♥  @;}- ♥

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~ IU P.O.V ~

Here I am busy updating him the latest juices on all of our friends' life, there he is day dreaming. I'm pissed. No wonder he has been silence all the time I was blabbering. He is busy admiring the scenery of the lake in front of us. I wonder who is he day dreaming of?

Yuri unnie?

Yoona unnie?

Ailee unnie?

I'm so jealous. I could not help it but feeling sadden because I know that it is not me that is on his mind.

"Oppa...!!" I deliberately add a bit more of aegyo-ness that I know will always do the trick to grab his attention. I am totally mesmerised by his bright smile when he turn to face me. I heave a sigh of contentment. And that just makes him widen his sweet smile.

"Aigoo...what's the matter, Jieunnie?" He ruffled my already wind-blown hair but I was quick to avoid his hand. I just didn't like him to treat me like I am a small kid. His action really shows that our relationship is nothing more than a sibling. I don't want him to treat me like one. I want more than it is. Well it has been 5 years now.

His face expression change to a bit serious. I know this is because of my action. But I just can't help it no more. I do not know that lately I have been feeling a bit of impatient with the slow progress in our relationship. The normal feeling of optimistic has gradually wane off and replace with the feeling of pessimistic. I do not know where has that comes from. Nowadays I always wonder of where I am in his life. Am I his friend? If so, in what category did I fall into - just a friend, good friend or best of friend? Or worse, am I just one of his delusional fan who craze of him?

The sudden feeling of breaking down surging within me. Reminding myself over and over again...Be strong Jieun-sshi!!

"What is wrong, Jieunnie?" Now he sound worried. I need to come up with a quick covering up. Sigh...I used to be very good at concealing my disappointment expression that no one could really knows the real feeling that I harbor. Well maybe I am too tired with my busy schedules for my acting and singing activities, that maybe the reason for me to let down my guard this easy.

I smile at him with extra effort of my usual brightly smile so as to lighten the mood and hopeful it will cover up any distress sign on my face. 

"I'm sorry oppa. I still need to do more scene later. So...I don't want my hair to be messy as it already is." Half truth.

He nodded and smile at me. "What time do you need to get back to the location?" His tone scream brotherly at me. I decided to let it pass. I felt tired to argue or the correct term - acting out, with the way he treat me.

"Not so sure. My manager will inform me. Beside there is more work that need to be done in the studio before I begin my Japan tour end of this month." My thoughts now starting to run overdrive as I recalling of my list of works that need to be done before my tour. Sigh...there is a part of me that feel so excited with the adrenaline to be on tour. But there is also a part of me that makes me feel so lonely while I'm on tour. Mostly I will miss hanging out with my friends, especially my favourites Oppas and Unnies.

I watched Young Bae oppa nodded his head. Without looking at me, he continue to say, "You need to have lots of rest, Jieunnie. Watch your diet..." Blah blah blah.

Let it go. "I know." I feel pissed off with his condescending brotherly voice. It's getting tiring now. Maybe I should just go. Maybe I'm just feeling tired that makes me feel a bit sensitive with the way he is treating, afterall it never bother me before. Oh...so frustrating much!!

Silenced.

"Oppa, I think I want to go now."

He look surprise with my sudden decision to go off. I did not wait for his reponse. I started to pack up our picnic stuff. 

"What's wrong Jieunnie? What's the hurry?" I did not even look at him.  I know I've been overly sensitive but this has been 5 years. That long years I've been waiting for the slightest of him to regards me more than just a friend. Oh yes he did regards me more than a friend. He did. But he treated me like his younger sister. I don't want that. I have so much love for him, for us to last a lifetime. All he need to do is look at me. Really look at me as his equal, as his partner and as his lover.

I know I've vow to wait for me and keep on having faith for him to return my love. Nothing else matter.

Arrrgghhh!!

I guess it is better that I leave now before my inner pity getting worse. I love him I love him I love him - a mantra that I keeps on reciting in my heart. 

I still did not response to Young Bae questions. Let him be puzzled in my erratic mood now. I don't even know how to deal with myself. Let alone allowing him to sort me out. After I has completely pack our eatery utensils in the basket, with only the blanket that we has been sitting on. Young Bae still sit rooted to the same spot. I am debating if I should pull the blanket underneath him or politely ask him to move himself from the spot. I look up at him. Again he is watching the lake. What's the beef with him and the lake?

I wonder.

"What's so interesting with the lake?"

"By just admiring the calmness of the lake, it makes me feel calm too."

"Ok...maybe you want to move over so that I could fold the blanket?" I have no control with the way my voice sound. But to all seriousness, there is something wrong with me out of sudden. I truly sound and behaving like a . Urgh!!

"What's wrong Jieunnie?" I listen to his soft gentle voice asking me again. His voice is full of concern and kindness. And I just hate the underlining tone that he is wavering to me. I closed my eyes. Counting to ten, then I re-open my eyes and look at him. 

"Let's just go, Young Bae. I feel suffocated out of sudden." I know he's about to ask me another question but I stop him. "Don't ask me why. Because I don't have the answer. I just want to be alone."

Silence.

"Maybe there is a lot in your mind...?"

I just nodded to his presumption. I couldn't care less for any apparent reasoning. Instead of me folding the picnic mat, he has take charge of doing so. And when we walk to his Benz, again like a entlement, he take the basket from my hand. Once he press the car lock button, I quickly get in the car and buckled up. I lean back at the head rest of the car seat. I slowly closed my eyes - trying my best to relax while waiting for Young Bae.

I did not remember when did I doze off but the next thing I know Young Bae has awaken me. Still in daze, I look around to know where I am. We have reach in front of my studio building. 

"You must be very tired. I'm worried, Jieunnie?" I turn to Young Bae. His worried look just pissed me. I scowled. I don't want to deal with this now.

Why bother oppa? I'm not your sister or worse, girlfriend but how I wish I am though. I could said all that to him but I don't want to spark any silly arguement with him that I know I will regret later. Whatever that I am feeling right now, definitely this is not me. I am not at the right mind. Saranghae Young Bae oppa...

"I will be fine, oppa. Go home. You too need your rest. Thanks for the lunch." I did not wait for his response. I quickly get off his car.

"Jieunnie!! Wait for me!!" I quicken my pace. "Lee Ji-Eun, STOP!!" My legs stop as his command. But I refuse to turn to look at him. My heart thumping to know what's awaiting me when he stand in front of me. I bravely look up at his handsome face. He is scowling. But he still maintain his handsome face. 

"I love you."

♥  @;}- ♥

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