You paced the bathroom back and forth, wringing your hands and biting your lip. You were so nervous, you didn't know what to do. You looked at the stick on the sink, then to the timer beside it.

"How could I be so stupid?!" you hissed as you kicked at the bathtub. You mentally went over everything you've done in life, to see where this bad karma could've possibly came from. You jumped when the timer went off, signalling the result was ready.

You took a deep breath as you walked toward the sink, only to choke on air when you looked down at the stick.

 

Pregnant

 

You closed your eyes as you clutched at the sink, knuckles turning white. You were only 22, and only worked part-time at a cafe. You could've sworn you took your birth control the last time you had with your boyfriend, but clearly, that wasn't the case. You felt tears stinging your eyes, knowing that this meant the end of your relationship.

 

"Oppa, how would you feel if we had a cute little one running around here?" you asked as you ran your fingers through your boyfriend's hair. He looked up at you with a raised eyebrow, face set in a pout.

"Don't you think we're a bit too young?"

"Well, yeah, but we're both working, and--"

"Exactly jagi," he cut you off as he cupped your face. "I have a hectic schedule, and you work in the mornings. Who would watch our child?" You bit your lip, realizing he had a point.

"I love kids jagi, you know I do. It's just... let's wait a few years, hm?"

 

You jumped at the sound of a door closing. You wiped your tears away as you walked towards your bedroom, grabbing a suitcase, and began to pack your things.

"Jagi! Oppa's home-- what are you doing?" You could hear the confusion in his voice as you continued to shove things into your suitcase. You knew that if you looked at him right now, you'd never be able to leave with you head held high.

"Jiyong," you started softly "I think it's time we went our separate ways." you tried to speak in an emotionless tone, knowing if you spoke with emotion, Jiyong would question you endlessly.

"This is a joke, right?" Jiyong ran to you and held onto your shoulders. "Jagi, this isn't funny--"

"I know it isn't!" you growled as you pushed his hands off of you, as you zipped up your suitcase. 

Turning around to face Jiyong, his expression was a mix of confusion and panic. You sighed as you looked at the ground.

"What's the point of being together if we barely see each other?" you whispered. "I thought I could handle dating an idol, knowing time together would be scarce, but I can't do this... not anymore."

You heard a sniffle, and closed your eyes, trying to mentally block the noises out.

"Jagi." Jiyong choked out "After the new album's done with--"

" Bull, Jiyong!" Jiyong flinched at your scream, not knowing if it was safe to speak or not. "After you complete the album, it'll get released. Then you're going to have promotions out the , then a tour. Do you think I'm stupid?!"

Jiyong looked at you, tears streaming down his face. He walked towards you, lifting your chin to have you look at him face to face.

"I don't believe you." he whispered "Look me in the eyes and say it." as much as it broke your heart to look at his tearful eyes, you looked dead at them and uttered "It's over."

You could practically hear Jiyong's heart break, and you took this as your queue to run out of the apartment.

"Forgive me Jiyong," you thought as you walked down the street, crying your heart out "I can't allow you to break my heart."

                                                                         5 Years Later

 

"Umma! Let's go get some ice cream!"

You chuckled as you walked down the busy sidewalk with your son, getting some shopping done.

"Jiyong-ah, you should eat lunch first." Your son mumbled a "Neh." with a sad tone. You shook your head as you headed into a small clothing store. "Jiyong-ah, go pick out some clothes for school, then if you behave, you can have ice cream with your lunch." Jiyong let out a happy wail and ran towards the clothing rack. You chuckled as you turned around to sit down, only to run into someone.

"Oh, excuse me sir--"

"____?"

Your eyes widened. This couldn't be possible. Not after 5 years of purposely avoiding him at all costs...

You looked up and your breath hitched.

"Jiyong oppa."

Jiyong gaped at you, trying to form a sentence. You clenched your fists by your side, praying for a way out of this situation. He coughed awkwardly and looked at the ground.

"How-How have you been?" he whispered. You bit your lip, trying to think of a response.

"Good." you replied shortly. If you kept it vague, maybe he'd go away.

"That's good... I'm a producer now." you nodded at his words. Two year after you broke up with Jiyong, BigBang broke up, all pursuing different careers.

"That's great." you replied softly. "I know how much you love producing music.

"Yeah." he replied with a sheepish chuckle. "Listen, I was--"

"Umma, I found this outfit I want!"

Jiyong looked down at the little boy pulling at your hand, to look back up at you.

"Um...ma?" You mentally cursed yourself for forgetting where you were, and that your son was a short distance away. You were rooted to the spot, blood draining from your body.

"Ahjussi, how do you know my umma?" Jiyong looked down at the child, not knowing how to respond. You snapped out of your frozen state and tried to wave the situation off, and leave as fast as possible.

"Jiyong-ah--"

"Yes?" your eyes widened a both your son and your ex answered. In turn, the boys did the same thing. It would've been quite comical, if you weren't currently about to keel over.

"Ahjussi, you have my name!" 

"Yes, it seems that way.." Jiyong looked at you with a raised eyebrow. You stood there like a gaping fish, trying to use words.

"Jiyong-ah..." Jiyong started as he knelt so he was eye-level with the boy. "Where is your appa?"

"I don't know." the boy said with a pout. "Umma said he's too busy to be around." 

You jumped and tried to cover your son's mouth, only to have adult Jiyong grab you wrist as he stood up. He looked up at you with an emotionless expression.

"I think we need to talk."

 

You and adult Jiyong were sitting at a bench at the park, watching little Jiyong play in the sandbox.

"So..." Jiyong started awkwardly "I'm assuming this is why you dumped me?" You looked over at him with wide eyes, forgetting that looking at his beautiful eyes, you could speak nothing else but the truth.

"Yes." you whispered as you felt tears form. "Y-you always talked about how we were too young, a-and I didn't want you t-to break up with me for getting pregnant, s-so I left--"

"So you lied to me?!" Jiyong hissed. "I spent years trying to figure out what I did wrong! I locked myself in my room for months after the break-up because it killed me to not have you around!"

You sobbed quietly as Jiyong went on. "I'm sorry," you whispered. "I didn't know what else to do."

"You could've told me the truth." Jiyong muttered darkly. "I would've tried to figure this out. Even if it wasn't planned, I wouldn't dump you for that."

You looked up at Jiyong with wide eyes, not completely sure if what you heard was correct. "B-but--"

Jiyong cut you off. "Yes, we were young. But I would've supported you." Jiyong cupped your face into his hands. "Jagi, you have no idea how much I missed you." 

You wailed as you threw yourself into his arms, crying into his shoulder. "Op-oppa, I'm so so-sorry." you choked out as Jiyong wrapped his arms around your waist, and kissed the top of your head.

"I forgive you jagi." he whispered. You two sat there for a few moments, just holding one another. 

"Umma, are you okay?" you looked over at your son, chuckling at his pout.

"Yes, Jiyong-ah, I'm okay." you stood up, grabbing grown Jiyong's hand. "Your appa here is just being cheesy."

"Yah!"

"Appa?" your son looked up at Jiyong with hopeful eyes. "You're my appa?" you looked over at grown Jiyong, eyes widening as you saw tears were in his eyes. He knelt down towards little Jiyong, and gave him a smile. 

"Neh. Appa's sorry he's been so busy... will you forgive him?" 

You watched as little Jiyong nodded his head quickly, running into his father's arms.

You smiled, realizing with both Jiyongs in your life, your life was just beginning.