December 5, 2013

Today is the most memorable so far. He's courting me.

 

Stay the same ne? I'll be good to you.

(received 9:46pm)

 

Yes you too.

(sent 9:48pm)

--

After that day we had a little fight. Well not exactly a fight but a misunderstanding.

 

After what he told me that he'll court me and will try his best to be good to me. He's been skipping classes just to drink with his friends.

 

Just tell me if you want me to stop.

(receive 6:45pm)

 

I don't really know what he mean. If he's talking about the things that he's up lately or about the thing that he's courting me. But as a Smart I think of an answer that will suit both questions.

 

Well I can't do anything about it. It's your choice.

(sent 6:49pm)

 

You can always tell if you don't like me drinking. I'll stop if you just tell me. I promise.

(received 6:51pm)

 

Im glad he's talking about that. Honestly, I don't like guys who smoke or drink. But I just can't help it with Kai. Im so inlove with him already.

 

He's different to Sungjae. Well Sungjae doesn't really smoke or drink unlike him almost everyday and skipping classes just to have a good time and drink.

 

It's alright with me if you drink. Just don't do it as a habit. Please :)

(sent 6:54pm)

 

Thankyouuu! They just force me to come. Please just trust me with this. I still know what the right thing to do even if I get drunk. Im not like those boys ne? I don't drink that much.

(received 6:57pm)

 

That's good then. Take care. Text me when you get home ne?

(sent 7:00pm)

 

Yes I will for you. Yes baby I'll text you later.

(receive 7:01pm)

 

--

 

The next day is the same. He skipped class again to drink. What happen to the phrase they-force-me-to-come then? Im so disappointed. After all what he told me last night. There he is now drinking again.

 

I didn't text him the whole day because of disappointment and mad at the same time. I promise myself I won't text him until he stops drinking for a while and guess what I FAILED.

 

Baby?

(receive 7:32pm)

 

Yes?

(sent 7:33pm)

 

I just got home baby. I'll eat first. Text you later ne? Mwaaa! :**

(received 7:35pm)

 

--

 

December 10, 2013

 

Friends?

(received 9:43pm)

 

That's the only text I receive from him ever since that hurt me so much. It even made me cry that night. He told me that after we had another misunderstandings just because he really can't stop drinking this week.

 

I cried my heart out that it made eyes swollen the next day. Lucky my class isn't in the morning and it can still fade until afternoon.

 

We didn't text each other the while day. I couldn't sleep and keeps on thinking about Kai. When I close my eyes all I see is him. How can I be friends with someone that I really like so much.

 

I thought he loves me why did he gave up so easily? Did he find another girl to love that's better than me?

 

It's midnight already and I still can't. Well how can I if there's heaps of thoughts going on my mind.

 

Kai why did you do this to me? Why you? Why did I love you. Unfortunately, I cried again tonight. I just can't stop it. I so love him. It hurts so much that we can't be more than friends anymore.

 

Midnight (Dec 11, 2013)

 

Good Night

(received 12:19am)

 

He's still awake. Aish this guy what is he doing? Texting probably and obviously it's not me who keeps him awake. His texting another girl. I can't anything about it cause im not his girlfriend anyway. I don't have a right. So many thoughts going on my mind again and again.

 

 

Good Night :)

(sent 12:22am)

 

Aye. Aye. Aye always remember Kai loves you.

(received 12:24am)

 

Goodnight again. Sleep now ok? It's already midnight.

(received 12:25am)

 

He double send. I love it when he does that.

 

Me too. I'll sleep now

(sent 12:26am)

 

Obviously I replied in both of his text the "me too" part is for the text that he loves me. I waited a bit if he would reply but he didn't. He probably doesn't want to answer what I just texted him or he fell asleep already.

 

--

 

Afternoon (Dec 11, 2013)

 

His friends were talking to Minhee. I find it suspicious because at school Minhee and I are known as twins because we wear same clothes everytime and were always together. So when someone wants to talk to one of us the other one has to come as well because were twins. But this time they only talk to her.

 

While Im talking to my friend from other class. She's with her new classmates this time so she's introducing me to them.

 

Once Minhee came back I already know what they told her to ask one of these girls number and I know who she is because she's the only good looking girl here.

 

I ask Minhee if I was right. She nodded and didn't look at me. I wonder why. But as a good friend I want to help Taemin. He is Kai's bestfriend and he's the one who ask Minhee for the number. First I interview the girl and ask for her name. Her name is Princess. It really suits her because she's really pretty and I like her already she's nice as well. We leave after I got her number because our class will start soon.

 

On our way to class Minhee stops walking.

 

"Aye...uhm don't get mad okay?" She said seriously

 

"Why? What's wrong? Is she Kai's ex-girlfriend or something?" I chuckled.

 

"No... Aye Im serious"

 

"Okay.. What is it then?"

 

"Why did you get that girls number?" She asked me.

 

"Well doesn't Taemin wants her number? I just want to help him."

 

"Actually that's not true. They just said it's him so you won't be hurt. It's Kai who actually wants her number." She said then hugged me.

 

My eyes widened. Jaw dropped. My heart stops beating for a while.

 

Im really stupid that I didn't notice it from the start. I even put all of my effort just to get her name and number. For Taemin bur not for Kai.

 

Minhee told me to pretend that I dont know but once we got in the room everyones staring at me. Well not everyone in the class but just our group of friends.

 

Minhee knows Im angry already and can say bad things. I think she said something to Taemin behind my back saying that I already know.

 

"Are you okay?" MinAh ask.

 

MinAh is Kai's girl bestfriend they're so close to each other. They call each other "couz" (cousin) even if they're not really related to each other.

 

With my angry and serious tone. I speak out loud enough for them to hear.

 

"Here. I got the number myself. I put efforts just to get that." I wasn't talking to Taemin directly while I was saying that Im standing in front of Kai while Im facing his back. But I still gave it to Taemin. Knowing that he will give it to Kai later.

 

"Kai just stop it already you're making someone wait for you. Why don't you just say it. Don't you pity her already?" She talks to Kai with a loud voice so everyone cam hear it. Obviously she wants me to hear it.

 

"She assumes for the both of you Kai. Don't make someone wait." She continues after laughing and slapping Kai's shoulder.

 

What? Am I hearing this right? What does she mean by stop it and making me wait? I know Kai already loves me in fact he's courting me right? What is going on?

 

All this time I thought MinAh is a good friend. I even called her "couz" as well because she knows how Im deeply inlove with Kai. I tell her everything. She said she wanted an update about us. So everytime Kai tells something I tell her.

 

I really want to cry that time. But I can't show them Im so affected. He can't see me cry. I just wanna go home and cry overnight already.

 

Once I got home I went straight to my room. I wanted to cry but unfortunately there's no tears coming out. I just wanna let this all out because it really hurts keeping it inside. If you know that feeling.

 

Why is he doing this to me? Am I not enough for him? I wonder if he really loves me. I wonder if all those things he told me were true.

 

(9:00pm)

 

I checked my phone since I left it in my room because Im not really expecting him to text me now. Knowing that he's got his Princess to text him.

 

/3 unread msgs & 2 missed calls/

 

Suprisingly those 2 messages and 2 missed calls were from him.

 

Aye

(received 8:55pm)

 

Aye?

(received 8:56pm)

 

I don't want to reply because I don't us to end things just because he already found his Princess. If there's really 'us'.

 

Why?

(sent 9:02pm)

 

Are you mad at me?

(received 9:03pm)

 

No why would I be.

(sent 9:05pm)

 

But I was actually so mad and hurt at the same time.

 

Really?

(received 9:07pm)

 

Yes

(sent 9:08pm)

 

Glad to know that. Couz really annoyed me from earlier. She's telling everyone that Im the one who wants that girl number but I dont.

(received 9:11pm)

 

Why is he putting out this topic now? I knew it he's guilty. I don't believe him. He's just saying that.

 

Stop denying.

(sent 9:12pm)

 

Im not. Im telling the truth why would I want her number yours is enough. If you don't want to believe me then I don't blame you because I can't show you how much I love you in person. If you just know how I feel.

(received 9:14pm)

 

Okay then.

(sent 9:15pm)

 

Look I did it because I think you don't like me anymore but deep inside I dont want to get her number. Honestly Im already inlove with you.

(receive 9:17pm)

 

Now you admit it. Then why do you have to do that then?

(sent 9:18pm)

 

Because I don't want you to think that I can only show my feelings to you through text and not in person. (received 9:20pm)

 

Then why dont you just talk to me in person?

(sent 9:21pm)

 

I can't. Whenever I see I don't know what to do. Don't know what to say. Im too shy. It's really hard for me.

(receive 9:22pm)

 

You know that's how you start it and you find it hard already. Do I look scary? How come you can talk to other girls but me.

(sent 9:23pm)

 

It's because you're different to them. I like you. And I can't talk properly to those I like.

(receive 9:25pm)

 

Are you always like this? I mean before..

(sent 9:26pm)

 

No. This is the first time. Im only like this when it comes to you.

(receive 9:28pm)

 

Reading his text messages. I think I understand him so my angriness earlier already faded away. I cant resist him. He's the only guy who can put smile on my face these days.

 

That night we make up. Were good again and back to normal. He explained already and I understand him. He also admits that he has a crush on that girl named Princess. Well I don't blame him. She's pretty and has an angelic face.

 

--

 

December 13, 2013

 

We were texting and talking about how nice his mom is.

 

When you come here I will introduce you as my future girlfriend and her future daughter-in-law :**

(received 8:33pm)

 

I can do that. No don't worry baby she's nice. She'll be happy once I introduce you to her.

(received 8:35pm)

 

Yes baby but I only introduce 2 girls and that's ages ago. I only introduce a girl when Im really serious to that girl. (received 8:38pm)

 

I already forgot about my past baby. I will start again and you'll be my first and last. If ever we'll be together. (received 8:40pm)

 

I can't wait till that day come. I want to meet his mom already. But I know it'll take long since he hasn't even talk to me in person yet.

 

I was so happy that night. I just can't wait until we'll be going out as officially dating. Not like this with unknown status. Well we're his what you called M.U (Mutual Understanding) Acting like couples but not really a couple.

 

--

 

December 20, 2013

 

For the first time I called him 'baby' as well. And he was very happy because all this time he's the only one saying that.

 

I just can't wait until I can finally say those three words back to him. I want to say it when were officially dating. Im so happy with this guy. I don't know what to do if he finds another girl to love. I just want him to be mine.

 

We promise to each other that He's mine and Im his already. He told me not to let any guy near me but him. It's so selfish but I think it's the sweetest.

 

It's Friday and the last day of school before christmas holidays commence. I won't see him for almost 3 weeks. I miss him already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll update soon chingus! :**