| To set the mood, please listen to Miracles in December |

December 24.  Christmas Eve.  The 1^st one without her.

How could I be so stupid as to let some girl get in between someone I loved to much?  Every year we spend this day together, exchange gifts and cuddle up by the fireplace, warm in each other’s arms. 

I miss that…I miss her.  I miss her vanilla scent that drugged me, the way she smiles shyly while turning her face away at my small touches.  How her eyes sparkle in awe as we walk down a street lit with lights, and the way she gently grabs my hands to hold them, I miss it all.

I was young.  I was immature.  I was selfish, only thinking about myself.  Once she moved in, I seemed to forget her feelings.  Yet, she fought so hard to stay by my side even though I was walking away from her.  My schedule became chaotic and I started to forget her.  How could I have gone from loving someone so special to me to merely glancing at her once without a second thought?  And now that she’s gone, I’ve realized what I lost. 

I’m struggling to find her, to see the girl I love so much.  Even in my dreams, she’s fading away in the distant, and I’m left standing by myself once again.  It’s a nightmare I can’t get rid of because it replays every night like a broken record.

It’s 7 O’clock.

We’d come to the park every year today to watch the small choir perform before returning back to our fireplace at home.  But this year, I’m here without her sitting by my side.  I adjust my hood over my head and cover my face with my scarf to hide my identity.

As the choir sings, I can’t help but think of the times with her.  They’re singing happy songs with so much energy; yet, I’m here reminiscing about the past.  I would do anything to rewind time so that I may change myself for the better, if I knew what I know now.  I would give her the world and put her feelings before mine.

The cold wind that waves by reminds me of how cold I was to her, now I’m alone, and suddenly, it starts to snow.  I blink a couple times before looking up into the sky.  Without realizing it, I felt a tear roll down my cheeks.  Each snowflake is a tear that belong to her.  If I had the power, I would draw her over to me.  It’s the one wish I want this Christmas.

But it won’t happen.

I’ve come to face reality and my consequences for being a young immature boy.  If I had the power to do anything in the world, it would have been to go back in time.  But that’s impossible.  For someone like me, all I can do is forget.  Because it was fault something like this had to happen.  And so, I’ll forget.  After today, I’ll continue to change into a better man, for her, for the world.

But I still have some hours left before this night is over.

So I’ll wish for a miracle in December.

The snow is starting to come down more, and the people around me start walking towards the café across the street for some free hot chocolate.  I sit in my seat, lean back against the big oak tree and listen to the crunching of the snow to die down before I get up to leave.   

In that moment, I felt calm.  Somehow, through everything, my muscles relaxed.  It’s different now, the atmosphere.  The wind died down, unexpectedly.  I could feel the flurries of the snow melting as they touched down on my skin.  You’re a person with a heart, I reminded myself.  You’re warm, and that’s why they melt as they touch you; you’re not a cold person.

I opened my eyes and looked up into the sky as the last of the people were leaving.

“Come on, aren’t you coming?” I looked towards the voice.  A couple girls were trying to pull another one from her seat, but she didn’t budge.  I watched them from behind.  The girl sitting shook her head, staring at the empty stage before muttering something to her friends.  They left her a moment later.  My head unconsciously rolled to the side, observing the person in front of me.

The outline of her body, the way she sits, straight up and her right leg crossed over her left.  The way her right foot taps against the air to an unheard beat.  My eyes lit up as they travel up to the back of her head.  It has to be her.  But this girl’s hair is brown, not black.  She’s wearing a beanie, when the women I love never liked to wear hats. 

I took a deep breath as she started to get up.  I closed my eyes, you’re thinking too much.

I won’t get the miracle I wished for.

I’m so bored.

“I’m so bored.” I whispered as we sat in the café booth.  This isn’t how I want to spend Christmas Eve.  It’s never how I wanted to spend my Christmas Eve.  It’s usually spend with him, the one I love.

“Ahh~ I think there’s a performance going on across the street!” Eunae pointed out the window at the stage brightly lit with lights.  Seats were set up in rolls in front of the stage.  “Let’s go!”  I swallowed, anywhere but there.  I pleaded to no one.  The one place I didn’t want to go, the place where so many memories lie.

Su Ah and Eunae dragged me out of my seat, “Let’s go so we can get the front seats!” They both sang happily in the Christmas spirit. I hushed up not wanting to ruin their mood and followed them out of the café.

As the choir sung, I was swept up in memories, memories of him and I.  Every Christmas Eve, we’d come here and watch the choir perform songs before going back home to the cozy fireplace and lying in each other’s arms.  The warmth of his arms around mine, how we would tangle our legs together to become one, in a sense. 

What he did, not just that night, but after I moved in, I can’t understand.  How could a person go from being so loving to a person who acts like he has no heart?  He distant himself from me and kept himself at the company building leaving me alone in the house.  It's only been a year, but it feels like we've been apart for years.

He did all these things, but I was the one who initiated the break up, I was the one who walked out early that morning.  I miss him so much, and in some ways, this was my fault.  We could’ve worked things out then maybe I wouldn’t be missing him this much.  Maybe he would be here sitting next to me with his arms around my shoulders, holding me close. 

I was filled with so much regret after removing our pictures from the frames around the apartment.  I cried a river after leaving that morning, but I couldn’t go back.  How would he think of me if I did?  After all, I was the one who wanted this.

And now I’m reminiscing about the past, about us together.  Was I selfish for wanting him to continue loving me, continue to shower me with affection?  I was, wasn’t I?  And now I’m here, sitting in the place that holds so many memories of ours.  If I could only turn back time I would, but I can’t.  And now I’m stuck in this place, just trying to keep hold onto the memories for just a while longer.

Someone jabbed my sides, causing me to jump in my seat.  I looked around.  Sometime during my thoughts, it started snowing, big flakes of snow flurrying about.  It was beautiful as they flew in front of the many lights.  “Come on, aren’t you coming?” Eunae asked as Su Ah poked her head out from her jacket.  I looked back at the empty stage and shook my head, “go first…I want to stay here for a bit.” I whispered before they left.

Just a moment more to keep the memories of us burning.

I’m going to be selfish again.  I hung my head low and sighed, “Just once today…I want to see you again.” Whether it be on a T.V. screen or a poster hanging around town, “I just want to see you today.”  And maybe I’ll be able to move on after this. 

“A miracle’s all I’m asking.” I whispered before opening my eyes and looking up into the beautiful lit sky.  I stayed for a couple more minutes before sighing, feeling at ease somehow through my worries and regret.

The wind stopped.  It suddenly felt different.  A tingling sensation spread throughout my body and I felt calm and at ease.

Maybe this was a moment of clarity for me.  Maybe this was all I needed to move on again.  I could feel my lips curving into a smile, whether I wanted to or not.  I slowly stood up from my seat and turned around to walk back when I noticed another person sitting in the back.

I tensed up.  He’s sitting in the same place where we would have been if I never called it off, the bench right in front of the great oak tree.  His eyes were closed, face covered.  Is it him…?

I took a step forward.  No, Miyoung, it’s cold out.  He could be a random person shielding his face from the harsh winds.

My shoulders fell and I sighed, brushing my bangs from my face and adjusting my beanie, I retreated and started walking towards the café.

He heard the crunch of the snow under someone’s boots, someone turning away.  His eyes opened and he looked up; the sight he saw in front of him took him by surprise.  The girl he was in love with was walking away.  There was no doubt in it at all, he knew it was her.  He was able to tell from the way she walked with her hands in her pocket, the way she always looks around, observing her surroundings.  Maybe her hair wasn’t black anymore and she was wearing hats now, but he knew …it was her.

Sehun jumped up from the bench in the back and took a step forward, but what if she doesn’t want to see me.  She looks genuinely happy and content.

You were asking for a miracle and you’re letting it slip away.

Excitement flowed through his veins as he jogged towards the retreating figure.

“Miyoung!?” He shouted as he came to a slow stop a couple meters away from her.

A small smile made its way across his face as the figure tensed up, slowly turning around to face him.

Miyoung didn’t know whether that was her imagination playing with her, or if that was really him, standing just meters away.  Her lips trembled, hands shaking in her pockets as she faced the man she loved and missed so much.

Suddenly, she became afraid, afraid to face reality. 

She watched as Sehun took a step towards her, another, and another.  “Miyoung…” He sighed.  She was overfilled with emotions.  burned and tears threatened to fall.  I asked to see him…I was fine with seeing him from afar, but this…?

“What are you doing here?” He asked her as he took that last step in front of her.  Sehun could see the tears forming in her eyes.  She didn’t bother to look up at him, knowing that if she glanced up, the tears would surely fall.  Sehun smiled to himself.  Her pale skin, pink cheeks, red nose and glassy eyes, you’re still so cute, so pretty and beautiful, nothing and no one can compare.

Unknowingly, he felt tears of his own coming back to him.  He watched her lips tremble lightly.  He lifted his arm just slightly before dropping it again.  “Miyoung-”

“Friends…” she sniffed and blinked, tears leaving her eyes, “I’m here with friends.” She whispered, voice cracking.  She avoided Sehun’s eyes, turning her head away from him; how was she supposed to face him now?  She’s missed him for so long, and now that he was standing in front of her was she just supposed to jump back into his arms and tell him that she was wrong?

Her heart quenched, wanting to jump right out at him.  With everything she had, she opened , “You?” She asked him in a more controlled voice, but her tears were still present.

“Me?” Sehun huffed.  Was he living a good life now? Miyoung thought, the way he talks…he seems happy, content.  “I’m here to remember…” he chuckled lightly, sending a shiver down Miyoung’s spine, “I’m here to remember us.”

She looked up at him then saw his tears.  He was speaking so happily but was hurting inside.  Sehun sniffed before wiping his tears with the back of his hand.  “Why are you crying?” he asked before Miyoung lightly chuckled off to the side, “why are you crying?” she replied back with the same question.

She watched Sehun rub his nape with a shy smile, “Because you’re here.”

Flurries of snow fell into her eyes and she blinked.  Once again, she couldn’t stop the growing lump in .  As soon as she blinked, the tears came again.  Her voice squeaked, “Same.” She cried as Sehun pulled her into his chest, into his warmth and comfort.

Sehun hugged her tightly, resting his head in the crook of her neck, just like he used to.  They stayed like that for minutes.  Miyoung silently crying, soaking his jacket with her tears as the snow fell around them.  Her arms clung onto the side of his jacket tightly, letting go of everything and only thinking about this moment.  She never wanted to leave his arms.

“I was selfish.” Sehun whispered, “For only thinking of myself and not considering your feelings.”  His warm breath brushed gently across her neck.  “I missed you Miyoung.”

Who knew a moment like this would happen on this night?  Miyoung sniffed, hiccupped and coughed, trying to control herself.  Sehun wanted to pull away but Miyoung kept a firm grip on his jacket, “Don’t move…stay.” She whimpered before he froze.  She buried her head into his chest.  “I’ll stay forever if that’s what you want.” Sehun kissed her head before giving her 3 tight squeezes, just like he used to when he was telling her, “I love you; I always have, Miyoung.”

Miyoung swallowed the lump in to those words. 

They both heard footsteps running towards them.  Slowly, they pulled apart and turned to see a little girl running to pick up mittens she dropped during the performance.  While she was returning to the café and she stopped in front and turned back to look at them, “Merry Christmas!” She sung in a high voice, “and look up!” She chimed before running off again.

A smile crept onto Miyoung’s face as she leaned her head on Sehun’s chest once again.  “Look up…?” She whispered, “She’s cute, telling us to be happy.”  Sehun chuckled, “You’re thinking too much…she meant to actually look up, Miyoung.” He stated as he saw a mistletoe hanging above them.

Miyoung lifted her head and small smile appeared.  Sehun looked down at her, “If you don’t stop me now, I’m going to kiss you.” He whispered, leaning his head down towards her.  Miyoung became afraid of this moment.  Is this really happening? She asked herself, are you going to let this happen?  Are you willing to take the consequences if things don’t work out again?  But she tilted her head up and met his lips half way, pushing every other thought away.

They kissed, soft and slow.  Sehun massaged her neck tenderly as she brought her hands up around his neck, tippy toeing up.  Softly, lovingly, after being apart for what seems like years, they put everything into that kiss, passion and memories filled both of their minds, and their heart seemed to fall into sync.  A year felt so long to the both of them without each other by their side, and now, they were getting everything back.

Sehun pulled away first, his hot breath grazing her skin as he leaned his forehead on hers.  Their eyes were closed, still taking in the moment.  “Before I found you here…I wished for a miracle.  I wished for you to come back to me.” Sehun spoke the truth, wanting to tell Miyoung just how much he’s missed her.  “My miracle in December…that’s you.”  He kissed her nose before leaning on her forehead once more, “Don’t ever leave me.”

Silence filled the space before Miyoung whispered, “I…I also wished to see you again…today.  I asked for a miracle.” She spoke so softly.  “I was thinking a poster…or music show on T.V.” She chuckled lightly, “but I got you, in person, instead.”

Sehun pulled her close to him as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

*One squeeze, two squeezes, three…

She sighed, finally happy and content, “I love you too, Sehun. I always will.”

Aha, so like I wrote this in like 7 hours yesterday when I should have been doing something better, more important things *ahem, homework & study, but this turned out to be more important, lol. :)) Anyways, I hope you guys like it. It was intended to be all in Sehun's POV but I honeslty don't know what happened halfway, OTL.

Like I said, it's supposed to be the sequel to Live Well, but I don't know if it seems that way. *sigh, poured out so much feels into this oneshot sequel.

It was originally an angsty oneshot, but then...I know y'all like happy endings, cause who doesn't? *rises hand Aha, gosh, I'm so excited for the album release! All the songs sounds so nice and their voices are beautiful.

This will be all, heh heh.

Stay warm! I wish for good health on you guys because I'm getting sick again. Dang this cold weather, lol. Anyways,

Comment and Subscribe!?

--miyoung:))