For months I was locked in the house unable to do anything but what Yesung ordered. I was just an object he owned and nothing more. Slowly I felt myself becoming distant and robotic. I only acted when told and followed every order I was given. My world had gone from a sky of blue, to a ceiling of white. My God was no longer the being above, but Yesung. With dead eyes, I viewed my new world of walls and doors. I was a prisoner with no hope of escape. I was weak, I had lost. That hope, that dream of becoming so much more, a distant memory now. On my hands and knees, I scrubbed the tiled kitchen floors, did my chores, and smiled at the newest dream of actually eating food for once. In this new world, I had to earn my food, something I no longer took for granted. Yesung owned everything including me, and if he so wished it, he could kill me. It was this knowledge, that kept me from running.

"Ryeowook, get in here." Yesung ordered making me jump and rush to his side, kneeling at his feet obediently.

"Yes sir," I bow waiting for his instructions. Yesung smiled as he motioned for me to sit on his lap. I straddle him, my body use to his abuse already. Yesung began kissing me, his hands roaming up my body. I whimper when his hands latch onto my arousal.

" for me." Yesung instructed. I nod allowing him to work me. This was all my life was now, nothing special or anything. I was an object of worth, and my worth was very little. I felt myself coming to , my body arching even though I felt nothing. I was a trained slave to him.

"Such a good ." Yesung congratulated as he pushed back my hair. I nod to him before moving to kneel between his legs and carefully taking out his length. Yesung was watching me, waiting to see what I would do. I kiss the head of his before taking it in my mouth and ing him. He ed roughly into my mouth forcefully face ing me. I ignored the tears falling down my cheeks as pain took over. When he finished, I was tossed aside like leftover meat. To him I had no feeling’s, to him, I was nothing. I no longer had friends to rely on, family to depend on. He had taken that from me. I had allowed him to strip me of everything I had once held dear. Everything that had once been mine, now gone.

“Ryeowook, go clean up, I have a dinner to get to and you will not look like a common in front of my guest.” Yesung ordered making me nod and do as he says. My eyes fell over my covered body looking in distaste at my appearance. I was once wanted by everyone, craved by all. Now, if those people saw me now, I would be laughed at. I once dreamed of being a famous composer or singer, now I was a common presenting my to my hyung, the man I called husband these past few years.

“Ryeowook, hurry up!” he yelled making me hurry and make myself presentable. When I finished, I rush back downstairs, only to fall to my side as Yesung slapped me.

“Get in the car, and do not speak unless spoken to by me.” I was instructed. I get in the car taking a seat beside my lover and waiting patiently for more instructions from him. I tried not to cry, tried to focus on the ever changing scenery. When we arrived at the place we would meet his friends, he got out motioning for me to follow. The rest was a blur to me, the laughter, the words. All I felt were the stinging verbal comments, the teasing way Yesung offered me to his friends. It was this night, that I learnt what I meant to him, learnt, that to him, I was just an object that would never realize humanity. These men that smile at me in such a greedy and sickening way, they thought of me as prey, prey that could easily be bought if they wished it. I had no say about even my own body, my own soul.

Those lips I once dreamed of, that soft voice I once coveted, all had betrayed me, lured me into such a false sense of love and safety. Yesung led me from those ravenous eyes of the wolves he called friends and back to his home where I was once more locked in his room like a princess kept in a tower. My eyes watched as Yesung sat on the bed watching as I readied his bath. The closer to midnight the clock ticked, the more my life left me. My soul was leaving me, I could feel it. I had nothing to live for, Kim Yesung, had officially broken me. His snores filled the room as I crept from the room and into the very study he had proposed his love to me in. Hanging from the rafters, was a rope, beneath the rope, a chair.

This chair so small and wooden was the last remaining thing from my stolen past. Stepping onto the seat of the chair, I take a deep breath and place the noose around my neck. The sound of the clock ticks away my life as I close my eyes and take a step, knocking the chair from under my feet and allowing myself to fall, the rope snapping my neck up choking me. My eyes become blurry as I smile watching the last gasps of breath leave my body. The clock ticking being the last I hear in the otherwise quiet room, tomorrow I would no longer be in this relationship. They say the first step is the hardest to take, but it is also the last step in a relationship, that is hard as well, because once you start, you find it hard to stop. It is because of this, that you have what seems like the perfect couple become the abusive couple. Those perfect relationships you hear about always have a dark side. It is from that dark side, that the horrors of life and darkness of love seep from the shadows.

My name is Kim Ryeowook, and what you have just read, are my final thoughts up until my death just as I planned it. Too those few friends I had left, I’m sorry. Too what little family that remains, I’m sorry. But do not weep for the dead, but for the living. For it is them, who must continue this emotional rollercoaster called life. It is the living, who must continue walking the steps of life.