Chapter  one :  “flashback”

A loud bickering noise wakes him up from his slumber. Tao rubs his eyes slowly and starts to get up from his bed. He walks out from his shared room with Xiumin and made his way to the kitchen. The scenes greeting him makes a thin smile plaster on his face.

“Hey. Good morning, Tao!” greets Luhan who is sitting at the counter with a cup of hot coffee.

Lay on the other hand, is busy with his cooking. Tao sends a smile and greets Luhan back.

“Good morning too, Luhan ge.” Tao takes a seat in front of Luhan.

“Oh, Tao. You’ve woken up. Brush your teeth first and wash your face. And please help me, wake up the Duizhang. You know how hard it is to wake him up?” Lay says, smiling widely. Tao just lets out a chuckle.

“Fine then, Ge.”

“Here guys. Some snacks from our fans!” says Chen while digging through one of the paper bags.

Luhan and Xiumin starts joining Chen, looking for some of their favourite snacks. While Kris is busy talking to their manager about some new schedules, Lay is busy looking at his phone.

“What are you doing, Lay ge? You’ve been looking at your phone since an hour ago," asks Tao, frowning hard.

“Ah, Tao. Actually, I am just checking our fansite. Let’s take some selcas together,” says Lay, showing his dimple smile.

Tao just nodding happily agreed. Lay sit closer with Tao, and start making some position. While, Tao now is smiling widely at camera.

“Hey, Tao. You got some your favourite lollipop!” shouting Luhan loudly, his hands lift up a pack of lollipop.

Tao turn his head, when his name been called. He freezing at his spot when looking at a pack of lollipop are holded by Luhan.

"Another lollipop? Again, that men." A sigh escaped from Kris.

"Please throw it, ge. It’s creeping me out..." Tao start making some frowning face.

"How about we have some training, Tao. It would stop your worries about that thing.” asked Xiumin tried to stop their maknae’s worries.

“Yah, Tao. Why didn’t you looking at the camera?” A loud of whining from Lay wake him up from his thought.

“Ah, Lay ge. I’m sorry. Let’s take again.”

“Tao, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am. Why?” Tao nodding his head with a smile plastered.

“Nothing.”

A cold breeze from outside now sending some chilling feels. Tao on his bed shifting slightly, a frowning start appeared at his face, his chest start moving up and down, gasping of breath.

‘Didi-er, Gege is here…’

‘Let go of me… I want- I want go… home…’ a choked sound of sobbing escaped from his mouth.

‘Syuhh… Relax, gege is here. Don’t cry didi-er. Gege won’t leave you again…’

‘Please…’

A short gasp come out from him. His eyes wide open looking at his surrounding. A dream right? A sigh of relief come out from him. Why? Why I dreamed about that moment again? Tao start bitting his lips, shifting his position on his bed. Try get to sleep again.

All of Exo M members now lying down on the floor tiredly, because from hard training today. Right now, they are have some new choreography to practice for their concert next week .

“Tao, are you okay? You look so tired?” asking Kris worriedly, he take a slight glance at Tao’s face.

“Yeah, Kris ge. I’m okay.” Answer Tao fastly.

Kris just made a face, unsure with Tao’s answer. Tao sighed loudly, make a pout face.

“Don’t start that pout. I’m asking you, serious.” said Kris with sterness voice.

“Okay, fine ge. I’m really okay. Just lacking some sleep.” whining Tao laoudly still made his pout face.

“You should sleep earlier more.” Kris sounded worried. Tao smiling widely, nodding understand.

“Don’t worry ge. I will do it.”

“What’s going on?” asked Luhan suddenly who are coming at there. He give two bottle of water at them.

“It’s Tao. He looks so tired today.” Answer Kris shortly, take a bottle from Luhan.

“I’m not, ge!” Tao pouted again. Luhan let out a short chuckled, then he ruffled Tao’s hair.

“Tao, you really like you are. You should get rest. Futhermore, we didn’t have any schedule after this. Am I right, Kris?”

Kris nodding fastly, give Luhan an answer. He looking at his watch, 10 o clock on morning.

“Go back to our dorm first. And get rest, We will back at lunch time.”

“Aish, ge. Fine.” Tao standing up, take his bag and walk out from practice room instantly.

“What’s happen hyung?” asked Chen worriedly when saw their maknae leaving the building fastly.

“It’s nothing. Tao just tired, he go back first to take some rest.” answer Kris. He now start doing some streching.

“You know Kris, I feel worried about Tao.” Said Lay suddenly, make the other looking at him. Kris who are doing a streching at first, now stopped.

“What do you mean?” Xiumin now asking, slightly sounded some suspicious.

“Is something happen at him, Yixing?” Luhan made a worried expression too.

“No, it’s just. He looks like to have many thought. You know, like he been thinking on something.”

“You meant, Tao like having some problem? And he didn’t tell us about that?” Kris start made some first speculation. Lay sighing loudly.

“Guys, you know very well Tao right? He will do not tell us anything troubled him. He don’t want make us worried so much."

“Aish, Luhan ge and Kris ge is worried too much.” T

ao push hard the front door, and  walk inside their apartment slowly. He dropped his bag on the floor at their living room. Then, he leaned down on one of three-row sofa at their living room. He let out a loud of bored sigh. Alone by himself. In this silent apartment. No any sound.

That’s why, he don’t like being alone in this apartment. Nor he afraid being alone, he just feel lonely. Again, Tao let out a same tone sigh. He looks at one of cushion pillow at another sofa. A blue one, the favourited Kris. He then take it, and put down on his head.

Silent. Tao’s eyes start dropping slowly. He take another cushion pillow coloured yellow. This time, is Xiumin’s favourite. He hugging the yellow one tightly. Then, he close his eyes slowly dozed by sleep.

‘Please.. let me go..!’

His hand start feels aching through the wire are binded his both hands. His tears flowing fastly together with his choked sobbing. A one hands start messaging his shoulders slowly.

‘Syuhh.. calm down, didi-er.. Gege is here…’

‘No.. No.. Please.. Please..’

He coughing let out a choked sound of sober. His body trembling hard. He let out a loud of sobbing and whimpering noise. A hands start wiping his tears softly.

‘Please don’t cry didi-er..’

‘No.. No.. Just.. Ple-please… Let me.. go..’

Tao let out a loud of gasp when he wake up suddenly from his nap. A dream again? Why? Why that dream? Tao frowning hard, his breath still shortened due a sudden wake up. He shaking his head, try not have that thought again. He get up and make a move to the kitchen.

Maybe a glass of warm water can help him to not thinking about that dream again. He take a glass from the shelf beside on sink.

‘Here didi-er. Drink the water.’ Gege put a cup at his mouth, so he can drinking a water slowly. Don’t want his didi-er got choking.

‘There. Gege will put this bowl at kitchen first, and Gege will come back at you after that. Okay?’

He doesn’t make any response for answer. His mind now forcedly closed from anyone. Gege just chuckled and patting his head softly.

“We’re home!”

‘PRANGG!’

A sound of broken glass can been heard from the kitchen, Lay hurriedly rush at there and spotted Tao who are now slightly trembling, picking a piece of glass on the floor.

“Tao, are you alright?’

“Ah, Lay ge.. I’m.. I’m okay. Yeah.. I’m sorry, because I let out it slipped from my hand.”

Tao try to pick up all broken glass piece fastly. He didn’t want answer any question from his geges. He know, they will asking him a lot of question when seeing him in this state.

“Tao, it’s okay.. I-“

“No, Lay ge. It’s my fault- Ouch!”

A red liquid start dripping slowly from his thumb. Lay let out a shock gasp and fastly take their maknae hands and put in cold water on the sink.

Tao flinched of sudden action, and shutting his mouth. Don’t want argue anything with his ge at this situation.

A sound of broken glass make Lay now rushly to the kitchen. Xiumin who are just get into their apartment after Lay, just frowning. He start wondering and hurriedly go to the kitchen too, after put all paper bags given by their fans on sofa at living room.

“See, I told you. It’s okay. But you still insisted to pick that glass uncarefully. Now look at your thumb. Gladly, you just got a slight cut.”

“What’s going on?”

A confused expression plastered on Xiumin’s face right now, when he saw Tao who just keep his head lowering. While Lay are putting a plaster on Tao’s thumb.

“Tao got a slight cut on his hands.” Said Lay instantly.

Xiumin just ‘Oh’ when got the answer. He looks at Lay now picking all piece of broken glass and throw in dustbin. Now, he understand a whole situation happened now.

“Lay ge, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to-“

“Tao, it’s okay. I’m not angry at you. I just..” Lay let out a loud sigh while his hands now wiping a small pieces of glasses on the floor with towels.

“I’m just worried about you, Tao.”

“Ge-“

“Yeah, you are okay. But I can see your poker face, Tao. You look troubled. It’s something happen?” Tao stood freeze on his place. Lay furrowing his eyebrows waiting an answer.

“No. Nothing happen.” Tao try put a wide smile on his face.

“Hmm, I feel sleepy ge. I will take a nap in my rooms. Just wake me up when come a lunch time ge.” Said Tao lastly then hurried go inside his rooms.

Lay rolled his eyes while huffing out an annoyed sound.

“You saw that, Xiumin ge? I don’t know how to deal with that panda anymore. He hiding something from us!”

“Relax Yixing. Just let him be. Maybe it’s his privacy problems. I will make Kris to talk with him about this.”

He just spaced on outside through the open windows. A silent night, with slow air breezing inside room. Even though his body now shivering because of the breezing cold.

Gege slipped slowly at his back. Pull him into his embrace tightly. Gege smiling due the warmth feelings. Now, his didi finally is him.

‘Why did you doing this to..me?’

‘Just please.. le-let me go..’

He hiccups and sobbing loudly. His body trembling fearness.

“No!” Tao shift up sitting from his sleep. His breath start hitching loudly and his body start shaking.

A loud of cheering from their living room distrupt his thought of dream ago. Xiumin ge is not here. Must ge and Luhan ge are watching a soccer now. He try to get up and walking out from his room. After got that dream again, he just feels scared to sleep alone in his room. 

His real gege. That’s what he needs now. Their comfort, their love.

“Oh, Tao. You awake?” Xiumin frowning when see their maknae now standing at their’s door room with troubled face.

“Tao, are you okay?” Luhan sent a worried glance to Xiumin.

Tao just shooking his head as answer ‘no’.

“Herea, come sit with us.” Xiumin persuading his maknae, Tao like an obedient child walk at them and take sit between Luhan and Xiumin.

“Now, care to tell us? Is it something wrong?” Ask Xiumin softly in his korean native.

While, Luhan just keep in silence, he know their maknae must having some problem. Every morning, he saw how tired Tao will be. Tao leaked some sleep, when he got into their van. He will fastly fall slept during their way to interview or show. He also see how Tao start skipping his breakfast, lunch and food.Tao never ever have lost appetite, except when come a problem at him.

“Nothing ge. I just can’t sleep. Can I sleep beside ge, while ge and Luhan ge watching soccer?”

And like he expected, that Tao will never not tell them his problem. However, inside his deep heart, he really hope Tao will tell us. Share with them his problem. Let them feel too what he’s feel. That’s what supposed brothers to be right? They all Tao’s gege. When Tao feel down, they will comfort him, support him, calm him, pamper him, love him. Luhan let out a loud sigh.

Tao start frowning, he got a pained expression on his face.

“If that bothering, it’s okay-“

“Of course not, Tao. Just sleep okay.” Xiumin fastly pull Tao into his embrace.

Tao rested his head on Xiumin’s lap. He feels the same warmth feelings his Geges now. That scared feelings ago start dissapear.

Tao smiling by himself now, he feeling so peaceful though his surrounding is full with loudness of cheering from television. Luhan now smiling when hear a soft snore from their maknae. Xiumin let out a soft chuckled, while his hand brushing slowly the maknae front bangs.

His soft black hair, cute silkworm and curly thin lips. Of course, they cannot resist the maknae cuteness.

“He’s so peaceful when he’s sleep. Like a kid.”

“Yeah. Well, it’s like what we expected before, right Luhan?”

“He never told us, hyung.”

 Author's note Hey there, excuse my grammar btw ehehe. Please do subscribe and comments, love you all <3