbin better. He was allowed to try different hobbies, to vent his anger and frustration. In the end he was introduced to a vocal coach and found peace in singing. This brought not only him relief, but his family and friends. After three years, Hongbin was finally getting better, his smile had returned to his face and he wasn’t waking up crying anymore. It seemed everything was getting better.
But in secret, Hongbin was still trying to get an answer out of the Sandman in his room. It had gotten more violent, now a bit bigger then he was with thirteen the sixteen year old tried cornering the creature now. However it won and would return the next night with more strange Sandmen, to hold him down, and no matter how much he kicked, he was no match against four Sandmen. With his singing however, he managed to recover from the failure. And over the years the attempts to overwhelm the Sandmen started to subside, he’d try it once in a while. Testing the magical creatures. Never winning, even though he got close sometimes.
___
“I thought I should try tonight …just out of luck… a feeling you could say…” Hongbin managed a small smile as he looked down at the Sandman in his arms, and he faltered. Leo was looking up at him, tears silently running down his cheeks; he himself hadn’t even noticed he had started crying. This human child, now teenager, what had he done? What had he done?
I am so sorry, Hongbin! He whispered, so quiet and yet so sincere, it made Hongbin’s heart pang. Looking at the creature in his arms, made all those pent up emotions from back then come back up again, before he knew it, he was also crying, tears making their way down his cheeks, “I’m also sorry, Leo! If I had known with the policies and the age groups!”
You couldn’t have possible known, idiot! It was my fault! The little Sandman wailed, giving himself fully to the tears.
“I missed you so much Leo!” Hongbin couldn’t do this anymore; he hugged Leo tight in his arms the Sandman automaticly wrapping his arms around the human’s neck.

All those years, the doubt in Leo, the anger, the frustration. Everything was coming up and all of it! All because…

He missed him. He had missed the Sandman. He had missed him so badly; it felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest.

All those years in therapy, denying Leo, denying everything. Because he simply missed him.
I missed you too! SO much! My human, my precious human! I am so sorry! Leo felt Hongbin cry everything out, and did the same in turn. All the time, he denied his attachment to the human. Making excuses, denying him.
In the end, Hongbin, this human, who was holding him now, had been his friend. His friend! And he had just left him! How could he have done that?
Leo sobbed out all the tears he had in him, until there was nothing left to cry out. After that he could only, sniff and Hongbin’s hair as the human continued to let out all his emotions.
I am so sorry… my dear Hongbin…

“Don’t say that, Leo…” Hongbin responded, through tears, “Look where we are now, you are here… you explained everything to me… you needn’t apologize okay?”
How can you say that with tears in your eyes, Leo asked, his own tears threatening to return. As he felt Hongbin laugh the atmosphere changed.
“Oh my Leo. You have much to learn about human nature… I don’t know how Sandman do it but humans. We can find it to forgive the ones we love. So here, I’ll say it… if you stay with me, tell me everything… and be my friend once more… I forgive you…” the soft smile on his lips, it wasn’t the largest smile Leo had seen on him but it did make him look absolutely breathe taking.
Forgiveness, yes that is a concept Sandmen could learn from you humans… one which I will gladly learn from you… thank you… thank you, Hongbin!