Bodies entwined together, Tao was still slightly out of breath and somewhere between aching and tingling with pleasure. Every muscle in his body felt like it’d been worked in ways they hadn’t been in far too long. It was true though. Tao couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had . Over six months, that was for sure. It felt good though, it felt like a lot of tension in his body was gone now, causing a catlike smile to appear on Tao’s features.

“I love you Gege” Tao said, moving to kiss Kris’s forehead as he lie slightly lower than him on the bed, the sheets tangled up in their bodies some. “I love you too.” Kris responded, his voice low and tired. The way Kris laid his head against Tao’s chest, Tao could tell he was falling asleep. Happy to just lay there for a while, Tao could feel himself falling asleep. He was so warm and comfortable, his body was relaxed thanks to their activities tonight and for once he felt happy. For once in a long time.

Not even thinking about what will happen after he wakes up tomorrow, Tao simply lie there with a happy smile on his face while running his fingers across Kris’s back. “Don’t fall asleep, okay?” Tao said, his own voice sounding just as tired as Kris’s had sounded. “I’m tired though.” Kris said, moving to look at Tao while still lying ontop of him. “Why not sleep? Aren’t you tired?” Kris asked, causing Tao to shake his head and move to grab a pillow. “I don’t want to miss a second with you.”

A grin came from Kris as he moved closer with an excited smile, propping himself up on his elbows as he looked Tao over. “There’s a song about that, right?” Kris asked, causing Tao to shrug. He really had no idea if there was a song like that. Probably. Kris then started to hum a song that Tao didn’t recognize, seeming really excited about the song only for Tao to laugh at him and push Kris away some.

“You’re a dork. Stop!” Tao exclaimed, laughter in his voice. Kris only got louder though, not really having lyrics that went with the tune he was humming obnoxiously loud. The two then erupted in a fit of laughter before then laying back down, this time Tao was ontop of Kris as the older male pulled the sheets over them so they’ll stay warm in the chilly winter. Sure, Tao’s apartment had heat, but it was still comfier with covers than without.

“I’ve missed that laugh of yours.” Tao said, feeling sad yet happy at the same time. “Missed it?” Kris asked, his hands running across Tao’s back and causing him to shiver. “Long story…” Tao said, not wanting to scare Kris away. The older simply shrugged and pulled Tao closer. “Okay. I won’t ask.” Kris said before a long silence between the two of them.

Feeling his heavy eyelids closing, Tao could feel his breathing become heavier as Kris’s also slowed and deepened. “Are you asleep?” Tao asked Kris, his lips a little as Kris simply grunted in response. “Don’t…fall asleep.” Tao yawned mid-sentence while stretching his limbs out much like a cat before then relaxing and curling his legs with Kris’s. “Never?” Kris asked, obviously falling asleep. “Never ever. Help me stay awake forever so you won’t disappear.” Tao responded, yawning again with a small wrinkle of his nose. “I won’t go anywhere.” Kris responded, a small chuckle to his voice.

Tao knew that was a lie though. He knew Kris wasn’t going to be there in the morning. Knew he’d wake up alone and probably dressed like he’d woken up that morning. Maybe he’ll just realize it was all a dream like he’d been thinking all night. Who knows though, maybe everything will be left exactly like it was with Kris there for the day.

Would he feel this satisfied in the morning? Would all his muscles be this relaxed yet this abused in the morning? Would he wake up from a wet dream with a that he’d need to off on his own because of this vivid dream? God Tao’s brain needed to stop thinking about his physical needs and remember his emotional needs. Kris won’t be there in the morning, and he’d be all alone again.

No. He wasn’t alone. He had Baekhyun and Chanyeol. He had Yixing and Sehun. He had everyone in the group rooting for him and wanting him to be happy. Heck, he had Kris up in heaven giving him this Christmas Miracle so that he would be happy one last time with him before being able to move on. He had to do it though. He had to move on and be happy without Kris. Sure, he will always love Kris. But he had to stay strong and move on, just like that song he’d sung to Kris at the karaoke bar.

Eyes getting heavy, body turning into jelly, Tao was falling asleep. He fought it, tried to blink away the heavy lids, try to force himself to stay awake but everything was so comfortable. “Goodnight Gege.” Tao finally said, frowning a little when Kris didn’t respond. Turning his eyes up towards Kris, Tao saw his mouth was open ever so slightly as his chest rose and dropped a fraction of an inch in a perfect rhythm, showing he’d already fallen asleep.

“I’ll do as you said Kris. I’ll move on. I’ll be happy. And then when I meet you again you better welcome me with open arms and we’ll spend eternity together again.” Tao then moved up to plant a kiss on Kris’s lips and then lay back down. It didn’t take him long to fall deep asleep.