‘How could I be so stupid? How could I let this happen? It’s entirely fault I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m so sorry’

                                                                                Earlier that Day

                I woke up rubbing the back of my neck, I grabbed my phone, “Great,” I mumbled. I had four missed calls and ten text messages. I read through the messages:  I don’t understand. What happened? Hello? Did I say something wrong? Why didn’t you answer? Are you still busy? I miss you, I’m calling again. I’m bugging you aren’t I? I must have made you mad you won’t pick upL. I’m sorry hope you have good dreams. She was cute writing all of these I tried calling her but she didn’t pick up, ‘You must be sleeping now.’ I waited for the answering machine to beep, “Hello, sorry you must be sleeping. I got all your messages. I wasn’t mad I got back home and passed out. Text me later, I promise to reply. I love you.” I hung up and got out of bed.

                Everyone else had gotten up already. Jaehyo was cooking, Taeil and P.O were watching Apink’s music videos, Zico and Kyung were picking on Jaehyo as he cooked, and B-bomb was watching everyone sitting at the table. I sat down next to him rubbing my eyes, “Aigoo, how long has everyone been up?” I asked.

                “Not long, Zico and Kyung just came out before you. I think Taeil and P.O were up first. Jaehyo barely started cooking, he takes too long. You should take over your faster than he is.” B-bomb yawned nudging me. I smiled shaking my head no, B-bomb groaned, “Hurry up we’re hungry!” he snapped at Jaehyo.

                Jaehyo spun around with the pan, “I’d be done if they’d leave me alone!” he snapped turning back to the oven.

                “No you wouldn’t!” Zico laughed joining us at the table with Kyung.

                “You sleep heavy because you didn’t hear your phone at all last night. It kept ringing; you should put it on silent when you sleep.” Kyung smiled at me, “Especially if you’re not going to wake up for it.” He laughed.

                Jaehyo walked over putting plates down in front of us before I could respond, “There, P.O, Taeil time to eat, or you’ll starve until lunch!” Jaehyo yelled for them sitting down next to B-bomb. They came in shortly after sitting next to me and Kyung.

                My phone buzzed and chimed as we finished eating, it was a text. ‘Good morning! Sorry I bugged you so much last night.’ I laughed putting my plate in the sink. ‘I’m not busy do you want to spend the day together?’ I replied walking back in to my room, as I grabbed my outfit for the day I got a response, ‘Yes! Can you be here in an hour?’ I smiled, ‘Yeah.’ I started to change my clothes. As I put on my shirt another message came in, ‘Okay see you soon! Saranghae <3 ‘I sent back ‘I love you more.’ Zico and Kyung laughed, “What?” I asked buckling my belt, “Jealous?”

                “Only a little, the girlfriend part yeah, because it be nice to cuddle and have a li,” Zico slapped his hand over Kyungs mouth shaking his head.

                “So what are you planning to do today with Kaleah? Hmm?”

                I laughed putting on clean socks, “Hang out, watch a movie, go eat, take her home, and come back here to sleep and go work in the morning.”

                Kyung pushed Zico away, “Uh-huh, you’re going to go to a love motel and get freaky.” Zico smacked Kyung laughing.

                “Not everyone thinks like you do Kyung!”

                I walked passed them grabbing a jacket and my keys, “I’ll be back later, don’t kill each other.” I walked out of the door.

                It was nice to have some alone time, that’s why I got a car in the first place. It was a little get away time from all of the guys. B-bomb and Taeil weren’t too bad, they were quiet, not like Zico and Kyung, or P.O. Constantly goofing around or trying to make you laugh. Not that I minded it, I just like to have time to myself. I pulled up to Kaleah’s house, I didn’t have time to unbuckle my seat belt to go get her, and she was already ready to go. She hopped in the passenger’s seat and kissed my cheek, “Sorry I know I’m suppose to wait and you’ll come get me open my door and let me in the car,” she smiled, “ I couldn’t wait though. I’m just so excited to have another whole day with you.” She put on her seat belt, “So where are we going?”

                “There’s a carnival in Seoul, I thought you might like to go too.” I watched her face light up, “I can tell you want to.” I smiled backing out of her drive way, “Let’s go.”

                She talked the whole way, to the carnival, about what rides she wanted to go on, and taking pictures. Kaleah was always a talkative person, I liked that about her. She never expected me to start a conversation, or talk a lot with her, just to have an opinion and answer her questions. It was enough to make her happy, “We’re here!” she smiled from ear to ear, “this will be so much fun!” she barely waited for the car to be in park before she unbuckled and threw the door open, “hurry up!” she was bouncing up and down. It was like she was a little kid. She was so happy.

                We went on a lot of rides, spinning cups, Farris wheel, and a lot I didn’t remember. Kaleah liked the fun house the most, she laughed watching me fall over and fumble around. I laughed at her too though, she wasn’t any better at walking in there then I was. We laughed walking out of the fun house, “Oh my gosh that was fun.” She smiled, her stomach growled, “oh no!” she blushed, “I’m hungry.” She whined. I grabbed her hand and led her back to the car.

                It was already sunset, we’d spent the whole day at the carnival, “It’s okay, I have the perfect place for us to go eat.” She smiled as I opened the door for her, “It’s a surprise so you’ll have to wait for us to get there, okay?” She nodded as I closed the door.

                It wasn’t a long drive to the restaurant, her eyes glistened as I parked the car, “Oh Yukwon,” she cupped and looked over at me, “it’s where we went for our first date.” I nodded getting out of the car quickly walking around it to open her door, “You’re so sweet.”

                We went in and sat little farther in the back at a two seat table with dim lighting. The waiter took our orders, brought us water, and some bread sticks. I held her hand, “I hope you’ve had fun. I know I’m always busy and you’re always doing without in this relationship.” I stared at the bread sticks, “that’s why I wanted to make this day so special,” I looked her in the eyes, “I don’t think anyone else could have dealt with the media, my friends, and my job like you have. Especially not for four hundred days.”

                She looked down then back up with a smile, “It’s really been four hundred day already? Time just flies by.” She interlocked our fingers, “I wouldn’t have wanted the past four hundred days without you.” She bit the corner of her lip, “I defiantly don’t want the next four hundred without you either.”

                We smiled at each other as the waiter came back with our food, her eyes lit up and her eyebrows rose a little. When the waiter left she looked at me, “You remember everything don’t you?”

                “Yeah,” I laughed cutting my steak, “I try at least.”

                She twirled her spaghetti on her fork, “Well you did amazing! I mean how many guys would remember four hundred day? Or the restaurant? Or the table and the dinner they had on their first date?” she took a bite and chewed her food looking at me, “not many.” She finished her statement after swallowing her bite.

                We swapped stories about our favorite memories together. It was nice being with her; it made my life feel so normal. Not fan filled and chaos. When we finished dinner we shared dessert, and talked more, well she did, “You know I’m honestly surprised you asked me out.” I looked at her confused, “Well I mean, I figured you liked really pretty girls with really long hair, and you know…didn’t talk like I do all the time.” We laughed, “I was so happy that you asked me out though. It’s one of the best days of my life.”

                “I liked you the best though. You were different you stood out. And your short hair was cute, even now you still pull off the short hair.” She smiled, “Besides you were the prettiest girl in the room.” She blushed, “its true, Zico said to me ‘way to go you got the prettiest one.’ Then he gave me a pat on the back.” I shook my head, “That sounded bad…didn’t it?”

                Kaleah shook her head, “Not at all, know Zico it was a complement and an approval pat.” She laughed, “This was a fun date, thanks Yukwon.” She smiled from read to ear.

                I paid for dinner then we got in the car, I sighed buckling my seat belt, “Time to take you home.” It was already eleven.

                She sighed smiling at me, “Yeah,” she brushed her bangs out of her face, “I hope we get to do this again soon. Even if we just hang out with the guys.” She teased, “As long as you’re there I’ll be happy.”

                I held her hand as I drove; she the radio “Ah!” she laughed, “Big bang! Woo woo wow fantastic baby dance!” She danced around beside me singing the lyrics I laughed. She was so cute I couldn’t help but laugh.

                “You’re distracting me! Stop. Let me breathe.” We laughed together.

                “Oh my god Yukwon look out!” Kaleah screamed out, my heart felt like it stopped as bright lights filled the car, and then everything went black.

                “Are you waking up?”  I recognized the vice, “hey Zico! Hyung he’s waking up!” it was P.O

                I sat up, “Where, where am I?” the lights hurt my eyes when I tried opening them.

                “Hyung, you’re at the hospital.” P.O answered.

                “Why?”

                “You don’t remember?” I saw Zico once my eyes adjusted to the lights, “You got hit by a car.”

                My heart raced, I started to remember:

                “Oh my god Yukwon look out!”

Bright lights filled the car, I turned the wheel to right. We got hit by the other vehicle throwing us off the road into a ditch.

“Zico he remembers,” P.O held my arm, “Hyung it wasn’t your fault. The other driver was on the wrong side of the road.”

                “Kaleah, where’s Kaleah? Is she okay?” I felt panicked.

                The doctor came in, “Ahh you’re awake, let’s take a look see,” he shinned a light in my eyes, “Good. You need to stay awake for the next twenty four hours; someone will need to keep an eye on you. Other than a few cuts and a seat belt bruiseing you’re just fine. You can be discharged now.” He took out the ivs.

                Zico handed me a set of clothes, “Change then we’ll go check on Kaleah.” Zico and P.O walked out of the room to let me change, not that it mattered they’d seen me change before.

                I walked out a few minutes later, Zico lead me down the hall a couple of doors then pointed at the door beside him, “Don’t forget this wasn’t your fault.”

                I rounded the corner in to the room, Kaleah’s head was wrapped up, her left arm was in a cast, her right leg was in a cast too, and she was hooked up to a few machines. Her dad walked over to me, I waited for him to hit me. He put his hand on my shoulder, “She’s okay, she’s breathing on her own.” His eyes filled with tears, “I know it wasn’t your fault.” He let go of my shoulder then walked back over to Kaleah sitting down beside her.

                My heart sank, ‘How could I be so stupid? How could I let this happen? It’s entirely fault I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m so sorry’ I stumbled back out the door Zico grabbed a hold of me. I broke down started cry, “it’s my fault, and she’s like that because of me.”

                “No Hyung you were the ones who got hurt, the driver from the other car was intoxicated and hit you. It’s not your fault.” P.O kept reassuring me. It didn’t help much I kept feeling it was my fault.

                Zico walked me down the hall until I could walk myself. Our managers were sitting the lobby with the rest of Block B. They drove all of us back to the dorm. I wasn’t allowed to sleep, not that I could. My mind filled with thoughts, and memories of Kaleah.

                The next couple of days passed by slowly, we were sitting around watching TV when my phone rang, “Hello? She’s awake, I’ll be there soon.” I hung up and tapped Taeil, “We’ve got to go to the hospital, Kaleah she woke up.”

                We rushed over to the hospital, and waited a few minutes in the waiting room. Kaleah’s dad walked in the waiting room. We all stood up, “U-kwon, you should go. I don’t think you should see her.”

                “Why? I have to know she’s okay, I have to see her.” He didn’t say anything he just stared at me, “Please. I have to see her. Even if she kicks me out and tells me she never wants to see me again, I have to see her. Please.”

                He let out a heavy breath, “Fine, but you all have to stay here.” The guys nodded, “alright come with me.” I followed him down the hall, and up and elevator he stopped right before the door, “I warned you, you can go back and not do this you know.” I didn’t budge, “fine go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

                I walked in the room and rushed to her side, “Kaleah,” she opened her eyes and looked at me confused, “you’re okay.” I smiled holing her hand, “I’m so happy you’re okay.” She pulled her hand away from me, “Kaleah I’m”

                “Who are you? How do you know my name? Where’s my dad, dad!” she called out he walked in the room, “Dad who is this how, how, how does he, he know my name?”

                He put his hand on my shoulder, “This is Yukwon, do you remember the name?” he asked her. I took a few steps back.

                She shook her head, “No, I don’t know that name, that’s his name I don’t know it or him.”

                I bowed, “I’m sorry, I’ll go. “ I quickly walked passed her dad and out the door. I walked a few steps towards the elevator, turned my back to the wall sliding down. I cupped my face, ‘She forgot me.’ I started crying, I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked up it was Kaleah’s dad. I got up off of the floor, “I’m sorry.”

                He shook his head, “No, it’s not your fault. She’s forgotten a full year and a half.  She’s really confused. The doctor says she’ll either remember soon, or never, or in an extremely rare chance in a couple of years. From the way things are looking, she won’t remember at all.”

                I nodded, “She won’t remember me.” I took a deep breath, “It’s probably for the best then. Tell her I was a class mate from school.” I bowed, “I’ll go now, I’m sorry.” I walked to the elevator rode it down and went back to the guys, “Let’s go home.” I smirked. In the car I told them, “Kaleah doesn’t know who I am. I’ll just leave it alone until she remembers, if she remembers.” The car ride home was silent after that.

 

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Epilogue will be the Next Chapter!

(for those of you who didn't like the sad ending.)