Your mother is beautiful.” Like you. That was the first thing Ryu Hwan could think of saying when he entered the password protected studio, with the help of some female drawing majors who caught sight of him and were more than eager to key in the password for entry. 

“I know.” Came the subdued reply.

When Ryu Hwan entered, everyone else had already left, except for Hae Jin, who was facing a clean sheet of canvas, seated with his back facing Ryu Hwan. On a small table next to him, was what he assumed was the younger man’s project - a beautifully painted piece of his mother, who looked like she was taking a whiff of a dish that she’d just made. Problem was that the canvas looked like it had been cut into big shreds by a drawing knife. 

There was no saving for that painting, Ryu Hwan knew. 

Ryu Hwan wanted to comfort the boy, he really did. But he knew that wasn’t what Hae Jin needed most now. 

“What’s the plan now? Any extension to your submission?” He asked, while moving closer to the hunched figure. 

Hae Jin shook his head, “The professor is furious with what happened, but would prefer that I stick to the date of submission. By right, we are supposed to complete this piece in school.  But in lieu of what  has happened, he has kindly allowed me to complete a new piece at home if I want to.” 

“You’re probably not gonna be re-painting your mother, right? Any inspiration yet?” 

“I can’t re-paint her now,... maybe later on when my perspective becomes fresher again. Besides, I’m too agitated to give justice to her now. I’ve been staring at this blank canvas trying to calm myself down to let in new ideas, but... I don’t know. The professor has the security tapes and he’s hell bent on catching the culprit, but it’s not going to bring back the painting, so I’m not interested to know who did it.” 

Ryu Hwan studied the younger man, who looked pale. Probably still reeling from the nasty surprise. Drawing in the place where it happened wasn’t going to help either.

So Ryu Hwan decided for the boy.

Grabbing Hae Jin’s bag next to the drawing board, he packed in the few belongings of Hae Jin’s that littered the small table, and carefully placed the torn canvas into an unused bag of his.

Turning around, he ruffled the boy’s head. “Let’s go.”

“...Hyung, where are we going?” 

Shooting the confused boy a crooked smile, Ryu Hwan moved to open the studio door before replying. 

“Home.”

-------

The trip back to Hae Jin’s home had been solemn and subdued. It definitely didn’t help that his mother had called the boy when they were about to leave school, asking if he was well. 

“Umma I’ve been so busy today I forgot to call you. This week has been fine. Training is doing well and school is good. Mid-terms are coming, so I’m a bit stressed out, but nothing I cannot handle. Neh, you eat well too. Jong mal bo go shi po yo.” 

When they reached the shophouse, Ryu Hwan had told the younger boy to head up first to freshen up before starting his work. The boy was clearly in no state of mind to cook now, so Ryu Hwan decided to take things in his own hands, and he entered the eatery owned by the old owners. 

The moment Ryu Hwan entered, Haraboji came over to ask if Hae Jin was alright. 

“Aigoo, the little one looked so pale when I saw him arrive just now! Yeobo, pack up some dinner for the two boys! The weather is getting cold, you boys must remember to eat right.” Halmeoni, who was busy cooking for other customers, immediately went into the back of their kitchen to prepare dinner for the two boys.

Taking a huge tray filled with piping hot food over from the loving Haelmoni, Ryu Hwan bowed gratefully, as the old couple waved for him to quickly join their young tenant upstairs. 

--------

“Haraboji and Halmeoni really treat you like their grandson. They adore you.”

Hae Jin had walked out of the shower as soon as Ryu Hwan finished arranging their dinner on the kitchen table. 

Taking a seat next to Ryu Hwan, Hae Jin nodded while smiling, “I adore them. They’re like the grandparents I never had. They always worry about me. It feels nice to be mothered by two loving grandparents even when I’m here alone in Seoul.”

“Then maybe I should have you meet my parents. They have too much love to go around just one son.” Ryu Hwan joked, causing the younger boy to chuckle into his bowl.

Encouraged by Hae Jin’s laughter, Ryu Hwan continued, “You know, Hae Rang and my parents get along so well, that he actually owns a whole set of my childhood home videos that my parents recorded when I was younger? My parents duplicated the whole collection and gave it to Hae Rang in exchange for the drunken video he took of me. Then there was when I dated Suzy. I swear my parents bribed that bastard to keep check on me. No matter where we went, what we did, Hae Rang would always appear at the worst moments - when I tried to hug her, or kiss her, or anything. You know the rush you feel when you first hold a girl’s hand? For me, it probably came more from the fact that Hae Rang didn’t appear to ruin the moment, than actually holding her hand. I swear that bastard was hell bent on ruining it for me. Which he did in the end, because Suzy couldn’t deal with the ‘bromance’. Whatever that meant.”

By then, Hae Jin was guffawing aloud, slapping his unused left hand on his thigh while holding the table to steady himself with his right. 

Success. Ryu Hwan allowed himself a grin. 

“What about you? Never gotten yourself a -crazy best friend to ruin your life?” 

Hae Jin sobered for a moment between laughs, before grinning in reply, “I’ve never had the luck to meet one like yours. But Master Park did always encourage me to open my heart up more. Said I would need them, ‘those who fought and lived like you do.’ But I never really pondered on these words before, to be honest. Between studying, training, and earning money to help my mother, I didn’t have much time.”

Let me be that for you. 

“Just don’t end up with someone like Lee Hae Rang, and you should be good to go.” Hae Jin dissolved into another chuckle. Ryu Hwan decided to keep the conversation light. Lee Hae Jin was in for a tough night. The least he could do was to ease up the fighter before he started painting. 

While clearing up the dishes together, Ryu Hwan looked over at the painting displays, looking for the one charcoal sketch that he saw previously. Strange, it wasn’t there. 

“Where’s the charcoal sketch, Hae Jin-ah?” 

“Oh! I took it down because I was just going to put up the new one! It should still be on the drawing board, you should go take a look.” Hae Jin motioned the older boy to go ahead, and took over the tray from him, to head to the kitchen.

When Ryu Hwan saw the sketch, he couldn’t breathe. It’s almost as if he could feel the heartbreak of the fighter. What a painful picture. 

His heart clenched painfully. 

He had to look away. 

Then it hit him. 

“Hae Jin-ah... you’re drawing portraits for the mid-term, right?”

--------

The apartment was quiet. Ryu Hwan wrote, Hae Jin drew.

Initially, Hae Jin had been reluctant to paint the drawing. ‘It is but a dream. It seems too personal... too flippant to be shown.”

But Ryu Hwan had pressed on. ‘Dream or not, it is too good a piece to only be seen by the two of us. You should paint it, Hae Jin-ah.” He had however, made Hae Jin promise. “The charcoal sketch, however, will be only for our eyes.”

Hae Jin had seemed content with the suggestion. 

Five hours into the night, Hae Jin was still drawing, and Ryu Hwan was still pondering. 

Did Bang Dong Gu really kill himself? 

On the last day he was seen in the village, he tied up loose strings with his close neighbors. Dong Gu had cared, too much in fact. And then there was Dong Gu’s last letter to his Mother.

“Mother, I don’t know if I can give you the letters, I don’t know. Not long ago, I got a big assignment. I just need to accomplish it, then I can be a hero. Even if I can’t be a hero, I can still live with mother. Please take care of your health. Until I am reunited with you.”  

Ryu Hwan wasn’t sure if Dong Gu did kill himself, but he knew the spy wasn’t a monster that he had set out to be. Bang Dong Gu had grown to care immensely for his second family, and the two undercover spies that joined him in the last months of his life. Dong Gu had trained to be one of the best spies around in exchange for his Mother’s safety, though somehow, Ryu Hwan had a feeling that the republic would not have kept their word. 

The three spies had disappeared around the same time, and on the list, their death dates were the same. 

Did they die together, by choice?  

What was Dong Gu thinking of in his last living moments? 

There was too little evidence to decide now. 

Looks like he needed to make another trip to the village in Incheon over this weekend. Ryu Hwan had never been this involved in a project before, to the point that he was dreaming of Bang Dong Gu and what could have happened to him. It was overwhelming.

Actually,... in the letters, Dong Gu talks quite a fair bit about the younger comrade captain of his. His concern for the younger man is very telling... I wonder if homouality was even acknowledged then? This would be another angle I could explore... if only I could find out more!

Just then, Ryu Hwan heard Hae Jin resting into the back of his chair as he let out a shaky breath. The older boy stopped his musings.

“It’s done.” Hae Jin breathed quietly. 

Silently, Ryu Hwan stood up from his seating mat in the living room and walked to the younger boy’s side to view the completed work. Whatever he felt from the charcoal sketch, could not compare to seeing the completed work in colour. 

Ryu Hwan was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions that took over him. Unexplainable emotions, feeling he never felt at such depth surged into his being. He could not peel his eyes away from the sad figure. 

It was raining. The soaked figure was drenched in the raindrops, as well as blood... that looked like his own. The stoic expression was doused in melancholy, he looked like he was crying. He looked like he had given up. What did he lose? What broke him? Who is he?

Slender fingers touched Ryu Hwan’s cheek, wiping of a trail of wetness from his cheek. 

Was I crying? 

Ryu Hwan turned his gaze to the younger boy, who had stood up to wipe the captain’s unexpected tears. The boy’s eyes were red, he was tearing too. The older boy moved closer and used both his hands to wipe Hae Jin’s tears away. 

“I’m so sorry.” Ryu Hwan apologized. For what, he did not know. But he felt he needed to. 

Tearing once again upon hearing Ryu Hwan’s apology, Hae Jin shook his head. “I almost couldn’t finish the picture... by the end of it, I was choking in my own tears. This dream is so vivid, it almost feels like-”

“Like you were there too.” Ryu Hwan finished the younger boy’s sentence. 

Nodding his head, Hae Jin took in a deep breath before sighing. “It was a good journey. This painting. Thank you for being by my side, Hyung.”

I want to always be by you side. 

Moving closer, Ryu Hwan gave Hae Jin a hug, and ruffled his head. Whispering into the boy’s ear, “You did well today, Hae Jin-ah. You fought, and you won. This picture is moving, it’s outstanding, it’s emotional. I’m glad to have been here to witness this journey with you.”

“I don’t think it could have been with anyone else, Hyung.” 

Then let it always be me. 

--------

Hae Rang and Ryu Hwan were on their way to the drawing faculty’s mid-term display of their students’ works. According to Ryu Hwan, Hae Rang ‘had to see Hae Jin’s drawing, it’ll blow you away’. 

Blow him away it did.

Ryu Hwan did not miss the flash of shock that stopped Hae Rang’s loud laughter (he was boasting that he could keep 16 marshmallows in his mouth at one time) when he saw the portrait.  

“Amazing, right? He received top grades for this.” Ryu Hwan smiled proudly.

[Take me to him] - That was the title of the portrait. It was open for interpretation. It was a good title. It could be understood in many ways. But Ryu Hwan also knew that these words were what Hae Jin had said in his dreams. To whom, he did not know.

Hae Rang was getting emotional, Ryu Hwan could tell. If he didn’t know the musician that well, he looked like just another of the other students admiring the mastery of Hae Jin’s. But the captain saw Hae Rang’s clenched jaw and slight frown. He knew Hae Rang could understand the depth of the portrait.

Finally, Hae Rang let out a small chuckle, and muttered something in an accent that Ryu Hwan couldn’t understand fully. 

‘Saekki’, 'finally', ‘faster than hyung’, ‘remember’. That’s all Ryu Hwan caught. “Yah! What are you talking about?” 

“Nothing you slow idiot. Aish. Slow. Tsk. Too slow. Aish! Let’s go, Hae Jin is waiting in the cafeteria.” Hae Rang drawled. The musician let out a sigh, and let out a huge laugh as he left the stunned captain standing in his spot.

I’ll never understand this -crazy musician.

--------

Author's notes: ANNYEONG YEOROBUN! :D It's me again! I wanna say thanks to everyone who've commented and subscribed so far, it's really heartening and encouraging for me. It's been a long while since I wrote a fic, so if I err in any way pls don't hesitate to tell me :) Anw, this chapter was by far the hardest to write. I'm not sure why, but it took me so long to come up with something I was satisfied with! If you saw the number of drafts I deleted, you would think I'm crazy! Anw, it's over, and I'm REALLYYYY looking forward to the next few chapters hehehehe. Naruchannn might like one of them :P See you guys in the next chapter! 

<3 bodhicittaseeds