Hyung... I'm sorry.

There were a lot of times in his life where Sanghyuk had thought to himself ‘This is the last place I expected myself to be in’. Then after he had found Hakyeon all those years ago, bleeding and tied to a pole, left to die… That phrase had somehow vanished from his mind. It didn’t seem to apply to his life anymore.

Taking care of Hakyeon, he had learned to expect anything. Then sometimes his brain would wander around for a bit, thinking about all the things that could happen. From time to time he managed to freak himself even. But this seemed to take the cake.

Not only had he never imagined this situation but that forgotten phrase had resurfaced from some dark hidden corner in his head.

Sanghyuk felt a jolt of alarm the second he caught sight of the tattered front door. It swung back and forth in the wind, slamming into the frame and back.

‘What is going on?’

Millions of thoughts were now jamming their way into him alongside the sinking feeling of dread.

The house had never been this carelessly attended to. What went on behind those doors was enough to have those people who called themselves human arrested.

The last thing those people wanted was to be discovered.

So why…?

His finger nails had begun eating away at the flesh of his palm in his unrest. He was completely at a loss of what to do. Had there been a robbery? Was the lock broken?

The old rusting 95 Nissan was nowhere to be seen. That meant that those people weren’t here right? A shiver rippled along his spine as a painful memory resurfaced. No, he didn’t want to see those people again but…

He needed to see Hakyeon. See that he was alright.

He hadn’t realized how hard he was breathing until a slight ache had started to form in his lungs.

‘Calm down…’

He had survived once hadn’t he? Then he could do it again.

Anything for Hakyeon.

It was his job to keep hyung safe. It was a promise that he had made to hyung. He would do whatever he could to protect him.

He stepped towards the door and stood beside the frame, listening for anyone inside. Yet only the wind whistled passed his ears.

When he looked in, all he saw was chaos. The state of the ground floor was appalling. Everything was destroyed. The shelves, the tables, couches, books, carpets, windows, everything! It was wrecked. The place had been mercilessly torn and ripped apart.

He wobbled forward on unsteady feet. He could feel small pieces of glass and metal crunch beneath his shoes.

Hyung was not safe. Something had happened. His throat hurt and his head felt light. The room was too hot for him. He rubbed his face with trembling hands to rid himself of the giddy feeling in his head. He was surprised to find it covered with a sheen of sweat.

He was losing it. Hyung would be okay. He would be fine, yes he would. Yes…

‘I’m fine…’

He would find him and take him home and heal him. Just like he always did. Then it would be normal again. Yes. It would be fine.

His deep ragged breathes of air seemed to add to the weight of each step he took. The stairs creaked and groaned, threatening to collapse from under him. It was scaring him to no end.

Second door on the left right? Yes, that seemed right. He’d only been here once before but… yes.

Second door on the left.

It was closed.

So he had to open it. Yes, of course…

‘Stop being stupid!’ The brunette sighed in frustration. He was just worried. That was all.

Who wouldn’t be?

Quaking hands turned the door knob.

It all hit him too hard.

“No…”

“no… NO!”

He stood, wide eyed and shocked for a split second before fingers tore into his hair, nearly ripping out clumps to steady the spinning room in front of him. His mouth stretched wide letting a ghastly scream cut the air.

Blinding white spots blended with the red splattered on the walls and floor as his head grew heavier. The nails raking his head were now caked in red from his bleeding scalp.

“OH GOD NO!”

His throat clamped painfully as it struggled to bring air in. He couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t see anymore. His vision was now a shadowy blur. The pain in his chest ached but he couldn’t find a way to ease the burn.

 He choked feebly as a sudden pain jarred its way up his knees and he fell to the floor. It burned and burned inside of him. The anguish and shock and fear and hurt. It all burned, drowned him in a pool of agony. He crawled blindly in desperation, his mouth pouring small broken sobs and pleas for any sort of relief

They took his hyung away from him.

The first thing that clung to his fingers, he pulled towards him and cried into it.

“HAKYEON!!!”

Flashback

“Hyung, you shouldn’t stay up so late. You’ll get sick!”

A soft laugh floated through the air.

“I’m serious hyung…” The younger of the two pouted at his hyung’s disregard for his warning.

“You worry way too much you know that?” The boy pouted even more. “Aww… My cute little Hyukie! Okay, okay. I won’t be up too long, arasseo?”

Sanghyuk looked at his hyung with a withering look.

“Hyung, how am I supposed to take care of you if you don’t let me?” Hakyeon looked at the sad look on his dongsaeng’s face and sighed gently.

“Ya… You’re taking this way too seriously. I’m not a child.”

“I don’t care.”

It was Hakyeon’s turn to look upset now.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault you’re in this situation.” Hakyeon pulled the younger boy into his arms and held him tightly.

“Don’t be stupid hyung… This is my own choice isn’t it?”

“Sanghyuk-ah… You know, you can’t always be there to protect me.”

“Just watch me.” A strange look had come over the older male’s face. It was one that Sanghyuk would never see.

“Sanghyuk-ah… If something does… happen to m-”

“Hyung, what are you talking about!?” The younger boy jerked out of Hakyeon’s hold in alarm.

“If something does!” Hakyeon snapped. “Something might happen and I’m telling you that if it does… It will have been because of my own stupidity.”

Sanghyuk stared wide eyed at the lonely gaze in his hyung’s eyes.

“I-I… I said I would protect you… Don’t worry hyung…”

The older boy only turned and resumed his work without a reply.                                  

End

He screamed and screamed his pain until he was coughing red.

“H-hyu… ng…” The pitiful sobs that wracked him wouldn’t seize. He wept until he was reduced to a hiccupping mess.

His chest seized every once in a while and the taste of metal engulfed his tongue.

 Hakyeon’s scent washed over him from the blanket in his arms. Instinctively he bunched it closer to his body, as if trying to absorb what was left of his hyung.

What was left of him…

More tears erupted from his eyes and a strangled cry ripped from his throat.

The sorrowful sound had broken his heart into a million pieces.

‘Sanghyuk-ah… look at me… I’m right here…’ He thought. He strained to make a noise but he hurt all over and inside too. He was certain that he didn’t look human anymore.

All he could do from his place in the corner on the blood stained floor was stare at the broken boy who was bawling his heart out for him.

“S… Sa…” It almost felt like only air was passing through his throat and no sound. He almost couldn’t hear himself.

“Sa… Saaa….”

The boy’s head had flipped around so fast, it was a wonder it had stayed on his shoulders.

His eyes had held a look of fear and panic but instantly morphed into sheer horror.

“Ha- Hak… kyeon…?”

‘I must look terrible… He can’t recognize me…’

All Hakyeon could do was offer him a small broken smile but that had been enough. Within seconds he was prisoner to a crushing hold and an onslaught of tears. Pain was exploding in various parts of his body but he didn’t say anything.

He couldn’t tell Sanghyuk ‘no’.

“You’re alive… you’re… alive…” A mantra full of hurt but mostly relief was recited again and again and again.

“S-s-anghy-“

“Don’t talk hyung, please! Please! Please…”

‘You are so kind Sanghyuk-ah. Why did you come here?’

He tried to laugh but it hurt immensely and came out as a strange cough instead. Sanghyuk panicked and tried to rub small circles on his back. It didn’t work but Hakyeon would never tell him that.

That was when he spotted the limp limb that rested at Hakyeon’s side. His arm no longer looked like a part of him anymore. It was pale and discolored in some areas and swollen with concerning lumps in others. But it hurt the most where the bullet had gone through of course.

The younger gaped in shock as he pulled off my makeshift bandage. The wound was swollen and the skin around the opening was sporting an angry red.

“Hyung, you need a doctor.” Sanghyuk whispered almost afraid that the sound of his voice might hurt Hakyeon

‘I know.’

Suddenly, the roaring sound of an old motor was heard pulling into the driveway.

Sanghyuk’s eyes bulged in their sockets after recognizing the sound. He was trembling so hard. In seconds the younger had taken care to gently lean Hakyeon against the bed frame before rushing to close the bedroom door.

It was only then that Hakyeon realized his parents didn’t know Sanghyuk was here.

"S-s-s-s-sanghyuk-ahhh..."

"Sh-sh-shhh... H-hyung, p-please don't talk! I promise I'll g-get you out of here!" He whispered before pulling Hakyeon back into his arms.

The brunette flinched when a loud bang was heard from the floor downstairs. He could feel the vibrations of the fighting through the floor. Every time something fell or broke, the floor would groan and creak. His chest shuddered with erratic gasps and he pulled his hyung's body tighter into his own.

"H-hyu-k-ah...ah... l-leave now...plea...."

"I won't leave y-you."

Outside the room, roaring sounds of things crashing and breaking were getting louder. Surely someone one be able to hear this much fighting and call for help right?

The warm red wetness soaking into Sanghyuk’s clothes was scaring him to no end, but he tried to push it away. He needed to get Hakyeon out or he was going to die.

"T-t-they'll f-find yo-!" A bout of horrific rasps wracked the older boy's body.

"I'll get you out hyung! I promise. Just hold on f-for me... please..."

Bang!

.

.

.

Thud

His eyes widened in panic. Heavy footsteps were getting louder.

A sad smile flitted across the older boy’s face as he let his precious dongsaeng cry silently into his shoulder. It hurt his now cold pale skin to be touched but he would bear it. He had caused so much pain to the boy in front of him. He would never be able to forgive himself.

Sanghyuk didn’t deserve this.

As much as he wanted to stay awake and let Sanghyuk hold him, he couldn’t.

He couldn’t.

A slight smirk appeared on Hakyeon’s face as a faint sense of Déjà vu washed over him.

‘Once again…’ He thought as his eyelids struggled to stay open. ‘The last thing I will probably see is my precious, crying angel…’

A silent tear rolled down his face and his eyes finally slid to half-mast.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t save you… Sanghyuk-ah…’

The muted sound of footsteps coming through the wall had halted in front of the door. An unpleasant tingle had crawled up his spine as he waited. Something akin to dread was floating around his head.

The man was silent.

Sanghyuk waited for something. Anything. But for a long while the man had just stood outside the door.

It was as if he was waiting for something. What was he waiting for?

The air was as still as stone except for the small wheezing noise that came along with every breath the man took. It sounded deafening.

The faint smell of copper was making him light headed. He looked down at his precious cargo. Hakyeon had been floundering in and out of consciousness. But he looked asleep now. He could feel the soft shallow breaths of air against him. 

He wasn’t able to tell anymore. It had felt like hours yet it could have been only minutes. His own breathing was now in synch with the rhythmic sound of the man’s wheezing.

He almost couldn’t stop himself from gasping, when the man finally turned away. His footsteps banging against the floor, running.

Was that it?

Could they leave now?

There wasn’t much time. The small flutter of movement he felt in his arms was the only thing telling him that Hakyeon was alive. Somewhere during the silence he had been floating in and out of consciousness.

Not a minute later, he heard the front door slam.

What now?

He could feel it bubbling inside him. The intense hysteria. He was panicking.

“Hyung…?” He tried, but only a small sliver of Hakyeon’s eyes were visible. He was asleep. That wasn’t good but he had no choice.

‘Police!’ That’s right! He had to call the police right? Right.

That’s it Sanghyuk. You’re doing the right thing.

It will be okay.

His legs were dead but he forced them out from under Hakyeon. He tried to lay his hyung as gently as possible. He wrapped the bullet wound in Hakyeon’s arm with his sweater, but the blood was already seeping through.

“Hyung, please… Hold on for me. I ‘ll be back.” He got no response except for slightly shivering breathes of air.

He had to do something fast. With that, he inhaled deeply to settle himself.

And that’s when the shock and cold truth came crashing back down on him.

Something was burning.

No…

No. He couldn’t do this.

Hot tears were streaming down his cheeks to join the sweat that clung to his face. White spots were filling the corners of his eyes once more as he stumbled towards the door.

He lost his footing, slipping on the blood on the floor. He fell against the door to discover the faint warmth emanating from it.

The brunette’s eyes widened before fumbling with the door knob. Yanking it open, he was met with clouds of dark smoke. It wasn’t a moment before his lungs started clogging with the acrid fumes.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He had been waiting, and waiting for a chance to escape and now it was gone.

No. NO! This wasn’t happening!

They were supposed to escape! He was supposed to take hyung to the hospital!

They weren’t supposed to die.

The fumes stung his eyes yet they remained wide open.

He was scared. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want hyung to die. But he could do nothing! He saw it. The orange burning flames at the bottom of the stairs making their way up the banister.

You are strong…

No he wasn’t. They were both going to die and would be all his fault. He slammed the door closed again. The once clear room was now filled with a turbid gray.

I promise you… you will both live…

He was going crazy now. He was sure of it.

In the end he had failed Hakyeon. He had promised to protect him all those years ago… But now he was useless.

He ran back and gathered his hyung’s unconscious body into his arms and cried.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry hyung. Please forgive me!” He buried his face into Hakyeon’s neck and let his tears fall to mingle with the blood.

The stench was making him sick.

“I’m so sorry hyung!”

He sobbed his pain and anguish into Hakyeon’s shoulder. He couldn’t even accomplish the one thing he had always put his heart and soul into.

Hakyeon had been counting on him. And he couldn’t do anything!

Please… let me protect you…

He felt so stupid. So worthless.

All he was doing was hiding under the pretense of protecting hyung.

It had always been Hakyeon who protected him.

It was such a simple truth. Why had it taken so long for him to understand that?

Believe me…

He could feel the temperature rising inside the room. It wouldn’t be long before it all burned down. It wouldn’t be long until both of them would cease to exist.

There was no use in fighting. It was all over. He held Hakyeon tighter, taking in the faint scent of his hyung under the layer of blood and smoke.

It would be the last time he would ever see… or hold Hakyeon again.

Why did it have to end this way?

 I will save you…

This was it. He couldn’t hold on any longer. Slowly and gently, he felt the light pulled out of him and surrendered himself to complete darkness.

Thank you...

Hyung… I’m sorry…

Hey.....

Hehehe.....

I'm back!!!!

.____.

So....

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