January 1, 2014

No text.

--

January 2, 2014

No text.

Before I sleep I texted Suho oppa to ask how he is.

"Do you want an update? Dont even ask its not a good news."

(received 8:46pm)

When I read his reply to me. I have a bad feeling already. But I have to think positive maybe he's just trying to fool me.

"Why? Just tell me oppa"

(sent 8:47pm)

"Just stop it Aye. I think that's the only thing I could tell you. I don't want you to get hurt."

(received 8:49pm)

My heart stops beating. Tear falling on my face. I knew it. For the past few days that he's not texting me. I know there's something wrong. He doesn't love me anymore.

Suho oppa is telling the truth. Im not hoping its a troll because he is not one. Remember when I told him to tell me if Kai doesnt love me anymore. Well here it is. The day that I don't want to come.

Im so broken to start this year. I thought we will be together this year. Why? He's avoiding my text messages. He's avoiding me.

The only bad guy I ever loved has already fallen out of love with me. How can I move on with this now if I see him everyday at school.

How can I go to school now. Before I want the holidays to be over but right now I just don't think I can go to school. Im not ready to face him. To face the fact that Kai doesn't love me anymore.

I don't know what I feel seeing him courting another girls. Or hearing him talks about the girl he likes.

When you tell me you love me. You tell me that everynight right? Did you mean that even once? Or is it just to make me feel good.

Baby... Those three words were said too much.. But not enough..

Cry. Cry. Cry

That's all I can do tonight.

A certain giant once told me not to be a crybaby. I always obey him. But this time just this time I wont. How can I stop crying if the person who tells me to be strong who is actually my strength hurts me without him realizing it.

How can I move on. I won't go another day without you baby. Kai please don't do this to me. You're my only strength. I just want to talk to him right now to confirm everything.

I love you too.

I never said it to you. Baby but i love you too! I love you more than you could ever imagine. I wish I can turn back time where you told me you love me and I would say those three words back to you. But now I can't.

--

"HAPPY NEW YEAR :))"

That is the last text message he send me. I never deleted his text messages ever since we texted. (Sep 24, 2013)

His text messages went up to almost 7,000. I deleted most of it since it's always hang whenever I open it because there's too much. I only left some and those important message he send me.

968 messages and I won't delete it now. Knowing that, that's the only memories I have with him.

--

January 5, 2014

Im hurt. The pain won't go away. It's been a week now since the last time we had a proper texting.

I never been so hurt this much before. When I broke up with my first love Sungjae. I moved on in just a day. They said the hardest break up is the break up with your first love but why? Why am I much more hurt with Kai.

I guess Im the one who fell in love so much this time and that's because of Kai. But the latter doesn't feel the same way.

I just realize Im happy, energetic and full of excitement everyday because of him. Now that there's no Kai texting me "GoodMorning", telling me not to skip meals, telling me to take care of myself. Saying "Iloveyou". The Kai who I loved from the very first moment I looked at him. The Kai I first texted last September.

Even if I cried a thousand tears, would he come back to me? Even if I miss him. He still not missing me.

3 months and 9 days.

100 days with him. 100 days with Kai. I will treasure every little moments we shared together.

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Hi guys! So I think that's all of it now. #100DaysWithHim. From sep 24 until jan 2. That's all. Im still hurt right now. Tomorrow is back to school day i dont know if im going but I'll try. But hey guys! I want to show you a picture. =)) Kekeke. Upvote guys! Spread the story. Spread the love. Maybe one day he'll read this story and realize what he lost. Kekeke :) (im assuming) Ok so bye for now! Take care.