Hey there... I separated this from the last chap because, I didn't want to give you guys an overload of depression...

But it's still...eh...

He never really understood why he always felt like blowing a gasket each time it happened. Jonghyun stared, eyebrows kirked in anoyance, at his cousin who had been eating... and was STILL eating for the past half hour.

"Yah... If you were this hungry, why didn't you just get something to eat..." He muttered. The look he recieved was telling him 'Are we really going through this again?'. Jonghyun could only groan at his donsaeng's lack of sympathy for his wallet.

The younger of the two had busied himself again by devouring the sandwhich he had bought for him and couldn't be bothered with small talk. He still had no clue why it surprised him so much that despite the plethora of protests that his cousin spewed against eating, his apetite would still be rivaling Godzila's.

Without a word, Ravi stuck his hand out as soon as the last bit of sandwhich vanished in his mouth. Jonghyun, not missing a beat, reached into his bag and pulled out a fifth sandwhich carton and placed it in his cousin's outstretched hand.

A silent sigh left him as he watched Ravi rip open a carton for the fifth time and begin munching. It had already been a while since he had finished his own lunch, but since his lectures wouldn't be starting for another hour, it was his fate to sit and watch as his hard earned money made itself a home in Ravi's stomach.

He decided it wasn't worth it anyway and pulled out his phone to pass time. It wasn't like Ravi was going to stop eating anytime soon either.

To Minho:

     Have the tours started yet? You okay?  O.o

From Minho:

     No, but everyone is here so we will be leaving soon. And yes, I'm fine hyung!

To Minho:

     You know I don't really know whether to believe you or not. Everybody sounds confident behind a screen. :P

From Minho:

     Don't you have any faith in me!!!

To Minho:

     I'm imagining you shaking and sweating and crying for your mommy.

From Minho:

     >:|  Not funny.

To Minho:

     Kekeke! I'm jkn!!!! Minho fighting!!! ;D

From Minho:

     *Sigh* Thanks. :) I'm leaving now so I'll talk to you later.

The blond grinned while reading the last comment. Maybe teasing Minho wasn't the best way to ease his nerves, but it worked.

"Are you done?" He asked while quickly checking his updates.

"Yeah..." came the soft reply. Wait, what?

Jonghyun glanced up from his phone to see Ravi staring absently at the space in front of him. A certain tension was etched into his face and his long fingers were tiwisting together restlessly.

His hazel tinted gaze glimmered with concern as they rested on the first-year's hunched form. With one eyebrow raised, he picked up a napkin and gently brushed away some crumbs on his dongsaeng's mouth. When he didn't recieve any protest, a prickle of worry had started to set in.

"Hey, what's wrong?" His gaze was met with eyes that held a wild array of emotions. Sorrow, guilt, frustration, shame and flashes of others splashed here and there.

"Ravi-ah?" The older boy reached over and slowly took one of the other's hands, slipping it snuggly in between his own. Holding the cold limb tightly in his own, he could feel a slight uncontrolable tremble.

"Tell me, please? What's bothering you?" The brunette was silent for a while before whispering something that Jonghyun had to lean slightly closer to hear.

"A-ah... I... about what happened...you know... on the roof top..." Jonghyun pursed his lips and his eyes had shut tight automatically once he had grasped the situation. So that was what it was...

Ravi wasn't the only one who had been slightly disturbed and saddened by the news, but he, himself and many other students had learned to move on and continue to live. He realized that it was possible that Ravi still couldn't find a way to get passed the incident.

"Is it bothering you that much?" He asked but was only answered with silence. He sighed softly and gripped the younger boy's hand a bit tighter.

"Ravi-ah... Listen to me. I know that it's only your first year here and it is terrible for something like this to happen at the very beginning... I mean, even I was a bit shocked to hear it too even when it has happened before."

The brunette's eyes closed in dismay and grief.

"I'm not saying that it's normal or anything. No one deserve's to reach a point where they have to be deciding whether it would be better to die or not. And I'm not telling you to just forget it or anything. It's hardly something that you can forget... but all I'm saying is that it's in the past now... and there's no point in drowning yourself in those thoughts. All you can really do now is hope that he is at peace now and continue your life."

"But... I..." The look in his eyes when he opened them were something of disbelief. 

"Ravi-"

"I feel so useless hyung..."

Jonghyun sighed at the younger's train of thought. He hadn't really expected his cousin to bring yesterday's events up. But then again, it shouldn't have been surprising at all. Ravi was a boy who had found out that one of his classmates had decided to take their life around the same time he was playing video games in the college lounge.

Realisticaly speaking, Ravi probably wouldn't have been able to do anything regardless of what he was doing at that point in time. But when you put it frankly that you were playing video games while someone was dying... It sort of does feel like a blow to the gut.

So Jonghyun decided to go about with the realistic reasoning.

"Do you know what his name is?" Ravi glanced up at him in confusion.

"What?"

"The boy. His name. What's his name." He was greeted with a blank stare before Ravi replied.

"I... I don't... know."

"Fine. Forget his name. What does he look like."

"I-I don't..." Jonghyun stared at the boy in front of him. Ravi still hadn't caught on to what he was impliying. So he asked another question.

 "Tell me why you feel useless."

"Because I couldn't do-"

"Exactly what could you have done."

The brunette flinched slightly at the sharp tone in his hyungs voice. "You're not his friend, you don't know his name. Hell, you don't even know what he looks like."The whole time Ravi couldn't look away from the steel gaze the blond boy held him in. "You didn't know how he was feeling, you didn't know he was going to do something like this. What do you think you could have done?"

The silence between them had been defening and tense, but Jonghyun needed to get it out that taking the blame was not going to solve the problem nor was it going to bring anyone back.

For as long as he had known Ravi, he had always did his best to guard and protect him. But now he realized he might have made a mistake in doing that. Jonghyun had shielded him from the truth to protect him, but now it seemed as though he was going to be hurt even more because of it.

Moments passed until Jonghyun softened his gaze once he had registered the alarm on his dongsaeng's face. He hadn't noticed before, but ravi's hand was now warm and sweaty.

He looked away from the boy in front of him, choosing to stare out the window instead. The snow that had been falling earlier had now stopped and left a thin blanket of sparkling white.

"You can't blame yourself for this Ravi-ah. If you did that, you might as well blame yourself for World War one as well." He heard a scoff come from the brunette before he mumbled something under his breath.

"I know... I'm sorry." He heard Ravi say a bit later. "It's just that... How can someone just make a decision like that... How can they do that? It can't be that simple... To just think that there is no other solution for them than to die? Is it really all there is to it...?"

The first time Jonghyun had experienced a similar situation, it had happened during his second-year. He had been one of the unfortunate ones, who had happened to walk by the wide floor length windows on ground floor. He had just come out of his last lecture when a body had fallen onto the grounds in front of the window.

The blood splattering across the cement, the screams that had filled the halls, the terror and shock that had coursed through his veins. All of it never really registered until the paramedics were pulling him away and treating him for shock.

The experience of seeing someone die in front of you like that. It never leaves you the same.

"Trust me Ravi, when I say that it is no little decision..." Ravi noticed his hyung's eyes were now glazed over with an emotion he couldn't recognize. It was almost as if he was no longer there. "If someone is pushed that far that they think that ending their life is the only salvation that they can find, it is nearly impossible to understand to try and tell them that you understand and expect them to believe that. It is so hard to know how to help someone like that."

Ravi stared at the hands around his own before bringing his free hand up to clasp the older boy's right hand. It was cold against his own moist ones.

"Stay over tonight." Jongyhyun murmured.

"Eh? Hyung, I-"

"For me?" There was a soft tone of deperation hidden in the blonds voice but if Ravi had caught it, he didn't mention it.

"Arasseo..."

"So please keep in mind that my office will only be open from 9:00 am to 3:00 pm. You must submit your work within that time and I repeat there are no drop dead dates and also..."

Jaehwan had already been half asleep even before the half mark point of the lecture. Whenever anybody asked, he would always say that lectures seemed to place some kind of spell on him. Even to this day, he could not remember a leture that he not slept in.

True, Sanghyuk had been there most of the time to elbow him in the ribs every now and then, but that stopped becoming effective a while ago. A tired huff exclaimed his disappointment in Sanghyuk's sudden decision to not show up. The two boys weren't in the same year but they were both taking psychology and strangely they had become friends.

Jaehwan glanced lazily towards the corner clock before biting his cheek in annoyance. His Prof. had droning on and on about an upcoming due date for the last five minutes but there was still five minutes!

Unable to restrain his boredom, he let his head fall to the desk top creating a resounding slam throughout the lecture hall.

The Prof. paused her speech, and 300 heads along with her own turned towards Jaehwan.

"Is there a problem?" She asked. The matter-of-fact tone in her voice grated even more on the Jaehwan's nerves.

"Can I leave!!!???" He whined. Bursts of giggles flooded the hall at his cute and honest complaint. 

"Excuse me but it is your loss if you don't stay. I am giving you tips for your work."

"But I already know everything!" And he proceded to recite the whole list of facts, tips and due dates the Prof. had stated in the span of two minutes leaving the hall in utter disbelief.  "See! Please!  I can't stand your voice anymore!"

The Prof.'s splutter of protest was drowned in the wave of laughter that ensued. Jaehwan smirked as he watched the second hand move. As soon as it hit the twelve he had wasted no time sprinting out the door.

 The bright sunlight and frigid air had never felt so welcome than it did right then. The caramel haired boy stood with closed eyes and deep breaths, letting the soft cold breeze blow over him.

Feels beautiful!

Jaehwan blinked his eyes open and took in the shining cloak of white. His fatigue now fleeting away by the second, his heart was being filled with a light feeling of happiness and peace.

This was what he wanted.

A sweet, mellow smile had formed on the boy's lips at the thought. Glancing up at the clearing sky, he whispered a promise.

I will find you.

I promise that there will be more happier chapters.

But this chapter kinda needed to happen so...

sry.

Tell me how this Third Person thing is working for you in the Comments down below.