3.

The same night, Sungmin sat down on the bed with a concerned look.

What’s going on inside of that pretty mind?

Kyuhyun lay flat on his back, eyeing his older lover, wanting to grab his hand but hesitating just a tad, partly because he already lay comfortably with the hands below his head, and partly because he wasn’t sure if the expression on Sungmin’s face was bad or really bad.

 “How are you?” Sungmin asked, his hand trailing over his lap and over to the collar of Kyuhyun’s shirt, fumbling with it slightly. The maknae shook his head, not knowing whether it was in denial or in admit.

“I’m fine…” He however answered eventually, wetting his lower lip carefully. He could sense how the other was looking at him intently with the corner of his eye, before tilting his head.

“Really?”

Kyuhyun in his lower lip, and the sorrow from earlier was back. He found his head beginning to pound.

Stress.

Worry.

Falter.

“I didn’t have fun at the concert today.” He started, and noticed how Sungmin’s expression turned more questioning than worried.

“Were you thinking about something? Did something happen?”

Sungmin let his hand travel to the younger’s cheek, tracing his thumb up and down as he turned his body towards the other and lowered his head.

“Because you can tell me, you know.”

In return, Kyuhyun smiled bitterly as he took a second off to adore his boyfriend’s features.

“I don’t know.” He said, glancing into the other’s shiny eyes, trying to find the answers to the inner ponderings that had hit him like a storm. He should have asked himself if it was to any use; the last time he had tried to find the answer, he had only been crashing down even more.

“It felt like I was losing my will to sing…”

Sungmin pouted carefully, his face showing no humor or amusement to the maknae’s words. He sat up and crossed his legs, took Kyuhyun’s left hand below his head and pulled it to himself.

“Honestly, I’ve felt that too. But Kyuhyun-ah, these things pass. You sure it wasn’t something temporary?”

Even though there was something in him that said yes; denied his will to think positively and live for the good; help him stand up of own strength: Kyuhyun still shrugged.

“I don’t know… It’s just that right then, it felt so very real.” He pursed his lips. “It’s creepy.”

Sungmin lay down on his side beside and looked into the other eyes, flickering between them and just trying to find a way to aid him. Kyuhyun didn’t usually falter, but Sungmin didn’t want to believe that his lover’s state was something more than temporary because it was a rare case.

“Can I do something do make you feel better for now?”

Kyuhyun smiled at the elder’s words, and huffed jokingly, examining his features below the faint headlight.

“Sungmin-ah…”

Said man nodded carefully as his lips curled to a little smile, and Kyuhyun fell in love a thousand times over.

He was glad that Sungmin was the one that had started to make him weak. He was happy that the man in front of him had been one to capture his heart, and so Kyuhyun was prepared to do so, so much to never lose him.

“Are you alright?” Kyuhyun asked, and the other’s brows wrinkled slightly into a frown as he tilted his head. He didn’t say anything though; until a couple of seconds later when his frown dissolved.

“I’m okay.” He said and smiled faintly; but Kyuhyun noticed the glance he had thrown downwards before the smile crept up his face.

“Baby…” He lifted his right hand to cup Sungmin’s cheek, and found that it was fairly hot. Their glances remained; Kyuhyun pondering and pleading, and Sungmin stressed yet calm.

“No, sweetie, it’s okay.”

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready, right?”

The raven head nodded, and Kyuhyun flashed a smile back. Despite that he didn’t know all that was going on in his lover’s mind, he knew he could trust him; Sungmin would open up when he felt like the time had come, or else things never turned out well. Kyuhyun had been with him those times.

Sungmin could easily be pressured when it came to privacy regarding emotions. When someone tried to hack into his system, he would turn more emotionally unstable, and feel uncomfortable knowing that someone had forced his inner thoughts out of him.

Kyuhyun didn’t want that to happen.

“Let’s watch a horror movie.”

Having the older man in his arms, savoring the scent he oozed, caressing his smooth skin and feeling their heart beats in just the right paces while both laughing at the silliness of crappy horror movies, was just what Kyuhyun needed to be calm. It was like a norm to them; something you just do without thinking yet can barely get through without doing. And just like all other moments with Sungmin, Kyuhyun treasured this one fully.

He didn’t want to think about the commotion in his own heart and mind.

He didn’t care to consider the turbulence that was increasing hour by hour, and the storm that was approaching from below his feet.

But terror always finds its ways.

Sungmin had fallen asleep in Kyuhyun’s arms. The former looked too peaceful to be awakened, so Kyuhyun hoped that he would be able to get away smoothly. Pulling away the elder’s arm from his waist and slowly replacing his body with his hands, Kyuhyun tried to guide his lover’s sleeping head to the closest pillow. It was silent, and so the maknae walked lightly to the door after accomplishing the task of putting Sungmin to bed. Sneaking into the hall on his toes, he was heading towards the kitchen to get a glass of water before he would brush his teeth.

When he entered the dark kitchen, another member met him; one he hadn’t really expected to see at all at that hour.

Ryeowook widened his eyes at the sight of Kyuhyun entering the area, and put his hand and glass back down on the table he was sitting by.

They couldn’t see each other fully because of the turned down lights, yet Kyuhyun felt entirely exposed, as a sudden mindset triggered stress in his body.

Don’t.

“Hi.” The older of them said after a few seconds of unbearable silence. Kyuhyun could hear his own heartbeats. He nodded lightly before taking reluctant steps into the area, heading for the sink.

“What are you doing up, hyung?”

Ryeowook shrugged. Kyuhyun watched him from the corner of his eye as he took a glass and turned the tap on.

“I just wanted to drink a little.”

“Me too”, the younger answered and gulped down some water, highly insecure however. His mind had not really told him how to function yet, it seemed.

Because there was something wrong with his mind.

It was his insides that held a disturbance that just wouldn’t get out.

It was because of his secret – an emotion that he couldn’t escape.

“Was the movie fun?” eventually the older asked. Kyuhyun almost choked on his water; he didn’t know what was creepier: the sudden breaking of silence or the fact that Ryeowook knew he had been watching a movie?

“Yeah, I suppose…”

Ryeowook smiled lightly.

“Kyuhyun-ah, you’re turning into a movie addict. I’m almost starting to miss your StarCraft obsession.”

The younger took a moment to laugh; a hobby of his was to play said computer game, and the members would often joke around saying that he was obsessed. Not that it was entirely false, though.

“Don’t think I’ve stopped playing.” He winked, and finished his glass of water, wanting to leave quickly, but at the same time, wanting to remain forever.

Was he forcing himself to close his eyes, or fix his gaze on something else?