Author note: Hi everybody!

This is SunakoNakahara.

How was your day? Hope everything went well! Sorry for the enormous delay, it's been four years, gosh.

But anyways, 271 subscribers!! I can't believe it! Thank you so much!!

Here's the seventh chapter of this fic, hope you'll like it. And IF you're new, read from the start to catch up with the story and get ready because I do love angst.

Subscribe or comment what do you think. I'm all up to criticism! 

 

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Chapter Seven   The unsettling crossroads of Should and Must

There are two paths in life: Should and Must. We arrive at this crossroads over and over again. And each time, we get to choose.  All my life I’ve chosen Must again and again...and it was petrifying. And at times it was dark, but it starts as a whisper, a call from somewhere far away telling to choose it one more time.

06/04/17

 

-3:25 p.m.-   "Mom, what are we going to eat today?"
"Your father will take us to eat at that Japanese food restaurant that you like so much"   "Brilliant! I'm dying for daddy to arrive soon! "   Seungri heard a mother and her youngest son talking as they walked through the park, he smiled. He was sitting on a bench watching the children run nonstop from one side to the other, he was hot, but for some reason, he didn't feel hot. It was a weird feeling.    He took a deep breath, he was having a panic attack. He got out of the taxi because suddenly he felt that what he was about to do was wrong, he needed to get out of there ... he needed to think. He was going to marry Seunghyun, he was going to marry him… why was he hesitating so much? He had already decided, living with him forever seemed like a safe and peaceful future.   That was the problem. He knew that getting married was a decision for love, he shouldn't hesitate for a second. He loved Seunghyun too much, he was the most important person in his life and he knew that no one could replace him, so why was he not feeling happy or excited about it? What he felt must be love, he felt something for Seunghyun. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been so much time with him, right?
Damn romantic movies that portray love in such a fanciful and irreal way.
Perhaps it was all an exaggeration, love couldn't make one person go crazy for another, it couldn't risk everything for another, it couldn't make someone feel butterflies in the stomach, electric shocks from little eye contact, and wishes for protection towards another person. It just couldn't.    Maybe he was exaggerating everything and there he was making Seunghyun wait stupidly. He had to stand up  from that bench and go with a firm step to the church and spend the rest of his life with him. That's right, he should do that.
  However, neither his feet nor his body paid any attention to him.
Right in front of him, he saw a couple of kids drop cookie packages and run away. If he was someone else he would just let it go, but not Seungri. He had a big problem, he was a cleaning freak, he couldn't see anything dirty or messy. Seunghyun had to stop him several times so as not to start cleaning the tables of the restaurants he went to or picking up the garbage that he saw from the floor.   He gave a small smile as he stood up to pick up what the children threw away. This time Seunghyun wasn't there to stop him. Seungri looked around for a garbage can and saw one to the left of it, walked up to it, and threw it away. He sat on the same bench with his hands folded.
He should get out of there now, but he was so scared. So afraid of being wrong and hurting someone who loves too much in the long run.   "Hey! Be careful!" A voice distracted her thoughts for a few seconds. A man dressed in a black coat and jean pants was apparently shouting at someone in the distance, he was going to ignore him when he saw him holding something in his hands and strangely he felt annoyed. That man had an empty can and some papers. She stared at him to see what he was doing with it, he blamed his obsession for not being able to ignore it, it had brought him trouble before.
Just as he thought, the man made the gesture of throwing them to the ground so he tried to stop him.
  Whistling.   Seungri internally beat himself up for doing that. "Hey!" He called him once, that man was going to listen to him, he couldn't go through life littering the streets like nothing.
The man looked around, Seungri waited to see what he did. He opened his eyes when the man tried to dump the trash on the ground again. "Hey, you!" He called him one more time, he knew he was going to win a verbal fight with someone, but his temper always betrayed him, he couldn't stand idly by.   The man stopped, but this time he turned away. Seungri crossed his legs and saw him, he looked quite young, suddenly that man was looking at him from head to toe. He hardened his gaze, how does he dare to see someone he doesn't even know like that?
That man frowned and Seungri suddenly felt irritated.
"Are you talking to me?" The man simply asked.
Seungri tried not to feel annoyed with the stranger. "Yes, I do. Could you not mess up the park? I just cleaned up the place where you were about to dump the trash.” Seungri tried to sound as kind as possible.
  The man showed a mocking half-smile. "What are you? The gardener?" He raised an eyebrow looking at him with unsincere worry,
Seungri took a deep breath, apparently, he met an idiot.
"What do you think?" He replied sarcastically.   “I think you are dressed very elegantly to be the gardener, or maybe you've even stolen those clothes from the groom who is going to get married nearby. Should I notify the police? " The man replied with mock concern and Seungri thought it was a bad idea to talk to that stranger. Maybe he should just have let him be, he could have picked it up later. Damn his big mouth.
"You know what? Forget it.” Seungri got tired of listening to nonsense. "Could you leave me alone?" He asked with a forced smile, hoping the subject would disappear from his view.   "Sure" The man answered and made the gesture to leave, however, he didn't. Suddenly, he was a few steps closer to Seungri. "Better answer me a question." The man saw that Seungri was waiting for whatever he was going to say with an unpleasant look. He hesitated for a second, but his curiosity got the better of him. "You are the other groom to be married at the Choi mansion, right?"   Seungri looked away, a little nervous. He didn't think anyone would recognize him, he knew he was too well-dressed to be sitting in a park, but still.
"So if you are-" The man in front of him decided to continue not hearing any response. "Your wedding is in the mansion, but you are here in the park." He spoke more to himself than to Seungri. "Why is that?"   Seungri blinked a couple of times, who did that guy think he was to question his decisions and ask about his personal life?
"You have a problem with that?" Seungri bluntly answered with another question.
The man simply shrugged somewhat disinterestedly. "Directly no, but indirectly yes." He scratched his neck for a second. “My mother is the one with the problem. The faster you go to get married, the faster my mother will get out of there with my car completely safe"
Seungri frowned and pulled away slightly, the man was already sitting next to him. He wondered if he was okay talking to a complete stranger. "Why have you sat down?" He asked with notorious annoyance, he wanted the subject to leave him alone. He got even more upset when the man laughed lightly.   "Should I lie down to have a chat then?" The man next to him made a move to lie on his lap and Seungri pulled away even further, completely surprised by his attitude. The subject straightened with a somewhat teasing smile. "Arguments always happen when one is sitting"
"Discussion?" Seungri was beginning to think that he hadn't met an idiot, but a madman. His common sense told him that he should stop and leave, but for some reason, he didn't want to give the stranger the pleasure of letting him know he was feeling intimidated.
"That's how it is"
"Don't you have anything better to do?"
"I don't have money to go home and I just ate, so I'm free all day"
Seungri's gaze hardened, he knew that he shouldn't feel annoyed with a stranger because it would be too important to him, but that man was pissing him off! Maybe if he punch him in the face he would leave him alone, but he couldn't do it… he didn't want to, not because he didn't know how to fight but to be out of trouble. Yep, that's it.   I know you have a problem" The man said and Seungri turned to look at him questioningly. "Come on, tell me what your problem is, maybe I can help you"
"Why should I tell you my problem?" He quickly fought back.
"So you do have a problem." The man smiled, showing himself satisfied with the situation, Seungri looked away slightly embarrassed. That guy was strange, talking to him as if he had known him for years. He saw the man frown thoughtfully. "You know something? I don't follow the advice of just anyone, but I am always willing to advise others." He felt him turn around to see him. "You should always listen to strangers, sometimes they know more than we do"   Seungri noticed that the man sitting next to him wore a gold ring on his left hand and he couldn't help being curious, maybe he should talk to someone about what was wrong with him.   "Are you married?"
The man opened his eyes subtly, surprised, and saw his ring for a couple of seconds and then let out a soft laugh.
"Yes, I am" The man replied with a half-smile.