Pockets of Primadonnas gathered outside of the hospital, giggling and beaming with excitement as they waited for their dream husbands and boyfriends to walk out of the door. They waited all morning in the sun just to get to get a brisk glimpse of their idols, FT ISLAND. It has been about an hour since the leaked time of Hongki’s discharge from the hospital, but no trace of any of the five of them has been seen.

Meanwhile, in the ward, Seunghyun, Minhwan and Jaejin were staring helplessly at their hopping mad hyung. Anger and fury painted Hongki’s expressionless face red. He wheel chaired around the ward, picking up his belongings and tossing them relentlessly into his duffel. His knuckles were white from the overly forceful clenches. Pressed by anxiety, Seunghyun stuttered,

“J-j-jonghoon-hyung said he’ll be coming in five. Just a while more alright, hyung?”

“Who said we’re waiting for him? I’m done packing, let’s set off now,” Hongki snapped.

Jaejin chuckled coldly and raised his eyebrows.

“You leaving without Jonghoon-hyung? That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week.”

“What’s up with you, Jaejin? Trying to pick up a fight?” Hongki was obviously even more angered by Jaejin’s comment.

“Take of yourself first, hyung,” Jaejin retorted with a smirk on his face.

Minhwan elbowed Jaejin sharply while Seunghyun rushed to stop Hongki from crashing into Jaejin in his wheel chair. Hongki bared his clean, white teeth in an ugly snarl. He stared right into Jaejin eyes as he panted with anger.  Jaejin backed away into the couch, partly because of Hongki’s reaction but also because of he was taken aback by his own words. Hongki’s stare sent butterflies to his stomach. He hated how easily how was defeated. He hated how easily Hongki broke through the wall that had just started to build up around his heart. He hated how easily his emotions showed.

Never missing the perfect timing, Jonghoon dashed in with a dozen of red roses. Jaejin was partly relieved but part of him wished he hadn’t arrived. Seunghyun and Minhwan on the other hand could never have been more relieved at the sight of Jonghoon.

“Hongki ya~~~ Simmer down, babe. Look what I’ve got you,” Jonghoon attempted to cheer Hongki up. He held up the dozen of roses sincerely, putting up his best puppy-dog face.

But it was to no avail. Hongki had grown used to Jonghoon’s tactics. He merely wheeled wordlessly to the glass window. Jonghoon gestured the other three to move out of the room before moving stealthily to kneel beside Hongki.

“Aw come on honey, smile for me please?” Jonghoon tried again. Hongki remained expressionless.

“Smile for this?” It was Jonghoon last shot. He revealed a pair of headphones in the shape of skulls by Dr. Ditz. He knew Hongki longed for it. He crossed his fingers behind his back and squeezed his eyes closed.

Hongki’s eyes lit up at the sight of his dream headphones. How did he know-? This was it. He couldn’t put up with this any longer. Jonghoon was too precious to say no to. The noon rays of the sun permeated the room and scattered onto Jonghoon’s porcelain-like skin. Every strand of hair was right in place. He was perfect. Too perfect.

“How did you know?” Hongki asked, attempting to sound indifferent.

Jonghoon almost leapt up at Hongki’s response. It felt as if a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He could finally breathe easy.

“How can I not know? If I don’t even know this, then I really don’t deserve to be your boyfriend,” Jonghoon coaxed while moving closer to Hongki. Hongki held the dozen of red roses in his hands as Jonghoon closed the gap between his lips and Hongki.

“I love you,” Jonghoon whispered in his low, manly voice and planted an affectionate kiss on Hongki’s forehead. Both of them shared blissful expressions on their faces and smiled at each other for what seemed like eternity. Hongki wished secretly that this moment would last forever.

After several minutes of lovey-dovey staring and smiling, Jonghoon finally broke the eye contact and suggested that they should get going. Seunghyun, Minhwan and Jaejin entered the ward upon his cue and helped with the packing. Seunghyun and Minhwan cleared most of the gifts from the poor side table. What was left was a vase of multi-colored flowers. Jaejin paused for a brief while, admiring it, before holding it up.

“Into the bin?” Jaejin cocked his head to one side, biting his lips unconsciously.

“Not the vase, just the flowers. I need some space for Jonghoon’s sweet roses,” Hongki replied, seemingly in high spirits.

Jaejin gulped his saliva down and took a deep breath. Step by step, he inched closer to the bin and finally deposited the flowers into the dustbin. He stared at them for a while more before closing the lid, shutting out the light, leaving the flowers in darkness, forever. He sighed as he watched Hongki put each of the roses into the vase with great care and love. Jonghoon wrapped an arm around his shoulder and they were soon engaged in a small chat, giggling, smiling and teasing one another. Jonghoon pulled Hongki in for a quick peck on his cheek, leaving Hongki grinning from ear to ear.

Something tugged at Jaejin’s heartstrings. His eyes started to smart as they witnessed every single moment of their bliss. He bit down on his lip even harder and blood oozed out of the bite without his notice. His heart rate shot up while his throat went into spasm. He smiled in an attempt to relief this strange emotion in his heart but it only made tears brim his reddened eyes.

The feelings overpowered him and fought to take control of his body and mind. Before he bawled in front of his band members, he rushed out of the ward and headed straight to the washroom with the rest staring at him in shock. In the washroom, Jaejin heaved in and out and let the tears in his eyes flow out as he rested his head against the wall. His breathing slowly eased and saneness returned.

Just when I thought I was getting better at it. Ha, Jaejinnie’s still so weak huh. No, I won’t let these emotions overwhelm me. I will take control of me, myself and my life. Yes, I can face them; they don’t bother me.

Jaejin splashed a few handfuls of cool, refreshing tap water onto his face. He took in deep breaths and let the droplets of water trickle down his picturesque face. After seconds of silence, he looked up at the mirror and stared himself in the eye. A heavy, metal mask concealed his face. It was weighing down on his nose and cheekbones. Is this really who he wants to be?

Sorry for the late update everyone >< Been busy lately... Im getting to my favourite part of the story soon ^^