Chapter Five

Just so we're clear

Fei was glad the light was off, because she knew was hanging open in an unattractive manner.  Was he making fun of her by asking her out?

“You’re making fun of me,” she slowly said as she tried to pull her hands away from his grasps.

“I’m not--”

“I realize that it’s stupid that I’d just go out with anyone that’d ask me, but what’s so great about me that I’d turn someone down who had taken the time, and made the effort to reach out to me?”

Seunghyun could tell by her tone that she was offended.

“I’m not making fun of you--”

“I don’t even know why I honestly answered your question, when even I know how stupid the answer makes me sound,” she continued on as if he didn’t say anything.

“I’m not making fun of you--”

“I just know how it is to be turned down, and it hurts okay?”

“I’m not--“

“It’s not a pleasant feeling being turned down after you master up the courage to confess, and ask someone out.”

Seunghyun could tell that she was getting worked up the more she talked; a part of him was excited that she was talking so much and saying personal things out in person.

“You probably wouldn’t understand, because you’re TOP, but rejection is not a very nice feeling.”

Seunghyun sighed as he grabbed for her arm in the dark with the intention of shaking her a little so she’d listen to him.  Unfortunately, he grabbed for her when Fei turned her body toward him, so his hand landed on her by accident.  

Fei gasped.

Seunghyun was pretty sure it was her , but he squeezed a little just to make sure.

“What are you doing?!”  Fei screeched as she stood up and stepped away from him.

“U..uh..”  Seunghyun was staring down at his hand in the dark.  He couldn’t quite close it, so his hand remained the shape of her .  He just fondled Fei’s in the dark.   He had a good grab of her too.   He remembered to apologize after a while so he said, “I’m not sorry.”

“What?!”

, that probably didn’t help the situation.

He cleared his throat a few times as he tried to think back to what he was trying to say.  It was something about s, perfect s…  Seunghyun was glad the light was still off because he couldn't seem to look away from where his hand is.

It was a few minutes before Seunghyun came back to reality and said, “What I meant to say is that it was an accident.  I’m also not making fun of you when I asked you out.”  He couldn’t quite bring himself to apologize for grabbing her, because he knew it wouldn’t sound sincere, and it’d just make her think he had done it on purpose.

“And I do know how it feels to be rejected,” he informed her after a few more silent filled minutes passed.  “Before I was T.O.P. I was just plain ole chubby Seunghyun.”   

“Oh, i... is that why fans were calling you Tubby earlier during the concert?  Because you were chubby?”  She asked in a concerned tone and Seunghyun chuckled.

“It’s T-a-b-i not T-u-b-b-y,” he spelled out.

“Oh God, sorry.  I thought that it finally made sense.”

“Don’t apologize, what you said made sense.”  He chuckled.  “And I wasn’t making fun of you when I asked you out.”  He turned and looked up toward her direction. "careful of the mice,” he said because he wanted her to come back and sit down beside him.  It worked.  She quickly sat down beside him, her shoulder once again glued to his. “I think that you need some time to be by yourself,” he mused.  “And since you have a difficult time saying no to people then just go out with me.”

“So, you’re doing me a favor.”

“Exactly.”

“Like a charity case.”

“Not exactly.”  He said carefully.  “I like to think of it as a tradeoff.  As long as you don’t have a boyfriend it won’t get in the way of you delivering me a sandwich when I want it.”  He heard her scoff softly and he smiled because the sound was so familiar to him that he was glad she was starting to act a little more like herself with him.  “And during the same time you can be by yourself.”

She was quiet for a while and Seunghyun was beginning to think that he should have went with the other approach of pretending to be in love with her but he was so sure this trade off would be more appealing to her.

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