Jongup rolled onto his back, catching his breath for a moment before reaching over the side of the bed. He raised a cigarette to his mouth before lighting it. My head rested on his other arm. Jongup exhaled, I began fanning the cloud of smoke above me.

"Ah, sorry. I forgot you don't like smoke" Jongup pulled his arm from under my head and sat up. He put out his cigarette, rubbed his face and then sighed. He began pulling on his boxers. Lately... this is how it had been. We would meet and have , then he wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't look at me at all when we met. 

Always avoiding my eyes.

Jongup pulled on his sweatpants before standing up and walking over to the mini bar. Lately, we had only been going to hotels to have , he didn't invite me to his house anymore. I sat up and pushed my hair back, Jongup began drinking water. His chest had small droplets of sweat, his skin was moist from our activities, he was illuminated by the dim lights.

"Shall we go?" Jongup picked up his shirt. I nodded and got out of bed, preparing my clothes. Lately we only had and then we would go our separate ways. I was trying to make it all work. But college took up so much of my time and work took up his, that's what he told me. By the time we met each week, it was as if we had kept so many feelings pent up that a sudden release and relief became .

I stood up and straightened my clothes, looking at myself in the mirror. I looked at Jongup's reflection as he pulled on his jacket. He sat down on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on. Keeping his eyes down the entire time. I sat on the bed too and put my shoes on. Jongup picked up his phone from the bed-side table and began checking it. I put on my coat.

"Shall we go then?" I smiled, Jongup didn't pay attention. His eyes were glued to his phone as he followed me out of the room. I walked out of the hotel into an alley. 

"Are you hungry?" Jongup nodded, eyes stuck to his phone. I began walking, I had already decided where we were going to eat. It was a small cafe, not close at all. It was 30 minutes away. But I definitely wanted to go there, it could only be there. It was a unbearable walk. Not because my feet hurt, not because my hips or back hurt. But because we didn't speak. Lately when we walked together we had nothing to say as if we had spoken about every topic on the planet. It was a slow walk. A brutal walk. An exhausting walk. 

I noticed the cafe immediately, it's light blue paint and little brown sign had caught my attention the first time too. I walked in, catching a glimpse of the table at the back with two white chairs and a small round glass table between them. Jongup looked up abruptly.

"It hasn't changed at all..." What had it been? 3 years since we'd been here? Since we first met here? Shared our first kiss here? I couldn't even remember. Jongup walked over to the table, I followed him. There were others there, quiet music and small lights lit up the little cafe. A young lady came over. Jongup ordered tea, I wanted cake. Lately we hadn't eaten together, not like we used to. He used to cook for me, I used to try to cook for him. Lately I ate alone and it was always bitter. Ten minutes passed in silence, Jongup on his phone. Things on my mind. There was nothing we could talk about. I looked at other people in the store smiling, happy and warm. It seemed that only where we were sitting there was a harsh and cold draft. 

The young lady came back to our table. Firstly placing down small white plates. Then a small white saucer patterned with small black roses. Then she placed a cup on Jongup's saucer and carefully put the cake onto mine. I smiled and thanked her. She smiled and walked away. I picked up my small fork and ate a piece of my cake. It was sweet. Jongup's fingers traced the shape of his cup. He stared into it. His phone vibrated on the glass table. Once, twice, three times. Jongup got up.

"I'll be back in a minute" Jongup walked out of the cafe. He stood in front of the large window which allowed a limited amount of sunlight. My cake began to taste bitter. He smiled while he spoke. He put his free hand in his pocket and kicked the small stones on the street as he spoke. The sun lit up his face. Lately when Jongup was with me he didn't smile. Maybe it was because we had nothing to talk about. That's why I chose this cafe today. It may bring back what we've been missing lately.

He walked back in, I had lost my appetite. He put his phone down on the table and began tracing his cup again. Avoiding my eyes, he spoke 

"You... are you happy with me?"