The next morning Myungsoo got up first, which was a surprise to all as he sat up slowly, careful of the younger boy as he let him rolled over onto his back in his sleep--sighing peacefully. Myungsoo had to bite back a grin as he looked to the younger, sleeping in such peace. He imagined him waking up and smiling up at him with a sleepy smile and he could lean in to give him a kiss. He sighed at this thought before getting up slowly out of bed, not to wake him and going out to see his step-mother cooking. "Oh, Myungsoo-yah" She spoke sweetly and Myungsoo could admire her, he could tell Sungjong got his best parts from her--she was lovely and Myungsoo could understand as to how his father fell for her and he wished he could have welcomed her as his mother more--if things were under a different circumstance.

 "Morning." He spoke softly, offering her a simple grin in which she smiled warmly and placed food before him. "Sungjong is still sleeping?" She questioned and Myungsoo nodded, slowly picking at the food on his plate, playing with it more than actually eating it. "Yes, His nightmares are back." He spoke quietly and His mother sighed. "Is that so? No nightwalking though, right?" She questioned and myungsoo slowly shook his head, bringing a spoonful of rice to is lips. "Thats good, Thank you so much for watching him Myungsoo." She murmured, going over to him as she lovingly his head. "You're the best brother he could ask for i'm sure." She cooed with a sweet grin, "I know you are a son I can be proud of as well." Myungsoo grinned weakly as he stared at his food. Those words seemed to hit him deeply to the core.

"I'll go wake him up." She spoke, as she gave him one last pat on the back before leaving him there and he couldn't help but let the sigh that was building up in his diaphram free. He felt so heavy--this burden on his shoulders. This feeling in his stomache. He watched as Sungjong came out, Yawning and slowly dragging his feet, rubbing his eye cutely with his hand, Pyjamas too big on him and slightly falling off on one arm, exposing the milky skin--his eyes lingered for just a moment a before he looked down to his food, showing a bit for enthusiasm for it now, eager to finish and get out of here. "I'm going first." he murmured as he stood up abruptly, and quickly picked up his bag, slipped his shoes on and headed out. Barely leaving enough time to hear the farewells of his newer family additions.

He'd never had thought of school as an escape until lately. He felt like he was going to suffocate any place else becuse Sungjong was always by his side and a part of him felt like maybe he was overreacting, but another part of him thought he was  being completely rational. He'd been suffering since twelve and back then he didn't understand what he felt, he hadn't experienced or known what love was; but now that he was turning into his twenties, he wasn't in the dark about things anymore; He knew clearly and there wasn't any haze over his eyes. For a while, he was in denial, but eventually he admitted the fact to himself and moved forward--as forward as he could step at least.

When classes ended, he went straight to work. The quicker he patched things up, the quicker he earned up his money, the quicker he could get out.  He knew he couldn't stand much longer of it, he was going to make a mistake, ruin it if he stayed any longer. His sense of longing was getting stronger and more needy. During his highschool years, he dated every other person in an attempt to wash out his feelings for Sungjong, but his feelings for him were the strongest and they won each and every time. It was frustrating to say the least, He wanted so badly to just let things settle and have a normal family life, his new mother was great and Sungjong would be a great brother. . . but he just couldnt see him that way, And he'd tried many times, but he knew it was something different when your heart started to beat and your stomache tied itself in knots, hands got sweaty and your tongue tied. That was a different kind of love.

Myungsoo sighed quietly, before filling up a drink and passing it off. He had yelled at Sungjong here a few days ago, and that seemed to click into his mind why Sungjong probably asked him that question last night. He'd been a bit more rough with him lately out of defense. he couldnt help sighing as he let the thoughts re-enter his mind.

//

"What are you saving up for Hyung?" Sungjong asked, rocking slightly from heel to toe, hands folded cutely behind his back. It was closing time and it was just the two of them here, Myungsoo's work was only left over and Sungjong decided to stay and help him. "None of your business." He replied harshly and he could feel the sad eyes that once were focusing on him slowly drop to the floor, resuming his work by stacking the chairs and cleaning the table tops with a wet rag and a cleaning spray. A deathly eerie silence between them for a moment. "I don't need most of my money, I could give some to you?" Sungjong suggested, it seemed like it was very important to him, so he didn't mind giving up his money but Myungsoo rejected him quickly, harshly. "No, Keep your money." "dont you--" "I dont need your money, back off." Honestly, he'd feel to bad--using Sungjong's hard earned money, just so he could buy a ticket away from him.  He couldn't do it.

He felt bad for snapping at him, but that seemed to be the only way he could get Sungjong off his back. When he left, it would be better for everyone.

//

 "Hyung?" he didn't even noticed that Sungjong was standing besides him, waving a hand infront of him. "You'll get in trouble if you space out on the job. . ." Sungjong warned softly, as if cautious to correct his actions before quickly leaving his side. Myungsoo sighed and continuted his work, paying close attention till he heard the yelp from Sungjong, his head quickly turning to the source of the sound in worry before seeing Someone rush to his side quickly; Kim Sunggyu, A older guy--, small eyes--slightly charismatic aura--Myungsoo felt annoyed already. Looking away, he decided to spare himself the pain of watching them together; he knew that guy liked Sungjong and he was pretty sure Sungjong liked him back. . . and he should feel happy--but he couldn't, he couldnt.

There seemed to be many 'Couldn't's in his life. he sighed at this thought.

He listened as that, Kim sunggyu used this oppurtunity to take Sungjong out, A shy yes was heard and Myungsoo had to control himself from punching something. The urge was incredibly strong at the moment, he could hear the happy, yet awkward laughing of Sunggyu as he ended the current conversation and headed elsewhere to do his job. This is a place of work, not a dating center. Myungsoo was feeling extremely bitter, but he pursed his lips together tight and did his job without breaking or slamming anything. It wasn't the first time someone had hit on Sungjong, but it was the first time he'd heard an agreement and he could feel his heart sinking to his feet. He felt pitiful and stupid for feeling so much, being this way--it was pitiful, just pitiful.

When work was over he headed home and straight into his room, flopping into his bed and sighing deeply into his pillow. Sungjong hadn't came with him and on different circumstances he would have been glad. The images of him leaving with Sunggyu in his car were digging at his pride, punching him in the gut. "Dumb . . . Stupid . . ." he grumbled incoherantly to himself till he fell asleep, skipping out on dinner--he hadn't a taste for anything and His dreams were always much kinder to him than his reality; in his dreams, he wasn't a coward.

He woke up to a loud thud. Groaning as he sat up slowly, he met eyes with Sungjong who had clumsily slipped and fell over a shoe before he looked up cutely to him, "Sorry hyung." he murmured causing Myungsoo to shake his head and roll back over, yawning quietly. Somehow that cute look was able to warm his heart and make him temporarily think elsewise of his 'date'. Myungsoo looked at the wall as Sungjong turned the lamp on. Slowly tugging off his clothes and pulling on new ones. Myungsoo sighed deeply as he watched the shadow do so before he laid down. "Today was a good day." Sungjong murmured happily and Myungsoo frowned to himself and decided not to reply to that, turning some in his bed before burrying his face into the pillow. "Turn the light out." he grumbled into the pillow and Sungjong did as he was told obidently, falling asleep soon after and Myungsoo unfortunately couldnt get back to sleep.

Getting up from his spot, he sighed quietly before heading to the kitchen and reheating the dinner that he'd skipped out on. He nearly jumped out of his chair at the sight of Sungjong trailing out, halfway through his meal.  "Yah--" Myungsoo whispered loudly but when he got no reply, he sighed and left his food there, going over to him and seeing that he was sleepwalking again. "Aish." he grumbled, directing the younger back to bed. "Go to sleep kid." he instructed but Sungjong kept getting up, causing Myungsoo to sigh and hook a foot behind his leg and send him down--but clumsily enough, he went crashing along with him; Crushing the smaller boy beneath him as a squeak left him--knocking him out of his sleeping daze. "Ow Hyung. . . " Sungjong whined as he looked up at him, pouting, "That hurt, why are you on top of me?" he whined more and Myungsoo seemed to have been in a haze now--the look he was giving was pulling at his heartstrings--the light from the moon leaking in and hitting his porceleain skin so nice, he almost forgot where he was. "Hyung?" Sungjong questioned softly, reaching up to touch his face and this was enough to shake him awake, jerking away from the touch violently. "You're sleep walking again." He simply spoke with annoyance before getting up and going to finish off his food that he'd left in the kitchen. a valid and handy excuse to leave.

===

"Can you take me to school today?" Sungjong questioned as Myungsoo made breakfast this day, their mom had gotten a cold and decided to sleep in. Myungsoo pondered over it, he wanted to deny but--"Alright."he simply spoke before placing the food down and sitting across from him, beginning to eat. "Thankyou~" Sungjong murmured, and Myungsoo had to keep himself from sighing as he ate quietly. "What about your boyfriend though, doesn't he drive? I'm sure that would be much more comfortable than my bike." These words seemed to take a hit at him more than he'd like them to and Sungjong bashfully blushed, a lazy grin over his face as he shyly moved the food around his plate. "He's not my boyfriend." he murmured shyly and Myungsoo pursed his lips. Yet. In the past few days since the incident at work, Sungjong was going out with Sunggyu everyday and being driven home by him and Myungsoo could already tell where it was headed. He sighed again and ate his food quietly now, without anymore questions.

Once they'd finished, he got on his bike and waited for him. "Sorry, I forgot something." Sungjong murmured before sitting on the small space left over, wrapping his arms around Myungsoo's waist to hold him steady as his long legs hung off the side of the bike. Myungsoo took a deep breathe before heading off, he wondered if god was testing him and if he was, he wished he'd stop--because he was weak, Oh so weak. The bike came to a slow skid and Sungjong got off carefully, adjusting his clothes and his backpack. "thanks." Sungjong spoke before Myungsoo looked up. "It'll rain so get an umbrella before that." he spoke nonchalantly, ready to go before "Hyung--" Myungsoo sighed, stopping and turning to him. He honestly hated when he called him that, he didn't want to be his hyung.

"Is it so bad being my brother?" He suddenly asked and this question caught Myungsoo off guard, eyes widening some. "Am I that bad?" He questioned and he could see the hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry for being difficult, I wish I could stop having the nightmares and walking at night. . . I guess I can't do anything good." he murmured and he could see tears b in Sungjong's eyes. "Sungjong--" he started softly with an emotion other than annoyance for once but Sungjong just grinned in an almost painful way--trying to mask the fact that he was close to tears, "Sorry." Sungjong simply said before taking a few steps back. "I'll see you later." He spoke before quickly making his way off to classes. "Sungjong!" He called after but he didnt stop. Myungsoo sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair before getting back up on his bike and heading off. The bad brother wasn't Sungjong, It was just him. Solely him.  He was sure it was hard on Sungjong, His father died and then they remarried into a new family, his new 'brother' didn't accept him and was always cold to him with the exception of a few times that he was nice to him. Both of them were suffering in some aspect.

Myungsoo went to work as he normally did, taking a shift everyday and everyone thought he was crazy and in a sense, yeah, maybe he was crazy. The rain had already started and he wondered if it was too late to buy a umbrella himself. He didn't worry any for Sungjong, because he knew he'd be with Sunggyu in his car. He quietly grumbled something to himself in annoyance at this thought. Their home wasn't too far away he could survive a little rain, he would just take a shower and sleep afterwards anyway. He didn't hang out with friends anymore, or anything else, he just worked hard and harder so he could get out of this home.  He peddled and ignored the pelting of the rain that seemed to be visciously hitting him in the face, he actually let out a laugh as he rode. he probably would have been drier if he walked, he that didn't matter to him and he was enjoying himself for a moment in time as he swiveled along through puddles and listened to lightning strike, when he neared home he started feeling disappointed, but he knew that if he stayed out much longer he'd get sick and have to miss work, he was already feeling the chill of the weather around him from the combination of the cold air, wind, his clothes heavy and clinging to his body now.

One he got home, he saw two figures there and quickly he realized who they were, Sunggyu was leaned in and kissing Sungjong. In that moment--he lost all of his footing and skid, falling off his bike dumbly, landing in a puddle and probably making a loud noise as his bike clattered the puddle splashed. He laid there for a moment in his embarressment wondering if it was possible to drown in a puddle. "Hyung, are you okay?" Sungjong questioned, bringing him back to his senses as he slowly sat up, eyes  going straight to Sunggyu before looking away quickly. The two dashed out to see if he was alright, Sungjong kneeling over him worriedly. "I'm fine." He simply spoke before sighing deeply and picking up his bike. "Sorry to interupt." he quickly spoke with annoyance before heading to the house. "I'm sure he's just tired, don't think about it too much Jongie." He could hear Sunggyu's voice in a comforting fashion and Myungsoo sighed. He really wasn't selling this whole, 'I dont hate you' Thing very well; he could think of one person he hated though--Sunggyu's face instantly popped to his mind and he kicked the tire of his bike as he thought of him before going inside and straight to the shower to warm himself up quickly. He was shivvering now but the warmth of the shower cured that enough. The image of Sunggyu kissing Sungjong was still fresh in his mind and he had to breathe deeply and calm himself.

He should be happy. Should be happy, Should be happy--but he didn't, he wasn't, he couldn't.

Laying in bed, he turned to the wall as he normally did and closed his eyes shut. All he felt was disgust. Disgust of Sunggyu and digust for himself, He wondered how he got so unlucky to fall in love with his step brother of all the people in this world. Listening as the other came out of the shower after him, changing and getting into his own bed and turning the lights out. "Are you okay?" Sungjong questioned after a while and it seemed like he was hesitant to ask it. "You fell down pretty hard . . ." "I'm fine." he replied stalely and he could hear Sungjong sighing softly. "Okay, G'night."

"Theres nothing wrong with you Sungjong." Myungsoo finally spoke after a moment causing Sungjong to murmur a 'Huh?' Myungsoo didn't intend to really explain it, but he figured, if he was going to be leaving soon--why was he making Sungjong miserable and pushing him away? He should be a good brother to him. He almost had enough. "Its just me that has something wrong." He could hear Sungjong sitting up, "What are you talking about hyung?" he murmured softly and Myungsoo got quiet again. "Night." He simply spoke, and he could feel Sungjong's curious stare on him, but he didn't question him, and simply laid back down to sleep. He wasn't saying he was going to accept him as a brother, nor was he saying he was going to confess his feeling--but he figured that acting nicer to him wasn't too much to ask for, he hated seeing Sungjong sad because of him; so he would just stop holding back as much. Just a little, he would try. He wasn't so sure if this would be a horrible mistake or not, but he knew Sungjong didn't deserve to be treated badly. He would try.
 

A/N; combining two chapters in one for updates nowww, to make it quicker ouo/ sorry for those who thought this would be a long indepth story this is more quick ;; I have another planned honestly and this was supposed to be just a quick oneshot i was going to do before the idea left (I just ended up writing a bunch more than I planned LOL)