Day 3
Seven DaysDo you know the feeling of being awaken by irksome noise you wished you were deaf? That was just about how I felt when I woke up the the alarm this morning, so I walked over to the side table to turn off the screaming device.
“Good for nothing,” I rubbed my eyes and all goes to focus slowly, bit by bit. I was still in my school uniform. So I went to the washroom and took forever and a day to wash up. It's a good time to try the new shower gel I picked up from the organic shop the other day which made me smelled like citron tea when I got out of the shower.
“Nice.”
Breakfast was already served on the table. Of ham, roasted chicken fillet and hash. It's weird to have something roasted for breakfast. This is either yesterday's leftover or the maid was being super extra nice to cook up something heavy. I sat down, took it all in and started eating.
I was late for school but then again, do I ought to care? I'm not going to graduate anyway. Unless, a dead body can be certified then I might just have a death and a graduation certificate under my name through one course. Nothing is of my desire now. All I care about is to leave. Because in a few more days, I am.
“Yah, Gaeol's here,” I heard someone said when I entered the class. Even when I use the back door, they'll notice. It's already the third period of school, but the teacher in charge was not in yet. No one took heed of my intentional tardiness and the class president didn't seem to mind either; who had took out the attendance book, probably to tick my name in for the day.
I took my seat and I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“Compiled,” Kai showed me what he'd done with our assignment yesterday; made it into a rather professional-looking thin bind book. How did he ever... I simply showed him a thumbs up and a half smile. I'm not feeling generous to smile today but at least a finished assignment was a reason to start small.
I only had to survive three periods before recess, which I did. I only took the fruit during recess because a good breakfast apparently could fill me up until evening, perhaps. I went to my spot, sat down and after a few minutes, no Kai. I should not be relieved that the only person that I can talk to in school was not with me, but I was. Nothing was to attract any attention towards me without him around. That's great.
“Yah, gaeol,” a hard nudge to my shoulder and the apple almost dropped from my hand. It was Dasom and trouble was not near but here. By now, I wished Kai was with me.
“I heard you have a new friend,” she spoke.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” I replied diffidently.
“You need to know where you stand, Gaeol. You can't just make friends with whoever you want,” Junhee said. Honestly, I don't know why Dasom is friends with her. Junhee is a china doll which was smashed and got pieced together with super glue. Her life is a clapped-out story, infamous for her troubled family and their debt problems. And her attitude is sicker than toxic. Oh wait, so that's how they clicked.
“I bet she went to a shaman and put a spell on him,” Dasom told Junhee. I am totally out of their conversation because what shamanamana are the talking about?
“What potion did you use?”
“I seriously don't know what you're talking about,” I was starting to get pissed. I mean, if they were to make fun of me or anything, can't they at least use proper language?
“You trash! Don''t act innocent. I know you're trying to get my ex on your side. Are you aiming to get more people on your side? Do you want the whole school to acknowledge your 'beauty'? You are only a fake, Gaeol,” Junhee started spitting harsh words to my face, not literally. was as dry and nasty as thinner. I was dumbfounded. I don't know who her ex is and getting people on my side was only a hopeless dream to even imagine.
“Kai,” a voice echoed in my head and my eyes widen bigger than extraterrestrial saucers. Holy .
“I'm going to make you regret ever talking to him,” Junhee jeered and to be honest, I have infinite regrets on everything since I was born.
“I'm sorry I can't sit with you during recess. I had something to do,” Kai came up to me before classes started again.
“Don't worry. It's better that way,” I replied him in my head. I didn't want to talk to him anymore. To say I was traumatised by Junhee, no. I was rather mortified.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked. I simply nod him away and thankfully, he went back to his seat. When classes were on-going, Kai kept asking questions which I find quite arbitrary. I answered him anyway, with short and simple words; yes, no, maybe, page 23, section 6.
After school, I went to the indoor stadium to clear my mind. To delete things if I could. I sat on the highest seat at the bleachers and let an appeasing sigh. Empty, lonely, quiet and only my clamorous thoughts.
I started thinking about why Kai came up to me. Out of all the people in the class. I do not, at all, look friendly. Not even close. And he kept coming as if he didn't notice judging eyes given to him and I whenever we were seen together. Two arm-spans apart that is. And he's Junhee's ex. Didn't that make him realise how useless it was to talk to me?
If only I jumped and not let my puny self to hold back. I would be gone, free from all of this nuisance.
“But really hyung, you really need to meet her. She's like the smartest person I've ever met,” I heard a familiar voice after the loud, echoing sound of the door opening and closing.
“Oh, I'm not smart? But good for you Jongin-ah, you made a friend. You have two friends now,” I don't know if the other person was being sarcastic or not but his flat tone didn't state otherwise. I realised his voice was also of a lower volume, but still audible.
I thanked whoever that gave me 20/20 vision. I shifted my gaze from the scoreboard that was out of order; we've been using manpower to handle scores whenever there was a game since months ago, to the new people who had just entered the vacant stadium. Because I don't think myself as a being at the moment, but vapour of disorientated mind.
And when they came clear to my vision- Really? Really? Why is my luck so bad? All I wanted was to get away from him and which heavens made him come here? Oh, yes. I am talking about Kai. He was with another person, whom I've also never seen before. He has ridiculously huge eyes and shoulders which looked like they had given up on the world. Somehow, he exuded 'Pororo'.
I was on the very top seat, impossible to spot, so I thought. But 'Pororo' saw me and his eyes widen I swear it almost popped out of its sockets. By instinct, he pulled Kai by the hem of his shirt and pointed to my direction. Can I disappear right now?
“Hyerin!” Kai shouted. I stood up and quickly walked away, to leave of course. Leave before anything odius happens.
“Hey, where are you going?” too late. Kai had stood at the end bleachers with a welcoming smile, not welcoming at all considering the situation.
“I have to...go somewhere.”
“Somewhere, where?” and that caught me by surprise. I thought of an answer, a few seconds too late because Kai had grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me towards his other friend, who was still motionless like an effigy in the middle of the court.
“This is Kyungsoo. Hyung, this is Hyerin. The one I told you about,” Kai introduced me to his friend and vice versa. Did he just say- Wait. What?
“The smartest person I have ever met,” he patted my head lightly. This is getting a little bit uncomfortable but I don't think he noticed it. On the hand, I was the person he was talking about earlier. I am the smartest person he has ever met. Was he for real now?
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo uttered. He looked shocked and bewildered as if I was a serial killer. Perhaps, he knew who I was. My high school identity. Fake face.
Kyungsoo pulled Kai from my side and whispered something to him. Of 'told you to make friends', 'are you sure she's nice' and 'I don't feel good around her'. I can't hear his complete sentences but by what I heard, he didn't like my presence, my existence. I decided to leave while Kai was occupied by his disapproving friend.
“Hyung, she's nice. You're just being paranoid,” and that made me turn around instantaneously. Kai just said I'm nice, defended a possible friendship and called his friend paranoid. Possibly, something good might come out if I stay so I walked back.
“Is this your new partner?” I am so uncoordinated most of my life and being so at this very moment was totally big time humiliation. What came out of my mouth was definitely not what I wanted to ask. Really.
“That's the funniest thing I heard today,” Kai laughed and for the first time he looked pretty darn charming. Unlike Kyungsoo. His eyes were still wide as saucers and the book he had in his hands? I bet he wanted to throw them at me and stab me with something blunt to make sure I suffer the pain of him trying to kill me.
“Kyungsoo here, is my dearest friend. The best hyung ever. Caring and friendly,” Kai had Kyungsoo in a headlock, jokingly pulling him down and surprisingly, Kyungsoo played along. Caring and friendly. A combo that I do not see in Kyungsoo right now.
“Oh okay. Umm, I should leave. I don't want to disturb buddy time,” I faked a smile and gave them an excuse to leave. I didn't want to stay after all. Kyungsoo might just actually kill me. I'd rather let him but that'll make him a killer. 'Pororo' should not have an image of a killer.
So much for leaving. Kai made me stay because Kyungsoo had the most intention to leave. He didn't even want to stay with Kai in first place and me being here was his golden opportunity. So Kai and I just sat there, in the middle of the basketball court, with lollipops in our mouths, too little effort to mend the silence surrounding us.
“Do you want to hear a story?” Kai broke the stillness. I simply nod. Without any reason, his voice had suddenly became a desideratum. I wanted to hear more of him.
“I used to hate life.”
“I'm still hating it,” I replied and Kai was surprised but I showed him an expression, allowing him to continue.
“I flunked in every subject. No one ever cared about that. And home feels like prison because of stupid curfews my dad set. I went into a black hole. I was like a messed up that's just barely hanging on, you know. I'm never in class because I'm mostly with the delinquents, wasting money to kill ourselves,” all that coming out from him was peculiar. Such unexpected darkness.
“I thought I'd be fine since my dad never cared. And I'm never sick by what I was doing. My sister called me one day, sounding dramatic and obnoxious, said dad wanted to see me. I ended the call and went for a drink with my friends. I never knew that was my last chance to talk to my dad.”
“How come? He left you?”
“My dad had lung cancer. He kept it from me because he wanted to me to focus in school. Little did he know his little punk here was not even in school. I hated him for being hard on me but I hated him more for not telling me he's sick. He wanted to hang on at least until I graduate. He asked the doctors to give him whatever drugs they could manage to let him live, until I graduate.”
“Where is he now?”
“Watching over me,” a soft, serene smile and with that, I finally realised he had used past tense whenever he spoke about his dad.
“I waited for a subway. Counted seconds to jump. So I can meet my dad, ask for forgiveness, and be a good son. But sanity stopped me. And the memory of my dad saying I should not smoke, saying I should study hard, saying I should watch soccer with him whenever I have the time during weekends, saying I should make him proud someday. He actually believed it when I told him I was out late for prep classes. I called him an idiot, not knowing I was the idiot,” his voice trailed ever so softly. He was trying to hold back the tears, hiding his face with his hands. I didn't know what to do so I stayed awkwardly silent. A few sniffles and coughs, he finally looked up.
“I'm sorry. I'm such a girl,” he chortled but rather forced. He said it was getting late, and we should be going home, so we did. He offered to walk me home, so he did.
“So, does your story have an ending?” why do I always say stupid things? Stupid stupid stupid stupid stu-
“No. I'm not ending it. There's still life after graduation,” he answered coolly. It's weird that he still have hope to live. After all the quandary he had went through, if I were him, I would lie down on the subway rails instead of jumping. Lying down, waiting for death to come pick you up.
“See you tomorrow,” he said, a tired grin together with it. He left with sagging shoulders. I hope he's okay. I hope he doesn't cry himself to sleep tonight. I hope his dad will watch over him and keep him company in his dreams.
A few seconds later, my brother came from the opposite direction. Probably had went to the nearby mart to fetch some stuff. A lighted cigarette between his index and middle finger caught my eyes.
“You're home early,” sarcasm with thick smoke engulfing me. He was exhaling carcinogens to my face on purpose. Completely vexed, I stomped his foot making him bawl in pain.
“You're going to have lung cancer and die young!”
That night, a black ball pen and faded pages accompanied me until 3am.
I should give up on this seven days thing. I'm tired of it. Having a random classmate who told me his scarred history was surprising. He had the same mixed up soul as I am; crazier than the craziest cocktail mix. There's so many things to take in and Kai's dad...at least Kai had someone who had faith in him. Do I? Will I ever have someone? I wonder if he gets me if I told him my story.
A/N : Citron tea really smells amazing. And what??? Kai is Junhee's ex? That's crazy. And Kyungsoo came in. How do you like him so far? Pororo pororo~ And I actually cried when I wrote about Kai's father. I did him no justice, I am truly sorry. Will Hyerin open up to Kai? Will their friendship be lucid? Or stay complicated? Will there even be a friendship?
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