Time heals all wounds, they say.

Jaejoong wonders if this is what it feels to be healed. Wandering around the house, making footsteps and turning on lights in every room he walks by (otherwise, it's too quiet, too dark, too lonel--)

When he's outside filiming a drama or posing for a photoshoot he stretches his lips into a smile, stares hard into the flashing lights, and for awhile, he forgets. He's supposed to be the Kim Jaejoong that they hired him to be - flawfree and confident. But in between the filming, whenever he returns home (home, he grimaces), there's a haunting emptiness, something similar to hunger, burying him inside out from his throat to his toes.

He tries to cry. He leaves the bath running to fill up the silence while he listens to the water echo loudly, waits for his tears to follow. They never follow.

He turns off the shower and sits on the sink and breathes in the fog until the mirror slowly clears up. The faint reflection of his backside blossoms into view along with the tattoo etched across his shoulder blades.

TVXQ. SOUL.

He wipes the steam off the glass with the side of his hand and traces the letters with his eyes. Below, the nobs of his spine jut out of his pallid skin. Fatigue lines the sides of his colorless mouth. Jaejoong soaks in the sorry sight of his reflection, the sight that the cameras never capture - the truth. For awhile, Jaejoong hasn't been able to see it either.

And the truth is, time hasn't healed the wounds; it's only bandaged them up. From outside it looks treated, but underneath the mesh, it's rotting at the nerves.

His eyes move back up to the tattoo again. Jaejoong laughs.

He laughs because at the time, he had really believed that by imprinting the two words on his skin they would become a permanent part of him. That was six years ago.

Today, he realizes that he has lost both.

TVXQ, his soul.

AN: OMFG. I'm so sorry that this is a super late update! And no, I have NOT dropped out of this amazing fandom. I've just been distracted by tumblr and high school senior (WHAT IS COLLEGE LOL). Despite my attempts to abandon this fic, I  returned to AFF and wrote up this chapter because

1.  I'm actually concerned for Jaejoong...I think he might be clinically depressed. This photo, taken by his manager at his house, worries the hell out of me because as eccentric as he is, he's pretty emotionally delicate. The media censorship and the transition from team-to-solo activities (and much, much more that we probably do not know about) might have severly damaged his psyche. After all, celebrities are humans, too.

2. YUNHO CHANGMIN COMEBACK. Keeping it classy as usual...Have you seen the teasers?