Chapter 12: Okay since it's just an opinion, please don't hate me.
Your story is kind of plain. I mean, sure there were grammar mistakes but I could care less about that. I'm not a grammar nazi. Anyway, (IN MY OPINION PLEASE DON'T KILL ME) when I read, I didn't see the true flow of the story in my head. It sounded and seemed monotonous. I imagined them doing and talking with poker faces. The events and the flow are too fast, you weren't able to show the development of the characters' feelings and thoughts. I'm not being mean, I just want to help. I know I'm not even a writer, but I like reading :) And I'm happy to read other people's stories.
I hoped I helped, I'm not sure if you're my dongsaeng or hyung. But really, I know my opinion hurt you, even if I tried not to, but my intention was to help. (I'm really worried if you're angry or upset about this)
Please don't take it too hard. Uhm... do your best in your stories :) Don't give up and take care of yourself!! (It's off topic and I sound like a mom)
So uhm... yeah. My opinion... uhh… yeah. *awkward cough*
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