When the Sun rose the next morning, it was cold and nothing was really to be happy about. It was a very bed weather, pun intended. But Kai has all the more of reasons to wake up and get ready for school. Because Hyerin survived her seven days and today, he would see her in the journey of surviving another 77 years. He's anticipating a beautiful face of Son Hyerin to be beaming at him when he reached the school gates.

Kai waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Until the school bell rang, indicating the start of classes. Hyerin never came and Kai went to his class with a heavy heart. He couldn't concentrate in any of the lesssons, mind constantly drifting into thoughts about Hyerin and her whereabouts.

“Right on target!” the same rascal cheered when his spitball hit Kai. But Kai was too down to mind his childish antics. More spitballs came but all Kai did was wipe off the spit stains after the foul balls fell to the ground. The rascal was caught in action and brought to detention, again. Kai's eyes followed him when he was dragged out and Hyerin was all he thought of. Kai remembered how he defended her the last time their dumb classmate threw spitballs at her. Pure luck that a teacher actually came in and saved the day. Good memories.

And Maths class was all about revision again. Kai didn't have Hyerin to ask for help so he turned to his right, a male classmate whom Kai never had the guts to talk to. In fact, he never talked to anyone else in the class except for Hyerin. Thankfully, he's nice enough to answer and helped Kai. Science class, Miss Gu didn't ask any bizarre questions about the atmosphere or animals or cells or chemicals. Maybe because Hyerin wasn't there to answer. Although Kai was disturbed by thoughts of Hyerin, he had no choice but to concentrate. If Miss Gu were to throw him an unreasonable question of the ideal living surroundings for bacteria, he would never be able to answer as easy as Hyerin would. Though, she never left his mind.

Hyerin. She didn't come the next day, or the day after that. She didn't come for the whole week. Kai was ill at ease.

“She's still alive Kai. Nothing to be worried about,” he tried to convince himself but it didn't help much. Kai knows Hyerin is more fragile than glass and he fears for the worst; a dead Son Hyerin. He would have the guilt of his life if such thing happens. He failed to changed her mind about something so morbid; suicide.

Since the first day Hyerin was missing from school, Kai had posted up nonsense about falling skies and translucent faith in hopes of Hyerin might notice and reply him. Nothing. Hyerin had stopped posting anything on her page either. She disappeared, just like that. Kai had been reading the newspaper lately. Just to make sure the news of a dead high school student won't make it as an article. As yet, no such news. So Kai was able to breathe for the days.

“Hyung, have you seen Hyerin?” Kai had asked Kyungsoo for the possible millionth time. The latter would only shook his head.

“Do you think she's still alive?”

“Of course she is. If not, you'll be seeing her making headlines. She might be off on a vacation and forgot to tell you or something,” Kyungsoo replied, in a small effort to console his wearied friend.

“Should I hire an investigator?” Kai blurted and Kyungsoo could not say anything more to all of this. Days turned to weeks. Kai was starting to feel restless about Hyerin's disappearance. The idea of hiring an investigator was feasible if only he had the money to hire one. All he could do was post more claptrap on SNS, ruffle Kyungsoo's feather about his worries and maybe, just maybe find solace in destructive smoke and firewater.

Kai finally went to Hyerin's house and he was surprised why he didn't think of doing so earlier. But all he saw was a large sign in front of the gate; TO LET.

“She's gone?” a question which Kai knew an answer to it, yes. Hyerin was gone. All the horrid things he had thought began attacking his head. Hyerin moved to another country. Hyerin was robbed and killed on the way to school. Hyerin was forced by her parents to study abroad. Hyerin was overdosed. Hyerin killed herself. All of it came and Kai felt as if someone had hit his head with a metal baseball bat.

However, his heart was in more pain. To which was reasoned by the feelings he had for her. Hyerin was different than any other girls he knew. She was outspoken yet humble in a way. And what she had been through, all the hardships and , he felt her pain and sadness. It was something only Hyerin had in common with him. He felt comfortable and he likes her because of that. But now, it has turned into an invisible past.

“Kai-yah, where are you? Your sister called me, asking if you were at my place,” Kyungsoo asked through the phone.

“Hyung, she's gone. Hyerin's gone,” a sudden outburst of tears, Kai himself wasn't expecting.

“Kai, where are you?!” Kyungsoo raised his voice, fearing his friend will do something stupid.

“Hyung, it hurts,” Kai clenched his chest and by then, Kai was bawling. As if his dogs were taken away from him by force, as if another family member was dead, as if he had a wife and she had ran away with another man. Someone significant was gone from his life.

Kyungsoo braved the cold wind that night. Searching for Kai everywhere and finally found him in front of a house that was to let. Hyerin's house, he guessed.

“Kai, where did you get that?” Kyungsoo's eyes widened at the sight of the lighted cigarette between his index and middle finger. It was half way smoked. Kai looked up, swollen eyes and bleeding lips, bitten too hard because he tried to stop crying his eyes out.

“Hyung,” he breathed as he stood up.

“I asked, where did you get that?” Kyungsoo didn't dare to take a step nearer. He hates the smell of cigarette smoke. When Kai in what his lungs desired for a very long time and breathe out smoke of pain and disgust, Kyungsoo snatched the stick from his hand and threw it away.

“Stop.”

“Hyung.”

“Just stop.”

“Hyung, can I get a drink? A bottle of beer. Hyung, please,” Kai pleaded.

“Kai, stop it. She's just a girl. Another one of those useless girls. Kai, snap out of it!” Kyungsoo didn't know he had the hatred in him.

“She's not just a girl hyung! She's Hyerin. Son Hyerin!” Kai screamed, hint of smoke still lingering in his breath.

“I think I love her,” Kai's voice dropped and his eyes glistened again.

“But you only knew her less than a week,” Kyungsoo reasoned.

“That doesn't mean I can't love her,” Kai shot back.

“She didn't knew you existed before.”

“Neither do I!” Kai denied his wretched past.

“Kai, lets go back home,” Kyungsoo was tired of his act.

“Hyung, I want her back,” Kai grabbed Kyungsoo's hands.

“I want her back,” Kai broke down for the second time. He dropped to his knees and wailed. He kept saying he wants Hyerin back, he wants to spend more time with her, wanting to know more about her. Was Kyungsoo okay with all of this? No, not really. But he had brought himself to bend down and hugged Kai comfortingly.

“Oh Kai, what am I going to do with you?” a sigh of defeat from Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo lived with trepidation since that day. He was afraid Kai would go extreme and ended up dead. So he kept a close eye on him and made sure his studies were okay, for the least. Going to Kai's home everyday had became a new routine for him. Kai had received a small parcel one day. From Hawaii.

“Open it,” Kyungsoo told him. Kai did as he was told. A DVD, a worn out purple diary and a photo of Hyerin. A smile formed on Kai's lips.

“Hyung!” Kai shouted as he hold up the photo to Kyungsoo. It was a photo of Hyerin in front of a beach. Must be one of those famous Hawaii beaches. While Kai was staring at the photo with a goofy grin, Kyungsoo took the DVD and played it on the TV. A short-haired Hyerin appeared on screen and Kai looked up.

“Is it recording? Already? Okay. Hey...I mean, Kai-yah, annyeong! Hyerin here. I hope you haven't forgot about me. It's been a few weeks since we last met, and when you receive this it would be probably a month because of the shipping time span.

Anyways, how are you? I hope you're well because I am. With proof that I don't need to take pills anymore. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I moved. I had a fever the day after we last met and I had to skip school. My parents decided to move because of my dad's business. My parents went to LA but I persuade them to let me go Hawaii. Thank God I speak a bit of English. Speaking of God, I've been going to church lately. It still feels awkward but it'll go away in a few weeks. Sally said I should take classes to be baptised and confirmed. Maybe I will soon. Honolulu's amazing but it's hot here. Oh, I cut my hair. Do you like it? I don't look pretty but who cares right? And I made new friends! I'm a member of their band too. Really cool, no?

Moving on, I sent you this DVD and my diary because I want you to know how much you have changed my life. In the diary is my seven days written out of spite in the first few days. But later, I met you and things changed. Not immediately of course, because you never actually convinced me into not committing suicide. I was just amused at how hard you were trying to give me reasons to live and how much you wanted to spend time with me. It was really nice to have you as company, for a change. You're nice, unlike the other kids. Kyungsoo-sshi is nice too. Both of you are really good people.

Thanks Kai. For, you know, trying to keep me alive. At first I though you were crazy for talking to me but then later, I figured you are crazy. I mean, you're nonsense, really. And you're friends with Pororo, by Pororo I mean Kyungsoo-sshi. You're both are good lads but really weird. Even with all that, I still like you guys. I talked more and it feels good. I don't have to talk about myself and I had more laughs with you guys than I did when I was a child. I have things to pray for now. I pray for all the good things in life and I pray for the both of you. I pray that may God bless you for the charity you have done, that is helping a hopeless soul named Hyerin.

Kai, I hope you don't smoke and drink again. You'll get lung cancer and a dysfunctional liver or kidneys, whatever. Sehun's a . Don't go back to him. Stay in school and study well. I want to see you in Hongik Uni. I still have our photo in front of the university. And may Kyungsoo...wait, isn't he older than us? Then, how was he always in the school? Is he in the special class of resitting candidates? Ahh well, may he go to a good university too. He trusted me to help him take care of you. Guess I disappointed him by moving,” Hyerin stopped talking for a moment and the living room was dead quiet. Kai and Kyungsoo waiting for Hyerin to continue.

“I found a poem online. 'A few reasons to stay alive'. I would say seventy percent of why I'm still alive was because of that poem. A part of it says,

'accept death with open arms

when it comes for you,

not when you come for it.'

The poem was beautiful and...it reminded of us. The few days we had spent together and the few things we did. Our black past. Actually, I could stay in Korea if I wanted to but the reason why I decided to move away was because I was scared. Beside the fact that I can run away from Dasom and Junhee, I was scared.

I was writing my diary that seventh day and I...I realised I was starting to fall for you. Fall for your eccentricity, your kindness, your gorgeous face, your voice...Pretend I never said the last two things! So, I was scared that when I actually fall in love with you, it won't last. I'll be heartbroken and I won't have anyone again. I'll be alone like how I used to be and you'll forget about me. And I'll be back on the ledge of the rooftop again. So I ran away. But now, I regret it a bit. I miss you. I miss your voice, seeing you in the mornings with the dogs, your unfunny jokes, liking arms with you even though I was kind of annoyed then. It's weird not seeing you in person. I don't know why but it's just weird. But I bet you don't feel the same way. I'm guessing that you finally made friends with the rest of Senior 1 and I will just be a speck in your memory. I just hope that speck is valuable, aight Kai?

I'm coming back for Christmas. That'll be two months from now. I look forward to celebrating it together. Show me why Christmas is your favourite holiday, okay? I want to make it my favourite too. And buy me some fried chicken. And...dance for me. Dance to Kyungsoo singing a song. You told me I should see you dance. Though, I can't stay for long so I hope the few days that I'm back, it will be an awesome one, with you.

It's painful and sad for me to say goodbye. Because the few days we met were too short and I had to close the book to my seven days. So I'm not saying goodbye. I'll say...see you soon. Thank you for everything and it must be one hell of a journey for you, helping me change my mind about life. Thank you, Kim Jongin,” and with that, Hyerin's video letter ended with her laughing as she wiped her wet eyes. Kyungsoo stretched and look to his side.

“Gosh Kai, are you crying again?” Kyungsoo asked in disbelief.

“She's coming back. Hyung! Hyerin's coming back for Christmas! I can't wait!” Kai wiped the slight tears he had on his cheeks and hugged Kyungsoo in excitement. Like a child who just found out his dad will be back for Christmas after being out for a few months for work, Kai was that happy. He doesn't need to be worried whether Hyerin is alive or not now. He knew she's safe and she's living life to the fullest. And when Christmas comes, he'll meet her again. He will ask for a dance under the falling snow, hold her hand, hug her and maybe, kiss her again. All of which, Kai was looking forward to do.

Hyerin always thought that her life was a puzzle with no pieces. Whoever in her life were the pieces that never existed. But when Kai came, he changed the puzzle into a different picture and he became the first piece to more significant pieces. Hyerin had went through depression and attempted suicide. They were now a past which she was afraid to come back to. Because she knows how lonely it gets, how cold the nights are and how dreams of the future become dark. So now, Hyerin would only think of clear skies, calm beaches, comforting weather and sometimes, the caramel-skinned, wonderful, quirky lad named Kai.

“Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.”
― Neil Gaiman

THANK YOU FOR READING ♥

Credits to Meggie for the poem