Note: From Jessica's POV as she is telling Taeyeon (basically continuing from last chapter)

It was a month after I found out Yoona and Yuri were a couple and to tell you the truth, I was really happy to have an old friend back. Although I could tell Yuri was jealous that I was close with Yoona, but the three of us eventually became really good friends in such a short amount of time. It was funny that people in the theater world started calling us the Royal Family yet I can’t remember how or why we had that name.

Everything was going great in America for me at the time. I had good friends and work was refreshing, fun, and new. I was getting lost in my own world which was nice. I wanted what I had to last. For the first time, I was happy again. I was really happy. That was until everything fell apart in a flash.

I chose to forget the past because of one reason. It was the day I received a phone call from Yuri. “Sica…I don’t know what to do….she was fine this morning…”

“Yuri calm down, what is it? Tell me what happened.”

“Yoona…she she isn’t moving…” I knew my heart stopped right there. The tears came out and I was becoming frantic like Yuri.

“Tell me where you are now!”

I arrived in the hospital to see Yuri in a chair crying. “Can you tell me what happened?” She seemed calmer than what I heard over the phone but she was still distraught.

“There was an accident on set…”

“What kind of accident?”

“I don’t know. There was a crush and Yoona wasn’t moving.” My heart knew the situation already before she told me the rest. I didn’t get much more out of Yuri after that sentence. It was maybe a week later when I heard from the company that a piece of the set fell and Yoona was right under it. It hit her in the head and was rushed to the hospital right after.

The doctor came out and came to tell us how the surgery went, “I am sorry to say she passed away. She had a brain hemorrhage…” I know he said more but I froze with my sight and hearing gone. Both Yuri and my world collapsed. We had nothing left.

I really don’t remember much after that so I will skip ahead.

It all happened so fast that I lost track of time. Death, funeral, and back to work again. The world was confusing again. I couldn’t focus and my work was getting sloppy. Eventually I was pulled into the agency office. When I arrived, I noticed I wasn’t the only one called. Yuri looked at me when I entered the office and sat down.

The company representative started talking, “I know you were both close to Yoona,” just her name being said made the tears come back, “but we can’t have this affecting your work.” I looked over to Yuri who was emotionless. “I want you two to take a two week break to get your emotions taken care of. I know this may sound harsh, but I think you will understand in the future that this for your own good. You two are also going to do regular sessions with our on staff psychiatrist.” That was it. We were under contract, orders were orders. If we had to rid of our feelings and stop grieving, we did that. No matter how hard it was. We get paid to do this.

During the first two days off, I was secluded in my room. I wanted you with me so bad, to be by my side when I was at my worst, but that wasn’t possible. Having to fight a battle alone was hard. I gave up. Eventually I went to Yuri.

I knocked on her door and waited…no response. I thought maybe she would open if she knew it was me, “Yuri open it is Jessica.” I waited longer. She finally opened the door weakly and I ended up flying into her arms. The tears she was holding back for the two days we were apart finally flowed. We spent maybe an hour crying in each other’s arms. The pain that we were both suffering from was mutual. Instead of fighting a lone battle, we chose to fight together.

When one of us was at our lowest, we would contact the other and vice versa. The familiarity that I felt when I first met Yuri returned. She gave me the same comfort that I felt before. I saw in her eyes that she was warming up to me more too. Every day we got closer. However, when I look back, the comfort and feelings were fake. She used me as a replacement for Yoona and I was using her as a replacement for you.

However, at that time, emotions were clouded by grief. Grief showed an imaginary scene of love. The “love” we were feeling made us stick together. We didn’t want to leave the comfort of one another because if we were to, we would be alone again. Something we were fearful of facing again. This fear had us make a decision that would allow us never to be alone again: marriage.

Although I say that these feelings weren’t real, at the time I was convinced and Yuri did make me happy. She was also reciprocating the love and everything was flowing naturally like any other relationship. Preparations for the wedding were enjoyable because Yuri was easygoing with the planning process.

Wedding day:

I was happy, excited, nervous the normal feelings of someone who was going to make a long term commitment. Seeing everyone gather made me happy because I was receiving their blessing. I was of course happy to see Sunny and Seohyun again. It had been so long since I saw them and the first time since they had gotten back together.

I walked down the aisle towards Yuri who was waiting for me. Ready to take me in. Ready to allow me to fill a void. The judge started and I was initially happy to be beside Yuri to make this big step, but the judge started talking about love.

Love. I remembered love once. I looked away from Yuri towards Sunny and Seohyun who I knew were in love. It wasn’t until then did I remember what love was. It was the look in their eyes that they both gave each other down to the subtle gestures. My eyes returned to Yuri. I focused on her eyes and saw emptiness. Even when I was in front of her, I wasn’t. It was our wedding day and those eyes looked the same.

I remembered at that moment your eyes. Like how I look at them now, there is love.

“I can’t.” Everyone looked at me. The judge stopped and Yuri took my hand. “I said I can’t”

“What do you mean Sica…”

“I am sorry Yuri but I can’t get married to you. I thought I loved you but I think I was just confused like you. There is someone I can’t get off my mind and I am sure that is the same for you.”

Yuri looked into my eyes registering the words and feelings I was conveying. “Alright.”

In one word she made it so simple to let me go. In one word, she said she understood me.

That was it. The wedding was cancelled.

What happened with me and Yuri? Nothing. We are still friends. She is still here in America if you want to meet her. It is funny how we could just return to how things were before a romantic relationship occurred. I knew then that our feelings were artificial during that time. If we were in love, she and I would be angry, sad or something more dramatic, but breaking off the marriage was more of a natural process. No hard feelings and nothing became awkward between us.

*END POV*

Taeyeon wanted to process everything and say something but words were not enough. She pulled Jessica into a hug to replace the emptiness, loneliness, and coldness of the life she had before. “Next time you have a hard time just call me, don’t try getting married as a solution.”

Jessica giggled at Taeyeon, “The next time I marry, I will marry her because we love each other.”

Taeyeon smirked, “I think I know who the lucky girl is.” Jessica left Taeyeon’s arms.

“So full of yourself?” Jessica said to the cocky girl in front of her.

“How do you know I was referring to myself? I could have been talking about…” Jessica shut the small girl up with a kiss. Slow and softly the lips were meeting.

“I don’t want anyone else.”