Jongin can't sleep.

He's been thinking about things. Or thinking about someone, precisely. He's been thinking about him. He's reminiscing his sweet voice, remembering his beautiful face, reliving his innocent smile.

He's been stuck in time. It wasn't his choice, but he's trapped. He blames destiny for it.

"Hey baby! You know I love you so much, right? But do you really know exactly how much?" the loving voice said with a giggle, and Jongin was torn between smiling and cursing himself for suffering over the same thing over and over again.

The voice continued on. "I love you like how gravity keeps everything earthbound, baby. Like how anyone can jump as high as they want then fall back on the ground after. Like how birds can fly and soar sky high but still gets down on earth no matter what."

Jongin shut his eyes closed in an attempt to control his tears from falling, but it wouldn't. "I love you like how a little kid loves a balloon, like how he would love to let it go and see it float up to the sky, but he wouldn't let it go coz he loves the thing so much to set it free."

"I love you like how astronomers love the stars and how pirates love the seas. I love you like you're the entire meaning of my life and everything about me is bound to you." the voice continued to say through the speaker. Jongin wiped his teary eyes in despair.

"I will love you even if it becomes illegal for humans to fall in love. I will continue to love you coz I know you are an angel."

Jongin cringed at the way his heart felt like it was being stabbed from within. It's too much for him to bear yet he still listen to it expectantly, as if he still hasn't heard everything that voice mail has to say.

"Happy anniversary, baby! I love you so much!" the voice said giddily, then a beeping sound came after and the phone fell silent.

Jongin stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, and then he tapped on his phone again and another beep came from the device. "Hey, baby..." he said in a cracking voice while bringing the phone near his lips, trying to record his own voice as clearly as he could.

It is a reply. Jongin knew it wouldn't reach him, but he would still like to try.

"That 1 minute and 23 seconds of your voice meant the entire world for me. That's how I love you, baby..." he said, voice cracking and trembling at the sobs he is trying to control. Jongin is broken. "I love you like how I would always visit your grave and wish you wouldn't have to die, like how I wish you were instead standing beside me, holding my hand like you'd always do."

"I love you like how I would wake up every single morning wishing that I'll still get to see your smile beaming at me from my side before I kiss you and greet you good morning. I love you like how I wish I can still embrace you in my arms, talk with you about our future and our dreams together until we both fall asleep."

Jongin let out a whimper. He already lost track of how many times he listened to his boyfriend's recorded voice, but the pain still lingered and not made things better.

"I love you like how much you love me... And holy I just love you so much, you know?! It's too unfair, please come back..." he said before dropping the phone and letting himself cry hard. Jongin is tearing himself apart.

"Please..." he pleaded desperately. "Come back..."

But Jongin's pleas were useless. It would no longer reach him.

"Please..."

He knows it would no longer reach him.

But he would still like to try.