CHAPTER six  “trauma”

Chaos. Full of scream and chant from their fans. Tao still put a smile on his face, even though his headache getting more worse than before. He know, his geges now look at him with full of concern. Just a few hours ago, a MC asking him in recording interview if he feels okay. Surely, for white lie in recording he will told them, he is okay.

But, when they all need to performance MAMA after finished their recording at interview, he start feeling dazed. He so lucky, he’s not slipped when at his flip part in their breakdance in MAMA song . After finished the performance, they all rushly go inside the clothes room prepare themselves for next schedule, another short interview is still waiting up.

They all have five minutes to prepare, read all script for interview before go out from that building and head to next place. Chen who are reading his script for their interview, take a glance at their maknae. A worries painted at his face, when saw Tao now holding his heads. The main vocal sit up and take a seat beside their maknae.

“Are you okay, Tao? Did you take the medicine?”

Tao nodding slowly as answer. He still hold the script on another hands, but the headache right now is really killing him. It’s got more worst than at the morning before.

“Tao, how about take a short nap? You looks so paler than before.”

“It’s okay hyung. This script, I still didn’t read it yet.”

“Aish, you can read it later. That script not important than your health.”

Chen take the script and push the maknae forcing him to lie down. Tao in other way, doesn’t have a choice just follow what his hyung said.

“Let me feels your temperature.” said Chen.

He put his hand on Tao’s forehead, and his other hands at himself to feels the different. Again, Tao just let his hyung do what he want.

“Tao..your fever become more worse. Tell me the true. Did you take the medicine this morning?”

Tao biting his lips nervously, he know his answer will not be the best answer for Chen.

“I didn’t. The medicine, will make me dozed to sleep. That’s why I don’t take it. I just..take some painkiller for endure my headache..”

Chen sighing loudly. He cannot scold the maknae, with Tao making his pout-face is the unpleasant sight for him.

“You really know how to use that face, Tao. Make sure take the medicine after our schedule. Or, you want hyung told Kris about this?” Chen grinned widely.

“Hyung, it’s not fair!”

Tao whining pout cutely again. While, Chen let out a soft chuckled pleased with his payback sweet-revenge.

“Just take a nap, Tao. Hyung will tell our manager, okay?” Tao nodding again.

Chen put a wide smile, ruffling softly the maknae’s black locks. 

The crowded fans outside are surrounding the building and they need almost entire bodyguard staff for through it with safely. Kris make Tao stay behind him, then following by Luhan and Lay. He know, how over protective their line dancer towards their maknae. Moreover, when Chen told them about Tao headache become more worse ago. Of course, they being frantic over to protect their maknae.

“Our fans never get tired right? I would be happy if they all just lining up and made us walk through them without any problem.”

Luhan frowning hard when saw the mob of fans outside their building. Before this, they always walk out from back building, seems that way more safety than front side. Bad news, from back building also getting crowded by more worst their sasaeng. So, it will be best they walk out from front building.

But, with Tao condition of course they will be more worried. Luhan looks Tao who still looking down on floor, with his hoodie sweater cover up his head. Of course, he don’t want fans got worried when saw his frowning face in pain because his headache. Xiumin always beside Tao, to make sure their panda don’t get any trouble.

Luhan looks the other also frowning hard, must be thinking the same thing like he thinking. Kris on other way are with their manager, waiting all bodyguard prepare themselves. The manager then sent a notice to them to prepare for walk out through their fans.

All bodyguard walk out first and make a shield for them, and they all walk out fastly through the crowding fans. Chen is first who walk out, then following by Kris, Tao, Luhan and Lay. Xiumin at last with their manager. The situation at first, quite can be handle by their bodyguard but, that won’t last in 1 minutes. Fans start pushing each other, to try touch them, give them a gift or love letter or calls them and hope they will answer it. 

Tao flinching slightly when feels the loudness scream come from their fans, he also stumbled from walking because getting pushed by guard who shielding them. Kris who is noticed that, rushly pull Tao by his side. He shielding Tao’s back with his body. He tried somehow, take a glance at Tao. The maknae seems, frowning hard maybe try to endure his headache.

“Kris oppa! Luhan! Wu Yifan! Yixing oppa! Chenchen! Taozi! Baozi!”

They all over and over screaming their names, their hands never stop to push their gift towards them.

Tao gripping his duizhang hands tightly. The headache he tried to endure still pounding hard. With the chaos from fans screams, and pushing them is not helping his situation at all. The pains still try killing him. Just one door, then they will rushly into their van. And then, they will go to doing next schedule. Sure, he can do it. He doesn’t want being his ge’s burden. He don’t want it.

“Zitao didi!”

Tao gasp a breath. He freeze at a seconds.

“Tao, what’s wrong?”

Kris feels their maknae stop walking. He bent down a little to see their maknae. He feels Tao holding his hands tightly. More tightly.

“Tao?”

“Didi! Zitao didi! Ge love you!”

Kris heard a whimper escaped from Tao. He start feeling worries at their maknae.

“Ge.. I’m scared..”

Kris heard a sobs escaping from their maknae now. Tao leans his head on Kris’s shoulder, his body trembling slightly. Kris feels Tao hold his hands more tighter, like don’t want he let go of him.

“What’s wrong, Kris?”

Luhan widen his eyes, saw their maknae situation. His face now show a horrorfic expression worrying if something happens at Tao.

“Let’s just go to van first. Hold on me, Tao. Ge won’t let go you, okay. Trust me.”

Tao nodded whimpering, as his hands hold tighter on Kris’s hands. The duizhang then make up his way rushly to their van with by their bodyguard helping.

“This is bad, ge. He been crying till we come here, nonstop. We should take Tao go back home. Please ge.”

Kris begged helplessly at their manager. Kris knows, the troubled their manager will face it when he cancelled this interview at all. But, with their maknae situation ago, he cannot help feels more worried.

“Yifan, you know this interview is important to you all. Moreover, they already announcing it on their official website. So, for cancelling it suddenly.. it’s will be problem for us and them. It’s already hard to make this agreement too. I’m sorry, yifan.”

“But, ge. Tao.. he needs rest. His headache..”

Kris begging again. He didn’t care a pride as man or what. His priority now, is take care s. Their manager start feels guilty for them. He always take care Exo M, like his didi. And, with this situation however of course he cannot being biased towards them. But, somehow- 

“Fine, I will try talk with them.”

“I will company you ge, in case if you getting scolding by them, I will also-“

“That doesn’t need. Just stay with your members.”

He opens his eyes slowly, greeted by a white ceiling on his room. He tried to sit up slowly, and looks at his surrounding. He just alone by himself in his rooms. He noticed at his bed side, someone put a tray with jug of water and a glass. And there also, some painkillers. He stands up, wants to get out from his rooms. He pulled the door knob, and just want to go out. Then, he froze.

“It’s so cruel, howcome Kris and manager got scolded harshly by their CEO company. They don’t know our situation. Aishh!” said Luhan frustratedly.

“Luhan ge, slow your voice. You will wakes Tao.” cut Lay, while his hands still playing with his phone.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Luhan sighed slowly, he lowered his head.

Chen on beside him now feels the tension air filling them. He watch Luhan, who take some magazine try to distract himself like what Lay doing so. Chen biting his lips, he frowning hard. Why they suddenly become cold each other.

“Hey hyung, how about we make something for dinner while waiting Kris ge and Xiumin ge come back dorm. And, we can eat together when Tao wakes up.”

Chen nudged Luhan. He grinning widely shows the excitement writed at his face.

“That’s sounds good. How about you think, Yixing?”

Lay who focusing at his phone ago, also make a smile appeared at his face.

“Yeah. It’s good too.” 

Tao push back close the door after heard what they talked. He made his way back at his bed, and lied down again. He turn his side and watch the tray been put beside his bed. He sighed slowly and turn facing back the windows.

“So, at all this is my fault, right? I make Kris ge and manager ge getting scolded.”

Tao talks alone with himself. He sighing again. He pull the comforter, cover up all his body. He still feels his temperature still not down. His fever still boiling up.

Why should this all happens to me? I’m suppose not being their burden. But, I make Kris ge and manager ge getting scolded. I make Luhan ge and Lay ge worried about him. I make Chen ge feels sad when saw Luhan ge and Yixing ge become cold each other.

Tao close his eyes, too much thought surrounds filling in his head.

‘Zitao didi!’

Tao gasps loudly when remember that moments. He open widen his eyes, stare out on the windows. The moments, when they tried through the crowd fans. He hears some fans called him, Zitao didi?

All words in the world, why they called him, didi?

That’s why at there, he trembled and sobbing at Kris side. That feels come again after he heard that words. That same feels.

Why must didi? Why not called me, Zitao like the others do?

He hates that word.

Don’t didi on me. Even all my ge not calls me by using didi. Then, why they all use Didi on me? Why?

‘Because, gege loves you. You're my didi.’

Tao gasps a breath. The suffocates feels. It’s coming again.

“Didi er, did you know how much gege loves you?”

A hands slipping slowly on his crook of neck, hugging his neck gentlely. Gege smiling widely from his back and kissed his nape tenderly. Gege brushing softly his didi black locks. Gege looks at windows reflection of him back-hugging his didi who stare souless at outside.

“Didi er, Gege feels so happy. Gege finally can calls you ‘didi er’. Gege always wanting to called didi er by using that name.”

Gege pull his didi lying down on his laps. He brushing his didi’s hair softly, his gaze soften when saw his didi who looks at him.

“You’re mine,didi er. Always will be, mine. My didi.”

‘ARGHHHHH!!!’

The duo dancer line gasped loudly when heard the scream.

“It’s Tao!” Chen rushly made his way at Tao’s room. Duo line dancer who still in shock also following their main vocal.

Tao is in his bed curling his body screaming trashing around, a tears flooding fastly come from his. His hands hitting hard his head, while screaming ‘stop stop stop’. This scene is so unpleased for Chen, his face turn into pained expression. What’s happen at Tao? What’s happen at their maknae? Why? What’s going on actually?

“STOP CALLING ME DIDI ER!! ARGHHHHH!!”

Chen snapped from his thought, he fastly jump on to the bed and hold their maknae. Chen gritted his teeth hardly. He in hard time, their maknae strength even though still covering with fever will absolutely cannot compare by his strength. Tao have the martial arts body, than him who just have ballad singer body.

“NO! LET ME GO!! LET ME GO!!”

Chen narrowed his eyes at Tao’s feet who kicking their bed post, and make table beside the bed slightly shaking.

“Hyung, need help! Take the jug and glasses away!”

Lay who now in conscious state, hurriedly do what Chen said. Luhan on front door, still stand freezing not move. He just stare in shock at the scene happens front him. Tao trashing and screaming crying on his bed, while Chen in hard time trying to calm their maknae.

“LET ME GO! LET ME GO!! NO!! NO!!”

Chen who still hold their maknae, pull hard the maknae face to looks at him.

“Tao! Look at me!”

Tao gasp loudy, and his tears flowing fastly. A minutes ago, he is trashing screaming and now, he is sobbing crying messly.

“I want my ge.. Ge..”

Chen frowned when heard Tao whimpering. The maknae now sobbing uncontrollable, he hugs his knees and his body trembles slightly.

“Tao, this is ge. Chen ge. Your ge, right?”

“Chen ge..?”

“Hmm, I’m your ge. Don’t cry anymore okay?”

Chen pull the maknae into his embrace. He rubbing his back slowly. Tao nuzzle softly in warmness, he start calming down. A hiccup now escaping from the maknae as he stop crying.

“Ge, afraid..”

“Don’t worry. Chen ge’s here.”

 author's note Here, my update ^^ Huwaa I'm really sorry sorry sorry full of apologize for all my subbies. I make you all waiting my update too long. and, I don't know if this chapter is worth for my long absent. Sorry guys, my laptop is just broken and I just buying it today kyah. Then, I tried my best for updates today.  Before this, I'm online using phone reply some emergency messages. Well, some mess created right when you all notice my story cannot be read. And, you all thought I delete the story. So, sorry again for worried you all. Teehee :p Please excuse my bad grammar. As well, I got my beta reader. She's kinda busy right now, and she will beta-ed my story as she leave some notes. Okay, please enjoy and anticipate next update. Also, please do comments on the below, and subscribe :)