Ryu Hwan had came back from his weekend Incheon trip empty-handed. It had been an exhausting trip that disappointed him. He had looked around the places that he’d read of in Bang Dong-gu’s letters, but they all came out empty. While most families remembered the tales of Bang Dong-gu passed down by the older generation, none of them had anything else to offer. Besides the letters that were kept by Jo Doo-Suk, there was nothing much left in the village town that Ryu Hwan could find to help him understand the spy more. It was understandable of course, since all these items lost its significance once the older generation left. 

But he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Somehow he had felt that the village town would hold the answers that he desperately wanted to know. 

“...looking at the wrong places.” 

That was Hae Rang’s first response to Ryu Hwan’s dismal search, when he came in for the first morning practice of the week. He had rolled his eyes then, at the unconcerned musician. Besides teasing him and his search for the village idiot, Hae Rang had been nothing but tickled. Ryu Hwan didn’t know when the search became so personal to him, but he was hell bent on understanding the 3 spies of the Incheon village town. 

The orange-haired musician might not appear concerned, but he still listened intently when Ryu Hwan made known his thoughts on his search. 

That was enough. 

Hae Rang always tried his hardest to be the worst best friend to him, but Ryu Hwan could see through the musician’s facade. That was how Hae Rang expressed himself in the friendship of theirs. 

Ryu Hwan was sure, that when the time called for it, he could count on Hae Rang to have his back. If he wasn’t sure, he wouldn’t have downed the obviously spiked green tea last week. He couldn’t remember most of the night after he got drunk, but whatever that happened, he woke up with his heart feeling lighter than the previous day. 

And that was enough.

“Yah. Stop talking to yourself, people will think you’re going crazy because of your mad search for the village idiot. Aish, jin ja.” 

“I wasn’t thinking of my research, you bastard.” Right when I feel grateful towards you... 

It was true however, that his disappointing search was the last thing on his mind now. 

Ryu Hwan had returned to the school dojang on Monday, knowing that he could count on the two boys to put some fresh perspective into his disappointing search. Hae Rang played his role of the flippant best friend perfectly, but Hae Jin - who usually gave new insights and encouraged him - was missing. 

It was strange that the younger boy did not notify him beforehand of his absence, because he usually did. Hae Jin was a responsible boy. But Ryu Hwan had let it go albeit grudgingly,... he just missed him. 

But then, Hae Jin did not turn up for Taekwondo practice as well. When he had questioned the club, the only answer he got from the teacher-in-charge was that Hae Jin was on approved school leave due to ‘personal reasons that cannot be disclosed’.

One day turned into two. Two days turned into three. Three turned into four days. None of his messages received any reply or acknowledgement from the lower classman. Ryu Hwan’s initial disappointment grew into a gnawing worry. 

It didn’t help that Hae Rang had started to worry with guilt on the third day. 

“Yah... I might’ve said something to Hae Jin last week. About you and him.” Ryu Hwan had promptly kneed the musician in his abdomen. 

It didn’t matter what the nosy best friend had said, but it helped that he felt guilty enough to accompany him to where they were headed to now. 

Hae Jin’s home.

-------

“Aish, if that little rascal really missed school because of what I said, I’m gonna knock some sense into his pretty little head!” Hae Rang exclaimed dramatically, while kicking off imaginary rocks on the pavement.

“Pretty?” Ryu Hwan quipped, as nonchalantly as he could, as both of them locked their bicycles opposite Hae Jin’s house.

“Yah shibbal... Anyone with eyes can appreciate the work of art that Lee Hae Jin is, ok? Not only you, you dog.” 

Ryu Hwan chose to remain silent. 

He pointed to the shophouses where Hae Jin lived and the both of them went on their way. Ryu Hwan wasn’t in the mood to talk. He was worried for the younger boy, but so was Hae Rang. And in situations like this one, the musician could not seem to stand long drawn silences very well. Ryu Hwan counted down.

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

“...You going to Incheon this weekend again to find our Dong-gu?” 

“Yes.” 

This was how Lee Hae Rang coped with bad situations - through nonsense talk. 

“Well,... you never know... you might find out more than just what Dong-gu used to wear. Ha! Since green is also your favorite colour, maybe you should try wearing a green jumpsuit when you trai-” Hae Rang was guffawing as he replied the stoic captain. 

“Shut up, you bastard. We’re here.” Ryu Hwan cut off the musician’s useless chatter as he spotted the shophouse halmoni waving frantically to them as they walked over.

“Ryu Hwan-ah! Aigoo I’m so relieved to see you! Are you here to visit our Hae Jin? He went back to his Daegu hometown four days ago! The poor boy was so pale when he left. How I wish I could follow him if my body weren’t so weak these days...The poor boy-”

A chill ran up his spine. 

“Halmoni, what happened? Is Hae Jin ok?” 

Please be ok. 

“Did he not tell you? Aigoo the little one always bears such burdens alone! Both his parents got into a car accident, and he lost his father. His mother is now in the hospital, though I’m not too sure how bad the injuries are... Aish the poor boy...”

Ryu Hwan felt a nauseating sort of panic take over him, as a million thoughts ran through his mind. The situation did not bode well. He knew Hae Jin and his mother cut all ties with his abusive father, who was imprisoned for abusing his mother. That meant that his father was released, and he had somehow found Hae Jin’s mother, managed to get her into a car, before killing himself  and injuring her in the process.

What sick plan was that? 

And Hae Jin didn’t think to confide in anyone. Ryu Hwan knew the younger boy did not have much of an extended family back in Daegu. Hae Jin went back to face the death of a father he loathed, and care for his injured mother. Alone. Ryu Hwan was heartbroken and angry. Heartbroken that Hae Jin decided that he had to shoulder this alone. Angry that he was not there next to him. 

It hurt. 

Master Jung, I am lacking still.

No. 

“Halmoni, do you by chance happen to know where he lives in Daegu?” Ryu Hwan asked.

“Ay I do not... Miyane, Ryu Hwan-ah. I should have asked him for it when he first moved in to prevent situations like this from happening! Aish I really should hav-”

“Halmoni, it’s okay. Nobody expected this. Gwenchana, I have my ways. Thank you. Do not worry too much, take care of yourself. Leave it to me. We’ll be leaving first.” Ryu Hwan quickly comforted the worried shop owner as both boys bowed and left the shophouse restaurant. 

Ryu Hwan sped up his steps. He had an idea that could work if he was in time. School records, yes. I could break into...

“Captain. Don’t tell me you’re just gonna leave for Daegu like this?” Hae Rang grabbed his shoulders as they reached their bikes.

“Ani, I was going to... ask the school administration for his address.” 

Hae Rang paused for a moment before answering seriously, “Let’s take a chance. Hopefully it’ll speed things up a bit.” The musician pulled his arm back towards the shophouse and started climbing the stairs, only to turn back when the confused captain stopped at the start of the shophouse stairs. 

“Pali! We don’t have much time! You gotta lead the way, captain! I don’t know where the hell he lives!” 

--------

If Hae Jin’s situation wasn’t weighing down on his mind now, Ryu Hwan thought he would’ve been more flabbergasted than he was now. Hae Rang was currently fiddling with 2 slim metal picks and the door knob of Hae Jin’s house. 

“You pick locks?”

“You do too.” 

“No I don’t.” 

“...Shut up and let me do my job.”

Ryu Hwan didn’t know how, but Lee Hae Rang was a pro at breaking into homes.

They broke into Hae Jin’s apartment within a few minutes. Hae Rang immediately rattled on, “Health records. School forms. School letters. Letters to home. Search his work table, and his bedroom.”

Ryu Hwan didn’t know how, but Lee Hae Rang was a pro at snooping and finding information. 

Ryu Hwan found the Daegu address in a school application form filed neatly on Hae Jin’s work table. 

“Bingo.” Hae Rang grinned slyly.

--------

Ryu Hwan was currently seated in an evening train bound for Daegu. It had taken him an hour to settle all he needed to for the rest of the week. He didn’t know how long he would take, over at Daegu, but he made sure to inform the school administration and his team of his absence. Since project season was over and term holidays were only a week away, it was relatively easy for Ryu Hwan to win the school system. He had never been more grateful of his position in school - as Captain and top student of his department. His lecturers had allowed him to self-study till the end of the term. Taekwando trainings were planned carefully right when school had started, all he needed was the seniors to carry out the plan as agreed. 

When he informed his parents of his plans, they had been more supportive than anything.  “Oh my the poor boy... Call us if you need any help from us, arasou? Your appa and I will help.” Ryu Hwan’s mother had said worriedly over the phone. 

‘Yah! Tell Hae Jin to read my messages and to reply them!’ The seemingly unconcerned musician had messaged him after sending him off at the train station. Butthead, just admit that you’re worried. 

With all other attachments off his mind, he could concentrate on helping Hae Jin. 

Now that he had some time to recollect his thoughts, Ryu Hwan began to prepare himself mentally. He did not know how Hae Jin was dealing with such heartbreaking news, he had to tread carefully. The situation was not a simple one. 

Hae Jin’s beloved mother was injured because of the abusive father of his, who died in the car accident. 

He did not know many things. He did not know how he would be able to help Hae Jin. 

All he knew, was that he wasn’t going to let Hae Jin shoulder this alone.

Please be ok. 

3 hours later, Ryu Hwan reached the Daegu train station, managed to find the fastest bus to Hae Jin’s hometown, and was now heading towards the general direction of the younger boy’s house. He did not know where exactly the funeral was held at, but he had made sure to research all possible places near Hae Jin’s place that could hold a funeral. After a few tries, he finally found the right funeral. As expected, the funeral wasn’t held at Hae Jin’s place, but at a funeral service parlor some streets away from the hospital in the town. By the time he reached the parlor, it was already a little past 10 o’clock. 

Ryu Hwan peered in from the entrance of the gates.

The funeral parlor looked quiet from the outside. A lone figure was seated on the floor mat on the right. 

Brown hair, slim built, strong posture.

He let out a deep breath. 

Found you.

Going straight to the front, he first paid his respects to the man who hurt the one he cared immensely for. He would do the minimum. In his periphery, he spotted the lone figure on the right walking over to him. 

“Hyung?” Surprise was written over the younger man’s face. 

“Hae Jin-ah...” Hae Jin was in a black suit, hemp arm bend on his left arm. Ryu Hwan took his time to look over the tired looking man. Hae Jin wasn’t sleeping well. I wonder if he remembered to eat.

“Why are you here?” The younger man asked quietly, as he frowned lightly. Earlier on, Ryu Hwan had saw that the top of the coffin was bare of the usual floral adornments one would expect to see at a funeral. That meant not many people were here to visit, and Hae Jin was definitely mostly alone here.

All Ryu Hwan wanted to do was to lock the boy in an embrace. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” It’s ok to lean on me, Hae Jin-ah. 

“Hyung...” Ryu Hwan ignored the younger boy, and went on to rest his hands on Hae Jin’s shoulders.

“Now tell me what I can do to help you.” 

--------

Two days later, Hae Jin’s father was buried in a quiet procession at a public cemetery near the outskirts of the town. 

The funeral had lasted for a long seven days, Hae Jin had extended the funeral out of respect for his father’s family, who lived outside of Daegu, but none of them came to help or even pay respects to their family member. 

All this time, Hae Jin alternated between the funeral and the hospital. When Ryu Hwan had reached, Hae Jin could visit his mother at the hospital without having to trouble old neighbors to stand vigil at the wake. When Hae Jin visited his mother, Ryu Hwan would take care of the wake. Meals were taken care of by Hae Jin’s old neighbors, who would drop by to leave them packed food. Everything fell into place nicely, it worked out somehow. 

Yet, Ryu Hwan worried. 

The younger boy had barely spoken since he arrived. In fact, Ryu Hwan probably only heard 3 sentences from him 

“Hyung, I’m going to the hospital.”

“Hyung, I’m back.”

“Hyung, I’m going to rest.”

Nothing else.

--------

Three days had passed since the funeral. 

The creeping worry Ryu Hwan had when he first saw Hae Jin at the wake, only grew. 

From the outside, it looked like he was dealing well. In the snippets of conversations between old neighbors, everyone commended the young man for his strength. Hae Jin definitely looked the part. He smiled when he thanked his neighbors for their help, he entertained the guests who came to pay their respects, and he constantly called for updates from the hospital without fail. 

All this time, Hae Jin’s smile did not reach his eyes. In fact, Ryu Hwan had hoped to find a glimpse of any emotion, sadness, anger, whatnot. 

But they were empty. 

Ryu Hwan had allowed Hae Jin’s facade to play out through the entire funeral. But now that it had ended, he was not going to let this perpetuate any longer. 

They were both fighters. He would beat Hae Jin back into life if he had to. Master Jung had often talked about emptiness - empty the mind to focus in the fight. This emptiness Ryu Hwan saw, however, was going to devour the younger man from inside out.

Hae Jin’s eyes were never meant to look like this. 

Not when he was around to make sure of that. 

No fighter would.

“Hyung, I’m back.” The soft voice of Hae Jin’s filled his home as he entered. Ryu Hwan put down the dishes he was currently washing and walked out of the kitchen to greet the younger boy. 

“Annyeong, Hae Jin-ah. How’s your mother?”

Till now, he knew little of what happened. He only knew after hearing from the conversations of the rare visitor, that Hae Jin’s mother was still unconscious after suffering a blow in the head. 

“She’s still unconscious, but doctors say it’ll take a while before she awakens due to the surgery that they’d done for her. So far her vital signs are fine.” 

“Ah.. I see. Have you taken your dinner? I just finished washing the containers to return to Mrs Han tomorrow.” 

“Neh, I have eaten as well.” Hae Jin smiled politely at the older boy. 

Ryu Hwan hated the smile with his whole being. He clenched his jaw as he joined the younger boy in the living room. 

He was not going to let this go. 

There’s no time better than now.

The silence hung over the two of them. 

Hae Jin raised his head, breaking the silence first.

“...Hyung, I’m going to rest-”

“It’s early.”

“...Neh.”

Silence. 

“Hyung, I’ll go do the dishe-”

“I’ve done it already.” 

“Thank you.”

Silence. 

“Hyung, I’ll go return the dishes to Mrs Ha-”

“She’s not at home. She called to say she’d pick it up tomorrow.”

“...oh.”

Silence.

“Hyung, so when are you going back-”

“When you are.”

A flash of frustration crossed the younger man’s face. Success, Ryu Hwan thought. Of course, it pained him to treat the younger boy callously, but it was necessary. 

The comforting could come later.

Hae Jin started again.

“Hyung, you should not wait-” 

“Where’s Master Park’s dojang?” 

“...A few streets away.”

“It opens till late?”

“Neh.” 

“I’m going to train.” Ryu Hwan stood up from his floor mat to prepare his gear. Hae Jin looked relieved. 

“Okay. Let me call the dojang to inform them. I’ll draw you a map so you can-”

“I don’t need a map.”

“You don’t?”

“You’re coming with me.”

---------

“Let’s spar today.” Ryu Hwan said sternly, as he looked around Master Park’s dojang hall. It was empty, all except for the two of them, now that it was quickly approaching 8 o’clock, everyone else had gone home.

“...Neh.” Hae Jin muttered hesitantly as they changed into their training attire. 

Back at home, Hae Jin had resisted. But he had ran out of logical reasons, and Ryu Hwan was not taking no for an answer. 

“You’re part of this year’s main competition team. You’ve missed a week. I gave you time to yourself. Now, you have time. Make up for it.” Ryu Hwan had said mercilessly. Hae Jin couldn’t argue with the Captain now, could he?

Both boys walked to the center of the hall. 

“Ready?”

“Yes, captain.”

And it started.

Ryu Hwan attacked immediately.

Hae Jin defended himself flawlessly, as usual. This was what separated a normal fighter from a well-trained one. Even with a shaken mind, a well-trained fighter could still hold his own. Ryu Hwan did not expect anything less from Lee Hae Jin. 

But this wasn’t his goal today. He wasn’t going to train. He was going to break Lee Hae Jin. 

Hae Jin attacked with a swift side kick. Ryu Hwan took the blow. Using the blow, he moved in nearer to the younger fighter and gave him a few hard punches on his abdomen. Hae Jin looked shocked at the severity of the blows he received. Ryu Hwan smirked.

Ryu Hwan knew his strength lay in his impeccable defense, but not today. He was going full-offensive. 

5 minutes into the fight, Ryu Hwan attacked relentlessly, striking harder blows than usual.

Hae Jin looked puzzled, perhaps wondering at Ryu Hwan’s callousness, as he defended another of Ryu Hwan’s jump kick. 

“Hyung...”

“Mmm.” Ryu Hwan answered quickly, just before dodging Hae Jin’s upper right cut. 

“Your blows today...”

“Too much for you?” 

“Yes, I mean no, they are-”

“Maybe if you shut up and focused, you’d be able to fight me better, comrade. This is getting boring. What would Master Park say if he saw you fighting li-” Ryu Hwan drawled, as viciously as he could. 

A swift kick to his side sent Ryu Hwan reeling onto the ground. He looked up at the younger fighter.

Hae Jin’s eyes burned. His fists were clenched, and his jaws were tensed.

Ryu Hwan smirked. So,... Master Park. I’ve seemed to have touched a sore spot. 

“That’s more like it.” Ryu Hwan recovered from the fall and grinned. 

Wordlessly, Hae Jin swooped in for the kill. 

Kick after kick, punch after punch. 

It took only a few blows before Ryu Hwan realized that Hae Jin wasn’t sparring anymore. He was attacking blindly, wherever and whenever he could. He dodged the blows, but he allowed the blind attacks to continue. Hae Jin threw a hard punch onto Ryu Hwan’s shoulder. Ryu Hwan ree of his own, as the younger fighter spoke, “They said he intended to take my mother away. When my mother struggled against him, he lost focus and hit the tree.”

Another back kick came his way as Ryu Hwan blocked it. The younger man laughed bitterly, “I didn’t cry when they told me he died. What should I feel? I don’t know.”

“Anger?” Another sharp side kick. 

“Sadness?” Upper left cut. 

Ryu Hwan grabbed the boy by his wrists, and pushed him away from himself.

Hae Jin’s face darkened as he approached the captain again.

“Hatred? That I feel. Because if he didn’t die, I think I would’ve killed him. The accident shouldn’t have killed him, I should have. The car accident let him off too lightly. He was lucky to have died in the crash.”

“Hae Jin-ah...” Ryu Hwan’s words was cut off suddenly, as the younger boy leaped forward and delivered a kick to his abdomen. Ryu Hwan leaped backwards to lighten the blow. Hae Jin immediately came forward to continue his blows. Ryu Hwan moved back as he blocked Hae Jin’s kicks. 

“He wouldn’t have died so easily if I was the one doing it.” 

Roundhouse kick. Dodge. 

“It would have been a slow, and painful death. Oh... how I’ve thought about it.” 

Hook Kick. Dodge. 

Ryu Hwan’s back hit the wall. Hae Jin moved forward with a punch to the captain’s left. Ryu Hwan barely dodged it as he moved his face away.

“Don’t you see, Captain? I am capable of violence.” Hae Jin’s right fist landed on the wooden dojang wall next to Ryu Hwan’s face. 

“I could hurt you. I could hurt anyone I love.” The sound of the contact had echoed through the hall. 

“Hae Jin-ah...”

“Look at the irony. I’m my father’s son, at the end of it all.” He landed his left fist hard against Ryu Hwan’s right side. Hae Jin laughed bitterly as he whispered. Ryu Hwan didn’t bother dodging the rest of the blows that came. The blows to his abdomen came relentless, but they were careless and weak. 

Hae Jin had broken.

“Listen to me...”

The blows stopped. Hae Jin’s fists bled.

“I could end up like him.” The statement came almost like a cold realization to the younger fighter. Hae Jin stared at his fists mutely.

Ryu Hwan grabbed both of Hae Jin’s wrists as he spun them around the dojang wall. With Hae Jin against the wall now, Ryu Hwan delivered a last controlled punch onto Hae Jin right jaw. 

It’s over.

Ryu Hwan gazed at the younger fighter in front of him, who looked shocked and lost after receiving the punch on the face. He whispered.

“Hae Jin-ah...”

He waited. 

Hae Jin slowly raised his eyes to meet his.

Ryu Hwan smiled tenderly at the silent younger fighter, as he covered his bleeding fists with his own hands.

“I won’t let you.” 

And then he kissed him. 

And then came tears. 

Kamsamhamnida, Ryu Hwan thanked the heavens.

The first tears he had seen in the whole week.