“Jin-Joo, you better hurry up. If not, you going to miss the bus and I am too busy to drive you to school!!” I shouted for countless of times to my eldest daughter who always seems to be late, without fail, every single morning for school. Her youngest sister, my baby girl Mi-Soo had been ready for school and she even had finish her breakfast, like 20 minutes ago. Now from where I could see her, faithfully waiting for her Unnie in front of the porch. I had told her to catch the earlier bus but she insists of waiting for Jin-Joo.

Every single morning, without fail Jin-Joo will be late, not that she had woken up late but, from what I could see that she had been spending lots of time with her make-up, especially her thicken eyeliner. What with that? I don’t know why she must hide her beautiful pair of eyes. Her beautiful eyes truly remind me of her late mother who had died during giving birth to Mi-Soo, 15 years ago.

I could not hold my frustration no more. I took the stairs, 2 at the time and as I reached outside her bedroom, I knocked once and just dash inside her bedroom. What I saw a shocked me that my leg almost wobbled. Jin-Joo was sitting by the window ledge and when I walked in her bedroom, she turns to me with eyes glistening in tears, her smeared eyeliner runs down her chubby yet high cheekbones. My Jay-jay is crying.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I coo as I sat by her side and pull her in my embrace. She hugs me tight as she laid her head at the crook of my neck, snuggling close. She did not reply me and I just let her cry as much as she want while I pat her back and rock her baby gently, as if she is still my little baby girl that I had missed so much. Well, seeing her grow day-by-day and the gap between me and her had seems to widen apart, if I could be frank to myself, scare me the most. I heard Mi-Soo standing outside the bedroom. I slowly turn towards the open bedroom door and I saw Mi-Soo peeking in. She seems to wonder what’s going on with her elder sister, Jin-Joo.

I speak to her softly. “Go on to school now, baby.”

Mi-Soo looks at her sister cautiously, ignoring my instruction earlier. My baby sad eyes look up at me, questioningly. “What’s wrong with Unnie?”

“She’s not well. She will not go to school today. You go ahead now, baby.” Again I coax her to catch her bus before too late. I felt Jin-Joo body moved in my arm but I keep my hold tighten. My eyes never stray to Mi-Soo who still standing rooted to the same position.

“Can I stay home too, daddy?” Mi-Soo asked politely, then her face break into a bright smile. But nothing can sway me from my previous instruction to her. With a firm answered no, I adamantly asked her to go and catch the bus before the bus left her.

“But-t…”

“No baby! You go to school now!!” I barked and pointed my finger to the open bedroom door. Mi-Soo bowed her head dejectedly. Jin-Joo heads shot-up away from the crooked of my neck maybe she is a shocked to hear my angry voice. I could feel her teary eyes on me. 

“Mi-Soo, you go to school first. I will go later after lunch. Ok?” Her soft voice placate her sadden sister. Mi-Soo who looks up to Jin-Joo, and nodded her head, then she timidly turn to me. I soften my feature and smile, “I’m sorry baby. But please go to school now, ok? Daddy will bring lunch for you later.”

“You are not opening the Inn this morning?”

 I nodded her head. “I will ask Uncle Young Bae to take care of the Inn later. Ok?”

At last, my baby left her sister bedroom and, from where I sat with Jin-Joo, heard her slamming the Inn main entrance door shut on her way out to catch her school bus. I turn to my Jay-Jay. My hand busy swiping her short black hair to one side of her face. My other hand clutches her cold shivering hands.

“Now tell me, my princess. What with the tears?” I smiled.

~~~

After dropping Jin-Joo at her school and passing to her Mi-Soo lunch, I quickly drive back to my Inn. I had left Young Bae to oversee the Inn and had ordered him to station behind the cashier, instead, because he tends to meander to the kitchen, and flirting with my head chef Yuri. I hope he keeps his hands off my latest head chef. I don’t Yuri to left me just like her predecessor. I had no energy and out of resources to look for a new chef at this short period of time.

The short trip to my girls’ high school had been filled with dread, at least that how I had feel. Again, I had totally failed to pry Jin-Joo of her strange reason for this morning break down. She is not giving anything away even after I had patiently waited for her to share with me of reason of her break down. I even make a deal with her that if she did share it with me, I will pay both Mi-Soo and her tickets to watch the live concert of the WIN: Who is next the final battle between Team A and Team B that will be held next week. I know both of my girls are rooting for Team A and their favourite are Mino. Well, mine is Kang Seung Yoon. He is delicious.

Anyway, Jin-Joo chose to shy away from sharing her problem with me. Well, I guess watching Mino live in concert is not that important for her and here I thought that K-Pop boy bands that she had vigilantly supported, such as SHINee, Bigbang and 2PM meant everything for her and she simply could not live without them. I still remembered that both she and her younger sister had painstakingly saving up every penny of their school allowances to buy the concert tickets for Bigbang Alive 2012 Live concert here in Seoul. Not buying lunch instead they had packed their food from home. Not buying new shoes and dresses for more than a month. They don’t even go out much and stay home most of the time. The thing that had makes me so happy that they had willingly worked as waitresses or washing all the dirty dishes at Mejikong Inn, which had been operated by the Choi family. Of course, I was needed to pay their small amount of salary for their hardship.

Sometime I wonder am I a bad father figure for both of my 2 girls? How I wish my late wife Sul-ah was still alive to share with me the burden in taking care of our 2 girls?

It had been easier to take care of them when they were still young. But now, they are blossoming stages and progressing into their adulthood, I don’t deny that they might not be comfortable in sharing with me, even though I am gay and I did rather have the instinct of a mother. They are stuff that they can’t or rather embarrass to share with me, especially on the topic of women menstruation which I am so clueless on the subject. I needed to seek the help of my playboy tenant Dong Young Bae to explain to me of such situation and the most embarrassing part is, Young Bae is a straight man. But his knowledge on women and their issues had amazed me. Well, he is a typical playboy who constantly changes girlfriends like he is changing his clothes. Young Bae is a great help. He is a God-sent.

When I had park my Audi at my ‘Staff Only’ parking garage, I did not immediately get out of my car, instead my eyes linger at the rear-view mirror, observing the crowd of people that patronising my family-owned restaurant, Mejikong Inn. The inn had belongs to my in-laws that I had inherit it from them. I have since taken over the business operation over 10 years now. I can’t say much if the business had been flourishing when I have lack of the business knowledge and the ability to promote the inn further than it is. All those years, it is just a matter of surviving to pay my employees’ salary, saving up enough funds for the inn maintenance and drawn in sufficient deals with my food suppliers for the inn. Of course, there is sufficient money for my daughters’ luxurious lifestyles, but I am lucky to have such reasonable daughters who are not the spendthrift types. They seem to be satisfies with what had been laid in front of them. And as I said earlier, if they did want to buy extra stuff which is above the monthly allowance that I have provided for them, I’ve teach them well in how to do their own financial saving. I am so proud of them.

Young Bae did ever ask me the reason why my in-laws had left Mejikong to me. Well, a part of being my only tenant, Young Bae, together with my late-wife, is childhood friends. The 3 of us have been friends since junior high and through college too. He had been my best man in my wedding and the God father for both my daughters. And just like my late-wife, Young Bae also knows and accepted my ual orientation. I still could remember the day that I had asked him to be my best man. Indeed he has been a shocked to learn that I was marrying Sul-ah when he already knows that I swing the other direction. Did I ever suspect him of having secret feeling for Sul-ah? Well, my late-wife was just not his type.

“Did you even have feelings for her?” I knew, at that time, he meant well when his voice was full of anger. After all, Sul-ah was his buddy too and, just like me, he did not want her to get hurt, even from someone like me. I bowed my head, still feeling dazed by Sul-ah parent to marrying her, despite everything. And I could not shared those confused feeling even with Young Bae. He was bitter with everything that was happening in front of his eyes. But he did agreed to be my best man and he made the decision himself of moving-in in the extra room at Mejikong Inn, where I used to reside ever since the death of my own parent.

Only after learning of Sul-ah cancerous illness, Young Bae realised the sacrifices that I did for my late wife to fulfil her dream of having her very own family, even if she had to marry a gay man like me. The only thing that I had regretted of not giving her is the birth of a son. She was upset but I have been the one that need to carry-on with the responsibilities to oversee the future of Mejikong Inn.

Yoon Sul-ah and I had been an only child in our respective family, and so my in-laws refused to pass down the inn to the other cousins or relatives. Well, since I am their only son-in-law, it has been my duty to inherit the inn from them.

“Why didn’t they think of marrying Sul-ah to me instead of you? After all, I am way much cuter and Manly than you,” chuckle Young Bae. I glared at him. “You are cuter than me? Get a life, Young Bae. You are below the height of a Greek God, which is me, of course,” I smirked. “I just cannot imagine how short Sul-ah babies will be like if she chooses to marry you.”  

“-hole”

~~~

Kang Daesung runs an investing business in stock exchange. And he has always been a very good investor consultant that I’ve known since college. He knows of which company to buy their share and when is the appropriate time to sell your shares. After graduating from college, he has go ahead opening up his own investing company. From what I last heard from a few of my former college pals, his investing company have been flourishing. I did have the urge to call him up for a few advices on expanding my Inn business.

“Maybe I could use a few pointers from him, you know, of how to spice up my stagnant business.” I shared my thoughts with Young Bae. He in return just yawns of boredom over a late supper one night. “Can’t you help me out on how for me to flourish my inn?” I smacked his arm harder than I thought.

“Ouch!!” He massage his redden arm but seems to ignore the pain, instead from the look of his face, he seem to be thinking of something. I watch closely. He averted his eyes from my watchful eyes but after a few silence moments, he looks at me, directly to me. “Did you ever have any inkling feeling for me?” I gaped.

He shrugged his shoulder, gesturing his hands in my face, as he continues, “You know since you are gay. Did you not feel my iness oozing to your libido?”

Narrowing my eyes at him, I could not believe that he even have the decency to ask such a question right in my face. I smirked. “Why? You suddenly want to try to get laid by a man? Did the girl bore the death of your royal highness?”

His smiles widen. “You never will know how my will lead me to. So?”

I cringe. “You are not my type and definitely the answer is no. I never feel any sort of iness oozing from you, let alone from the crack of your butthole!!” I stomped off to my living quarter. I heard Young Bae evil laughter as I left the table and it’s just makes my blood boil. The nerve of him!!

Breathe in and breathe out...as I counted to ten, I tried my best to simmer down my anger. Usually I able to ignore, most of the time Young Bae sick jokes and never taken it too serious. From the years knowing him, he didn’t mean it too be serious with his teasing on my uality. I know he had been the second person, right after Sul-ah to accept me for being different. But sometime, whenever I tried to be busy and needed most of his opinion on serious matter, his jokes comes in at the wrong time and that’s when it gets unbearable to handle.

Grabbing my mobile, I scrolled for Daesung number. Just when I tried to hit the call button to call him, Daesung number flashing on my phone screen. I quickly hit the answer number.

“Hello Daesung, how are you?” I replied brightly but I quickly detect something is wrong with Daesung.

“Well...I should be fine if you can help me out, Hyung.”

I scowled. “What is it?” But total silence is all I heard from the receiver. “Hello? Daesung?”

“Y-Yees...I am still here. So can you come to my apartment now? I will explain further of my problem.” I could sense the problem that Daesung is facing might be something serious from the sound of it. I know he is expecting my help, as much as I need his help with my inn. Well, Daesung have been a close friend of mine, although he is clueless with my uality, not that I have any inkling feeling for him. Young Bae and Daesung are just not my type. I prefer someone that shows his femininity side, more than me. But until now, I have yet to meet that dream guy of mine.

“Hello? Hyung are you still there?”

Daesung voice had dragged me back to his current situation. “Yes I am still here. Ok, I will drop by to your apartment with Young Bae, ok?” But before I could hang up the phone, I heard Daesung shout again. “Hyung...you come alone. Don’t bring hyung Young Bae with you. I don’t need him to nag me at the moment. Please hyung?”

What can I do but listen to his plea? “Of course, I’ll come alone.” I quickly ended the call and dash to my garage, totally ignoring Young Bae who still leisurely sitting at the same place where I had left him previously. I heard his hoot call. Getting inside my Audi, I drive to Daesung apartment which is not that far from my inn.

When I reached Daesung apartment, I saw that his front door stood open and there are loud voices coming out from the house. I get out from the car without killing off the car engine. I dash inside the house and the first thing that I saw is my missing dream guy, when the say man too turns to look me directly in my eyes.

I am so falling in love with the pouty.