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Wild Flowers In The Winter

the reason :
 

 

I watched the sunrise today, it's really beautiful. I didn't sleep a wink last night, I kept on thinking about Chanyeol and what he said.

 

" Ya! You scared the out of me! " I heaved , fanning myself. I pulled out my earpiece and got up in a sitting position. " What're you doing here ? "

" Can't I be here ? " He asked, the room fell into an awkward silence with him coming down to sit beside me.

" But..why are you here ? " I broke the silence, emphasising the 'why'. I was annoyed since I was half way through texting Kris.

" I just needed to see you. " He looked out his window, not saying anything more but something about the way he said it made my heart drop. I felt a little worried all of a sudden.

" We see each other everyday. " I tried to sound sarcastic as usual, a failed attempt to make everything seem like it was normal. My voice faltered and i hoped he hadn't heard it.

" I'm afraid I won't get to very much soon. " He said after awhile, still looking out the window.

" Why is that ? " I asked genuinely confused, I didn't get it. Chanyeol didn't say anything more after that. He just stood up and climbed through the window, most likely the way he came in.

" You should know. " Was his last words before he jumped down and ran across the courtyard. He didn't even say goodbye like how he usually does , and his voice was at his all time low. I was in a daze, those three words spinning round and round in my head making me dizzy. I should know ?

I was left sitting alone on the bed, phone vibrating like crazy from the endless text messages I didn't reply. I looked down at my phone, scrolling down my messages

Kris... Kris.. Kris.. It was all from him and not a single one from that dork of a giant. I sighed, my heart getting heavier and heavier - his words getting louder and louder and it felt like it was screaming out filling up the whole room with " You should know". I looked at my phone again, the wallpaper of me and Chanyeol. I smiled at that, we were walking around some shopping mall in Myungdong when Sehun snapped a candid shot of us and it was really something . We had worn matching clothes though our hair colours were much too different, I had thought of dying my hair red but Chanyeol stopped me and told me that he loved how we were different we already were because " opposites attract " . All of a sudden, I missed him so much. It was as if I had not felt him hold my hand or wipe away pudding from my face in a thousand years.

 I picked my phone and furiously mashed some buttons together

To : Channie Ge

7 : 01 AM

---------------------

Hyung, about what you said earlier... I still don't understand

but for some reason, I really miss you right now

please reply me.

I threw my phone aside and lied down on the bed, smells like you . My whole body warmed up as I gave into the temptations of sleep. My eyelids drooped, heavy as I see my phone blink twice on the floor. The bed me in, refusing to let me go - my body had gone numb from the tiredness I had felt from yesterday. I had not realised all the times I spent alone with Chanyeol, memorising his face and engraving his voice into my brain so wherever I went, he would be with me. I had not realised the reason why I did it all, assuming that he was the bestest friend I could ever have. I did not realise he did not feel the same way but he saw me as something more, someone more. I had given a part of my heart to Kris but my entire being was Chanyeol's. I had not realised, I had not realised. When sleep finally came to me, it had whispered the answers into my ears and I saw it all in a dream. Memories from the very fist day we met -

" Taozi. " The child called out to me, taking my small hands in his.

" What happened to your hands ? " His tears dripping onto the broken nails, I felt the sting. I couldn't bring myself to tell him the horror of it all, I didn't know how too. I pulled away, unable to look into his eyes.

" Taozi. " He called out to me again, " Taozi, I love you, I'm here okay ? "

" Who are you? My name is not Taozi. Why do you love me? " I rubbed my eyes, getting a clearer view of his face. He had large eyes that seemed to spill over to his even larger ears. His nose was red from sniffling and his hair was all ruffled up.

"I'm Chanyeol! Park Chanyeol! I know your name is not Taozi! I'm not a pabo! But Taozi seems to fit you alot and your mother said it meant 'peach' and you kind of look a like a peach too. I love you because I love you. There is no reason! My mother said that when you love someone you want to make them happy and don't want to see them sad. " He took a deep breath, " So she said that one way is to tell others that you love them, so I love you! I want to be your friend! " He finally finished, panting because he had vomitted out all his words.

I didn't really understand.

" Chanyeol? " I  asked

" Yes, Taozi ? "

" C-can I call you Channie then? "

" Channie....  I LIKE IT. " He chirped, grabbing me tightly and pulling me into his hug.

The answer was so clear but I was so blind to it. When I woke up, it felt like a mountain had been placed over my chest - words swirling in my chest ready to be spillt out. I looked over to the clock,

1 : 10 pm

I got up from my bed, smoothing over the area that Chanyeol sat on the last night. The crinkles felt like a line drawing, connecting with each other - their paths over lapping. The white sheets seemed dull and gray though they were new. I let out a deep sigh, trying to get the feeling out of my chest. Moving across the room were shadows of the willow tree, slowly swaying as peace overwhelmed the whole place. Only I was not at peace. I heard the clock ticking by, the kettle going off downstairs, the news announcer on about rising stock prices, cars honking outside, wind whistling, my own heart beating. So many things all at once, I could feel them all. The atoms of every single thing in the universe colliding with mine and it felt like I was weak, being pushed around.

I was in the shower again, hot water prickling my skin something I can focus on so my mind won't wander. The whole place smelt like roses, I leaned against the cold tiles shivering at the contrast in temperature. A song played in my head, the lyrics hitting home as they lingered on.

 

You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me even when you're not around
 
I tried, but I can't stop thinking about you. I finally realised. I see it all, I feel it all now. All the blushing and heated stares were all crashing down on me. One by one each memory had played out and my heart was beating out of my chest. Your actions always make me worry for you, your words always scooting closer to mine, eyes sparkling with hints.
 
I’m so encaptured, got me wrapped up in your touch
Feel so enamored, hold me tight within your clutch
How do you do it, you got me losing every breath
What did you give me to make my heart beat out my chest?
 
I quickly got out and changed into a simple pullover and jeans. I slipped on my shoes and got out of the house as quickly I could, the cold. I ran down the slope, I suddenly remebered stopping to retrace my steps. I shuffled my feet to the pavement, squatting to look the flowers. Crystal showerd flowers they were, I brushed the snow away to reveal it's vibrant colour of magenta. It was growing healthily, I think another flower grew but I wasn't really sure. I hadn't paid any attention. I felt guilty all of a sudden, if anything I had loved the flowers and I was always anticipating it's first bloom. I got up and stretched. Do you know that if you walk a little further down, you can see Chanyeol's room window and the backyard which has small garden though the flowers have all wilted due to the cold. I smiled inwardly, remembering how I'd wait for Chanyeol and his sleepy head would pop out his window to see if I was there. He would then signal me to come in and his mother would greet me with breakfast but I always reject because I was full from my mother's meal.
 
I realised I had not looked at my phone since I awoke, I whipped my phone out of my backpocket and unlocked it. He didn't reply....  It didn't really matter because what was more important was what I was going to tell him later, in his face. I walked down and turned a sharp left, meeting with his large front door. I knocked on the door twice, the monitor came to life and a familiar voice spoke.
" Who is it? "
" It's me. "
" Ah Zitao! How nice, come in come in! " The door unlocked with a click and I went in, quickly finding solace in the heated house.
" My dear! Did you come all the way here dressed like this? " Mrs Park asked with a shocked expression.
" Ah well, it was just a five minute walk so I thought I could spare the rest. "
" BE IT 5 MINUTES OR 5 HOURS I WILL NOT LET MY SON'S LOVE FREEZE TO DEATH! " She ran to the storeroom to get a blanket and swung it over my shoulders. I stood frozen, not literally but like I couldn't move because of what she said.
My son's love?
" I-I'm sorry but what did you say ? "
" Chanyeol told me everything, poor child is in love with you and looking how you're here now, I'm sure you love him too don't you?"
" I-i " I didn't know what to say, her face had this glow about her making me feel warmer than the heater and I just wanted to hug and thank her for everything.
" Don't tell me anything, tell it to him. He's asleep right now, upstairs. " She pointed up, showing that trademark Park smile that Chanyeol definitely inherited.
I walked up, suddenly feeling very very very nervous. I stopped in front his doorm, fingers barely touching the handle. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
 
I opened my eyes to a sleeping giant, phone in hand, face blotched with tears. My heart faltered and I wanted to drop to my knees. His hair had matted to his forehead, beads of sweat trickling down his sideburns and his brows furrowed.
What are you dreaming about?
I walked over and kneeled down beside his bed, I didn't want to wake him up, I stayed still admiring every inch of his face, like a map I wanted to find all the treasure troves of his whole world. I traced the outlines of his face, his large eyes that melted into mine when we looked at each other in silence, the nose that twitches when he was thinking hard about something, the lips that reveal a million shiny white teeth when he smiles. He stirred in his slep, mouth opening to whisper,
" Tao."
This time I wasn't shocked, I felt really blissful knowing that he dream about me.
" Chanyeol? " I rested my palm on his right cheek, brushing it slightly with my index finger. I felt him stir again, flipping his whole body to face me, phone dropping onto the floor. 
Chanyeol.
I breathed.
His eyes slowly fluttered open,
" This is not a dream is it? You're not gonna leave me are you? " His eyelids closed and opened slowly, I could hear the pain in his voice.
I held his hand, " No, No I won't. I'm your Taozi and you're my Channie right? "
" Yeah, yeah that's what we are. " I kissed his knuckles, like how used to do to me when I couldn't fall asleep. I felt him pull him closer to the bed, I climbed on top of it and was quickly trapped in his embrace.
" Let's go to sleep, okay? " I said, getting comfortable in the queen sized bed. I snuggled closer, smelling the addictive scent of his body. I kissed his exposed collarbones, nudging it lightly like a cat.
" Will you still love me in the morning? "
" I will love you forever, like the wildflowers in the winter we will be strong together. I love you Park Chanyeol. "
" I love you Huang Zitao. "
 

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

--

photo cr : chanyeolismyualfantasy

Lyrics from : Latch / Disclosure (ft. Sam Smith)

              The Reason / Hoobastank

A/N : omg wow, i finally finished it. It's kind of short isn't it? I'm thinking of doing a sequel because I can't possibly leave Kris hanging can I? Gotta know where he ends up in this ty story right? HAHAHAHAHAH Well comment & sub <3

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k-soul #1
I am glad it was Chanyeol at the end. Slightly confused about the part where Tao realized his feelings but I still like the story as a whole. =) Chantao FTW!
k-soul #2
Chapter 2: I really have to ask....Where is that gif from? @.@

https://24.media.tumblr.com/f4a69d2c012ac1d1ea271fce405f3f53/tumblr_mwkt2sIvO41ry21obo7_250.gif

Is that really chanyeol and tao? T.T

I will proceed to comment on the story after I finish reading it T>T
Tomboy-kun #3
Chapter 5: Lovely Chantao :) such sweeties <3
teatao #4
Chapter 5: yeees chantao❤
alicemusic666 #5
i love chantao....but i feel so bad for kai.
exotic1318 #6
Chapter 5: Yeah...chantao...i almost cried ...
kennocha #7
Chapter 5: I don't know if i'm supposed to laugh or cry.... I think I did both!
It's just too amazing. I'm totally at a loss of words!... I loved it!!
lemon-deulop #8
Chapter 5: Awh, ChanTao~~ yay
Thank you for this, I enjoyed reading this~ I'm glad in ended as it did. So nice~
Ezlynn1996 #9
Chapter 5: ♥♥ChanTao♥♥
infinite-starnightHL #10
Chapter 4: Great story! I hope it would be chantao at the end...
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