“Take a seat” YG instructed me as we entered his office. “Close the door and wait outside, no one is to be let in” he ordered his body guards as they shut the door behind them. “Now. What is it you would like to discuss Eunbyeol Lee?” I felt so intimidated… Yang Hyun Suk was always so gentle with me, he was another father figure in my life, he was more of a father then mine, whoever he was…
“Well? Get on with it.”
“Yang Hyun Suk, with all due respect. Why are you treating me like dirt?” I saw him raise his eyebrow “Like really, I am not a child anymore, I have been in line, done my duties and as far as the world knows I am an amazing new YG entertainer, I’m perfection and you know it. Well when it comes to working and making YG’s name bigger…” I said stubbornly.
“Ye, I know… you are a diligent worker…”
“Then?”

-Sigh- “Era” He said more softly this time. “Your so young, you have so much more potential, you haven’t been on tour yet, you only appeared on stages and your album is out selling like crazy, and a few photo shoots, you still have to do interviews, one on one signings…”
“Is that all? I have more to experience?”
“Ye… well I mean your so young, I understand you’ve grown over the 3 years here of training, you picked the language and culture up so fast I would have mistaken you for a Korean, but” He began trailing off

“But what? I am my own independent woman, and you just proven it”
“Era, just because you left your past behind doesn’t mean you can forget your history and where you came from” Yang Hyun Suk threw at me.

It hit me… I haven’t thought about my past in a long time, I left my “life” back in Canada there’s no turning back.

“Don’t…”
“Era. You need to hear this.”
“No, stop, we are here to talk about T.O.P and me, not my hell of a life” I said feeling the tears coming now…
“Era. Listen. Hear me out –pause- okay?”
I nodded
“Since you first came to Korea, I had been keeping in contact with your mother…” Yang Hyun Suk confessed
“WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO THAT WOMAN!” I said freaking out. I was out of my chair at this point and yelling down at my boss :/
“ERA PLEASE. Relax hear me out! You were only 15 almost 16 I needed parent consent, she is your mother! Your guardian. I can’t just take you away from home and let you live on your own” YG said still sitting
“AND WHY NOT? I HAVE BEEN DOING THAT! OR SO I THOUGHT. I CAN RAISE MYSELF. Yang Hyun Suk. like I got a job to make money to pay for everything while I was training. I TOLD YOU. Not to speak with her, she was never a mother to me!” I said angrily, I hated the woman. I never spoke about her here. Not even a single memory of her all these years.
“ERA. Where is all the respect? I don’t know how you treat them with your culture but here we Koreans respect our parents and elders.” YG said angrily now, all the things I learned have been thrown out the door.

“OH. IS THAT SO? Would you respect a woman, who had me  at 19? Not even married. Who remarried a man who beats her? Who cheats on her? And when is stressed out beats me? And drinks to the point she sleeps and pukes it all out? A MOTHER WHO BRINGS HOME MANY MEN TO HAVE THEM TRY TO GET WITH ME WHEN SHE IS PAST OUT?” I screamed at him through the tears
“Era. You don’t know the full story” YG said softly
“AND YOU DO? I HATE THIS WOMAN SHE NEVER PROVIDED ENOUGH FOR ME. So when I had the chance to run and leave I did! And it was to come here to Korea and sing and make music that tells my heartache, to live a life I always dreamed of but never had the chance to with my old lifestyle.”
“Era. Please let me tell you something”
“I don’t want to hear it, that woman makes me SICK. she never even told me about my father! And that man left me, I HATE my family and my “brother” is not even with the same father, who is 3 years older then me. SO THINK ABOUT IT. SHE HAD HIM AT 16. the lucky left when he could. I barely talk to him but when I do I resent him. Okay? So ask me how can I respect my ‘family’”

I was so anger at him, I was crying and sobbing I felt like I was going to pass out because I was crying so hard. I plopped myself back into the chair to let him take it all in. My history
“I’m… I’m… so sorry. I didn’t hear your side before” YG said reaching for my hand.
“I guess so. And if you think you are going to take away my only one thing that gives me love in many ways your wrong. Ill leaves the company if I have to” I told him
“Eleni Lou” I flinched; my past is reoccurring to come and haunt my beautiful present and future. “I made a promise to your mother that night when I took you out of your home to the airport to come here, that I would treat you like my own daughter, to have good male figures in your life as a father figure because you never had one. To protect you from physical harm and have one woman who would hold you dearly as much as she did.”

As he was saying that I pictured him, Jay… my fatherly figures, My many body guards who went everywhere with me. And Kim. A woman, who was loving, caring like a mother…
“Not your fault she slept around”
“Eleni… she was . Twice. For you and your brother.”

My heart froze. Everything around me seemed to disappear as I faded into the darkness, Young Hyun Suk voice seem to echo around the black sight I was seeing

“She was a teenager, walking home one night… then 3 years later when she thought she was out of the darkness, the past reoccurred again… and your step father was her high school crush, she met him again… he had a dark past, commitment issues…. She was stressed Era, give her a break” his words were choppy, I faded in and out picking up a few words

“You understand more now right?” Young Hyun Suk brought me back as I felt his hands squeeze mines “darling? I’m sorry to hit you like this but the point is she requested you don’t see anyone till your all set and well into your 20’s when you marry... It was her last request” Young Hyun Suk said looking at me, worried.

“But im not marrying T.O.P we just started going out..”
“Oh. Please. I see you two. I can see you guys tying the not soon” YG said seriously :/

“Her last request?” :(
“ye…”
“Umma…-starts crying- why didn’t she tell me her past? I would have understood” I began breaking down again
Young Hyun Suk came around to hug me as I put my head down on his table “You were too young, and you grew up over here, too far from her and she seen how happy you were, she didn’t want to ruin that”
“I didn’t even say goodbye to her. Im horrible and I thought she was keeping me from my happiness”
“Era, she wants you to have that, but when you’re older so you don’t have a life like she did… but I can see you really need it. You need T.O.P…”
“I do” I breathed
“So I must let you, even though she requested this... I’m sure she’ll understand…”
“Thank you” I said quietly, trying to collect myself. “And your policy?”
“Was gone out the window when I saw you to together the very first time, T.O.P loves you more then anything, he loves you in many ways we don’t understand… I can see it, and you crave and return that same love he’s been looking for” YG smiled back to me as I looked up at him.
“Go on. Be happy, don’t let your past haunt you but move you foreword” he kissed my forehead. As I left his office to head home.