One Year Later….

One year has passed and I feel everything has passed. Is my heart still ached because of him? The answer of course I still feel pain over his attitude to me. Even he didn’t know what had happened to me. He didn't give the slightest chance on me. The thing makes me feel sick that he was more trusting Kim Myungsoo than me as his boyfriend.

A few days ago I was doing my second surgery, before I had the first surgery about 5 months ago. God so loved me that He allowed me to stay alive.

My life now feels more meaningful and I don’t feel alone anymore. Yunho hyung and his boyfriend Kim Jaejoong is always with me. They always give me support to keep me alive longer and until now I could still live.

A year ago I hide about my illness from everyone around me. At that moment I felt tormented and bear it all alone. I don’t dare say about my liver cancer to anyone.

Until one day Yunho hyung found me fainted in the hotel lobby when I would visit him. Yunho hyung was very worried about me and then he took me to the hospital and the doctor explained everything that happened to me.

“I'm very sorry to tell you about it, before Daehyun never allowed me to to tell that to anyone about the situation. Mr. Jung Daehyun suffering from liver cancer and it has entered the stage 4. Cancer cells in the body grow rapidly evolving and we can’t anticipate it. Previously I've been advised to do the operation but he refused, this operation is very dangerous and there is only 25% chance he could survive. Now the situation is getting worse I'm not sure he could go through life up to 20 months. The only way that we can do is to do an operation to remove cancerous cells in his body and the success of this operation is very small for him to survive”.

After hearing the testimony of the doctor he was shocked and cried even he was angry with me. I can only keep quiet when I was even afraid to look at him. We both cried together and hugged his tightly. This being the heaviest blow to both of us.

I didn’t want to leave my hyung alone in this world. It was a surprise that I gave to him after a long time we did not meet.

I’m sorry hyung but I love you....

I really feel very lucky to have him as my hyung he decided to leave the modeling world that has made ​​his name in the international world just to be with me at all times in the fight against this illness. Now he opens a new business with his lover in the Shibuya area. While I disappear from the world of singing, I decided the contract before I left Korea and settled in Japan with my hyung. Youngjae...... during this year I don’t know the news about him as if he disappeared from this earth and I'm still expecting his love. Besides that I still can’t forget it. Although he has broken my heart and chose to go along with that bastard.

Now I continue my life in Japan became a vocal teacher while undergoing medicine. I still have time to live and I won’t waste my life. Doctors say this time I still have time for 8 months to live.

"How the current your condition, daehyunie" Yunho hyung woke me from my reverie.

"I feel better hyung just still feel a little pain in my stomach"

"Initially I was worried you were in a coma for 4 days and now I'm happy to see your smile again"

"I thought I was in heaven with eomma and Appa"

“aishh this kid... stop saying those words”

“mianhaeyo hyung, saranghae ^^”

Youngjae Pov:

Tomorrow should be the 2nd anniversary of the relationship between me and daehyunie. But it was all just a dream, now I’ve been with Kim Myungsoo and we’ve engaged a week ago. whether I love Myungsoo like I love Daehyunie? I'm not sure with my feeling, I just felt comfortable being beside maybe because of we've been together since childhood. This feeling is very different from when I was with Daehyunie. I feel guilty to Myungsoo because of I haven’t fully opened my heart to him. I betrayed him because of the deepest of my heart I still love Daehyunie.

Although he wasn’t as romantic as Myungsoo but he knows how to piss me off and continued to fall for him. I can’t deny the heart and the mind is actually still controlled by Jung Daehyun. I missed the sweet kiss on the his lips and his touch on my body. Slowly I closed my eyes and didn’t realize that I had tears in my eyes who knows how long I wept for him, this time I wanted to hug him.

It's been one year since I met him and I don’t know about his existence. For several months I kept looking for his existence but until now I haven’t found him. I looked it up without the knowledge of Kim Myungsoo, of course I don’t want to hurt him anymore. Kim Myungsoo very loving me and understanding about my condition, he accepted without complaint and never once did he sue me or pressuring me. He protected me like a guardian angel.

If everything doesn’t happen at that time ..........

If the time that I could explain everything to him ....

Maybe this time I was with Jung Daehyun, I hate his character like childish, stubborn, and jealous. Thousands of times I've told him that it was only on the job and no more than that until everything happened in a short time.

Love makes us blind and forget everything

Because of love we hurt others

Because of love we giving happiness to others

Because of the love that you make me look stupid and weird.

You can’t use your logic sense when you feel love

And what is actually the meaning of love?

I always get hurt because of love, because love I lose you, I was tormented by love.

“baby, what are you thinking” Myungsoo put his chin on my shoulder while hugged me from behind.

“anniyaa, I just felt tired and I missed my eomma” I replied by holding his both hands around my neck. it feels very warm and cozy.

“tomorrow we are off, what do you want me to take you to see your eomma?” now he was in front of me, staring at my eyes

“of course you have to take me” I kissed his forehead and he smiled

I’m sorry myungsoo…..I shouldn’t lie to you and play your feelings like this. Now you are my future and Daehyun is my past. Hold my hand and guided me to walk along with you to get through the road that we would be arriving.

Previously I was too stupid not ever realize your love towards me. You're so handsome and kind to me. Eomma love you very much and he wants us to get married as soon as possible. But I don’t want as soon as it's still a lot we need to take to the stage. I hope you take me to be patient.

I wanted to reassure myself about my feelings. I don’t want to hurt anybody again, and one thing I want to make sure that I could forget about Jung Daehyun entirely from my mind and heart. So that I could be yours forever Kim Myungsoo.

JUNG DAEHYUN KIM MYUNGSOO WHY YOU MAKE MY LIFE LIKE THIS????

WARNING: ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE, SO SORRY FOR BAD GRAMMAR

finally I can post this chapter, sorry for bad story ;;_;;

honestly this is my first time to make fanfic.

hope you guys like it ^^

Thank you so much *chuu*