I woke up to the sound of blaring music from my brother's room. I'm used to it but it was louder than usual today. And the song...it's not death metal. I pulled the blanket down, revealing my face from the conceal and listened to the song. It was really weird. The fact that my brother is not playing a death metal and suddenly changing into a different genre on the very first day of my pledge, is totally weird.

“Can you please play something less stupid in the morning?” I said to my brother over breakfast one morning.

“It's more than just idiotic noise. There are melodies, patterns, and complexities to be realized and appreciated if enough time is spent soaking it all in,” he was acting smart and handing a line. His words spat 'I am smarter than you. Mom and dad loves me more. You're more stupid that my stupid music'. Not literally. My brain processed it that way.

“No, thank you.”

아메리카노 좋아 좋아 좋아

아메리카노 진해 진해 진해

It's indie. It's my favourite song. I had my ears to it and I found myself smiling. It was really nice to listen to something that I like in the morning and not death, literally. I stayed in bed until the song ended and another indie song replaced it.

“Am I dreaming? What is this?” I quickly sat up and listened to the song. Yup, definitely another indie. Gosh, I can stay in my room forever if my brother kept doing this but nothing lasts forever. Because the moment I was done with that thought, the music stopped. My momentary rapture has ended. My brother had left for his class. I groaned as I got out of bed to prepare for school.

Day one.

“So...day one. Should I go with this? Why did I even do this?” I was talking to myself. This is why I am convinced there is nothing to live for. I mean, if there was something, I won't be talking to myself. I could be thinking to myself but not talking to myself. But what's wrong with talking to myself? It's not like I have anyone to talk to.

“Ughh shut up brain!” I muttered. I was observing almost everything on my way to school, walking ever so slowly that if there were people walking behind me, they'd sure -talk. It's getting cold since winter is coming. Autumn is already cold and when winter comes, it's basically freezing. Should snow come early this year, I will not even see it.

It's the time of the year for foliage, or I call it fake death. Because trees look like they're dying but they're just shedding leaves and come back to life after winter. I wish I was a tree or some sort. I could be 'dead' for a span of time and people would find me fascinating and when the time comes, I'm back alive, full blossom. But I'm not a tree. And I don't look forward to blossom because in seven days, I would be free.

I shuddered as the wind blew. Winter uniforms are really useless. The pants are made of cotton and that's dumb. And nothing else is different from summer uniforms. The school made it a point that students must take their own initiative to stay warm during winter because they wanted to make sure that we're using our brains in every aspect of life. And that is literally out of the book. They should just give us insulated pants.

A new bakery cafe opened up just a corner from school. Freshly baked pastries was what it had all over. The smell, the cute signboard outside, the pretty buns on display...why am I not hungry again? I didn't realise I was staring at the shop from afar until a bell rang. The small ring bell placed on top of the door was the culprit. I saw a boy coming out of it while saying goodbye to his dogs, I supposed. Oh, dogs are allowed in the cafe. That one's a poodle and that...might be a local breed. Then my eyes went back to the boy who was wearing a school uniform, but I've never seen him before, so he might be a new student or a senior or a junior but I'd rather not point any of my guess. He walked to school and I waited until he was out of sight before I went.

I decided to skip class so I waited under a tree next to the assembly hall. I realised something was engraved on the tree I was under.

'Bona ♥ Chanyoung'

“Eww~” I had goosebumps. That was major cheesiness.

“May both of you drown in a pile of cheese,” I cursed them in my head as I destroyed their little love proclamation to a tree by making deep scratches with a knife-edged stone. Lucky found. I'm regretting it already but I'm going to hell anyway. A few school bells later, I'm in the darkest corner of the library, the rated section. I don't know why the school even has this section. It's basically dead because the students all feed off internet . I only came here to sleep.

“Hey. Hey, are you alive?” I heard someone said as I felt my shoulders being poked.

“What?” I looked up and my eyes widen instinctively once I saw the person's face. It was the boy from the cafe. He was stunned, perhaps he thought I was really dead. I left in a hurry, grabbing my bag and went for the exit. I hope he doesn't report me to a teacher. I don't want to be in trouble, again.

I thought that once I was out from the library, everyone would be everywhere. But no. Classes were still on. So the boy must be skipping classes too. Woah, okay. I didn't go to my class for sure, because it will be weird that I showed up out of the blue after being missing for the classes before. So I went to the music room. Well, I stayed outside the music room since someone was inside. I come here frequently for the bel canto. The stranger with a divine voice.

I know I'm no angel, but I'm not so bad
Just you know
beautiful girls all over the world
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted

Whoever the stranger might be, he has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. And the window-less room was not helping either. I will never know who the person with the lovely voice is. The school bell rang later and I realised school has ended for the day. I didn't know I was in the library for so long and I wasn't even reading.

I should go back home but I didn't want to. As I leave, other students glanced at me, as usual, but soon continued on their way. The new bakery cafe entered my head, the idea of staying there, sipping off latte until I feel like going home is nice.

I scanned the menu that they have on the board up the cashier. There's not much but everything was in large print so I felt like a toddler reading a whiteboard.

“What would you like, miss?” a lady came and asked. She looks pretty. Maybe mid 20s'. Her peach-orange lips caught my eyes for a moment. I wonder where she bought her lipstick.

“Miss?”

“Oh. A caramel latte, please,” I placed an order and got it after a few minutes. The service is fast. I'm liking this place already. Alas, I'll only enjoy it for another six days or less.

I sat near the window and as I gazed out the empty alley, the boy earlier on passed by, walking his dog. I'm sure it's a poodle but it looks more like a toy poodle. It was too big for a toy poodle though so not a toy poodle. Then, the boy entered the cafe. I almost choked on what I believed was my latte but it was actually air, because my lips never got to the mouth of the cup.

I immediately left to avoid being recognised. It was awkward enough that he found me at the rated section in the school library. I'm grateful that my drink was given in a take-away cup or else it would be a waste of precious money. Gosh, all of this is queer. The bakery cafe suddenly popping up without any hint of reconstruction before was worth of ignorance but the boy who kept showing up was the problem. I normally would take no notice of people but somehow this person made me self-conscious and I don't know why.

I reached home expecting mom to throw a fit at me for being home so late but she didn't say anything. She kept watching her drama which Jang Geun Seuk was the main lead; that man still with his girlish hairstyle, distasteful, so I made my way to my room. Washing up and changing into PJs took only a few minutes because I was quite lazy to take my time.

I went out to the balcony to see if the stars are out. But in a city polluted by neon lights, celestial bodies would only paint the sky if there's a blackout. I looked down and I saw my brother having a smoke, so blatant and blithe. He was also on the phone, probably his friend was on the other line. I heard something about assignments, girls then ledger? Cloud service? Whatever they were talking about.

“Aye, Hyerin,” he called out when he looked up. I simply put up my right hand as a reply. He lighted another cigarette to get inebriated by the smoke. I was sick to every possible nerve in my body by the smell. I went back into my room and shut the door tightly.

I sat at my study table and stared at the pointless sticky notes on the wall. Birthday dates of long gone friends. Addresses of good cafes. And one old Polaroid of me and an old friend; who had the better of life since she got a scholarship in music to Japan. I took it down and kept it in my wallet. I'll bring it down with me.

“Should I start a diary?” I thought. I took an old diary that I hadn't used in ages and tore the used pages out. Starting afresh, to countdown the days to my chosen departure soon. So I start writing down what I had in mind about the day and a load of nonsense about cartoons. I don't even know why cartoons was my choice to fill in the pages .

Day one. Okay. Started well, as if the world knows I should get hold of life and not pass it up by making me smile the first thing in the morning. Nice trick world. Not gonna fall for it. Six days to go and I'll be out of wherever I am.

A/N : First day and things are weird huh? Guess who the boy is~ Really easy one. REALLY. And the diary will be a big part of this at the end so stick around if you're curious. Get some Americano people. It'll refresh your mind and soul.